Week 35: Eight months married (pregnancy week 4)

I think this is one of those anniversaries that I will remember clearly for a long time. I was deperately hoping that I was not wrong about being pregnant, because otherwise I had no way to explain how sick I was feeling and how much I really had to eat Encebollado, an Ecuadorian fish soup. I could not eat anything else.

Jairo had originally planned to take me out for pizza, so when I met him at the bus stop and announced we were going to the seafood restaurant he was surprised. Pleasantly, I think, because encebollado only costs $1.50.

What I remember clearly was the feeling that we were walking around with this huge scandalous secret. We smiled stupidly at each other throughout the meal and talked about how nice it would be if it were true...and then reminding each other not to get too excited until we had the pregnancy test under our belts.

Eight months of marriage and now, quite possibly, a baby. It was a romantic idea for now, nothing more, because there was no substantial proof. My symptoms could be some kind of deadly South American disease, too. Less romantic, but possible all the same. So for now we were just basking in the possibility of a baby with no reason to feel fear or nervousness or even responsibility. We were just dreaming for now.

I like to remember this day because before the trials of pregnancy that came later, I remember how extremely happy we were. Not just happy to maybe be pregnant, but happy together. Newlyweds in general have to wait it out for a while before they really learn how to live together and how to be married. We were coming to a point where, although far from perfect, happiness was an attainable daily goal. I like knowing that that is the atmosphere in which we conceived a child, being happy and in love and wanting to share that love with another little person, who would become an extension of us, of our happiness and love. This is the day I remember when the pregnancy hormones strike, and I remind myself that before pregnancy when my happiness did not depend on cravings and sleep but rather on life itself, I was happy. We were happy. And underneath the hormonal mood swings and the pregnancy-induced sicknesses and pains, we still are that happy couple, getting ready to welcome our very own baby into the world.