My dad went home this week, but before he did we got to see more of my favorite thing: our baby! This time it wasn´t just a heartbeat...we had our very first ultrasound.
The baby was not at all inclined to let us see if it is a boy or a girl. In fact, during the ultrasound it crossed its little legs, and no matter how the doctor tried to move the baby around, nothing worked. But we did get to see our baby, which was more than enough. The doctor even showed us the baby´s little hands and feet, and counted the fingers and toes...everything was perfect.
If hearing the heartbeat was a confirmation of pregnancy, seeing the ultrasound was so much beyond that. First of all it was a relief to know that everything is developing perfectly and we have a healthy little baby, who is exactly the right size. It was amazing to see that little heart pumping away, and I tried to imagine what it would look like if I could see inside for real and not just in black and white 2D. Again it amazed me to think that I have done absolutely nothing for this baby to develop, yet there it is, developing perfectly, hitting every milestone right on target.
It might sound weird, but it was really neat to see the spine. It was neat because it´s the one thing on the ultrasound that you see and you know without a doubt what it is. Every other part you think to yourself, I think that´s a...until the doctor tells you for sure. To think that those little parts will keep growing, and soon enough I will be holding them and kissing them!
I´ve been able to feel the baby move for a long time now, but the more baby grows the more I can feel (which is sometimes not a good thing!), and that combined with seeing the baby on the ultrasound is enough to make you feel something special for this little creature growing inside of you. At this point I think the maternal bond is more of an instinctual thing, a desire to protect the baby and a hope that everything will be fine. I think once the baby is born and we get to know each other, that relationship will probably continue to mature and grow during his or her whole life. To think that I could feel more love for this baby than I do right now seems almost impossible, but I´m pretty convinced that that´s the way it will be. I can´t wait to get to know this little person, to see his or her face, and to know that unlike all those other adorable babies out there, this baby has a quality that none of those have...this baby is ours!
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