Week 66: Fifteen Months Married (Week 35 of pregnancy)

We actually had our fifteen month anniversary last week, but we celebrated it today. We always like to do something special every 24th, even if it´s just something small like getting ice cream. This month we decided in advance that we were going to get a movie to watch at home and make fried fish with rice and patacones (fried plantains). That´s why we waited until today to celebrate, in order to have enough time.

I was thinking today about the beauty of living every day life with someone that you love. I was also thinking about the importance of laughter as an ingredient in that daily life. Lately I have noticed that Jairo and I have spent a lot of our time making each other laugh, and I think there is a direct correlation between that and how nice our marriage has been lately. Of course, there are always ups and downs, but I feel like lately we have been doing really well. It´s surprising, too, because our stress level is really high these days. My pregnancy is quickly approaching its big day, and that brings with it lots of stress as we try to get ready for baby, and getting ready involves so much more than just shopping! There are so many emotional aspects, for example. And in my case, the hormones currently surging through my body at record levels only add to the stress of that preparation as worries often turn in to tears. That, in turn, adds to Jairo´s stress level, while he is also dealing with all of those outside stressors of the ministry and of providing for his family.

Still, with all those things to stress about, when we are together, there is calm and genuine happiness that in other, less stressful times was not present. I think the key is laughter. Of course, there are many other important ingredients. But I think when you realize that your spouse is your teammate, and you are both trying to get to the same place in life, that´s a good common ground to let some things slide and just be silly once in a while.

I think it´s also good to tell each other once in a while why you appreciate one another. The other day Jairo and I were talking and I was expressing my feelings that being a wife, and soon a mother, is great, but sometimes has me feeling like I am on the sidelines while Jairo gets all of the action, so to speak. Jairo seemed genuinely surprised by this and started telling me how important what I do as a wife is for him to be able to minister. He told me, ¨I could not do anything that I do now if it weren´t for what you do here in our home and what you do to help me.¨ I replied that of course he could, to which he responded, ¨No, really, I couldn´t do any of it.¨ He went on to list all of the things I do for him on a daily basis and their importance to him, which I had never even begun to think of as important until now. So my point is that it doesn´t hurt to share those things once in a while, because we never really know what we mean to others if they don´t express that to us.

But to be honest, I am really thinking that laughter is the key ingredient to all of this. I have mentioned before that one thing I really love about Jairo is that he will do anything, and I mean anything, to make me laugh when I am sad. His specialty in my saddest moments when nothing else works is an impression of Steve Erkel. It gets me every time. On the other hand, when I want to make him laugh I do all kinds of crazy dances, which always makes him laugh, no matter what. It has become about 100 times more effective since my belly became a planet and I look that much more ridiculous. We love to laugh with each other and at each other, and I think that those moments are what make the hard times worth putting up with.

Although a close second would be this: Today after our celebration we were both on our respective computers doing our respective work and feeling contented to be close together, working in silence. He closed his computer, signaling that it was about time for him to get ready for church, and so I left what I was doing and we just laid there together for a minute and cuddled, and I thought, this right here is exactly why I got married. Two minutes of holding the whole world in your arms and none of the other silly things in life seem to have much significance.

Here´s to fifteen months of learning to laugh and learning to appreciate the simple moments in life! Soon we will be learning all over again when our little one comes...I have a feeling that those first few months are going to require even more sense of humor!