EARTHQUAKE!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok, it wasn´t a big deal, but there was an earthquake outside of Quito this morning. It lasted about 5 seconds according to news reports. It was a 4.0 on the Richter scale. If you read Spanish, you can read about it here.

It was my first earthquake! Not necessarily on my list of things to do before I die, but it was interesting. We were close enough to feel pretty significant trembling but not close enough for things to fall off the walls. I think had that happened I would have been a lot more freaked out!

Anyway, just thought I would share! :)

30 Days to Being a Purposeful Mommy, Day 30

Day 30: Be the Person you Want your Kids to Become

Can you believe this is the end of our series? I hope it has been an encouragement to you! As I re-read these posts I am inspired to improve in many areas, because these little lessons are ones I think I will never stop perfecting.

We have come full circle, and in some ways are back where we started, hopefully a little wiser and more inspired and purposeful than we were 30 posts ago.

I know as mothers we have big dreams for our little ones, however ¨little¨ they may be. I am a big believer that we cannot expect others to do what we are not willing or able to do, no matter how good our intentions may be. So today´s advice is simple, yet hard to do.

Every day, take a look at what you are thinking, saying and doing. Are these things you would be proud to see or hear your child repeating, or would you be embarassed or dissappointed? Don´t buy into the ¨do as I say and not as I do¨ nonsense. Go for the ¨monkey see, monkey do¨ philosophy, and be the best person you can be, for their sakes and your own. And as you realize each day in what areas you have failed, realize as well that if you cannot be perfect, neither can your children.

Decide what things matter most to you, and act them out in your daily life. The truth is that a purposeful mommy is first and foremost a purposeful person. When you live your life with purpose, conviction and high expectations, every other role you play will follow suit. If you are a person of integrity and character, your children will be as much influenced by your example as by your words and discipline to them.

Thank you for joining me on this path to purposeful motherhood! It has been a challege to write for you, but I hope it was worth it. Let me know what you thought of our first series!

30 Days to Being a Purposeful Mommy, Day 29

Day 29: Remember Why you Do what you Do!

The root of being a purposeful mommy is remembering our motivation. If our motivation is just getting through the day (trust me, we have all been there!), then being purposeful in our parenting is nearly impossible. We need a much bigger reason to help us through those moments when naptime seems way too far away.

Whether you planned to have your children or you were just blessed with having them unplanned, I know that once you held them in your arms you realized that there was a part of you that you never knew was empty, and now it is full. Being a mother gives us an eternal purpose and calling, and allows us to love more deeply and selflessly than we ever knew possible.

Even so, there are many challenging moments where you might be tempted to wonder if it was all worth it. Tomorrow, when your children are angels again, or at least human, you will come to your senses and all will be well. But today maybe you have trouble getting perspective.

Remember that when no other motivation seems to get you through the day, there is one all-important reason to keep doing what you´re doing instead of shipping them off to boarding school. The Bible tells us that children are entrusted to us by God, like a loan, and He expects to reap dividends on His investment. He tailor made our children for our families, with the perfect mix of what will help us grow as people and what will be the best environment for our children, should we realize our potential to train them up in the way they should go. Being a mother is a difficult job, but it is eternally important, because we will answer to God for every moment with our precious little bundles of joy. When we understand the eternal significance of today, we will take great care that our thoughts, words and actions are those which are pleasing to God and that is the definition of purposeful parenting.

30 Days to Being a Purposeful Mommy, Day 28

Day 28: Teach your Kids the Value of Hard Work

From the time they are little, kids should have appropriate chores around the house, with whatever kind of compensation seems good to you. (Incidently, a small allowance can teach great lessons about money management and savings.) This kind of work is rewarding in and of itself, as we learn to value the satisfaction of a job well done and a clean, neat house. This of course means we ought to value hard work ourselves!

On a spiritual level, learning to value wholesome work is very important. The Bible warns many times in Proverbs about the dangers of laziness, and as they say, idle hands are the devil´s workshop. A person who is lazy in life will most likely be lazy in spiritual disciplines as well, and that is extremely damaging to a person. Take it from someone who has had to overcome these bad habits of laziness herself! Shocking, I know!

I read in a great book what one mom did in regards to encouraging good work habits and I loved it. TV is probably one of the biggest time-stealers and promoters of laziness that we all have in our homes. Instead of limiting TV time and using it as a reward (reinforcing the idea that TV is great while work is no fun), this author only let her daughters watch TV while they were doing something else. For example, they could sit down to knit or fold laundry, and then when their hands found nothing left to do, the TV went off and they had to go find a new activity. The result, she says, is that her children now value the TV very little, and would much rather be productive. Work is more rewarding than a day spent watching TV.

Think about your child´s average day. Is there a lot of dead time in front of the TV or video games? Is there a lot of sleeping in? Maybe it´s time to make some changes and promote wholesome work at home, to help our children grow and become prepared for the life they will have when they set off to be adults!

30 Days to Being a Purposeful Mommy, Day 27

Day 27: Model Communication

Depending on your own upbringing, modeling good communication in your family might be a challenge. However, it´s better that you teach your children to communicate even if it´s hard for you, because as adults you don´t want it to be hard for them.

I have seen examples of good communication and poor communication in many people. One person I know will almost never apologize, or even acknowledge a disagreement as having taken place. Moments after an argument, this person will simply act like nothing ever happened. Sweeping things under the rug will not help anything! It only teaches us to bottle up our feelings and we all know what will happen eventually--BOOM!

Another person I know will just become passive agressive at every turn when she is upset. This behavior will continue until she gets over it, and you will never know what you did to upset her!

Most of these kinds of disfunctions come from our own upbringing, which is all the more reason to learn to be communicators ourselves and not perpetuate the cycle in our children. Here are some basic starting points:

- Apologize to your kids when you´re in the wrong, and teach them to apologize as well.

- Teach them to communicate feelings (When you do this, I feel......)

- Teach them to talk about everything, whether it be the events of the day or a book they´re reading. Good communication in one area will encourage good communication in others.

- Encourage more than one-word answers.

- Explain your feelings to your children. (where appropriate)

- Teach your children to name their feelings. (Are you sad right now? Are you frustrated? Etc.)

And these are just tips. You can expand on them as you go. The important thing is to communicate! So grab a kid and get chatting!

30 Days to Being a Purposeful Mommy, Day 26

Day 26: Form Family Traditions

Most of us probably remember certain family traditions that we enjoyed with our families growing up. In my husband´s case, he remembers that certain days of the week they got to eat special foods, and when his dad travelled out of town he always brought them special snacks. In my case, my favorite family traditions were our Christmastime traditions, like making Christmas cookies and decorating them, making a special Christmas ornament or reading the Christmas story from Luke before we opened presents.

Some traditions from your childhood you may want to carry over, and others you might want to invent. It doesn´t matter if it´s as simple as chocolate chip cookies on Friday night or as complicated as a yearly trip to the same place. Traditions are part of what makes childhood so fun, because children anticipate fun things for a long time leading up to the moment. And when we are older, traditions give us a sense of nostalgia and happiness in our memories, even if other parts of our lives were chaotic.

As the mommy, the job of making family traditions will almost always fall to you. Embrace it and have some fun! Be creative, taking into account your family´s unique style and personality. Your kids will look back on those traditions and smile, and the shared memories will only enhance the bonds of family in your home.

30 Days to Being a Purposeful Mommy, Day 25

Day 25: Smile!

You know, turn that frown upside-down!

Ok, sorry for that. But this really is my advice for today. Kids are excellent little psychologists, and instanly know when something is wrong in your world. They are also wonderfully spongelike, and will soak up that bad mood in an instant, perpetuating the cycle of a bad day. So what to do?

Just smile! Look at your kids, think about how much you love them, and whip out a smile. Or a funny dance. Or a silly face. Turn that bad day upside-down. You´ll be glad you did. And when all else fails, sit in a big mixing bowl. It sure cracks Bella up.

30 Days to Being a Purposeful Mommy, Day 24

Day 24: Go Get some Lovin´!!

Today´s post is brought to you by Isabella:

Bella was tired of waiting for her daddy to get up this morning, so she decided to just climb into bed with him and get her cuddle on.

Do you ever feel like you just really need a hug? Go get one! Just go grab one of those munchkins and get your cuddle on. If they protest, just start a tickle fight with them or something. Unless they are teenagers. Then you might want to pick your battles. Ha.

30 Days to Being a Purposeful Mommy, Day 23

Day 23: Say ¨I love you¨!

I was shocked to learn when I got married that there are actually families in this world who do not say ¨I love you¨ to each other every day. When I was growing up, we always told each other ¨I love you¨. Before bed, before hanging up the phone, before someone left to go somewhere, and just randomly, too, we made sure to say those three little words.

In my husband´s family, however, they hardly ever say those words. And despite having a wonderful family full of people who obviously love him, my husband still doubts their love for him. He feels their love is conditional, and can be revoked at any moment based on some personal failure.

I think of the two options, the better one is to overuse these words rather than to underuse them. I would rather my kids (and my husband) be sick of hearing how much I love them and how proud I am of them rather than to ever have the smallest doubt of my love.

No matter how old your kids are, it´s never too late (or too early) to start telling them what´s on your heart. It doesn´t matter if they reciprocate or not. Just say it. Say it often. Say it every day. Make it a habit. You won´t regret it, and you will be laying the groundwork for a sense of security that will last until adulthood.

30 Days to Being a Purposeful Mommy, Day 22

Day 22: Don´t Expect a Thank You

Any mother who is waiting for a thank you from her husband or children is setting herself up for disappointment. It´s not that you will never get thank yous, but you will absolutely not get them as often as you would like or deserve. Plus, waiting for a thank you indicates a problem in our motivation.

Being a mother is the ultimate test of selfless service that there is, and it is generally a fairly thankless job. If we are doing all we do in the hopes of some kind of compensation, we are missing the mark. The job of being a mother is to reflect Christ´s character and sacrifice for us, which He made with no thought to whether or not many people would accept or reject Him. He did what He did for us purely because He loved us, and because we love Him, and because we love our families, we do all those monotonous mommy jobs, day in and day out, with very little thanks.

On those days when this service is especially difficult, try to remember that all you do, whether it be cooking, cleaning, ironing, changing diapers, etc. you are really doing for Christ, and not for your husband or children, who are bound to drive you crazy once in a while. And if you do all you do with this attitude, as Scripture recommends, instead of seeking human grattitude, you will find that those moments where you DO receive thanks from your family will be particularly sweet and unexpected.

30 Days to Being a Purposeful Mommy, Day 21

Day 21: Teach your Kids Compassion and Kindness

So, we´ve established that most of what we can teach our children we should teach first and foremost through our example. Every time we see someone who is ¨different¨, our kids will notice, and probably even point that person out to us if they have never seen someone like that.  These are golden opportunities to help our children understand their world and develop correct reactions to it.

It´s a natural reaction to scold when our children point and stare at someone. (Bad manners, anyone?) But a better response is to correct that behavior while explaining to our children what is going on. Did they see someone with a different skin color for the first time? Why not point out that people from different places in the world have different skin colors, and ask your child what color skin they would like to have? Start up a conversation that teaches your children to value differences and find them interesting rather than weird or scary.

There are many different opportunities for teaching compassion, and it is so easy! Children are just beginning to understand the world, and look to us to guide them. If we go a step beyond simply scolding them, and teach them to value differences in people and to treat others with kindness, we are taking yet another opportunity to be purposeful in our parenting.

30 Days to Being a Purposeful Mommy, Day 20

Day 20: Take Time to be Proud of your Kids

I don´t think it´s hard to be proud of your kids, whatever their ages, but I do think it´s easy to forget to do it. The life of a child, and even of a teen and young adult, is filled with firsts. We get really excited about the first word or first step, but somewhere along the line we seem to forget to get excited about other firsts. 

Aside from firsts, there are also other glowing opportunities to be proud of the munchkins, like when they obey you, when they help a sibling, or when they clean their room without you telling them to. Those are moments that make you feel proud of your children, if you´re paying attention (which I know you are, because you are a purposeful mommy!).

So the next step is to convey that to your kiddos. Praise them for whatever they did, and make them feel like it was a big deal. Because the best part of your kids doing something awesome is watching them smile with self-satisfaction. It´s even better when that smile grows because they realize they made you proud.

Hosts of people are in therapy as adults because they feel like they never had the approval of their parents. My thinking is that if you´re human you probably need some therapy, but I think this is one pitfall of parenting that we can all avoid. Just look for one thing every day that gives your the opportunity to praise your children. It will reinforce good behavior, and give them a sense of security in your love and approval. Plus, it´s just more fun to spend the day smiling and clapping than it is to spend it frowning and yelling. :)

30 Days to Being a Purposeful Mommy, Day 19

Day 19: Take a Nap

Seriously. Aim for once a week. Take one with your kids. They will sleep longer if they sleep with you, and you will sleep for maybe the first time since you were not a mother.

See, the problem is that along with insanity and guilt, another condition that women contract when they give birth is lack of sleep. Chronic lack of sleep that NEVER heals, until those kids are adults. When they´re babies, you have to feed them and entertain them at all hours of the night. When they´re little kids, you have to scare monsters out of closets and soothe nightmares. When they´re teens you have to wait up to make sure they are home by curfew (my plan is not to let them out of the house at all!! hahaha.). And there are so many other sleep-stealing things that come hand-in-hand with motherhood.

So what can you do? Reclaim a small portion of those super zzzzzzzzzzz´s. It won´t be like when you were single. But it will remind you that a little sleep actually will make you feel human. And that´s a good thing.

I don´t usually plan on napping. Somewhere between nursing Bella to sleep and getting up to do chores I just go unconscious. It rocks. And it happens about once a week or so. I think that´s my body´s max on no sleep. Try not to reach your max. Make a date with your dreams and don´t let them down! You really do need it. And with all that purposeful mothering you´re doing, you deserve it, too. :)

30 Days to Being a Purposeful Mommy, Day 18

Day 18: Paint your Nails

Ok, you don´t have to paint your nails. You can straighten your hair or curl it, or you can use a mud mask, or put some sparkly lotion on. Whatever floats your boat (or your husband´s).

It´s easy to let ourselves go a little once we have kids. (She types while still in pajamas...) BUT it is really important to make an effort to be our former, glamorous selves, only better because now we are glowing with motherhood! (haha.)

There are three good reasons to do this. Let´s start with the slightly selfish but incredibly powerful reason: You will feel sexy again! Woohoo! And that´s good for everyone. Because you´ll feel confident and you´ll smile, and that energy is a nice environment for others. Plus, it´s great for you.

The second reason is your hubby. He should not have to strain himself to remember why he married you. And, sorry, he definitely married you for your looks! Ok, there were other things, too, but he´s a guy. So understand his needs and don´t go a day without your makeup. But definitely try to do something at least once a week that´s a little more va-va-voom than just makeup and a ponytail. Even if it´s just painting your nails. He might not notice the nailcolor, but he´ll notice your confidence, which is sexy!

The third reason is to be a good example. Help your boys set a high standard for the woman they will marry someday, and help your girls set high standards for themselves as wives. The way we grow up has SUCH an influence on who we become and what we expect as adults. So do them a favor and teach them to value themselves! (And good hygiene!)

So, whatever girly ritual you like best, take 5 or 10 minutes and get it done! You´ll be glad you did.

30 Days to Being a Purposeful Mommy, Day 17

Day 17: Stay in the Word

This week, I want to challenge you to do a little experiment, if it´s not something you do already. Pick a time each day to pray and read the Bible. An easy place to start is Proverbs, which has 1 chapter for every day of the month. Say a prayer, read and then say another prayer.

Because we know that God´s Word is living and active, it makes sense that spending time reading it every day would start to make changes in us, little by little. But I think that even though the progress is gradual, it is obvious enough that after a couple of days, or even after just one day, you´ll realize that the change is worth it.

The best time for spending time in the Word is in the morning, if possible before the kiddos are up. This is the act of renewing our hearts and minds, and it will give us a fresh perspective for facing the challenges of each day. It will help us become more patient and joyful, and because it has such a positive effect on us, it will also have a positive effect on our family.

If you already spend time in the Word each day, good for you! Your challenge this week is to step it up a notch. Read an extra chapter each day, or tack on 15 more minutes of prayer. You can do it! And it is definitely worth the extra effort.

30 Days to Being a Purposeful Mommy, Day 16

Day 16: Take Some Time for YOU.

I know, that´s rich coming from the girl who has had a whopping ONE coffee day since the idea was born.

But it was such a great day. I think of it with nostalgia...and when I get back from the US I am SO going to have one every week. No excuses.

It´s good to have a small time each day for yourself. I split mine between time with God and playing games on facebook. (Obviously my priorities are in order...) Take a few minutes when your kids nap or once they go to bed and just do something for you.

The truth is, you will feel selfish, because mom guilt is a real mental illness that all moms contract during childbirth. But you´re not being selfish. If you take care of yourself, you will be in a better position to take care of your family. Your kids don´t need a mommy who bites their heads off (not that I have ever been there...).

You don´t even have to spend money. You can just go take a walk. But do it alone. And do it regularly. It really will help you become a more purposeful mommy, because you will be able to remember what your purpose is if you are not out of your mind. :)

30 Days to Being a Purposeful Mommy, Day 15

Day 15: Have Some Tricks up your Sleeve

Hello, everyone! We are half way through our series! How is it going for you so far?

Today´s tip will vary a lot based on your children, their personalities and ages. I think in a day a good goal for our children is wellbeing and happiness. And some days, no matter how hard you try, the most you will accomplish is wellbeing. And that´s ok. But on those days when your kids wake up on the wrong side of the bed and you´re counting down the hours until naptime or bedtime, it´s good to have a few tricks up your sleeve.

For example, when Bella has one of those days, one of my tricks is ¨making a pizza¨. It always makes her laugh, no matter how horrible her mood. After observing her bad attitude, I grab her and I say, ¨It looks like it´s time to make a pizza!¨ Then I narrate the pizza making process, roll out the dough, toss it in the air, put on the sauce and cheee, put it in the oven. Acting like she´s the dough in the process, I tickle her, toss her in the air, tickle her some more, etc. By the time she´s ¨in the oven¨ she´s always laughing.

You know the things that work for your kids, and if you don´t, find out. Then do those things! (I got the pizza idea from another mom, and it worked!) Make one goal for your day to do something that earns a smile or a laugh from your little ones. Look at those hard days as a challenge to help your child out of a funk, instead of letting it get you in a funk, too.

And when all else fails, take those kiddos outside!! Go for a walk, go to the park, blow bubbles outside...whatever you want, but in the fresh air! Works like a charm. And let the outdoors work magic on you, too. Because not only should we make our little ones laugh, we should let them make us laugh. It will completely transform your day!

30 Days to Being a Purposeful Mommy, Day 14

Day 14: Stop Comparing

I know you do it. You look on facebook, or you people-watch at the mall, or you fantasize at play dates. You imagine that mom you´re looking at and think, ¨Why does she have it all together and I don´t????¨

Guess what. She doesn´t.

When we become moms, we get a lifetime membership to the mommy club. And mommies in the mommy club support each other, help each other, give each other advice and are honest with each other. So I think most moms you ask will tell you the truth. We´re all just doing the best we can, and then faking the rest.

Did you ever meet one of those moms who just insisted that she really did have her life together and perfect, and her children never had a bad day? She is not a member of the club. And she´s a big old liar.

So stop comparing. Your life is your life, and it´s great and terrible and fun and stressful and messy and frustrating and many other things. Your children are your children, and except for the occassional fantasy you would never actually trade them for any other kids. Your husband is your husband, and you married him for a reason. Other people´s lives look wonderful from the outside because you´re on the outside! Live with them for a day as a fly on the walll and you will find that their lives are just as imperfect as yours.

And every once in a while someone will come up to you and say, ¨What well-behaved children you have! How do you do it?¨ In that moment, remember that you belong to the mommy club and be honest. ¨You should see us on a bad day!¨ :)

30 Days to Being a Purposeful Mommy, Day 13

Day 13: Annoy Your Kids

My mom was so annoying when I was a kid!! What? That doesn´t sound like a complement? Well, it is. My mom was always faithful about waking us up in the morning with some obnoxious song, or cutesy poem, or exaggerated smile. And I would think, it´s too early for this!

Even though I was obviously annoyed by her morning-person personality, it also secretly made me feel like getting up and starting the day. It was even a little bit funny.

Today´s lesson is simple: Don´t be afraid to be a goof, to look silly, and to hear those laments from your children, aka ¨Oh, mom! You´re so weird! Why won´t you leave me alone?! I´m tired!¨ Don´t worry. They secretly love it. And more importantly, mom is the one who sets the tone for the day at home, so we want to give a good example of what we are expecting from our children. Get out of bed, wash your face and slap a smile on that mouth!

You might not get 100% results. Some of your children are more able to deal with mornings than others. But they will always remember how happy you were to see them each morning!

30 Days to Being a Purposeful Mommy, Day 12

Day 12: Connect!

As a mother of a toddler living in South America, ask me how hard it is to connect with other moms. Go ahead. Ask me.

It´s really, really ridiculous.

But it´s also really, really important.

So here are some tips, from one connecting-challenged mom, to you:

Moms might have nothing in common except motherhood. That´s okay. That´s all you need. You will find hours and hours of common ground. So the next time you´re at the park, or the playplace, or the library, or wherever, try this out: ¨How old is your baby/son/daughter/etc.?¨ Then follow up with some unsolicited information: ¨Oh, that´s great! Mine is (fill in the age):¨ More often than not, this is all you need for a nice conversation. Feel free to get some contact information or not, depending on the vibes you´re getting.

Use the internet. Not for weird, stalking stuff. Just for all those mommy forums. There are lots of tools out there to help you make some friends with other moms, and ask questions and get advice, and you don´t have to look far. Just open google and go crazy!

Talk to your mom. I know, right? If you have a mom available to you, you suddenly start to value her a lot more once you become a mother. After all, she survived your childhood and teenage years and didn´t kill you. So she´s basically a success! Chat her up! Ask for her advice. You won´t follow all of it, but you will learn a lot in the process, and she will feel like you FINALLY value her opinion. Score.

Check out area churches. Lots of churches offer mommy and me style groups, or even women´s Bible studies. Make it a goal to attend once a month. If you can go more than that, that´s even better. But once a month is a good starting point.

Last, but not least, pray. Here in Ecuador, sometimes this has been the only one of all these tips that has been available to me. Just remember, His grace is enough for today. Let tomorrow worry about itself. And if you trust in Him, you´re gonna be just fine!

30 Days to Being a Purposeful Mommy, Day 11

Day 11: Pray, Pray, and Pray Some More!

And I´m not just talking about. ¨Lord, help me find the keys so I can drive these children to the park before I go insane!¨

We moms have a responsability to be prayer warriors on behalf of our children. And our husbands. So put those kiddos to bed and hit your knees! You have a lot to talk to God about, so just get started.

Here are a few things you can pray for, and I would refer you to this book, and this one, which are fantastic resources for learning how to build up your prayer life. (And no, I do not own stock in this author or anything like that.)

1. Pray for health, spiritual, physical, emotional, etc for each of your children, and your husband.

2. Pray for yourself as a mother, that you would be a good example, that you would be wise, and that you would be able to instruct your children in life, especially in the faith.

3. Pray for your children´s relationships with each other, that they would be friends and have no need to feel jealousy or inadequacy.

4. Pray for your children´s friends, that they would choose quality friends who will influence them to do good and not evil.

5. Pray for your husband, that he would be wise and lead your family in the way it should go.

6. Pray for the future, both the future of your family and your marriage and each of your children´s futures, such as future schooling, jobs, families and marriages.

And there are so many more things you can pray for! And should pray for. So get going, momma!

30 Days to Being a Purposeful Mommy, Day 10

Day 10: Get Excited! (About dandelions, feathers, doggies...)

Kids get excited about everything. Which is a stark contrast to most adults, who walk around thinking about everything they have to do today, which causes feelings of stress instead of happiness. But if we take a minute out of our busy days to share our kids´ excitement, it can really influence our attitude.

Today, and every day, take time to notice what is getting your kids excited. In our case, Bella loves doggies, birdies and flowers. Not to mention music of any and every kind. I try to help her notice those things, because I know how happy they make her. I try to notice them, myself, too. If you think about it, all of creation is an incredible gift that many of us forget to enjoy unless we´re on vacation. There is beauty all around us, and kids are pros at spotting it.

Once you see the world through your kids´ eyes, it will be easy to get excited yourself. For as much as we teach our children, our children have a lot to teach us, too. What is your kiddo trying to teach you today?

30 Days to Being a Purposeful Mommy, Day 9

Day 9: Cut Yourself Some Slack

This is an appropriate post as it is officially five days late. I have a UTI and have not been feeling up to blogging, but today I decided to try to get caught up. :)

Here´s the thing about being a mommy. For some reason, when we do everything right we feel like we can sleep at night, but if we do one thing wrong we feel like the parenting police are going to swoop down and take us to bad mommy prison. Somehow even people who have never been perfectionists in their whole lives (I am not one of those people, however) give birth to a newfound perfectionism when they give birth to their first child.

It doesn´t help us at all to put unrealistic expectations on ourselves. God has entrusted us with children so that we can train them in the way they should go, which is a high calling. However, perfection is a journey, not a destination. We continue to become more like Christ, but we won´t go from human, imperfect mommy to perfect saint in one day. The important thing is to keep improving.

I think we all have people in our lives that we look up to, and I doubt that any of them are perfect. So cut yourself some slack. I don´t mean we should be easy on ourselves. I think we really should demand a high level of excellence from ourselves as women, wives and mothers. But at the end of the day, try to put it all in perspective. If today you made progress, and got a little closer to your goals as a mother, then count the day as a success, despite its failures. If today you felt like you took two giant steps backwards, well, that will happen sometimes. Confess it to God, make it right in your home, and do better tomorrow. Ultimately, focusing on our failures will only lead us to fail more, because we will begin to feel like we are not able to succeed.


Each day when you wake up, decide to do two things: First, decide to make an effort at having a purpose behind your words, thoughts and actions today. And second, cut yourself a little slack!

30 Days to Being a Purposeful Mommy, Day 8

Day 8: Teach Your Child to Love God

Is it possible to teach your baby or toddler to love God? What about a small child? A pre-teen? A teenager?


I vote yes. I have seen a lot of people from my generation and younger generations who have become somewhat bitter about religion, despite having grown up in homes where they were taught about God. Why is this? The majority of people I have talked to say that it is because it all seemed hypocritical to them. Why? Because church was just a sunday thing, followed by a week of watching their parents live however they wanted to. So when mom and dad demanded holiness from them, it seemed pretty ridiculous.


I don´t think kids need perfect parents. I do think that kids need us to practice what we preach. The gospel needs to be something that penetrates every situation, every moment, every word, every action, every thought. If you and I have a friendship with the Holy Spirit, and we seek to bring our children into that friendship, God will do the rest.


Our children should learn about spiritual disciplines way before they understand them. Prayer, reading the Bible, memorizing Scripture, giving to the poor, tithing, displaying the fruit of the Spirit, etc. should all be parts of our daily life. Discipline should ultimately be brought back to Biblical principles.


Ultimately, just remember that Christ Himself defines loving God as obedience. Can we teach our children to love God? Yes, because we can teach our children to obey Him. And we should be hard on ourselves, striving for holiness, so that we can lead our children onto the path that we are following, rather than demanding that they follow a path that we were unwilling to follow.

30 Days to Being a Purposeful Mommy, Day 7

Day 7: Give Each Child Some One-on-One

I think as a rule women understand the concept of quality time better than men. For a man, if he is in the same room as you, not talking to you or paying attention to you, he probably still counted it as time ¨together¨ with you. But you and I both know that those moments of coexisting are not quality time.

While in our marriages we understand this concept, sometimes in parenting we are guilty of merely coexisting with our children. I spend all day, every day with Bella, but there are days that I don´t really spend time with her at all.

It´s important for our relationships with our children, and (if you have multiple children) for their relationships with each other, that each child have one-on-one time with each parent. If you are a working parent, you may only be able to spend quality time with one child per day, depending on your schedule. Even if you are a stay at home mom, it can be difficult to take time for those moments because there is just so much to do. However, the ideal would be to spend quality time with each child every day.

You don´t have to take each kid individually to a movie. Just look for small opportunities to spend a few moments of quality with your child. It can be before naptime or bedtime. It can be while you´re running errands. It can be a special activity you have planned. It can be as simple or elaborate as you want. (I think a mixture of simple and elaborate is nice, just to shake things up. But that´s just me.)

When we spend time with each child, we send them the message that they are important, and we contribute to a healthy self esteem. We also lay a groundwork for moments that our children will remember long after we are gone.

30 Days to Being a Purposeful Mommy, Day 6

Day 6: Get Out! (Outdoors, that is!)

Do you ever have those days wher eyou are pretty sure you´re going to kill someone, anyone, just because you are simply going out of your mind? I´ll be honest. I have those days sometimes.

The diagnosis? Being locked in your house with your kids all day, every day, will lead to a family-wide epidemic of insanity.

You´re not a bad mom. You just need some fresh air and sunshine. And so do your kids!

As long as the weather holds up, I try to get outside with my little one every day. Some days we go to the park. Some days we go for a walk. Some days we go to the store. But we get out of the house.

Not only will getting out the house help your mood, it will help your child´s mood. God did not create us to be indoors all day long. He also didn´t create us to go crazy.

It´s nice to mix things up. Sometimes you can do fun, organized activities with your kids outside. Sometimes you can all go for a walk or bike ride. Sometimes you can just let your kids use their imaginations while you read a book. The important thing is to get outdoors.

I said I try to get out every day, but sometimes it doesn´t pan out. However, when we´re only one hour into the day and I´m ready to pull my hair out, there is no cure like the outdoors. I get shoes on my feet and hers, I get a jacket on both of us, and we are outta here! The best part is that your kids will think it´s the best idea ever! They get out all of the cooped up energy they have, and come home much more well-behaved (and probably sleepy).

When you´re having one of those days, just remember my advice and let nature work its magic on your family!

30 Days to Being a Purposeful Mommy, Day 5

Day 5: Pick Your Battles, Set Limits, Say No

Have you ever heard the advice that says we should try to create a ¨yes¨ environment for our kids? Basically, the idea is that we surround young children with safe environments where there are few opportunities to get in to trouble. This way we won´t have to spend all day saying ¨no¨, which is frustrating both for us and for our children.

I think even when you follow this advice, kids are kids, and you´re going to have to set limits and say ¨no¨, no matter how old they are. Kids, like adults, are sinful, and need guidance and discipline in order to learn what is right and wrong.

That´s not to say that I don´t agree with the advice above. I do. Even Scripture says that we should not wear our children out by excessive discipline, etc. Not to mention that when we are saying ¨no¨ all day, we wear ourselves out, and nobody is happy.

We have to learn as parents to pick our battles. Is it really a big deal if the toddler wants to rearrange all of the DVDs? (A favorite activity of my one-year-old) Are you really going to be able to teach a one-year-old not to pick her nose? (Not that mine does that...) And of course, your battles will vary by the ages and number of children that you have.

When we pick our battles, we avoid saying ¨no¨ every five seconds. And when we do that, our children learn that no means no, because we don´t overuse it. Especially when we back up that ¨no¨ with the appropriate action, like distracting a baby, removing a toddler from the situation they got themselves into, disciplining an older child, etc.

As your child grows, you will have opportunities to set limits with them on an intellectual and spiritual level. As they understand more abtract concepts, you will be able to explain your ¨no¨, and I think that is really important. My toddler doesn´t understand many of these concepts, but at least I can explain that we don´t do this or that because it isn´t nice. We worked hard to get her to understand the word ¨nice¨, and now that she does, I can factor that in to my no. Older children can understand when something hurts mommy´s feelings, or when God doesn´t like certain behaviors. The more our children grow, and the more purposeful we are about the limits we set, the more they will be able to understand and grow as people.

We all have different philosophies about discipline, but I think we can all agree that none of us wants to discipline our child for no reason. However, a lot of times we ourselves create situations where we set our children up for failure.

An example: Yesterday we were eating lunch. Bella was doing great when Jairo decided to give her some jello. Bella loves jello, and I had made some for ¨dessert¨. Well, once she had a taste of the jello, do you think she wanted to finish her lunch? No way. (She did finish, though, because this is a battle I consider worth fighting.) When Jairo got frustrated with her, I said, this is not her fault, it´s ours. Because it was true. We set her up to fail.

And that´s where that advice about a ¨yes¨ environment comes in. I can´t hand my children temptation and then be upset when they fail. I need to teach them how to be strong against temptation when it arises, not tempt them myself.

The job of forming our children´s character will require of us that we set limits and say ¨no¨. It will require discipline. It will require choosing our battle and teaching our kids how to know what things are eternally important. It will also require vigilance on our part, to not place our children in situations where they are doomed to fail. None of us enjoys disciplining our children in any way. It´s not something we should enjoy. But it is something we should give high importance to, because it is one very effective way that our children will learn how to be the people they need to be. The important thing, as a purposeful mommy, is to use discipline that is also purposeful.

30 Days to Being a Purposeful Mommy, Day 4

Day 4: Be a Role Model

I think one of the hardest jobs in parenting is becoming a role model. Before we were parents, we might not have had to worry too much about days when we woke up on the wrong side of the bed, or were just in a funk for no reason. But, once we have children, every word, every action, every attitude is observed and learned by our little ones. It´s not enough just to hope and pray that our children become better people than us. We ourselves have to become the kind of people we want our children to be. We can´t ¨instruct them in the way they should go¨ unless we are already on that path. Otherwise it becomes hypocrisy.

Do you say ¨please¨ and ¨thank you¨ to your children? To your spouse? Do you eat your vegetables? Are you compassionate and considerate? Every day I personally see certain things in myself that I want to change so that I can be a better person for my children (current and future). I think when we have this mindset, motherhood becomes the best test of character and integrity that we could ever find.

Thankfully, this doesn´t mean we have to be perfect. When our good (yet imperfect) example is combined with seeking after God and praying fervently for our children, God will fill in the blanks. Even our failures are examples to our children in things like asking forgiveness and making restitution.

The easiest place to start is looking for opportunities to model good social behavior (please, thank you, excuse me, etc). There are hundreds of opportunities like these every day. (Right now we are learning ¨be nice¨ and ¨don´t hit!!!¨) But at the same time, we don´t just want polite children. We want children who are godly, emotionally secure, intelligent, etc. That´s where God will really start to take us apart and refine us.

Do your children see you reading the Word and spending time in prayer each day? The easiest way to start is with your kids. Just grab them, sit them down and spend 15 or 20 minutes reading a Bible story, talking about it and praying. My little one is one, so our time with God is simple and short, but it´s there. I don´t want her to remember a time when she didn´t hear God´s Word at home, where she didn´t pray, where she didn´t go to church, etc. Making time for myself to get away with God was a challenge for me. Good moments are times when our children are napping, at school or sleeping for the night. Even in those moments you will have many reasons not to spend time with God. But there also many reasons to be purposeful about that time and get it done. The most important reason, as a mother, is that without God we will never become the people we need to be in order to prepare our children.

A mother´s work is never finished, and the truth is that as a purposeful mother, we have to bring every word, every thought, every action, every attitude under Christ´s power. Honestly, this might be the single most important difference between merely having kids and being purposeful parents. It´s a high calling, with great rewards, both here on earth and in the next life.

I encourage you (and myself) to begin this and every day with prayer. Ask God to help you specifically in the areas where you are most likely to set a bad example normally. (Impatience, selfishness, lack of compassion, bad attitude, lack of gratitude, and the list goes on...) And when you fail, which you will sometimes, look at it as an opportunity to teach your children how to make ammends.

Let´s give our children a good example at home, so that while they still want to be like us, we will want them to be like us, too.

30 Days to Being a Purposeful Mommy, Day 3

Day 3: Be Available.

This is an interesting truth, but I know it is, in fact, true, because I have put it into practice with my daughter: When you are least available, your children will need you the most. Have you noticed this? You have a deadline, you need to clean the house before your inlaws come, you are going to burn dinner if you don´t get to the kitchen RIGHT NOW. And in that moment, your child needs you. RIGHT NOW!

So, what is the solution?

Well, first of all, it´s a good idea to not let things get to that point of urgency. But, life happens. So, the next best thing is to never be unavailble. I know that sounds impossible, but I´ll give you an example:

I´m at the computer, blogging. :) Out of the corner of my eye, I see little legs heading in my direction. I stop what I´m doing, I get up, I play with her for literally two seconds, and then I sit back down at the computer. More often than not, that´s all it takes. She´s off to play with her toys, feeling secure and loved, and I can finish my blog.

One more thing, though. I read in a Christian book once, and I fully agree, that children are never interrumptions. They are priority number one, after the husband. And the husband isn´t home all day, so most of the time they are priority number one. Which means that I can´t spend all day blogging. Or whatever it is I do with my time. My kids need one-on-one with me, as well as individual time to themselves, and this varies by age, too. So there has to be a balance.

My rule of thumb is this: If my daughter is especially clingy, that tells me that I am probably being a little too self-absorbed, and she needs some more mommy time. Remember that it´s a blessing that our children want to be with us! It won´t always be this way, so let´s soak it up. After all, blogging, dinner and the in-laws can take a number. It´s play time!

30 Days to Being a Purposeful Mommy, Day 2

Day 2: Get a Routine Going

There are lots of different styles of parenting, right from day one. There are baby-led parents, cry-it-out parents, and lots of mixtures of the two. We all feel strongly about our own method, but the truth is, your parenting philosophy isn´t that important for what we are talking about today. Even baby-led parents can settle into a routine. (If you don´t believe me, ask Bella!)

Whether you have been putting your child on a sleeping/eating schedule since day on or if you have been watching for your child´s cues to set the schedule, we have to first realize that schedule and routine are not the same thing.

Sit down while your little one is sleeping and scratch out a routine. Here´s a small part of ours, so you can see what I mean:

Bella wakes up. (Nurse/cuddle/pray, change diaper, wash faces (mine and hers), brush teeth (mine and hers), put on music)

Breakfast (see meal plan)

Wash dishes

My quiet time (if Jairo is up, he watches Bella. If not, it takes longer!)

Stuctured play in Bella´s room (see activities schedule)

Daily chores (Bella tags along, I encourage her individual play)

Bella´s quiet time (read a Bible story, sing a song, pray, ¨memorize¨ a Bible verse for the week)

Snack and drink for Bella, I start lunch

Change diaper (This is varies, of course!), Go for a walk or do rainy day activity

Naptime for Bella, she gets a drink and a song before I put her to sleep.


This schedule is until about 11am. That´s not even half of our day! I just didn´t want to bore you with all the details! The idea is that by making a routine I am deliberate about the things we do each day. Before I had a routine I often missed out on scheduled play for Bella, my own time with God and other things. It´s about living every day deliberately.

Bella has a much better day when we establish and follow a routine. And from all the studies I´ve read, it seems that most kids thrive from having a sense of knowing what to expect. Your routine will be different, and it will reflect your own schedule, your child´s schedule and your values and parenting philosophy. The important thing is that it works for your family. Do you work during the day? Then your routine will start in the morning and then pick up when you pick up your little one/s from daycare. I think in that situation a routine is even more important, because it ensures that you will have quality time with your chilren.

The way we spend our time teaches our children about our priorities. If they don´t get their own time each day (just like our husband needs his time and God definitely deserves His time!) they begin to understand that they are not a priority for us. I challenge you today to take a few minutes and draw up a routine. Start with the parts of your day that are unmovable, then the things that work best for you, and then a few new ideas. Try it tomorrow. Make changes until it works wonderfully and it´s something you can settle into.

And one more note. You are not a slave to the routine. If one day you need to shake things up, that´s ok! Your routine is a guide to having a productive and joyful day. Try to keep as much of your routine in tact, especially when traveling, etc. But in the end, this is just one more tool to help you become a more purposeful mommy, from one growing mommy to another!

30 Days to Being a Purposeful Mommy, Day 1

Day 1: Appreciate -- Don´t Anticipate!

One thing that is really easy to do when you have children is to anticipate. For example, if Bella wakes up after a ten minute nap and no longer wants to sleep, my immediate thought is, ¨Oh, man! This day is going to be so long now!¨

We develop these ideas based on past experience: Bella took a short nap, Bella was cranky all day, I almost went crazy and was counting down the minutes until her bedtime. It happens a few times and it becomes a mental rule. So when the same situation arises, it´s only natural to anticipate the same outcome.

The problem is that people are not science experiments or math problems. People are people, even tiny toddler people. We all react differently to our circumstances based on other things going on in our lives, such as health, mood, state of mind, the quality of our day so far, etc.

But here is the worst part about anticipating: When you anticipate something like a child´s bad mood, clinginess and tantrums, you actually create an atmosphere where those things are more likely to happen. Children are like sponges that soak up everything around them, including your mood.

This is what that would look like: Bella no longer wants to sleep. I feel stressed because I anticipate the kind of day that will follow this event. I greet Bella with a stressed attitude, and she can tell just by looking at me that something is wrong. As a result, she feels insecure and begins to get clingy and has a bad mood.

Interesting, right?

So here´s a better option, although it is also challenging! Whatever your trigger is (a short naptime, separation anxiety, an illness...WHATEVER), you have to try to unlearn your anticipation and try to live in the moment. It´s hard, but the more you do it, the more you form a new habit.

Here´s my new habit (usually!!): Bella is done sleeping after ten minutes. I hear her stirring in the next room or see her head peak out the door. I look at her and give her a BIG smile. I say, ¨Hi, Bella! Are you all done sleeping? Did you have a good nap?¨ and I pick her up. I try to get her to sleep again, but if she doesn´t, I don´t sweat it. I just grab her and play with her until she´s ready to be on her own. That is what being in the moment looks like for me, but your situation will be unique to you and you child/ren.

The most important thing is that we teach our children by our example how to have a brave face for adversity, and more than anything else, that no situation will ever change our love for them. It´s like the old saying, ¨If momma ain´t happy, ain´t nobody happy!¨ You, as the mommy, really do set the mood for your home.

That being said, we all fall short at times. Even though my daughter is only 1, I make sure to apologize to her when I notice bad attitudes creeping in. It´s another good example to her, and it helps me reframe my mindset to be more cheerful and positive.

Whatever your trigger or triggers, try to take a moment and stop anticipating. Instead, appreciate your child for who he or she is, and take an opportunity to share love. They won´t be little forever, let´s do our best to enjoy them! (Bad mood and all!)

30 Days to Being a Purposeful Mommy

I have seen some blogs out there that do series such as ¨31 Days to a Cleaner House¨ or ¨31 Days to Better Pictures¨, etc. I´m not affiliated with those blogs at all, but I liked the idea, so I am going to make my own series! Hurray!

I decided on the topic ¨30 Days to Being a Purposeful Mommy¨ for September because it´s a topic that I have learned a lot about and continue to learn a lot about. I think all mommies need some encouragement, and hopefully September will be an encouraging month for all you mommies that read this blog!

Pin It

Here are the links to each day:

Day 1: Appreciate--Don´t Anticipate!

Day 2: Get a Routine Going

Day 3: Be Available

Day 4: Be a Role Model

Day 5: Pick your Battles, Set Limits, Say ¨No¨

Day 6: Get Out! (Outdoors, that is!)

Day 7: Give each Child some One-on-One

Day 8: Teach your Child to Love God

Day 9: Cut Yourself some Slack

Day 10: Get Excited! (About dandelions, feathers, doggies...)

Day 11: Pray, Pray and Pray some More

Day 12: Connect!

Day 13: Annoy your Kids

Day 14: Stop Comparing

Day 15: Have some Tricks up your Sleeve

Day 16: Take some time for YOU

Day 17: Stay in the Word

Day 18: Paint your Nails

Day 19: Take a Nap

Day 20: Take Time to be Proud of your Kids

Day 21: Teach your Kids Compassion and Kindness

Day 22: Don´t Expect a Thank You

Day 23: Say ¨I Love You¨

Day 24: Go Get some Lovin´!

Day 25: Smile!

Day 26: Form Family Traditions

Day 27: Model Communication

Day 28: Teach your Kids the Value of Hard Work

Day 29: Remember Why you Do what you Do!

Day 30: Be the Person you Want your Kids to Become

Coffee Day, Take Two

So today the planets aligned and everything worked out for me to be able to have a coffee day! Finally! I first dropped my mother-in-law off at the bus terminal, stayed with her until her bus arrived, and then headed off to the mall.

At first I was considering getting a smoothie, but I decided that I needed the heart pounding, capillary dialating, ecuadorian grown coffee in my veins if I was going to get through the week. So I headed off to my preferred frappuccino place, Sweet & Coffee, and said, ¨One mocha frappuccino, please!¨, my mouth watering with anticipation (except I said it in Spanish). The guys behind the counter made that face. That face people make when they are about to shatter your dream to pieces and are not sure how to phrase it so as not to start a shouting match with the caffiene-starved mother of a toddler who has exactly one hour to herself a week. You know that face? Then he found the right words. ¨We only have hot drinks right now.¨ And just like that, my dream was gone.

Then I remembered that there is a Juan Valdez on the second floor of the mall, and I was off! I thought it might be too expensive, but I found a comparable frappuccino-esque drink at about the same price, so I went for it. One sip and I knew I had made the right choice. Although Jual Valdez is Colombian coffee. Not Ecuadorian. But I´m over it.

I read a few chapters of two books I took along, stopped in a few stores to get some information, bought some soy bean oil and headed home. I ended up having to walk a long way home until a bus FINALLY came by, and by then I needed another coffee. Obviously we are still working out the logistics of coffee day.

On a more serious note, though, as I was on the Trole (trolley) from the bus terminal to the mall, something happened that made me sad. A blind woman got on the trole to beg for money, which is pretty common in Ecuador, so I got some money out of my purse, ready to hand to her as she walked by. She was at the front of the bus, and the troles are really long, so I was just kind of waiting for her to get there and thinking about something or another. As she passed I put the money in her hand and she thanked me, and I was about to go back to my thoughts when I saw her getting off the trole. She was getting off with her son, a boy of maybe 5 or 6 years, who could see. He was apparently escorting her as she begged for money.

As a mother, seeing this hurt me deeply for a few reasons. First, I thought that I really wished I had given her more money. It might sound weird, but seeing that she was a mom, and imagining how, in this culture, she could provide for her son and herself with no job, I wished I could have done more. Then I thought that I wished I had gotten off the trole to talk to her. The I wondered how long she had been blind. Had she always been blind? Had she ever seen her son´s face? Had she ever looked at him as she held him in her arms and seen him looking up her, needing her and loving her as only our babies can do? I started getting teary-eyed on the bus. Then I pulled it together. A gringa calls enough attention to herself without blubbering like a baby on the bus for no apparent reason.

The last thing I thought about as I reflected was how humiliating it must be to have to beg strangers for money in front of your children. In Ecuador, and in most countries, people with conditions like hers have no opportunities for work besides begging. They are looked down upon by others, as though their physical condition had something to do with their worth as a person. And people feel good about themselves because they toss a few cents in the hands of the needy, while they never stop and consider that the ¨needy¨ are people. They are someone´s daughter or son, sister or brother, mother or father. And tomorrow any one of us could become ¨one of them¨ because of some small twist of fate.

And I guess I lied, because that wasn´t the very last thing I thought. The very last thing I thought was this: I wish I would have talked to her about Jesus. I wish that would have been my first thought. And I´m a missionary for crying out loud! I hope she´s around next coffee day, or any day. And I hope I´m not too busy thinking about one thing or another to see supernatural opportunities in everday experiences.

I don´t want to end on a low note, though, so I will end with this: I was standing in the trole on the way home, and I was thinking that it´s nice sometimes to be just another face in the crowd, another commuter going about his or her day, another anonymous blah, blah, blah...you get it. Anyway, all of the sudden I had this memory of a friend of mine who lived in Quito for a few months falling flat on her butt in the trole, and I struggled not to burst out laughing (which would be just as bad as bursting our in tears). Probably not funny to you. I guess you had to be there. Goodnight!

Coffee Day

I mentioned in my last post that yesterday was to be my first weekly coffee day. Well, I got some kind of 24 hour bug, and spent most of the day in bed. The great thing was, though, that I spent most of the day in bed!

Normally when I´m sick I still do everything I must do because there is no one I can call to help out. Jairo is usually too busy, and that´s the end of my list of helpful people who live close enough to actually help!

Well, yesterday was a miracle. Jairo took Bella with him to pay some bills, giving me a chance to sleep for a couple of extra hours. I felt like a new woman when he and Bella arrived back at home. The best part of all, though, was that when they returned they brought me a frappuccino! So I got my first coffee day after all.

Hopefully next Monday will be a normal coffee day, but it was really nice of Jairo to give me my very own, personal, at home coffee day, don´t you think?

It totally made it easier to deal with the people from church who randomly stopped by my house...¨Would you mind teaching my son English for a few hours??¨ No, of course not, just let me hack up this lung and we will be good to go...sigh.

But alas, nothing was able to ruin my coffee day! It was a wonderful day! All thanks to my wonderful husband, who was determined to give me what I had been so looking forward to!

Sweet Victory!

I have been sitting here at my computer for two hours trying to send a file. It is an important file, and I´m already really behind schedule in sending it. One time it almost sent, but then Bella woke up and by the time I got back to the computer the connection timed out. I was just about to call it quits and throw my computer against a wall when, miracle of miracles, the file loaded! I could have cried I was so excited. (That might be the hormones, though.)

I´m about to go to bed and join my sleeping angels (big and small) in the land of sueños, but I felt like it was time the world hear my thoughts again. After all, what would you all do without me?? ha.

Bella and I both have some kind of cold, so it has been a long day (made longer by my stupid, stupid email provider-no, I will NOT like you on facebook!), and I´m looking forward to a few short hours of sleep before we do it all over again. I am also excited, however, because tomorrow is my first weekly coffee day! Jairo has agreed to take Bella once a week for 2 hours or so while I go get a frappuccino and read a book. All by myself. Yes, alone. Are you as astonished by this idea as I am? A moment where I am neither wife nor mother. Although I will probably be thinking about Bella and whether or not Jairo got her to take her nap, and if I remembered to turn on the washing machine before I left...But still! I think it will be fun! So much so that I don´t care if I have to take a whole roll of toilet paper with me to the mall for this runny nose.

I´ll let you know how it goes.

I´m working on a whole new schedule for our home which I think will be better than our previous schedule, which could more exactly be defined as a ¨good effort¨, which all over-acheivers know to mean ¨yeah, not so much.¨ I got the meal plan done which was a huge undertaking. I was underwhelmed by meal plans I found online that include only dinner. I planned for three meals and two snacks, every day, so it was a lot of thinking. But now that it´s finished I LOVE IT! It takes so much thinking out of the mealtime process. So, my goal is to get to that point with the rest of the daily ruitine, so it just flows without a lot of thinking. The problem is that after the meal plan, I was so sick of planning things that I have been putting off getting back into it, even though I know it will help.

But you don´t care about that, right? So, on to tales of our lives. The other day Bella Boo had her first bloody fall. It sounds worse than it was, although that fact did not stop my heart from jumping into my throat and staying there for the whole day and night. She was walking and slipped, hitting her lower lip on the edge of the furniture. She has a perfect imprint of her two front teeth on the inside of her bottom lip. Luckily, Jairo was in the bathroom when it happened and by the time he came out to see what the crying was about I had cleaned up most of the blood. (He´s incredibly squeemish). Finally having a use for Bella´s boo-boo bunny, I went to retrieve it from the freezer, only to find it frozen to the freezer. OF COURSE. So I gave her a bag of frozen peas to suck on while Jairo went to the store to buy her a popsicle. In over-all crisis management I would give myself an A-, if only for that brain-dead minute where I stood there holding Bella thinking, ¨What was it that you´re supposed to do with blood?!¨ But it´s healing nicely now, and Bella herself was laughing with us about 10 minutes after it happened. Oh, the magic of icecream! (More proof that she is, in fact, her mother´s daughter). I, however, still have some high blood pressure every time I think about it.

On a happier note, Bella is now trying to talk more. She already knew a few words, but she added ¨all done¨, ¨no¨ (GREAT.), and ¨chau¨ to her vocabulary. (Chau is bye in Spanish. You probably knew that.) She´s also starting to love on her stuffed animals, which she used to just throw away every time I gave them to her. So, progress. It´s amazing how much there is to learn when you´re just a tot! And even so, it seems she learns it all so quickly, without any discouragement that there is still so much more to go.

In all, I think if you live with a toddler and you don´t find a reason every day to laugh, cry, scream (on the inside), marvel, and kiss, kiss, kiss, then you´re missing something. Because all of those opportunities are there, and you don´t have to look to hard to find them. And you should grab onto them, and live life with that same intensity that your toddler does (tempered with some wisdom and maturity). You might just learn something. I know I do, every day. And tomorrow morning I am sure it will be an extra effort to master a Bella classic: waking up with a smile!

Alright, I know I was supposed to be blogging...

Sorry to all of my faithful followers out there...all four of you. I keep meaning to blog, but I just never sit down and do it. But today I was thinking that if I have 15 minutes to play games on facebook (don´t judge me!) then I probably have time to blog.

Actually, in order to write this particular entry, I had to test my skills at acrobatics to climb out of bed after nursing Bella. I had to maneuver myself out from under my daughter and then do a sort of twisty climb to get over Jairo, while avoiding that plastic grocery bag on the floor which could potentially make noise, which would mean GAME OVER.

I originally got back up to clean the stove, but since it is a chore I hate with my whole being, I thought blogging sounded like more fun. Aren´t you glad?

As I listened to my husband snoring and as I watched my beautiful baby girl sleep sprawled out on the bed (leaving about 3 inches for my acrobatics) I tried to remember what sleep was like. You know, real sleep. Like, when you go to bed just because you´re tired and you wake up when you´re all done sleeping and super refreshed? I have a vague recollection of being one of those blessed people who sleep, but it seems like such a long time ago.

Not that I´m complaining. They say Thomas Edison only slept four hours a night. And he got quite a lot done in a day. Also, when he died, the autopsy found that he had died of not one but four terminal illnesses. Hmm. He was also known to be cranky, something we have in common. Now if only I could invent something as genious as a lightbulb, everyone would forgive the crankiness and think I was awesome.

Nighttime hours are great when you´re a mom because there exist things in these hours that do not exist in the daytime. Things like quiet, stillness, peace, focus, and the ability to accomplish things that you really want to accomplish and which have nothing to do with diapers, meals, and just taking care of everyone else. Don´t get me wrong, I love to take care of my family. But you have to find some time for yourself. The best part is that while I do feel slightly more exhausted than if I get more sleep (but once you´re exhausted, what´s a little more?), I don´t feel like I´m missing out on those special family moments. And I don´t feel like anyone is really missing me. Except for the occasional cry from Bella, or, now that she is bigger, the occasional peeping out of her tiny face from behind the bedroom door, with a kind of drunk-looking expression that says, ¨What the heck are you doing??¨ I love those moments! And they are a reminder that a mother´s work truly is never done. You don´t see her poking her head out to look for daddy. So that´s kind of nice.

The best part of motherhood are the rewards that are so completely unexpected. Like moments where your baby turns the music on your cell phone and starts dancing, and you just can´t help but laugh. Or when she puts a raisin in the giant straw and grins as though she has really accomplished something fantastic. Not to mention the spontaneous kisses and hugs, the smiles shot at you from across the room or when you realize that in her constant babbling she is talking to her toys about you (MAMA! MAMA!).

And being a stay at home mom has allowed us to create a special little world just for our family, and especially for mommy and baby. It´s nice to feel like you have all you really need, without so much as stepping out your front door. (Although the occasional frappuccino is nice.) I´m not sure I ever felt that way as a grown up (if I really am a grown up) until I was a mother.

Those are my thoughts for now. Thanks for reading, millions of devoted fans. :) But, alas, if I don´t sleep soon, my family will not be grateful for my Edisonian crankiness. And Bella´s one year pictures are tomorrow morning! (Only 2 months late!) And since there will be some family pictures, I really must get some beauty sleep. Although at this point, I will settle for some not-ugly sleep.