I don´t know if this is true of all or many pregnant women, but lately I have personally found that I have two instincts warring inside of me all day long. First, there is the nesting instinct. (Jairo loves to tell me I´m nesting, mostly because he loves to laugh at the idea of me making a nest for our new baby.) This instinct is powerful, and if ignored leads to extreme restlessness. It is, of course, the so-called ¨burst of energy¨ in the weeks before labor that prompts a woman to do things ranging from normal to insane in order to get ready for baby. Now, what alphabetizing the contents of the fridge or sweeping ten times a day has to do with preparation for a baby, I have no idea, but the instinct is there nonetheless. Apparently this instinct exists in all female mammals. For example, a female rabbit will tear out her own fur in order to line a nest for her little ones before they are born. I have not yet torn out my hair for nest-making purposes, although for other reasons I am tempted once in a while. But that´s another story.
The other instinct, however, is that of self-preservation. This is the instinct that tells you to just take it easy. It´s the one screaming at you that nine months pregnant is not the time to be on your hands and knees scrubbing the floor with a toothbrush. It´s that little voice that says, ¨Why in the world did you think you could climb up onto a chair and reach that box at the very top of the closet to organize it at 6am??¨ Interestingly enough, this particular little voice sounds a lot like my husband. Not to mention all of the literal voices telling you, ¨Get some rest! Save your energy for the big day!¨ etc. I like how people think that energy is something you can save up, like there is some kind of bank somewhere that is going to give me dividends if I invest my energy for one month leading up to labor. If that really worked, women would do exactly that...they would do nothing but stay in bed for a month and then on the day of labor they would push that baby out so fast with the saved up energy and interest that labor would be a walk in the park.
Still, the self-preservation instinct is also a motherly instinct, because as a pregnant woman you become more and more aware that taking care of a child begins long before birth. Poor choices in pregnancy can lead to problems for mom and baby, so it does pay to be prudent.
Well, obviously, these two instincts are often in direct contradiction of each other, which makes for a confused mommy-to-be. And believe me, what with the surging hormones and the forgetfullness, mommy was already confused. So what is a pregnant girl to do?
Today, for example, I have a whole list of things I want to accomplish. The majority of them are not baby related at all, mostly because everything that I can do for now has been done a hundred times. I don´t know how else I can organize the baby clothes, or how many times I can take out the stroller and practice folding, unfolding, etc. My doctor has no desire to see me until week 37, so I don´t have much hope on the horizon for new baby-related activities at least until then.
One of the things on my list is to work on Jairo´s birthday present. The project itself is not difficult, but I know better than to trust my fluctuating energy levels, so I am trying to do it little by little. Jairo left early this morning, so my big plan today was to get up when he left and start in on the project right away. Well, I did get up when he left, thanks in large part to the construction my neighbors have going on which apparently involves a lot of hammers, but I did not work on the gift. I ate, first of all, because there was just no avoiding that. These days I am hungry even when I´m full, so eating small meals and snacks all day long is pretty much a custom around here. (In my defense, most of these foods are fruits and veggies, since I try not to keep junk food in the house...out of sight, out of mind!) Well, I ate, and I fed the rabbits, since I thought it only fair that we all eat together. Then, since I was still so tired that I couldn´t see straight, I came back to bed, but thanks to the neighbors could not sleep. I then decided to check my email and was delighted to see that several friends had written me, which is always a nice pick-me-up when one lives on another continent. So I spent some time replying to them and then decided that I would write this blog entry. Not exactly the productive morning I had planned, but my self-preservation instinct is basking in the glory of its victory.
So, now I am faced with the following options: I can work on the project in the two hours or so that I have left until my husband comes home, I can do all of the other things on my list until my husband comes home, or I can sleep...the hammering seems to have died down for the time being. I´m really leaning towards sleeping. (Listen to the sound of cheering coming from the self-preservation crowd!) I mean, you never know...maybe I will earn some kind of interest on resting...It can´t hurt to try, right?
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Week 66: Fifteen Months Married (Week 35 of pregnancy)
We actually had our fifteen month anniversary last week, but we celebrated it today. We always like to do something special every 24th, even if it´s just something small like getting ice cream. This month we decided in advance that we were going to get a movie to watch at home and make fried fish with rice and patacones (fried plantains). That´s why we waited until today to celebrate, in order to have enough time.
I was thinking today about the beauty of living every day life with someone that you love. I was also thinking about the importance of laughter as an ingredient in that daily life. Lately I have noticed that Jairo and I have spent a lot of our time making each other laugh, and I think there is a direct correlation between that and how nice our marriage has been lately. Of course, there are always ups and downs, but I feel like lately we have been doing really well. It´s surprising, too, because our stress level is really high these days. My pregnancy is quickly approaching its big day, and that brings with it lots of stress as we try to get ready for baby, and getting ready involves so much more than just shopping! There are so many emotional aspects, for example. And in my case, the hormones currently surging through my body at record levels only add to the stress of that preparation as worries often turn in to tears. That, in turn, adds to Jairo´s stress level, while he is also dealing with all of those outside stressors of the ministry and of providing for his family.
Still, with all those things to stress about, when we are together, there is calm and genuine happiness that in other, less stressful times was not present. I think the key is laughter. Of course, there are many other important ingredients. But I think when you realize that your spouse is your teammate, and you are both trying to get to the same place in life, that´s a good common ground to let some things slide and just be silly once in a while.
I think it´s also good to tell each other once in a while why you appreciate one another. The other day Jairo and I were talking and I was expressing my feelings that being a wife, and soon a mother, is great, but sometimes has me feeling like I am on the sidelines while Jairo gets all of the action, so to speak. Jairo seemed genuinely surprised by this and started telling me how important what I do as a wife is for him to be able to minister. He told me, ¨I could not do anything that I do now if it weren´t for what you do here in our home and what you do to help me.¨ I replied that of course he could, to which he responded, ¨No, really, I couldn´t do any of it.¨ He went on to list all of the things I do for him on a daily basis and their importance to him, which I had never even begun to think of as important until now. So my point is that it doesn´t hurt to share those things once in a while, because we never really know what we mean to others if they don´t express that to us.
But to be honest, I am really thinking that laughter is the key ingredient to all of this. I have mentioned before that one thing I really love about Jairo is that he will do anything, and I mean anything, to make me laugh when I am sad. His specialty in my saddest moments when nothing else works is an impression of Steve Erkel. It gets me every time. On the other hand, when I want to make him laugh I do all kinds of crazy dances, which always makes him laugh, no matter what. It has become about 100 times more effective since my belly became a planet and I look that much more ridiculous. We love to laugh with each other and at each other, and I think that those moments are what make the hard times worth putting up with.
Although a close second would be this: Today after our celebration we were both on our respective computers doing our respective work and feeling contented to be close together, working in silence. He closed his computer, signaling that it was about time for him to get ready for church, and so I left what I was doing and we just laid there together for a minute and cuddled, and I thought, this right here is exactly why I got married. Two minutes of holding the whole world in your arms and none of the other silly things in life seem to have much significance.
Here´s to fifteen months of learning to laugh and learning to appreciate the simple moments in life! Soon we will be learning all over again when our little one comes...I have a feeling that those first few months are going to require even more sense of humor!
I was thinking today about the beauty of living every day life with someone that you love. I was also thinking about the importance of laughter as an ingredient in that daily life. Lately I have noticed that Jairo and I have spent a lot of our time making each other laugh, and I think there is a direct correlation between that and how nice our marriage has been lately. Of course, there are always ups and downs, but I feel like lately we have been doing really well. It´s surprising, too, because our stress level is really high these days. My pregnancy is quickly approaching its big day, and that brings with it lots of stress as we try to get ready for baby, and getting ready involves so much more than just shopping! There are so many emotional aspects, for example. And in my case, the hormones currently surging through my body at record levels only add to the stress of that preparation as worries often turn in to tears. That, in turn, adds to Jairo´s stress level, while he is also dealing with all of those outside stressors of the ministry and of providing for his family.
Still, with all those things to stress about, when we are together, there is calm and genuine happiness that in other, less stressful times was not present. I think the key is laughter. Of course, there are many other important ingredients. But I think when you realize that your spouse is your teammate, and you are both trying to get to the same place in life, that´s a good common ground to let some things slide and just be silly once in a while.
I think it´s also good to tell each other once in a while why you appreciate one another. The other day Jairo and I were talking and I was expressing my feelings that being a wife, and soon a mother, is great, but sometimes has me feeling like I am on the sidelines while Jairo gets all of the action, so to speak. Jairo seemed genuinely surprised by this and started telling me how important what I do as a wife is for him to be able to minister. He told me, ¨I could not do anything that I do now if it weren´t for what you do here in our home and what you do to help me.¨ I replied that of course he could, to which he responded, ¨No, really, I couldn´t do any of it.¨ He went on to list all of the things I do for him on a daily basis and their importance to him, which I had never even begun to think of as important until now. So my point is that it doesn´t hurt to share those things once in a while, because we never really know what we mean to others if they don´t express that to us.
But to be honest, I am really thinking that laughter is the key ingredient to all of this. I have mentioned before that one thing I really love about Jairo is that he will do anything, and I mean anything, to make me laugh when I am sad. His specialty in my saddest moments when nothing else works is an impression of Steve Erkel. It gets me every time. On the other hand, when I want to make him laugh I do all kinds of crazy dances, which always makes him laugh, no matter what. It has become about 100 times more effective since my belly became a planet and I look that much more ridiculous. We love to laugh with each other and at each other, and I think that those moments are what make the hard times worth putting up with.
Although a close second would be this: Today after our celebration we were both on our respective computers doing our respective work and feeling contented to be close together, working in silence. He closed his computer, signaling that it was about time for him to get ready for church, and so I left what I was doing and we just laid there together for a minute and cuddled, and I thought, this right here is exactly why I got married. Two minutes of holding the whole world in your arms and none of the other silly things in life seem to have much significance.
Here´s to fifteen months of learning to laugh and learning to appreciate the simple moments in life! Soon we will be learning all over again when our little one comes...I have a feeling that those first few months are going to require even more sense of humor!
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Week 65: A miracle week (week 34 of pregnancy)
Okay, miracle is a strong word. But something must have happened that I was unaware of. (At this point in my pregnancy, that doesn´t really surprise me.) My husband is always very caring and responsible, as well as affectionate, but once we got married and got so busy, I noticed a decline in his romantic gestures. Once I got pregnant, he got even busier because I was no longer around to help him, so the trend continued.
Now, I´m not saying my husband is never romantic or never does anything sweet. He does. He does a lot of very thoughtful things, one of my favorites of which is when he goes grocery shopping for me and brings me home all kinds of surprises. This week I commented to him that he never buys me flowers anymore. I think these comments are usually fueled by tv commercials and things of that nature, and are never really serious complaints. It´s more like I see it on tv and say, ¨Hey, that reminds me...¨ Jairo knows enough to know that those kinds of comments are usually just me being random, so neither of us pay to much attention to those moments. Which is why it surprised me that the next day when he got home from grocery shopping bearing many yummy treats for me as always, he also came home with a bouquet of roses! White and red roses, since he knows how much I love white roses.
Now, that was romantic gesture enough to last me a while. I´m really not that demanding when it comes to things like that...just once in a while I like to know that those feelings are still there. So I was all set. Then this morning someone called us at 7am, and afterwards I couldn´t get back to sleep. I really hate when people call before noon. It´s just so hard to get good sleep these days, and I wake up all the time to go to the bathroom, change positions, eat, etc. that I like to have the freedom to get some sleep. I can probably forgive anyone who calls after 10am, depending on the night I had, but 7am was enough to give me some violent day dreams. Jairo couldn´t get back to sleep later, so he got up. I heard him in the kitchen and wondered absentmindedly what he was up to as I tried hopelessly to force myself into REM. Then in comes Jairo to serve me breakfast in bed! As if that were not enough, he goes back to the kitchen and washes the dishes. All of the dishes. There were a lot of dishes.
Now, I´m not sure if I did something good without realizing it, or maybe the planets are all aligned (although I think that supposedly is going to usher in the apocalypse, so maybe not) or what happened, but I could really get used to this! I´m trying to think of a good way to return the favor, factoring in my lifestyle of forced rest...I´m not sure what kind of gesture I will come up with, I think he definitely deserves something special after all of these nice things he´s doing for me! I think I´ll try to get some sleep first, though.
Now, I´m not saying my husband is never romantic or never does anything sweet. He does. He does a lot of very thoughtful things, one of my favorites of which is when he goes grocery shopping for me and brings me home all kinds of surprises. This week I commented to him that he never buys me flowers anymore. I think these comments are usually fueled by tv commercials and things of that nature, and are never really serious complaints. It´s more like I see it on tv and say, ¨Hey, that reminds me...¨ Jairo knows enough to know that those kinds of comments are usually just me being random, so neither of us pay to much attention to those moments. Which is why it surprised me that the next day when he got home from grocery shopping bearing many yummy treats for me as always, he also came home with a bouquet of roses! White and red roses, since he knows how much I love white roses.
Now, that was romantic gesture enough to last me a while. I´m really not that demanding when it comes to things like that...just once in a while I like to know that those feelings are still there. So I was all set. Then this morning someone called us at 7am, and afterwards I couldn´t get back to sleep. I really hate when people call before noon. It´s just so hard to get good sleep these days, and I wake up all the time to go to the bathroom, change positions, eat, etc. that I like to have the freedom to get some sleep. I can probably forgive anyone who calls after 10am, depending on the night I had, but 7am was enough to give me some violent day dreams. Jairo couldn´t get back to sleep later, so he got up. I heard him in the kitchen and wondered absentmindedly what he was up to as I tried hopelessly to force myself into REM. Then in comes Jairo to serve me breakfast in bed! As if that were not enough, he goes back to the kitchen and washes the dishes. All of the dishes. There were a lot of dishes.
Now, I´m not sure if I did something good without realizing it, or maybe the planets are all aligned (although I think that supposedly is going to usher in the apocalypse, so maybe not) or what happened, but I could really get used to this! I´m trying to think of a good way to return the favor, factoring in my lifestyle of forced rest...I´m not sure what kind of gesture I will come up with, I think he definitely deserves something special after all of these nice things he´s doing for me! I think I´ll try to get some sleep first, though.
Week 65: The big mystery...solved! (week 34 of pregnancy)
We have been waiting patiently for another chance to see our little one, but my doctor is of the philosophy that ultrasounds are unnecessary except at 5 and 9 months. I personally believe they are justifiable at least once a week, because I just love seeing that little person in there! Still, I have waited and waited.
My mom wanted us to try to find out the sex of the baby before she sent out the shower invitations, so we decided to go ahead and get an ultrasound on our own. I have been pretty sure this baby is a boy since the beginning of my pregnancy, which means that I´ve had that idea for about 8 months! Imagine my surprise when the doctor told us that it´s a girl!
¨Are you sure?¨ I asked him, stunned.
¨Yep.¨
¨Like, really sure?¨
¨Yep.¨
A girl! What a surprise! My mom is ecstatic...apparently she has lots of friends who have had girl babies, so she´s probably tearing into the baby clothes as we speak.
To be honest, I wasn´t sure what to feel. In the beginning, even before I got pregnant, I wanted a girl first. Mostly to be sure I get at least one. After all, what mom doesn´t want a daughter. Still, 8 months thinking you are having a boy makes it an adjustment when you find out how long you´ve been wrong!
Jairo wasn´t actually surprised. Sometimes it drives me crazy how calm he is about this pregnancy. I sit here and worry about labor, the baby, life once baby is born, and Jairo´s just thrilled to be a dad. I think his approach is better, but I seem to be incapable of not worrying. Maybe it´s because during pregnancy and labor dad is more of a spectator, until baby is actually born. But anyway, I was really surprised. We haven´t even thought about girl names.
Still, the idea of all those adorable pink things is starting to get me excited. I can´t help but shake the feeling that maybe the ultrasound is wrong, so I´m still buying mostly neutral things for now, but my mother-in-law already started on the dress to bring our little girl home in. I joked to Jairo that he better be ready to run to the store to pick something up in case it´s a boy, though!
My mom wanted us to try to find out the sex of the baby before she sent out the shower invitations, so we decided to go ahead and get an ultrasound on our own. I have been pretty sure this baby is a boy since the beginning of my pregnancy, which means that I´ve had that idea for about 8 months! Imagine my surprise when the doctor told us that it´s a girl!
¨Are you sure?¨ I asked him, stunned.
¨Yep.¨
¨Like, really sure?¨
¨Yep.¨
A girl! What a surprise! My mom is ecstatic...apparently she has lots of friends who have had girl babies, so she´s probably tearing into the baby clothes as we speak.
To be honest, I wasn´t sure what to feel. In the beginning, even before I got pregnant, I wanted a girl first. Mostly to be sure I get at least one. After all, what mom doesn´t want a daughter. Still, 8 months thinking you are having a boy makes it an adjustment when you find out how long you´ve been wrong!
Jairo wasn´t actually surprised. Sometimes it drives me crazy how calm he is about this pregnancy. I sit here and worry about labor, the baby, life once baby is born, and Jairo´s just thrilled to be a dad. I think his approach is better, but I seem to be incapable of not worrying. Maybe it´s because during pregnancy and labor dad is more of a spectator, until baby is actually born. But anyway, I was really surprised. We haven´t even thought about girl names.
Still, the idea of all those adorable pink things is starting to get me excited. I can´t help but shake the feeling that maybe the ultrasound is wrong, so I´m still buying mostly neutral things for now, but my mother-in-law already started on the dress to bring our little girl home in. I joked to Jairo that he better be ready to run to the store to pick something up in case it´s a boy, though!
Week 64: Is resting more even possible at this point? (week 33 of pregnancy)
Well, I went to the doctor for my monthly checkup only to be told that I needed to rest more. Apparently my blood pressure is a little high.
Rest more? More? Is that even a possibility?
Okay, I know it is possible because I´ve heard the bedrest horror stories, but come on. I was not exactly accepting the idea of rest with much enthusiasm before. And now I need more rest? What do I even do in a day besides house chores and this blog? All of my current activities are pretty inactive ones tailored to this idea of getting rest, highly encouraged by my doctor and my husband. I work on different ministry things on the computer, so besides an impending case of carpal tunnel I think that´s fine. I sometimes sew, but that I do sitting down. I make bracelets and other crafty things, again, sitting down. My chores are limited to what my husband thinks is appropriate based on his idea of resting, so I only do the easy things like cooking and washing dishes. I wash the clothes, for example, but Jairo hangs them up on the line. So really, more rest?
The only thing I really get to do every day that is not resting is go on a walk with Jairo around the neighborhood. Even that I don´t get to do every day, because Jairo won´t take me if I´ve been complaining of pain or contractions, for example. I know he´s just trying to take care me and the baby, but it still annoys me how much everyone treats me like I´m so breakable! Okay, maybe I am a little fragile at this point, but I just don´t think we should exaggerate the fact.
This is one of those cases where I have to submit to my doctor (and husband...enforcer of my doctor´s commands) for the good of the baby if not for myself. The reality is that I cannot take care of the baby if I don´t take care of me, because we are so interconnected. So, while it generally involves much sighing and rolling of the eyes, and occasionally a few tears when I have to miss out on activities I enjoy, I do try to rest. After all, resting will never be as easy as it is now! Soon I will have a little one to look after, and once I´ve recovered from labor no one will be encouraging me to rest! Still, I think baby and I are going to have the habit of taking long walks and getting out of the house. Hopefully baby agrees.
Rest more? More? Is that even a possibility?
Okay, I know it is possible because I´ve heard the bedrest horror stories, but come on. I was not exactly accepting the idea of rest with much enthusiasm before. And now I need more rest? What do I even do in a day besides house chores and this blog? All of my current activities are pretty inactive ones tailored to this idea of getting rest, highly encouraged by my doctor and my husband. I work on different ministry things on the computer, so besides an impending case of carpal tunnel I think that´s fine. I sometimes sew, but that I do sitting down. I make bracelets and other crafty things, again, sitting down. My chores are limited to what my husband thinks is appropriate based on his idea of resting, so I only do the easy things like cooking and washing dishes. I wash the clothes, for example, but Jairo hangs them up on the line. So really, more rest?
The only thing I really get to do every day that is not resting is go on a walk with Jairo around the neighborhood. Even that I don´t get to do every day, because Jairo won´t take me if I´ve been complaining of pain or contractions, for example. I know he´s just trying to take care me and the baby, but it still annoys me how much everyone treats me like I´m so breakable! Okay, maybe I am a little fragile at this point, but I just don´t think we should exaggerate the fact.
This is one of those cases where I have to submit to my doctor (and husband...enforcer of my doctor´s commands) for the good of the baby if not for myself. The reality is that I cannot take care of the baby if I don´t take care of me, because we are so interconnected. So, while it generally involves much sighing and rolling of the eyes, and occasionally a few tears when I have to miss out on activities I enjoy, I do try to rest. After all, resting will never be as easy as it is now! Soon I will have a little one to look after, and once I´ve recovered from labor no one will be encouraging me to rest! Still, I think baby and I are going to have the habit of taking long walks and getting out of the house. Hopefully baby agrees.
Week 64: It´s that time again...more reasons why I love Ecuador (week 33 of pregnancy)
I´m going to add yet another item to my list of why I love this country: Landslides.
My husband was supposed to come back to Quito on Tuesday morning, but thanks to all the rain we´ve been getting there was a landslide and the road was closed. There´s only one way from Puyo to Quito (except the one that goes in a huge circle and takes a million years), so that means we just had to wait it out until the road crew got the landslide cleared up.
Well, eventually he did get home, on Wednesday morning, and he didn´t come empty-handed. He brought me a shelf that his dad made us (which Jairo designed, of course) and a crib set for the baby which his mom made, in green, which is my favorite color. He also bought me more thread for making bracelets and he brought our laptop which has been in Puyo at the computer doctor for about 10 years...or so it seems.
Still, the best part of him coming home was just having him home! It was a long couple of days without him, and such a relief to have him here, going about all his normal activities. Life is back to normal! It seems like it was good for him to get away from the business of all his responsibilities here and hang out with friends and family. I know he would have liked for me to go with him were it possible, but I think it was better for him this way. I really was fine here, although I didn´t enjoy the experience too much, and he was able to do whatever he wanted without worrying about me for a few days, which I think was probably a relief. He did seem a little disappointed that he didn´t get to play more soccer, but I don´t think he would ever really reach a point where he had played ¨enough¨, so all in all I think he had a good time. Now he´s home, so maybe I will finally get some of that rest everyone keeps telling me about!
My husband was supposed to come back to Quito on Tuesday morning, but thanks to all the rain we´ve been getting there was a landslide and the road was closed. There´s only one way from Puyo to Quito (except the one that goes in a huge circle and takes a million years), so that means we just had to wait it out until the road crew got the landslide cleared up.
Well, eventually he did get home, on Wednesday morning, and he didn´t come empty-handed. He brought me a shelf that his dad made us (which Jairo designed, of course) and a crib set for the baby which his mom made, in green, which is my favorite color. He also bought me more thread for making bracelets and he brought our laptop which has been in Puyo at the computer doctor for about 10 years...or so it seems.
Still, the best part of him coming home was just having him home! It was a long couple of days without him, and such a relief to have him here, going about all his normal activities. Life is back to normal! It seems like it was good for him to get away from the business of all his responsibilities here and hang out with friends and family. I know he would have liked for me to go with him were it possible, but I think it was better for him this way. I really was fine here, although I didn´t enjoy the experience too much, and he was able to do whatever he wanted without worrying about me for a few days, which I think was probably a relief. He did seem a little disappointed that he didn´t get to play more soccer, but I don´t think he would ever really reach a point where he had played ¨enough¨, so all in all I think he had a good time. Now he´s home, so maybe I will finally get some of that rest everyone keeps telling me about!
Week 63: Home alone (week 32 of pregnancy)
Today Jairo left for Puyo. He´ll be there for about 3 or 4 days. I would have gone with him, but since I am eight months pregnant and the trip is five hours by bus with no rests and no bathrooms, and Puyo is hot and humid, which will probably not complement my growing body too well, I will stay home. Jairo stocked the fridge and got me a few movies to watch, and being a ¨list person¨ as I am, I made a list of things to do while he´s gone, but I´m still really not looking forward to the time alone.
I think it´s a good lesson for me…Trusting God 101. Being a natural worrier, and being pregnant on top of that, I have another little list that I have not written down, but it exists all the same. It´s the list of what could go wrong. There have been landslides between Quito and Puyo recently, so Jairo´s trip is not exactly safe. It could be delayed, due to closed roads, and who knows when he´ll be home? It´s raining really hard, so he could have some kind of accident because of the bad weather—after all, those bus drivers are not exactly careful. On my end, I could have any number of pregnancy related problems, not to mention the unlikely but possible prospects of being robbed or some kind of natural disaster (they say Quito is due for an earthquake). Not to mention with my current lack of balance, I could slip in the shower and be stuck there for days until Jairo gets home and helps me up!
Okay, so I realize that this kind of worrying is a little silly. But more than that, I´ve realized that this kind of worrying is completely unbiblical. Jesus specifically commands us not to worry, because the truth that is so difficult for our human minds to grasp is that everything, absolutely everything, is under God´s control.
I think a lot about that verse that says that true love casts out fear, because fear comes from a belief that there is some eminent punishment just waiting to fall on us. That´s a paraphrase, but the idea comes down to what we really believe about God. If God is all-powerful, loving, good, and always works everything for our good, what is there really to fear? If God has ordained it, won´t He get us through it, whether it seems to us good or bad? And if He has promised to always do good to us and that He will never leave us, why should we fear? Doesn´t God love my husband much more than I do? And doesn´t He know what is best? And doesn´t He also love my unborn child even more than I do? And doesn´t He count my own life as dear to Him as well? Is He not able to protect and care for us?
Yet here I am, trying very hard not to go over my mental disaster list in the hours following Jairo´s departure. I guess it´s one of those things that´s easier said than done. This is just another one of those times that Joshua 1:9 creeps back into my mind: ¨Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified, do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.¨ Memorizing this verse was probably the best investment of 5 minutes of my whole life! We know that whatever God calls us to do, whether big or small, He will give us what we need to carry out the task. In my case, for example, there are some Oreos in my cabinet just waiting to offer me some moral support!
I think it´s a good lesson for me…Trusting God 101. Being a natural worrier, and being pregnant on top of that, I have another little list that I have not written down, but it exists all the same. It´s the list of what could go wrong. There have been landslides between Quito and Puyo recently, so Jairo´s trip is not exactly safe. It could be delayed, due to closed roads, and who knows when he´ll be home? It´s raining really hard, so he could have some kind of accident because of the bad weather—after all, those bus drivers are not exactly careful. On my end, I could have any number of pregnancy related problems, not to mention the unlikely but possible prospects of being robbed or some kind of natural disaster (they say Quito is due for an earthquake). Not to mention with my current lack of balance, I could slip in the shower and be stuck there for days until Jairo gets home and helps me up!
Okay, so I realize that this kind of worrying is a little silly. But more than that, I´ve realized that this kind of worrying is completely unbiblical. Jesus specifically commands us not to worry, because the truth that is so difficult for our human minds to grasp is that everything, absolutely everything, is under God´s control.
I think a lot about that verse that says that true love casts out fear, because fear comes from a belief that there is some eminent punishment just waiting to fall on us. That´s a paraphrase, but the idea comes down to what we really believe about God. If God is all-powerful, loving, good, and always works everything for our good, what is there really to fear? If God has ordained it, won´t He get us through it, whether it seems to us good or bad? And if He has promised to always do good to us and that He will never leave us, why should we fear? Doesn´t God love my husband much more than I do? And doesn´t He know what is best? And doesn´t He also love my unborn child even more than I do? And doesn´t He count my own life as dear to Him as well? Is He not able to protect and care for us?
Yet here I am, trying very hard not to go over my mental disaster list in the hours following Jairo´s departure. I guess it´s one of those things that´s easier said than done. This is just another one of those times that Joshua 1:9 creeps back into my mind: ¨Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified, do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.¨ Memorizing this verse was probably the best investment of 5 minutes of my whole life! We know that whatever God calls us to do, whether big or small, He will give us what we need to carry out the task. In my case, for example, there are some Oreos in my cabinet just waiting to offer me some moral support!
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Week 63: Nesting (week 32 of pregnancy)
I was trying to explain the idea of nesting to Jairo. He thought the terminology was hilarious, the idea of me making a nest. It came up because I am pretty sure I have officially started nesting. I decided to use this energy to be creative, mainly by making bracelets and learning to knit. The knitting hasn´t taken too well yet, but I am not giving up. My mother-in-law will be here in just a month or so and I have already let her know that she will be giving me lessons!
Jairo was skeptical of my ability to weave bracelets, so he bought me a couple of embroidery threads (ever the supportive husband!) and said I should give it a try first. I made him several (all in the same colors since I didn´t have many options) and he was impressed that I actually knew what I was doing, so he got me some more colors. A vote of confidence from Jairo always looks like this; once he has seen good results he becomes an investor.
I also decided to institute family meal time. One meal every day we sit down at the table, no TV, no distractions, and eat and talk like humans. Jairo agreed, although switching off the TV seems to cause him some pain. He´ll get over it. It´s nice to sit down together, and we´ve had some interesting conversations, so I would say the idea is an overall success.
I did get out once this week with Jairo. We went to see Alice in Wonderland with some friends. It was Jairo´s first 3D movie, so it was fun to get to go with him. One of our friends bought the snacks, including nachos, so I was pretty happy. I´m always amazed at how much these things wear me out, but Jairo keeps reminding me that that is exactly why I have been sent to rest. Still, it was worth feeling a little queasy and exhausted afterwards, because it was really fun! It was probably my last movie theater visit for a long time, so I soaked it up!
All in all it has been a good week so far, although I am not looking forward to the end of the week when Jairo leaves for Puyo and I stay here in Quito. There´s no way I can make the trip at this point, but I´m not looking forward to being here alone for a few days. Still, I think it´s important for him to go see his family, because once the baby is born it will be harder to travel for a while. So for now I am focusing on this half of the week and picking out colors for bracelets to make while Jairo is gone. At least I will get to be productive!
Jairo was skeptical of my ability to weave bracelets, so he bought me a couple of embroidery threads (ever the supportive husband!) and said I should give it a try first. I made him several (all in the same colors since I didn´t have many options) and he was impressed that I actually knew what I was doing, so he got me some more colors. A vote of confidence from Jairo always looks like this; once he has seen good results he becomes an investor.
I also decided to institute family meal time. One meal every day we sit down at the table, no TV, no distractions, and eat and talk like humans. Jairo agreed, although switching off the TV seems to cause him some pain. He´ll get over it. It´s nice to sit down together, and we´ve had some interesting conversations, so I would say the idea is an overall success.
I did get out once this week with Jairo. We went to see Alice in Wonderland with some friends. It was Jairo´s first 3D movie, so it was fun to get to go with him. One of our friends bought the snacks, including nachos, so I was pretty happy. I´m always amazed at how much these things wear me out, but Jairo keeps reminding me that that is exactly why I have been sent to rest. Still, it was worth feeling a little queasy and exhausted afterwards, because it was really fun! It was probably my last movie theater visit for a long time, so I soaked it up!
All in all it has been a good week so far, although I am not looking forward to the end of the week when Jairo leaves for Puyo and I stay here in Quito. There´s no way I can make the trip at this point, but I´m not looking forward to being here alone for a few days. Still, I think it´s important for him to go see his family, because once the baby is born it will be harder to travel for a while. So for now I am focusing on this half of the week and picking out colors for bracelets to make while Jairo is gone. At least I will get to be productive!
Week 62: Good Friday (week 31 of pregnancy)
This week we celebrated Good Friday with a special service at church, and Jairo asked me to sing a special song with him during the service. I was pretty excited about it because it has been I while since I have gotten to sing with him (all that ¨resting¨, you know) and I really like the song we sang, too. Jairo also gave one of the messages (there are 7 on Good Friday!! But short ones...) and that´s always fun to watch because he´s so good at it.
The service was a difficult one for me. It was just too long and I am just too pregnant. Still, it was a really nice service. I just got some crazy contractions and we had to move back the special a little, which was no problem since Jairo is the worship leader, so no one even knew. I wasn´t sure I´d be able to breath enough to sing because of the contractions, but they went away. After that I was pretty tired, though, and I was relieved when we finally got home.
I had a friend of ours film the song with our new camera that some friends of ours sent to us. I was pretty excited about that because our camera broke quite a while ago and I haven´t been able to take any pregnancy pictures, which really made me sad. It was funny to watch the video and see that big belly in action!
I´m really looking forward to getting back into the things I did before, like being part of the worship team. Things like this service really remind me how much I miss it. I know it might be a while because even after the baby is born I won´t be able to just jump into everything again at once, but the idea of being able to be a part of it again is pretty exciting! Who knows, in a few years maybe our little addition will join us in music! Wouldn´t that be fun!
The service was a difficult one for me. It was just too long and I am just too pregnant. Still, it was a really nice service. I just got some crazy contractions and we had to move back the special a little, which was no problem since Jairo is the worship leader, so no one even knew. I wasn´t sure I´d be able to breath enough to sing because of the contractions, but they went away. After that I was pretty tired, though, and I was relieved when we finally got home.
I had a friend of ours film the song with our new camera that some friends of ours sent to us. I was pretty excited about that because our camera broke quite a while ago and I haven´t been able to take any pregnancy pictures, which really made me sad. It was funny to watch the video and see that big belly in action!
I´m really looking forward to getting back into the things I did before, like being part of the worship team. Things like this service really remind me how much I miss it. I know it might be a while because even after the baby is born I won´t be able to just jump into everything again at once, but the idea of being able to be a part of it again is pretty exciting! Who knows, in a few years maybe our little addition will join us in music! Wouldn´t that be fun!
Week 61: Other random occurences this week...(week 30 of pregnancy)
I can think of two things worth reporting from this week, besides our anniversary, of course. The first is that Jairo has begun teaching an evangelism class to the youth, something we´ve been wanting to do for a long time. It´s always so exciting to take another step in the ministry and see God come through again and again. He has about 6 students so far, and the class is going really well. The goal is to train them and then begin weekly outreach activities, so hopefully I will get to join in on that once baby is born and I am recovered!
The other notable event of this week was the first appearance of braxton hicks contractions. To be honest, the first one scared me half to death. I had read about them, of course, but it´s something else to feel them...especially when they are generally described as ¨painless¨, which was not my experience! It wasn´t a terribly painful experience, but it was more painful than painless...if that makes any sense!
I guess this can only be a reminder that, ready or not, in a few weeks I will be thrust into labor, completely independent of my will. My body is beginning its preparations. The window of opportunity for the birth is huge, up to two weeks before and two weeks after the projected due date. You´d think that science could do better than that! I´m hoping for baby to come a little early, but then I suppose most moms probably do. Who wants to be pregnant for more than 40 weeks?? Only God knows, and I am trying to put everything in His hands and focus on those few things I can do in the meantime. I suppose I ought to get that hospital bag packed!
The other notable event of this week was the first appearance of braxton hicks contractions. To be honest, the first one scared me half to death. I had read about them, of course, but it´s something else to feel them...especially when they are generally described as ¨painless¨, which was not my experience! It wasn´t a terribly painful experience, but it was more painful than painless...if that makes any sense!
I guess this can only be a reminder that, ready or not, in a few weeks I will be thrust into labor, completely independent of my will. My body is beginning its preparations. The window of opportunity for the birth is huge, up to two weeks before and two weeks after the projected due date. You´d think that science could do better than that! I´m hoping for baby to come a little early, but then I suppose most moms probably do. Who wants to be pregnant for more than 40 weeks?? Only God knows, and I am trying to put everything in His hands and focus on those few things I can do in the meantime. I suppose I ought to get that hospital bag packed!
Week 61: 14 months married (week 30 of pregnancy)
This week is another anniversary--14 months! Time sure is moving along quickly! This month I can´t say I have any deep marriage insight to share, I am just feeling blessed as I have another reminder of God´s faithfulness in sustaining this marriage. He is the one who led us to each other, He is the one who formed the bond between us, He is the one who bound us together in marriage and He is the one who gives us the strength and love to continue building our life together.
There is still nothing that comes close to the feeling of waking up next to the person you love, realizing that God has allowed you another day to love each other and enjoy each other´s company. Add to that the joy of waking up each day to feel our little one kicking and knowing that soon we will have reason to let even more love and joy into our home, and there is pretty much nothing that can top the life we have these days. God is faithful, and the good work He began in us He will bring to completion. Meanwhile, I feel thankful once again to have someone who I love and who loves me, and to be able to celebrate another anniversary, remembering why we decided to marry each other in the first place.
There is still nothing that comes close to the feeling of waking up next to the person you love, realizing that God has allowed you another day to love each other and enjoy each other´s company. Add to that the joy of waking up each day to feel our little one kicking and knowing that soon we will have reason to let even more love and joy into our home, and there is pretty much nothing that can top the life we have these days. God is faithful, and the good work He began in us He will bring to completion. Meanwhile, I feel thankful once again to have someone who I love and who loves me, and to be able to celebrate another anniversary, remembering why we decided to marry each other in the first place.
Week 60: My birthday week! (week 29 of pregnancy)
This week is my birthday week! The festivities actually started on the last day of week 59, but I figured it would be better to record it all together.
Actually, the festivities started off on a sad note. The day before my birthday, Jairo woke me up with the news that Patas, our littlest bunny, had died. Apparently she somehow got stuck in some part of the cage, but we´re still not really sure what happened. Well, the fact that she was my favorite and also the tiniest of the three combined with pregnancy hormones made for a really rough morning. I cried for hours while Jairo was at church, while I was supposed to be, you guessed it, resting. I brought the other little bunny, Rabo, inside and put him in the bathroom (for lack of anywhere else to put him) because I was so terrified that something might happen to him too. Orejas is huge and could never get stuck in any part of the cage, so I let her stay where she was. Finally I decided to get up and straighten the house, since I wasn´t actually resting but crying, and that calmed me down a little. There was very little food in the house, so I called Jairo after he got out of church to ask him if he wanted me to meet him at the market. He said he would pick up a few things and be home later, and I should just ¨rest¨.
He took a while to come home and had bought very few things, which surprised me. I didn´t take too much notice of it, though. He told me to get ready to go out and we would buy a few things at the store by our house, and then he started straightening up the house. (Yet another thing I should have noticed as strange, but did not...either thanks to my emotional stupor or my pregnant cluelessness.) I accepted this idea with no thought at all and got ready to go out. I suggested that we go to a restaurant because I was pretty hungry, but Jairo assured me that there was nowhere open right now (which I bought, although it was ridiculous!) and we would buy me a snack and he would cook. (Sold!) He was acting a little weird with some random phone calls to our friend who lives close by us, which annoyed me, but I still really thought nothing of it. I was focused on that snack he promised me.
When we got home I stopped, stunned, at the rabbit cage (where Jairo had replaced Rabo before we left, assuring me that he would be fine). There was little black bunny in the cage. My first thought was that the whole thing about Patas dying had been some cruel joke (I didn´t go out to see the body or anything...I can´t even handle things like that), but then I realized that this particular black bunny was much, much tinier, like a little baby bunny, and had different fur. I stood there like an idiot, not really understanding at all until Jairo said, ¨Happy birthday! I got you a new bunny! Do you want to hold her?¨ I started to cry a little bit, but those few happy tears, not the sad, mourning tears I had cried earlier, and said ¨YES!¨ She was absolutely adorable! I had never seen such a small bunny before, and she cuddled right up to me as I held her. We took her inside and I sat on the couch, only half-noticing that there was a backpack and a jacket there that were not there before and did not belong to us. I was in some other far away bunny land, and Jairo seemed pleased to see me so happy, especially after seeing me so sad in the morning. He only let me sit there for a few seconds and then said to follow him, and when I did (totally in my own world) I almost peed my pants when a kitchen full of people shouted ¨Surprise!!¨ Only then did I notice the balloons and streamers. I´m sure a few more of those happy tears came out, because I was beyond words happy at this point, and took a seat as everyone went around the circle saying their birthday wishes to me. Then is was my turn to talk and I thanked everyone for coming and for being my friends, all the while clutching my tiny little baby bunny. Then (finally) they brought out the food. Jairo had bought enough Chinese for everyone and two ice cream cakes. Could this day get any better?
Our friends stuck around for a movie before heading out, and it was really a great day. I couldn´t stop admiring my little bunny, who lives inside in a box until she gets big enough to join the others. I am way too traumatized to put her in the cage just yet.
A few days later Jairo took me up north to get donuts, frappuccinos and read books at the bookstore, which, besides a party with my friends, was the other birthday wish I had expressed for this year. So I got everything I wanted for my birthday, plus a tiny baby bunny!
I can´t believe I´m 23. When I was little I always thought I would get married at 23, so I guess I´m ahead of the curve on that one since I´m already married and pregnant. I will be a mom at 23! I can´t believe I was married at 21, and now I´m already 23! The time passes so quickly! Still, I´m way younger than Jairo who will turn 30 in May, so I´m cool with it. Plus, I don´t really mind getting older if I get to have such a great time having a birthday!
Actually, the festivities started off on a sad note. The day before my birthday, Jairo woke me up with the news that Patas, our littlest bunny, had died. Apparently she somehow got stuck in some part of the cage, but we´re still not really sure what happened. Well, the fact that she was my favorite and also the tiniest of the three combined with pregnancy hormones made for a really rough morning. I cried for hours while Jairo was at church, while I was supposed to be, you guessed it, resting. I brought the other little bunny, Rabo, inside and put him in the bathroom (for lack of anywhere else to put him) because I was so terrified that something might happen to him too. Orejas is huge and could never get stuck in any part of the cage, so I let her stay where she was. Finally I decided to get up and straighten the house, since I wasn´t actually resting but crying, and that calmed me down a little. There was very little food in the house, so I called Jairo after he got out of church to ask him if he wanted me to meet him at the market. He said he would pick up a few things and be home later, and I should just ¨rest¨.
He took a while to come home and had bought very few things, which surprised me. I didn´t take too much notice of it, though. He told me to get ready to go out and we would buy a few things at the store by our house, and then he started straightening up the house. (Yet another thing I should have noticed as strange, but did not...either thanks to my emotional stupor or my pregnant cluelessness.) I accepted this idea with no thought at all and got ready to go out. I suggested that we go to a restaurant because I was pretty hungry, but Jairo assured me that there was nowhere open right now (which I bought, although it was ridiculous!) and we would buy me a snack and he would cook. (Sold!) He was acting a little weird with some random phone calls to our friend who lives close by us, which annoyed me, but I still really thought nothing of it. I was focused on that snack he promised me.
When we got home I stopped, stunned, at the rabbit cage (where Jairo had replaced Rabo before we left, assuring me that he would be fine). There was little black bunny in the cage. My first thought was that the whole thing about Patas dying had been some cruel joke (I didn´t go out to see the body or anything...I can´t even handle things like that), but then I realized that this particular black bunny was much, much tinier, like a little baby bunny, and had different fur. I stood there like an idiot, not really understanding at all until Jairo said, ¨Happy birthday! I got you a new bunny! Do you want to hold her?¨ I started to cry a little bit, but those few happy tears, not the sad, mourning tears I had cried earlier, and said ¨YES!¨ She was absolutely adorable! I had never seen such a small bunny before, and she cuddled right up to me as I held her. We took her inside and I sat on the couch, only half-noticing that there was a backpack and a jacket there that were not there before and did not belong to us. I was in some other far away bunny land, and Jairo seemed pleased to see me so happy, especially after seeing me so sad in the morning. He only let me sit there for a few seconds and then said to follow him, and when I did (totally in my own world) I almost peed my pants when a kitchen full of people shouted ¨Surprise!!¨ Only then did I notice the balloons and streamers. I´m sure a few more of those happy tears came out, because I was beyond words happy at this point, and took a seat as everyone went around the circle saying their birthday wishes to me. Then is was my turn to talk and I thanked everyone for coming and for being my friends, all the while clutching my tiny little baby bunny. Then (finally) they brought out the food. Jairo had bought enough Chinese for everyone and two ice cream cakes. Could this day get any better?
Our friends stuck around for a movie before heading out, and it was really a great day. I couldn´t stop admiring my little bunny, who lives inside in a box until she gets big enough to join the others. I am way too traumatized to put her in the cage just yet.
A few days later Jairo took me up north to get donuts, frappuccinos and read books at the bookstore, which, besides a party with my friends, was the other birthday wish I had expressed for this year. So I got everything I wanted for my birthday, plus a tiny baby bunny!
I can´t believe I´m 23. When I was little I always thought I would get married at 23, so I guess I´m ahead of the curve on that one since I´m already married and pregnant. I will be a mom at 23! I can´t believe I was married at 21, and now I´m already 23! The time passes so quickly! Still, I´m way younger than Jairo who will turn 30 in May, so I´m cool with it. Plus, I don´t really mind getting older if I get to have such a great time having a birthday!
Week 59: Hormones and getting creative (week 28 of pregnancy)
This has been an interesting week. I would say my hormonal low was the day I decided to try on my wedding dress. I´m seven months pregnant. What exactly was I expecting. Jairo laughed when he came home to find me in my wedding dress and veil, wedding dress not laced up, of course, sitting on the bed, lost in my thoughts.
What was I thinking about? Who knows. I was remembering my wedding of course, and admiring my wedding dress which is even prettier than I remembered. So much has changed since that day, and so much is about to change again. I guess those were more or less the kinds of thoughts running through my mind. Along with a resolution to go jogging with my husband as soon as I´m able. I want to be able to lace this baby up again.
The high point was Dia de la Mujer, or Women´s Day, when Jairo took me out for ice cream. He took me to a new place that opened up close to home and I got the two scoops of ice cream with pineapple and strawberries...an excellent choice. I suppose this kind of thing doesn´t encourage the quick lacing up of my wedding dress, but it does raise those hormones to more stable levels, so I´ll call it a wash.
My productivity took a new turn this week as I decided to try out a pattern I found online for making a baby gown out of an old t-shirt. (Baby gowns are for sleeping, and not necessarily for a girl or boy in particular). I used one of Jairo´s old t-shirts and sewed one up while he was gone. When he came home and saw the gown he donated more t-shirts to me. Apparently he was impressed. (See, he is very supportive of all my little projects!) I was pretty impressed myself. It had been a while since I sewed, so it was fun to take it up again. I think I´ll see what other patterns are out there.
I have to say, I´m in a slump in some sense. I feel like this pregnancy will never be over, and like I´ve been pregnant FOREVER. I´m getting more uncomfortable now that my belly is growing, and the days seem to just drag on. Still, I know in my head that I should be thankful for these days, the last for a long time that I will have to myself. Still, I think having the baby, with all its challenges and trials, will be such a relief. This pregnancy has been difficult especially because the doctor has been strict with me about the resting thing, which makes for a more isolated pregnancy than normal. I´m looking forward to the days of getting out and about again like I used to, even if I am teathered to a stroller!!
What was I thinking about? Who knows. I was remembering my wedding of course, and admiring my wedding dress which is even prettier than I remembered. So much has changed since that day, and so much is about to change again. I guess those were more or less the kinds of thoughts running through my mind. Along with a resolution to go jogging with my husband as soon as I´m able. I want to be able to lace this baby up again.
The high point was Dia de la Mujer, or Women´s Day, when Jairo took me out for ice cream. He took me to a new place that opened up close to home and I got the two scoops of ice cream with pineapple and strawberries...an excellent choice. I suppose this kind of thing doesn´t encourage the quick lacing up of my wedding dress, but it does raise those hormones to more stable levels, so I´ll call it a wash.
My productivity took a new turn this week as I decided to try out a pattern I found online for making a baby gown out of an old t-shirt. (Baby gowns are for sleeping, and not necessarily for a girl or boy in particular). I used one of Jairo´s old t-shirts and sewed one up while he was gone. When he came home and saw the gown he donated more t-shirts to me. Apparently he was impressed. (See, he is very supportive of all my little projects!) I was pretty impressed myself. It had been a while since I sewed, so it was fun to take it up again. I think I´ll see what other patterns are out there.
I have to say, I´m in a slump in some sense. I feel like this pregnancy will never be over, and like I´ve been pregnant FOREVER. I´m getting more uncomfortable now that my belly is growing, and the days seem to just drag on. Still, I know in my head that I should be thankful for these days, the last for a long time that I will have to myself. Still, I think having the baby, with all its challenges and trials, will be such a relief. This pregnancy has been difficult especially because the doctor has been strict with me about the resting thing, which makes for a more isolated pregnancy than normal. I´m looking forward to the days of getting out and about again like I used to, even if I am teathered to a stroller!!
Week 58: Children´s Revolution (week 27 of pregnancy)
This week I started planning for our new project for Revolution Ministries...it looks like in a few months we might finally be working with children!! I am working on the planning for a year, and I already finished several months worth. The program is an after school program for public school kids that would meet once a week. Each week there will be a Bible lesson, a snack, a craft, a game and a song (all of which I am planning for each month!! It´s a lot of work!). We are currently looking into working in school in the outskirts of Quito, which is where many poor families attend small, poorly-funded schools. These kids usually have to walk home from school each day and stay alone in an empty house all afternoon until their parents get home from work. We want to help give these kids the love and attention that they can´t get at home, and help them understand the Father´s love for them. Our goal is to have everything in place by the beginning of the next school year, at the end of August. It´s not as far away as it seems!
I feel good about being so productive this week. I just decided that I might as well use the quiet time to its full potential while I can, as I understand that once this baby arrives I will have considerably less quiet time to take advantage of! I really like planning and developing lessons and curriculum, so in some way the time off is a blessing so that I can help get things ready for the next step of the ministry. Plus I don´t feel as useless!
Please pray for this project, because we have wanted to work with kids for a long time, and we are really excited! God is opening doors and showing us new and exciting ways we can serve Him, and all of these things need lots of prayer in order to go from dream to reality! If God wants to do it, He will make a way!
I feel good about being so productive this week. I just decided that I might as well use the quiet time to its full potential while I can, as I understand that once this baby arrives I will have considerably less quiet time to take advantage of! I really like planning and developing lessons and curriculum, so in some way the time off is a blessing so that I can help get things ready for the next step of the ministry. Plus I don´t feel as useless!
Please pray for this project, because we have wanted to work with kids for a long time, and we are really excited! God is opening doors and showing us new and exciting ways we can serve Him, and all of these things need lots of prayer in order to go from dream to reality! If God wants to do it, He will make a way!
Week 58: Two new additions to the family (week 27 of pregnancy)
Jairo and I got two new bunnies today! One is a black female, named Patas, and the other is a white male named Rabo. I´m a little nervous to put them in the cage with Orejas, since we´ve had her forever and she´s pretty spoiled. I´ve heard animals can get pretty jealous and she is huge compared to the others, so I´m hoping she will behave.
I love animals. Jairo always says that someday he is going to build me a house on a ton of land in the country and I will be able to buy all the animals I want. And I want a lot of animals. I want sheep, goats, dogs, cats, bunnies, chickens, ducks, llamas...like I said, I love animals! For now, though, I just get the bunnies, because our apartment really doesn´t have space for a llama. (I´ve thought about a lot of different arrangements, but nothing ever pans out.)
I was surprised Jairo let me get two more rabbits, because since I got pregnant he is the one who gets to clean their cage. Sometimes he complains about it, but I think he really doesn´t mind that much. He might love those rabbits just as much as I do.
In some way, the rabbits are nice to have around when Jairo leaves home and I´m here resting, as usual, and feeling a little lonely. Not that you can really have a conversation with a rabbit, but they are fun to play with (until they start peeing on everything...that´s when it´s time to go back in the cage.) I think the fact that I have to spend so much time alone is what really made Jairo decide to get me the bunnies. I used to go everywhere with Jairo, because I´m a part of almost all of the things he does. He always tells me how much he misses me being able to go with him to the youth service, drama practice, etc because we did everything as a team. It makes me feel a little guilty, like I´m not doing my job, but Jairo always assures me that my job for now is taking care of me...and this little one. I suppose he´s right. Still, I´m looking forward to hanging out with humans again...although most of them are not nearly as cuddly as my bunnies.
I love animals. Jairo always says that someday he is going to build me a house on a ton of land in the country and I will be able to buy all the animals I want. And I want a lot of animals. I want sheep, goats, dogs, cats, bunnies, chickens, ducks, llamas...like I said, I love animals! For now, though, I just get the bunnies, because our apartment really doesn´t have space for a llama. (I´ve thought about a lot of different arrangements, but nothing ever pans out.)
I was surprised Jairo let me get two more rabbits, because since I got pregnant he is the one who gets to clean their cage. Sometimes he complains about it, but I think he really doesn´t mind that much. He might love those rabbits just as much as I do.
In some way, the rabbits are nice to have around when Jairo leaves home and I´m here resting, as usual, and feeling a little lonely. Not that you can really have a conversation with a rabbit, but they are fun to play with (until they start peeing on everything...that´s when it´s time to go back in the cage.) I think the fact that I have to spend so much time alone is what really made Jairo decide to get me the bunnies. I used to go everywhere with Jairo, because I´m a part of almost all of the things he does. He always tells me how much he misses me being able to go with him to the youth service, drama practice, etc because we did everything as a team. It makes me feel a little guilty, like I´m not doing my job, but Jairo always assures me that my job for now is taking care of me...and this little one. I suppose he´s right. Still, I´m looking forward to hanging out with humans again...although most of them are not nearly as cuddly as my bunnies.
Week 58: Day trip (week 27 of pregnancy)
Today we decided to go to Latacunga, a city about 2 hours from Quito, because one of our friends is friends with the owners of a Christian camp there. We wanted to go see the camp and talk to the owners to see how much it costs, when it is available, and all of that to see if we can do some kind of retreat with the youth sometime after the baby is born.
Seeing as I don´t get out much these days, I was overjoyed at the idea of going anywhere, especially somewhere far away (but not so far away that it would be really uncomfortable...I am still pregnant after all). We went in our friend´s car, because in bus Jairo would have never let me go, and we left pretty early in the morning to be sure we got there in time to be able to stay a little while. Once we got into the city we stopped to eat, and I got the world´s biggest fruit salad for 50 cents, which even for Ecuador is really cheap. I was pretty excited. Then we headed off to the camp, which was pretty far outside the city.
The trip up there was a hot one (no AC in the car) and we had to keep the windows up because the road was so dusty, so I was suffering quite a bit in the heat. I decided not to say anything, though, because there was nothing we could do about it anyway and I really didn´t want to be left at home for the next trip! At one point I thought we were past the dusty part of the road and rolled down my window just in time to get a face full of dirt, so that made a great first impression, I´m sure. The windows were the kind you roll up by hand, and jept getting stuck, so my attempt at rolling up the window quickly was kind of a disaster and everyone in the car ended up very dusty thanks to me. Luckily I was with 3 men, and they thought it was funny that I got the worst of it.
The camp itself was really nice and we are now thinking about several different kinds of retreats we´d like to plan for the future. First of all, though, I think we will be doing a youth retreat, since it´s a goal we´ve had for a long time. The prices are really low, which surprised me because the camp is really cool, so I think we´ll be able to get a lot of kids involved.
On the way home we stopped off at some tiny town in the middle of nowhere where our friend´s wife was with her family. They offered us a place to stay, but we were all pretty tired and anxious to go home. We didn´t actually get home until pretty late at night, and I for one was starving, but I felt that kind of satisfaction that you only feel after spending the day in the sun with friends. Jairo and I chattered on and on about all the ideas we had for the camp, and I was really glad I got to go. Still, the few times I actually decide to do something outside of the house, I am reminded by the end of the day why the doctor told me to get lots of rest. I think I´ve had my fill of going out for a while...I´ll probably use tomorrow to recover.
Seeing as I don´t get out much these days, I was overjoyed at the idea of going anywhere, especially somewhere far away (but not so far away that it would be really uncomfortable...I am still pregnant after all). We went in our friend´s car, because in bus Jairo would have never let me go, and we left pretty early in the morning to be sure we got there in time to be able to stay a little while. Once we got into the city we stopped to eat, and I got the world´s biggest fruit salad for 50 cents, which even for Ecuador is really cheap. I was pretty excited. Then we headed off to the camp, which was pretty far outside the city.
The trip up there was a hot one (no AC in the car) and we had to keep the windows up because the road was so dusty, so I was suffering quite a bit in the heat. I decided not to say anything, though, because there was nothing we could do about it anyway and I really didn´t want to be left at home for the next trip! At one point I thought we were past the dusty part of the road and rolled down my window just in time to get a face full of dirt, so that made a great first impression, I´m sure. The windows were the kind you roll up by hand, and jept getting stuck, so my attempt at rolling up the window quickly was kind of a disaster and everyone in the car ended up very dusty thanks to me. Luckily I was with 3 men, and they thought it was funny that I got the worst of it.
The camp itself was really nice and we are now thinking about several different kinds of retreats we´d like to plan for the future. First of all, though, I think we will be doing a youth retreat, since it´s a goal we´ve had for a long time. The prices are really low, which surprised me because the camp is really cool, so I think we´ll be able to get a lot of kids involved.
On the way home we stopped off at some tiny town in the middle of nowhere where our friend´s wife was with her family. They offered us a place to stay, but we were all pretty tired and anxious to go home. We didn´t actually get home until pretty late at night, and I for one was starving, but I felt that kind of satisfaction that you only feel after spending the day in the sun with friends. Jairo and I chattered on and on about all the ideas we had for the camp, and I was really glad I got to go. Still, the few times I actually decide to do something outside of the house, I am reminded by the end of the day why the doctor told me to get lots of rest. I think I´ve had my fill of going out for a while...I´ll probably use tomorrow to recover.
Week 57: My new project (week 26 of pregnancy)
I mentioned in my last post about our anniversary that Jairo is always very supportive of my dreams and ideas. I have an example of that, which I am really excited about. For a long time I have wanted to develop an English curriculum to use in the ministry. I´ve looked at tons of ESL books, and I don´t like any of them. I went to college for languages, so I have a lot of experience learning foreign languages. I´m no professional in linguistics, but I have a lot of experience being a student of language, so I have seen a lot of textbooks and made a sort of mental list of the things I liked and didn´t like, knowing someday I would want to attempt my own curriculum. I´ve put this on the back burner for some time now, having always had much too much to do to even think about it. However, since I am under house arrest, I mean since I am ¨resting¨ so much, I once again got the ESL bug.
I started by outlining more or less the first level and what I wanted to teach. Then I started in on chapter one. Like I said, I´m no professional at this, and I´m just doing it in the way that makes sense to me. I got a little bit done on it before I showed it to Jairo. I asked him to look it over, proof the Spanish, and tell me in general how well it was working. He looked it over for me dutifully and said he was really impressed and ¨people will actually be able to learn from this book¨. I took that as a compliment since Jairo hates learning English.
So I decided to see how much he really liked it by proposing my full plan to him. Jairo is a graphic and industrial designer, and does everything artistic. I told him I´d like him to help me by doing the illustrations for the book, and showed him more or less what I wanted. He switched into professional designer mode (yet another side of him I had not seen) and explained to me how I needed to lay everything out in order for him to do the drawings. Apparently he was taking me seriously, which was pretty cool. Well, he bought me a special notebook where I can do the layout ideas for each page, and that´s what I´m working on now. He is waiting on our computer to get fixed so he can start on the illustrations, so for now I´m getting a head start. It might seem sentimental, but I like the idea of the ESL curriculum so much more now that we´re doing it together. And I really liked the idea before, so you can imagine how much I like it now!
I think it´s important for spouses to take an interest in the ideas, dreams and interests of the other. I think first and foremost we are here to help each other and be each other´s closest friend. Your spouse is the one person you really don´t want to laugh at your dreams! I know that aside from God, the one person who I really care what they think of me and my plans is Jairo. When he supports me and what I want to do, it´s like he gives me altitude for flying. If he didn´t support me, though, I would probably be tempted to give up.
That being said, I think we women who are wives should try to take a minute and think about how well we are supporting our husbands. Do we take an interest in his job, his hobbies, his interests and his dreams? Do we even know what they are anymore? I bet if we are doing a good job supporting our husbands, it won´t take long until they do the same for us. I find a lot of contentment in the fact that my husband is my best friend, and I think that kind of relationship is only born when we prove that we can be trusted with each other´s dreams, no matter how silly or impossible they might seem.
I started by outlining more or less the first level and what I wanted to teach. Then I started in on chapter one. Like I said, I´m no professional at this, and I´m just doing it in the way that makes sense to me. I got a little bit done on it before I showed it to Jairo. I asked him to look it over, proof the Spanish, and tell me in general how well it was working. He looked it over for me dutifully and said he was really impressed and ¨people will actually be able to learn from this book¨. I took that as a compliment since Jairo hates learning English.
So I decided to see how much he really liked it by proposing my full plan to him. Jairo is a graphic and industrial designer, and does everything artistic. I told him I´d like him to help me by doing the illustrations for the book, and showed him more or less what I wanted. He switched into professional designer mode (yet another side of him I had not seen) and explained to me how I needed to lay everything out in order for him to do the drawings. Apparently he was taking me seriously, which was pretty cool. Well, he bought me a special notebook where I can do the layout ideas for each page, and that´s what I´m working on now. He is waiting on our computer to get fixed so he can start on the illustrations, so for now I´m getting a head start. It might seem sentimental, but I like the idea of the ESL curriculum so much more now that we´re doing it together. And I really liked the idea before, so you can imagine how much I like it now!
I think it´s important for spouses to take an interest in the ideas, dreams and interests of the other. I think first and foremost we are here to help each other and be each other´s closest friend. Your spouse is the one person you really don´t want to laugh at your dreams! I know that aside from God, the one person who I really care what they think of me and my plans is Jairo. When he supports me and what I want to do, it´s like he gives me altitude for flying. If he didn´t support me, though, I would probably be tempted to give up.
That being said, I think we women who are wives should try to take a minute and think about how well we are supporting our husbands. Do we take an interest in his job, his hobbies, his interests and his dreams? Do we even know what they are anymore? I bet if we are doing a good job supporting our husbands, it won´t take long until they do the same for us. I find a lot of contentment in the fact that my husband is my best friend, and I think that kind of relationship is only born when we prove that we can be trusted with each other´s dreams, no matter how silly or impossible they might seem.
Week 57: Thirteen months married (week 26 of pregnancy)
¨A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.¨
This week marks our 13 month anniversary. I was thinking about the quote above, and I think the truth is that the longer you are married, the more you find new reasons to fall in love with your spouse. I think all of the reasons I fell in love with Jairo are all still good reasons, but the longer we are married, the more I get to know him, the more we share experiences together, the more he changes and grows as a person...all of these things give me many new reasons to keep falling in love with him.
A lot of the girls in the youth group ask me about marriage, love, and things of that nature, and I am always the first to tell them that love as God designed it really has nothing to do with the feelings we have on a given day. Love is much more than a feeling; in reality is a decision that we have to make every day. If we look at 1 Corinthians 13, none of what is described has to do with feelings. Whenever I think I´m doing well I just open up the Bible to those verses and swallow my pride.(Love is patient, love is kind...) Still though, the feeling that the world calls love, and what we would refer to as being ¨in love¨, definitely helps make the decision to love someone much easier! The days that those loving feelings don´t come as easily are the days that loving a spouse becomes a sacrifice, and it´s difficult sometimes. The days that we do feel those lovey-dovey feelings, it´s much easier.
I guess what I´m saying is that I don´t need any other reason to love my husband than the promise I made to him and to God when we got married. Still, it´s easy to find lots of reasons to keep falling in love with him every day (almost always!).
More than a year into our marriage, what are some new things that I love about my husband that I did not know about him or share with him when we got married? The most obvious thing I can think of is our baby that is currently about 65% ready to be born! I can´t even begin to explain what I feel for Jairo when I think about this life we helped form together, especially when he does something like read a book to my belly or sing it songs. Seeing my husband become a father is and will be a whole new dimension to him as a person and to our relationship as well. I´m looking forward to seeing him in action when this little one arrives!
There are many other things I´ve learned about my husband in the past year or so. He loves to see me happy, and he will do anything, no matter how embarassing, to make me laugh. He is incredibly patient, especially with me. He has a lot of big dreams and I´ve learned that I can help him by simply believing in him and the things he wants to accomplish. He believes in me too, and is always quick to encourage me to pursue what I love and to try new things. He is much more talented than I ever realized in the beginning, and seems to grow more talented rather than just being content with what he already has. He loves silly jokes and he´s really funny, even sarcastic sometimes which is not actually too common in this culture (but I really appreciate it!). He´s really not like anyone else I know, except maybe a little like me in certain ways, and while he has many friends and loves to be with them, he doesn´t trust very many enough to share secrets with them...which makes me feel priveledged to be the one he confides in. He is very sensitive, especially to the needs and feelings of others, which makes him even better at the ministry. I could go on and on, but I think you get the idea. These are all things that I had yet to discover about my husband when we got married.
Of course, I could also make a list of the faults I didn´t know about, because getting to know someone implies that you get to know all of them, and not just the good side. But I always remember a saying I heard once, that says that the faults you find in others that most bother you are the faults you yourself have. I always think about that when something Jairo does starts to bother me. I think, if I were to go to him with this and complain, would he be able to call me a hypocrite? And the truth is that almost always I´ve found that saying to be true. And on top of that, I can find many other faults in myself that Jairo does not share. So when I´m tempted to complain, I start praying and asking God to show me where I need to change. That´s a good prayer if you need to be humbled, by the way.
What can I say? Another month has passed, and we are richer, if not in the material sense, in the sense that we have shared that many more moments together, gotten to know each other that much more, learned that much more, failed and succeeded that much more, and come to love each other more, both in the sentimental sense and in the sense of 1 Corinthians. I feel blessed, as I do every 24th of the month, to see how God has blessed me with everything I ever asked Him for, and many things I never had the wisdom to ask for, but needed all the same. I´m still learning, and I have a feeling that I will still be learning all my life, but I look back on those first stormy months and I feel content to know that we have grown and still love each other more every day. I don´t think I can really ask for more than that!
This week marks our 13 month anniversary. I was thinking about the quote above, and I think the truth is that the longer you are married, the more you find new reasons to fall in love with your spouse. I think all of the reasons I fell in love with Jairo are all still good reasons, but the longer we are married, the more I get to know him, the more we share experiences together, the more he changes and grows as a person...all of these things give me many new reasons to keep falling in love with him.
A lot of the girls in the youth group ask me about marriage, love, and things of that nature, and I am always the first to tell them that love as God designed it really has nothing to do with the feelings we have on a given day. Love is much more than a feeling; in reality is a decision that we have to make every day. If we look at 1 Corinthians 13, none of what is described has to do with feelings. Whenever I think I´m doing well I just open up the Bible to those verses and swallow my pride.(Love is patient, love is kind...) Still though, the feeling that the world calls love, and what we would refer to as being ¨in love¨, definitely helps make the decision to love someone much easier! The days that those loving feelings don´t come as easily are the days that loving a spouse becomes a sacrifice, and it´s difficult sometimes. The days that we do feel those lovey-dovey feelings, it´s much easier.
I guess what I´m saying is that I don´t need any other reason to love my husband than the promise I made to him and to God when we got married. Still, it´s easy to find lots of reasons to keep falling in love with him every day (almost always!).
More than a year into our marriage, what are some new things that I love about my husband that I did not know about him or share with him when we got married? The most obvious thing I can think of is our baby that is currently about 65% ready to be born! I can´t even begin to explain what I feel for Jairo when I think about this life we helped form together, especially when he does something like read a book to my belly or sing it songs. Seeing my husband become a father is and will be a whole new dimension to him as a person and to our relationship as well. I´m looking forward to seeing him in action when this little one arrives!
There are many other things I´ve learned about my husband in the past year or so. He loves to see me happy, and he will do anything, no matter how embarassing, to make me laugh. He is incredibly patient, especially with me. He has a lot of big dreams and I´ve learned that I can help him by simply believing in him and the things he wants to accomplish. He believes in me too, and is always quick to encourage me to pursue what I love and to try new things. He is much more talented than I ever realized in the beginning, and seems to grow more talented rather than just being content with what he already has. He loves silly jokes and he´s really funny, even sarcastic sometimes which is not actually too common in this culture (but I really appreciate it!). He´s really not like anyone else I know, except maybe a little like me in certain ways, and while he has many friends and loves to be with them, he doesn´t trust very many enough to share secrets with them...which makes me feel priveledged to be the one he confides in. He is very sensitive, especially to the needs and feelings of others, which makes him even better at the ministry. I could go on and on, but I think you get the idea. These are all things that I had yet to discover about my husband when we got married.
Of course, I could also make a list of the faults I didn´t know about, because getting to know someone implies that you get to know all of them, and not just the good side. But I always remember a saying I heard once, that says that the faults you find in others that most bother you are the faults you yourself have. I always think about that when something Jairo does starts to bother me. I think, if I were to go to him with this and complain, would he be able to call me a hypocrite? And the truth is that almost always I´ve found that saying to be true. And on top of that, I can find many other faults in myself that Jairo does not share. So when I´m tempted to complain, I start praying and asking God to show me where I need to change. That´s a good prayer if you need to be humbled, by the way.
What can I say? Another month has passed, and we are richer, if not in the material sense, in the sense that we have shared that many more moments together, gotten to know each other that much more, learned that much more, failed and succeeded that much more, and come to love each other more, both in the sentimental sense and in the sense of 1 Corinthians. I feel blessed, as I do every 24th of the month, to see how God has blessed me with everything I ever asked Him for, and many things I never had the wisdom to ask for, but needed all the same. I´m still learning, and I have a feeling that I will still be learning all my life, but I look back on those first stormy months and I feel content to know that we have grown and still love each other more every day. I don´t think I can really ask for more than that!
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Week 56: Date Night (or day) (week 25 of pregnancy)
Jairo and I never go out. A ministry schedule and salary don´t give us lots of opportunities, and we´re usually so tired we´d rather just stay home. I´m not complaining...I´m a homebody to be honest. I like being home with my husband, relaxing. Maybe that´s because we so seldom get to relax!
However, being forced to ¨rest¨ (a practice which I do not find in the least restful) and stay home all the time is really starting to get on my nerves. I mean, even a homebody likes to see the sun. My husband has been especially busy, so I have been more time home alone than usual and I just couldn´t take it anymore.
I called Jairo and told him to meet me at the mall. He asked why, but I told him to just do it. I think he could hear the lunatic edge on my voice and said he´d be right there. (He was heading home at the time.) When we met at the mall, he seemed amused and curious, and asked me why we were there. I informed him that we were going to eat out, get ice cream and go see a movie. Now.
I´m not sure if he liked the idea or could just read the desperation on my face, but he caved and we did everything on my list. I went home like a conquering hero, although I was surprised how exhausted I was after just a few hours out. (Maybe there´s something to this rest thing.)
It was a really fun day, and a much-needed break from the monotony of being stuck at home with a giant belly and not too much to do. I´m not sure how often I can get away with it--since it was the first time in a year that I actually demanded something, maybe I just caught Jairo off guard. I don´t think it will work again tomorrow...but you never know!
However, being forced to ¨rest¨ (a practice which I do not find in the least restful) and stay home all the time is really starting to get on my nerves. I mean, even a homebody likes to see the sun. My husband has been especially busy, so I have been more time home alone than usual and I just couldn´t take it anymore.
I called Jairo and told him to meet me at the mall. He asked why, but I told him to just do it. I think he could hear the lunatic edge on my voice and said he´d be right there. (He was heading home at the time.) When we met at the mall, he seemed amused and curious, and asked me why we were there. I informed him that we were going to eat out, get ice cream and go see a movie. Now.
I´m not sure if he liked the idea or could just read the desperation on my face, but he caved and we did everything on my list. I went home like a conquering hero, although I was surprised how exhausted I was after just a few hours out. (Maybe there´s something to this rest thing.)
It was a really fun day, and a much-needed break from the monotony of being stuck at home with a giant belly and not too much to do. I´m not sure how often I can get away with it--since it was the first time in a year that I actually demanded something, maybe I just caught Jairo off guard. I don´t think it will work again tomorrow...but you never know!
Week 56: The new edition of why I love Ecuador (week 25 of pregnancy)
Every once in a while I am absolutely shocked by some aspect of Ecuadorian culture. It´s not too often because I consider myself pretty used to Ecuador and Ecuadorians, but every so often, something comes up.
Jairo was at church and I stayed home, ordered by my husband to ¨get some rest¨. Right. So there is a knock at my door and there are my neighbors who live in the apartment under ours. I greet them, wondering why at 9pm they are knocking on my door. The husband begins a tirade almost instantly about the trash. Apparently he believes that we should take our one bag of trash down to the street today because, I don´t even know why honestly, even though the trash doesn´t come by until two days from now. ¨You should have taken it out yesterday¨ he informs me. What? (It wasn´t full yesterday. We´re only two people.)
I am unsure how to respond. He´s yelling at me know, as I try to comprehend why one innocent little bag of trash (not even the bad smelling kind) should cause such rage. The wife is looking at me sympathetically. I´m not sure if she came for his moral support or mine.
Trying to be calm I explain to him that I am actually 6 months pregnant, and seldom do I take the trash down the three flights of stairs to the street. This tends to be my husband´s area, and he is not home. Maybe my neighbor would like to come back when my husband is home?
No. He will not be appeased. He informs me that I had better give my husband a talking to and strongly encourage him to take the trash out. (Yes, because I so often give my husband a talking to.)
I calmly inform our neighbor that the trash will not be passing by for two days, and I´m certain that when it does my husband will take out the trash as he always does. (Am I in the twilight zone?? Or Punk´d?)
He now informs me that if I leave the trash there for two days it will attract flies, and the flies will go into his house, so I had better talk to my husband.
Now at the point of tears from having been yelled at for so many consecutive minutes about something so ridiculous, I lose it. ¨Are you kidding me?? Do you know how many times your dog has come up and pooped on my patio and you have never once come up here to clean it!! Do you think THAT doesn´t attract flies!!! Why are you here?? Go away!¨
His answer? ¨We decided to get rid of our dog.¨
Oh, well that just erases everything that just happened. Seriously, am I in an alternate universe?
Finally, unable to continue watching the massacre, his wife steps in. ¨Our dog won´t be a problem anymore because we no longer have her. I´m sorry about that. You, of course, are not in charge of taking the trash down, so if it becomes a problem, we´ll just help you take it down to the street. Don´t worry about it.¨ Then she gives her husband a look that says, ¨Please, let´s go now!¨
With that, they are gone. I close the door and stand in shocked silence for a few seconds until the tears start flowing. Angry, angry tears.
Now you know as much as I do. Does any part of this story make sense to you?
Jairo assures me that he will not let the neighbors talk to me like that again. Apparently the story made no sense to him either. He looked like he was ready to go down and talk to the neighbors, but I think we both know that no rational response would be effective. We both tried for a while to understand what the problem even was, before giving up and talking about something else.
I just think it should be obvious: This huge pregnant belly is here to tell you that I do not need any extra stress in my life. Who yells at a pregnant woman?
Jairo was at church and I stayed home, ordered by my husband to ¨get some rest¨. Right. So there is a knock at my door and there are my neighbors who live in the apartment under ours. I greet them, wondering why at 9pm they are knocking on my door. The husband begins a tirade almost instantly about the trash. Apparently he believes that we should take our one bag of trash down to the street today because, I don´t even know why honestly, even though the trash doesn´t come by until two days from now. ¨You should have taken it out yesterday¨ he informs me. What? (It wasn´t full yesterday. We´re only two people.)
I am unsure how to respond. He´s yelling at me know, as I try to comprehend why one innocent little bag of trash (not even the bad smelling kind) should cause such rage. The wife is looking at me sympathetically. I´m not sure if she came for his moral support or mine.
Trying to be calm I explain to him that I am actually 6 months pregnant, and seldom do I take the trash down the three flights of stairs to the street. This tends to be my husband´s area, and he is not home. Maybe my neighbor would like to come back when my husband is home?
No. He will not be appeased. He informs me that I had better give my husband a talking to and strongly encourage him to take the trash out. (Yes, because I so often give my husband a talking to.)
I calmly inform our neighbor that the trash will not be passing by for two days, and I´m certain that when it does my husband will take out the trash as he always does. (Am I in the twilight zone?? Or Punk´d?)
He now informs me that if I leave the trash there for two days it will attract flies, and the flies will go into his house, so I had better talk to my husband.
Now at the point of tears from having been yelled at for so many consecutive minutes about something so ridiculous, I lose it. ¨Are you kidding me?? Do you know how many times your dog has come up and pooped on my patio and you have never once come up here to clean it!! Do you think THAT doesn´t attract flies!!! Why are you here?? Go away!¨
His answer? ¨We decided to get rid of our dog.¨
Oh, well that just erases everything that just happened. Seriously, am I in an alternate universe?
Finally, unable to continue watching the massacre, his wife steps in. ¨Our dog won´t be a problem anymore because we no longer have her. I´m sorry about that. You, of course, are not in charge of taking the trash down, so if it becomes a problem, we´ll just help you take it down to the street. Don´t worry about it.¨ Then she gives her husband a look that says, ¨Please, let´s go now!¨
With that, they are gone. I close the door and stand in shocked silence for a few seconds until the tears start flowing. Angry, angry tears.
Now you know as much as I do. Does any part of this story make sense to you?
Jairo assures me that he will not let the neighbors talk to me like that again. Apparently the story made no sense to him either. He looked like he was ready to go down and talk to the neighbors, but I think we both know that no rational response would be effective. We both tried for a while to understand what the problem even was, before giving up and talking about something else.
I just think it should be obvious: This huge pregnant belly is here to tell you that I do not need any extra stress in my life. Who yells at a pregnant woman?
Week 55: Road trip! (week 24 of pregnancy)
We were invited to Puyo for a special youth service a while ago, and the drama team has been preparing a special drama for the event. It´s a drama with music that Jairo invented, and it´s really cool! I didn´t get to be a part of it thanks to my expanding midsection and had to content myself with being cheerleader, but the drama turned out really great. It´s fun to see Jairo get all excited about things like this. They had lots and lots of special practices leading up to the date, and were very excited because it was their first performance outside of church! When we finally got to Puyo everything went really well, and the drama went perfectly! I was really proud of Jairo for the way he led the group during the trip, since it was really the first time we took them anywhere.
After the youth service we stayed another two days in Puyo. The first day we went with the Church of God in Puyo to a river and cooked out, swam and had fun! It was a challenge with some of the girls because of modesty issues, and I made a mental note to make sure this was a clear conversation point BEFORE the trip next time. Hindsight, right? I think I might even make some written agreements!! Still, it was a lot of fun. The river was beautiful and it felt amazing to swim and not feel my heavy belly for a while!
The next day we headed back to Quito, but stopped with the youth group in Baños at the zoo there. It was a fun trip, and I got to see lots of weird Ecuadorian animals. I had a brain dead moment at one point because we were looking at some cougar-like animal and it was so adorable, it didn´t even look real. It looked like a stuffed animal. So it walked by the doorway which had these little slits in it, and I could not resist and put my hand in to try to touch it. Jairo totally freaked out and grabbed me away, yelling ¨What are you doing?!?¨ while I just stared at him and said, ¨I just wanted to pet it!¨ His reply was to remind me that this was not like one of my bunnies, but rather a meat-eating deadly animal. Whatever, I bet it wouldn´t have bit me. I also got my picture taken with a boa constrictor, to which Jairo also objected but later gave in to me on. It was pretty cool!!
I did decide, however, that this would be my last long trip pre-baby. It was really challenging to travel, and to be in a different climate (Puyo is more jungle-like). I´m really glad I went, but I know that in a few weeks I will be even bigger and more pregnant, and this is only going to get more difficult, so from now until baby I think I will be staying home! Still, it was a really cool trip, and I hope we get to go again sometime soon (post-baby, of course!).
After the youth service we stayed another two days in Puyo. The first day we went with the Church of God in Puyo to a river and cooked out, swam and had fun! It was a challenge with some of the girls because of modesty issues, and I made a mental note to make sure this was a clear conversation point BEFORE the trip next time. Hindsight, right? I think I might even make some written agreements!! Still, it was a lot of fun. The river was beautiful and it felt amazing to swim and not feel my heavy belly for a while!
The next day we headed back to Quito, but stopped with the youth group in Baños at the zoo there. It was a fun trip, and I got to see lots of weird Ecuadorian animals. I had a brain dead moment at one point because we were looking at some cougar-like animal and it was so adorable, it didn´t even look real. It looked like a stuffed animal. So it walked by the doorway which had these little slits in it, and I could not resist and put my hand in to try to touch it. Jairo totally freaked out and grabbed me away, yelling ¨What are you doing?!?¨ while I just stared at him and said, ¨I just wanted to pet it!¨ His reply was to remind me that this was not like one of my bunnies, but rather a meat-eating deadly animal. Whatever, I bet it wouldn´t have bit me. I also got my picture taken with a boa constrictor, to which Jairo also objected but later gave in to me on. It was pretty cool!!
I did decide, however, that this would be my last long trip pre-baby. It was really challenging to travel, and to be in a different climate (Puyo is more jungle-like). I´m really glad I went, but I know that in a few weeks I will be even bigger and more pregnant, and this is only going to get more difficult, so from now until baby I think I will be staying home! Still, it was a really cool trip, and I hope we get to go again sometime soon (post-baby, of course!).
Week 54: I thought this day would never come! Really! (week 23 of pregnancy)
As I say in the title, I really, really thought this day would never come, but we finally got all the paperwork straightened out and today they gave me my censo and cedula...in other words, I have my residency in Ecuador forever and ever!! Praise God! I really thought that this would be just another pointless trip to immigration for them to charge me more money for nonsense things, and I was pretty discouraged. But, as is my custom, I asked God to please please make this time count, because I really wanted to have everything done before baby comes so that there will be no problems getting his or her dual citizenship taken care of. I asked, and as usual, God delivered! I smiled like an idiot in the censo picture, way too happy to control myself, but I got my emotions under control enough to have a serious expression in my cedula picture, since Ecuadorians do not typically smile in pictures. I didn´t want to be the only weirdo with a smily ID card.
I cannot begin to thank all of you who have faithfully prayed for this day for so long! Not to mention all of you who have supported us in our ministry and helped to see us through the ups and downs of all this immigration business. Thank you so much. I know the power of your prayers because I feel it every day of my life here in Ecuador. Praise God for this victory!
I cannot begin to thank all of you who have faithfully prayed for this day for so long! Not to mention all of you who have supported us in our ministry and helped to see us through the ups and downs of all this immigration business. Thank you so much. I know the power of your prayers because I feel it every day of my life here in Ecuador. Praise God for this victory!
Week 54: A real movie premiere! (week 23 of pregnancy)
We had the opportunity to attend the premiere of the movie ¨Poema de Salvación¨, put out by Canzion. It´s a Christian movie, and the goal was to make a movie as good of quality as any other movie that comes out in theaters, since Christian movies tend to be more made-for-tv quality. It is a movie based on the life of Pablo Olivares, a Christian singer who used to be a death metal rocker who made a deal with the devil (for real) and was becoming a star in Argentina until a series of events led him back to Christ. His conversion is thanks mostly to the prayers of his mother over many years, and he is now a great Christian artist.
A neat surprise was that Marcos Witt was at the premiere. Marcos Witt, if you don´t know, is probably the single most influential Christian singer in Latin America. He is also a pastor at Lakewood Church in Texas, where I believe Joel Olstein is also pastor. Marcos Witt is pastor for the Spanish-speaking services. He´s an incredibly neat person, and we got to meet him, so that was pretty cool.
The movie was really neat, and I think God will be able to use it to touch a lot of lives. Marcos Witt talked about the movie after the premiere and he said that their goal is to make many more high quality Christian movies, because Christians should be doing things even better than the world does them. Since our generation and the younger generations are so visual, movies like this one and like the Passion, for example, have an incredible potential for evangelism.
If you notice this movie in theaters near you (I asked and they said it would be released later in the US) I would encourage you to go so it. Not only is it a great movie and a very interesting story, it´s a great effort by many Christian people and I think we should all try to support it!!
A neat surprise was that Marcos Witt was at the premiere. Marcos Witt, if you don´t know, is probably the single most influential Christian singer in Latin America. He is also a pastor at Lakewood Church in Texas, where I believe Joel Olstein is also pastor. Marcos Witt is pastor for the Spanish-speaking services. He´s an incredibly neat person, and we got to meet him, so that was pretty cool.
The movie was really neat, and I think God will be able to use it to touch a lot of lives. Marcos Witt talked about the movie after the premiere and he said that their goal is to make many more high quality Christian movies, because Christians should be doing things even better than the world does them. Since our generation and the younger generations are so visual, movies like this one and like the Passion, for example, have an incredible potential for evangelism.
If you notice this movie in theaters near you (I asked and they said it would be released later in the US) I would encourage you to go so it. Not only is it a great movie and a very interesting story, it´s a great effort by many Christian people and I think we should all try to support it!!
Week 54: A Cool Challenge (week 23 of pregnancy)
I wanted to share this with anyone who might be interested. It is a plan for reading the Bible in 3 months, and I am going to do it! I was looking online for a Bible reading plan, but I felt bored with the ones that make you read in a year because I am used to reading more than just a chapter or two a day. Still, I wanted some kind of guide because my reading lately has felt kind of aimless. Well, I found this, so here is the link. On the references page on the right hand side you will see a column that says ¨free downloads¨. Click on ¨bookmark¨ and you will find the plan. Then just print it out and there you go! If you decide to do the plan, let me know!!
Week 53: A possible soccer player? (week 22 of pregnancy)
So, I am increasingly amazed by the strength and force that my unborn child possesses. I would really not be surprised if I had some broken bones by the time labor comes around. I´m thinking that maybe we have a future athlete on our hands.
My mom says that I was a very active baby, and when the time came for me to be born, I was born very quickly. So, maybe this is a sign that our little munchkin is rearing to get out and will have a speedy delivery! A mom can hope, right?
It´s funny how the novelty of pregnancy starts to wear off the longer it goes on. Even the little movements that you used to be thrilled by start to get on your nerves after a while. After all, those kicks start hurting! And baby hiccups are only cute maybe once or twice. Then they are just annoying.
Still, I remind myself that this is the only time in my life when I will have an experience like this. The next time I get pregnant, I will already have another child to look after and my pregnancy experience will be much different. For one thing I imagine that it will include much less rest! I´m trying to enjoy the bonding I can do with the baby now, because I know I will never have this chance again. For nine months I get this little one all to myself, but after that I will never have him or her so close again! I will have to share this baby with the world! Or at least with relatives.
I will say this, though. Sometimes Jairo will come into our room and start singing with the guitar, and it never fails that this little one starts moving and grooving, and I love the fact that baby knows daddy´s voice...and it´s not a bad sign that he or she likes music, because that is pretty much a requirement in this family! I can´t wait to find out what else baby likes!
My mom says that I was a very active baby, and when the time came for me to be born, I was born very quickly. So, maybe this is a sign that our little munchkin is rearing to get out and will have a speedy delivery! A mom can hope, right?
It´s funny how the novelty of pregnancy starts to wear off the longer it goes on. Even the little movements that you used to be thrilled by start to get on your nerves after a while. After all, those kicks start hurting! And baby hiccups are only cute maybe once or twice. Then they are just annoying.
Still, I remind myself that this is the only time in my life when I will have an experience like this. The next time I get pregnant, I will already have another child to look after and my pregnancy experience will be much different. For one thing I imagine that it will include much less rest! I´m trying to enjoy the bonding I can do with the baby now, because I know I will never have this chance again. For nine months I get this little one all to myself, but after that I will never have him or her so close again! I will have to share this baby with the world! Or at least with relatives.
I will say this, though. Sometimes Jairo will come into our room and start singing with the guitar, and it never fails that this little one starts moving and grooving, and I love the fact that baby knows daddy´s voice...and it´s not a bad sign that he or she likes music, because that is pretty much a requirement in this family! I can´t wait to find out what else baby likes!
Week 52: Are you doing the math? (week 21 of pregnancy)
If you saw what week we are in, and you did some quick math in your head, you probably already know what this post is about. This week is our one year anniversary!! One year!!
I decided to make Jairo something special for our anniversary. I tossed around several ideas, but eventually decided to go with this: I made a sort of news magazine, filled with stories and pictures from things that had happened during the year, from the perspective of a paparazzi, as though we were some famous couple. The title story was ¨The happy couple celebrates one year of marriage, and all of Ecuador can´t believe it!¨
It is safe to say that here in Ecuador our marriage was nothing less than a scandal. No one believed we would make it two days, let alone a year! I, being North American, am supposedly a sus-standard wife. I do un-wifely things like use a potato peeler instead of a knife to peel potatoes and have even been known to cook foods that are not Ecuadorian from time to time. Oh, the horror!
It was hard at first, with so many people being against me, but I learned the importance of relying on God and keeping your marriage issues in your marriage. Ecuador is an especially gossippy culture, and I have been careful not to air out my dirty laundry. While wives here (and I suspect in most places) take every opportunity to discuss their every problem with each other and complain about their husbands, Jairo and I have the strict policy of keeping things between us, good and bad. We are very private, which I think is something most people here don´t like because they don´t have as much to gossip about, but it has been a marriage-saver. When I talk about my husband to others, it doesn´t matter whether or not we are getting along. I know that even on his worst days my husband is a good man, with many good qualities, and those are the only things I talk about. I don´t complain about him. After all, how would that look to God when just the other day I was thanking Him for giving me such a great husband? No one needs to know about the ups and downs of our marriage. And as a woman trying to be a woman of good character, I do my best to honor my husband, whether or not he is present.
If there is one thing that has kept us afloat on the difficult things, I think this is it. We honor and respect each other. And of course, we love each other. But every married couple knows that some days you don´t feel the warm and fuzzies. On those days, it is my love for God and my respect for my husband that keep me trying hard to make things work. I don´t mind forgiving him quickly, even for big mistakes, because I prefer to be happy with him than angry for something he already apologized for. I don´t mind taking the blame sometimes even when I know it´s not my fault, because I would rather be at peace than be right. I don´t mind putting him before myself, because I find that when I do, he does the same, and we both get taken care of. I don´t mind fighting once in a while because I think it´s a good sign we are both still two people with pulses. I don´t mind sacrificing some things, I don´t mind losing, and I don´t mind that he has faults that he is not quick to change--because so do I!
All of these things are learned, by the way, the product of 365 days of learning. I suspect that in 365 more days, I will have a whole new list of things I´ve learned, because I don´t think you learn as much in all of formal education as you do in one week of marriage.
At the end of the day, I can´t think of anything I love more than cuddling up with my husband, feeling all that love well up inside of me, and seeing on his face that he feels it to. Isn´t it worth some rough times as long as you get to feel that?
I decided to make Jairo something special for our anniversary. I tossed around several ideas, but eventually decided to go with this: I made a sort of news magazine, filled with stories and pictures from things that had happened during the year, from the perspective of a paparazzi, as though we were some famous couple. The title story was ¨The happy couple celebrates one year of marriage, and all of Ecuador can´t believe it!¨
It is safe to say that here in Ecuador our marriage was nothing less than a scandal. No one believed we would make it two days, let alone a year! I, being North American, am supposedly a sus-standard wife. I do un-wifely things like use a potato peeler instead of a knife to peel potatoes and have even been known to cook foods that are not Ecuadorian from time to time. Oh, the horror!
It was hard at first, with so many people being against me, but I learned the importance of relying on God and keeping your marriage issues in your marriage. Ecuador is an especially gossippy culture, and I have been careful not to air out my dirty laundry. While wives here (and I suspect in most places) take every opportunity to discuss their every problem with each other and complain about their husbands, Jairo and I have the strict policy of keeping things between us, good and bad. We are very private, which I think is something most people here don´t like because they don´t have as much to gossip about, but it has been a marriage-saver. When I talk about my husband to others, it doesn´t matter whether or not we are getting along. I know that even on his worst days my husband is a good man, with many good qualities, and those are the only things I talk about. I don´t complain about him. After all, how would that look to God when just the other day I was thanking Him for giving me such a great husband? No one needs to know about the ups and downs of our marriage. And as a woman trying to be a woman of good character, I do my best to honor my husband, whether or not he is present.
If there is one thing that has kept us afloat on the difficult things, I think this is it. We honor and respect each other. And of course, we love each other. But every married couple knows that some days you don´t feel the warm and fuzzies. On those days, it is my love for God and my respect for my husband that keep me trying hard to make things work. I don´t mind forgiving him quickly, even for big mistakes, because I prefer to be happy with him than angry for something he already apologized for. I don´t mind taking the blame sometimes even when I know it´s not my fault, because I would rather be at peace than be right. I don´t mind putting him before myself, because I find that when I do, he does the same, and we both get taken care of. I don´t mind fighting once in a while because I think it´s a good sign we are both still two people with pulses. I don´t mind sacrificing some things, I don´t mind losing, and I don´t mind that he has faults that he is not quick to change--because so do I!
All of these things are learned, by the way, the product of 365 days of learning. I suspect that in 365 more days, I will have a whole new list of things I´ve learned, because I don´t think you learn as much in all of formal education as you do in one week of marriage.
At the end of the day, I can´t think of anything I love more than cuddling up with my husband, feeling all that love well up inside of me, and seeing on his face that he feels it to. Isn´t it worth some rough times as long as you get to feel that?
Week 52: More proof of life in the womb (week 21 of pregnancy)
My dad went home this week, but before he did we got to see more of my favorite thing: our baby! This time it wasn´t just a heartbeat...we had our very first ultrasound.
The baby was not at all inclined to let us see if it is a boy or a girl. In fact, during the ultrasound it crossed its little legs, and no matter how the doctor tried to move the baby around, nothing worked. But we did get to see our baby, which was more than enough. The doctor even showed us the baby´s little hands and feet, and counted the fingers and toes...everything was perfect.
If hearing the heartbeat was a confirmation of pregnancy, seeing the ultrasound was so much beyond that. First of all it was a relief to know that everything is developing perfectly and we have a healthy little baby, who is exactly the right size. It was amazing to see that little heart pumping away, and I tried to imagine what it would look like if I could see inside for real and not just in black and white 2D. Again it amazed me to think that I have done absolutely nothing for this baby to develop, yet there it is, developing perfectly, hitting every milestone right on target.
It might sound weird, but it was really neat to see the spine. It was neat because it´s the one thing on the ultrasound that you see and you know without a doubt what it is. Every other part you think to yourself, I think that´s a...until the doctor tells you for sure. To think that those little parts will keep growing, and soon enough I will be holding them and kissing them!
I´ve been able to feel the baby move for a long time now, but the more baby grows the more I can feel (which is sometimes not a good thing!), and that combined with seeing the baby on the ultrasound is enough to make you feel something special for this little creature growing inside of you. At this point I think the maternal bond is more of an instinctual thing, a desire to protect the baby and a hope that everything will be fine. I think once the baby is born and we get to know each other, that relationship will probably continue to mature and grow during his or her whole life. To think that I could feel more love for this baby than I do right now seems almost impossible, but I´m pretty convinced that that´s the way it will be. I can´t wait to get to know this little person, to see his or her face, and to know that unlike all those other adorable babies out there, this baby has a quality that none of those have...this baby is ours!
The baby was not at all inclined to let us see if it is a boy or a girl. In fact, during the ultrasound it crossed its little legs, and no matter how the doctor tried to move the baby around, nothing worked. But we did get to see our baby, which was more than enough. The doctor even showed us the baby´s little hands and feet, and counted the fingers and toes...everything was perfect.
If hearing the heartbeat was a confirmation of pregnancy, seeing the ultrasound was so much beyond that. First of all it was a relief to know that everything is developing perfectly and we have a healthy little baby, who is exactly the right size. It was amazing to see that little heart pumping away, and I tried to imagine what it would look like if I could see inside for real and not just in black and white 2D. Again it amazed me to think that I have done absolutely nothing for this baby to develop, yet there it is, developing perfectly, hitting every milestone right on target.
It might sound weird, but it was really neat to see the spine. It was neat because it´s the one thing on the ultrasound that you see and you know without a doubt what it is. Every other part you think to yourself, I think that´s a...until the doctor tells you for sure. To think that those little parts will keep growing, and soon enough I will be holding them and kissing them!
I´ve been able to feel the baby move for a long time now, but the more baby grows the more I can feel (which is sometimes not a good thing!), and that combined with seeing the baby on the ultrasound is enough to make you feel something special for this little creature growing inside of you. At this point I think the maternal bond is more of an instinctual thing, a desire to protect the baby and a hope that everything will be fine. I think once the baby is born and we get to know each other, that relationship will probably continue to mature and grow during his or her whole life. To think that I could feel more love for this baby than I do right now seems almost impossible, but I´m pretty convinced that that´s the way it will be. I can´t wait to get to know this little person, to see his or her face, and to know that unlike all those other adorable babies out there, this baby has a quality that none of those have...this baby is ours!
Week 51: Something to think about (week 20 of pregnancy)
I mentioned in my other post that we went to Ibarra to see our friend Fausto. While we were there talking he told us this illustration which I really liked and I thought I would share with you all!
Two Christian friends were talking one day, and the one asked the other, "How exactly are we supposed to look for God? I mean, I pray for a little while, and then I don't really have anything else to say, and that's pretty much it. I don't really feel like I've "found God", I just feel like I talked for a while." The other friend thought for a moment and replied, "You have a son in kindergarten, right? Well, let's say that every day your son comes home on the bus at noon. What would you do if it was already 12:30 and your son was nowhere to be found?"
"Well, I would go and look for him, of course!" replied the first friend.
"And if you didn't find him by 1pm?"
"I would keep looking!"
"But if he didn't show up by 2pm you would probably just say, 'Oh well, maybe he'll show up tomorrow. I'm tired of looking', right?"
"No, of course not! I would keep looking for my son until I found him, even if it took all night!"
If you or I couldn't find a loved one, we would worry. We would call people who might have seen them, we would get in our car and go to places where they might be, and we might even call the police after not finding them for a while. The search would be an intense one, because we love the person and we wouldn't be able to rest without knowing where they are. Why is it, then, that when it comes to searching for God, we look for maybe ten, fifteen, even thirty minutes, then shrug our shoulders and say, "Oh well, maybe He'll show up tomorrow!"? In what ways would our lives change if we looked for God every day until He shows up? Until we can tangibly feel His presence? What if we were willing to look for God all day if that's what it took?
The Bible says that God can still be found by those who seek Him, and it warns that it will not always be this way. We should take the advice in the verse above and seek God with all our hearts until we find Him.
Two Christian friends were talking one day, and the one asked the other, "How exactly are we supposed to look for God? I mean, I pray for a little while, and then I don't really have anything else to say, and that's pretty much it. I don't really feel like I've "found God", I just feel like I talked for a while." The other friend thought for a moment and replied, "You have a son in kindergarten, right? Well, let's say that every day your son comes home on the bus at noon. What would you do if it was already 12:30 and your son was nowhere to be found?"
"Well, I would go and look for him, of course!" replied the first friend.
"And if you didn't find him by 1pm?"
"I would keep looking!"
"But if he didn't show up by 2pm you would probably just say, 'Oh well, maybe he'll show up tomorrow. I'm tired of looking', right?"
"No, of course not! I would keep looking for my son until I found him, even if it took all night!"
If you or I couldn't find a loved one, we would worry. We would call people who might have seen them, we would get in our car and go to places where they might be, and we might even call the police after not finding them for a while. The search would be an intense one, because we love the person and we wouldn't be able to rest without knowing where they are. Why is it, then, that when it comes to searching for God, we look for maybe ten, fifteen, even thirty minutes, then shrug our shoulders and say, "Oh well, maybe He'll show up tomorrow!"? In what ways would our lives change if we looked for God every day until He shows up? Until we can tangibly feel His presence? What if we were willing to look for God all day if that's what it took?
The Bible says that God can still be found by those who seek Him, and it warns that it will not always be this way. We should take the advice in the verse above and seek God with all our hearts until we find Him.
Week 51: More quality time with dad (week 20 of pregnancy)
My dad is still here visiting us, and we´ve been enjoying his company a lot. My in-laws came to Quito to see my dad while he´s here, especially to hear him preach at the youth service. I translated for him again, and the youth seemed to really enjoy the message. I was relieved at how easy it was to translate, mostly because my dad is not a motor mouth, because I was little worried beforehand that I wouldn´t be able to do it.
We got to hear the heartbeat again, and my dad got to be in the room for that, so that was something special. The next time he´s here he´ll get to hold the baby! That just blows my mind to think about!!
We decided to go up to Ibarra for the day to surprise our friend Fausto for his birthday. My dad had never been to that part of Ecuador and I wanted to take him to see the volcano up there. We stopped at Otavalo at the market so he could buy some souvenirs. The volcano was pretty overcast so we couldn´t see the top of it, which disapopinted me, but my dad seemed happy enough to take pictures from the lookout. We ate lunch and birthday cake with Fausto´s family and visited for a while with them and then went to the volcano lookout and to a lagoon before heading home. It was a really nice day and it was great to see our friends. My dad seemed to really like Fausto and his family a lot, in spite of language differences, and I was glad he got to meet their family since they have been my closest friends here in Ecuador. It´s always nice when the people you love get to know the other people you love!
My dad´s time here is coming to a close and I am going to miss him a lot. I´m really glad he got to come, I just wish he didn´t have to go! The nice thing is that he will back with my mom in just a few months once the baby is born. They´re planning to visit sometime in June, so it makes it a little easier knowing that. It has been such a nice visit!
We got to hear the heartbeat again, and my dad got to be in the room for that, so that was something special. The next time he´s here he´ll get to hold the baby! That just blows my mind to think about!!
We decided to go up to Ibarra for the day to surprise our friend Fausto for his birthday. My dad had never been to that part of Ecuador and I wanted to take him to see the volcano up there. We stopped at Otavalo at the market so he could buy some souvenirs. The volcano was pretty overcast so we couldn´t see the top of it, which disapopinted me, but my dad seemed happy enough to take pictures from the lookout. We ate lunch and birthday cake with Fausto´s family and visited for a while with them and then went to the volcano lookout and to a lagoon before heading home. It was a really nice day and it was great to see our friends. My dad seemed to really like Fausto and his family a lot, in spite of language differences, and I was glad he got to meet their family since they have been my closest friends here in Ecuador. It´s always nice when the people you love get to know the other people you love!
My dad´s time here is coming to a close and I am going to miss him a lot. I´m really glad he got to come, I just wish he didn´t have to go! The nice thing is that he will back with my mom in just a few months once the baby is born. They´re planning to visit sometime in June, so it makes it a little easier knowing that. It has been such a nice visit!
Week 50: A special visitor (week 19 of pregnancy)
This week my dad got here! My mom was going to come too, but had some health problems and was not cleared to fly. I was sad she didn´t get to come, but I was still super excited to get to see my dad after almost a whole year!
He came with a few huge suitcases, none of which had any of his stuff in them. They were full of gifts for us, clothes for me, baby stuff, food, etc. It was a lot of fun opening up the suitcases, especially since there was way more stuff than I ever expected. I was especially excited about the maternity clothes, since I was just starting to freak out now that my clothes are getting tight! He brought some wrapped gifts too, to be opened in a few days when we can Skype my mom so she can see us open the gifts. Still, even with all the gifts, the best part was definitely getting to see my dad again, and it was a cool feeling to be able to have him in my home, since before I had never had my own home! Now that we are established as a couple, with our ruitines and our own habits, it was nice to have my dad be a part of that.
The pastor had invited my dad to preach the second Sunday that he is here, but apparently got confused about the dates and had actually booked my dad for the first Sunday he was here, just the morning after he got in. We didn´t know this until we arrived at church, about 10 minutes before the service. The pastor, being Ecuadorian, didn´t see why it should be a big deal that my dad had not had time to prepare anything and basically insisted on my dad preaching on the fly. My dad took a few minutes, got together a message, and preached with me translating. 5 people got saved after the message! It was amazing to see God use him in that way, in the moment when he probably felt the least prepared and useful. I think he will probably think twice about accepting a preaching invitation from my pastor again, though!
My dad also decided to take us out to eat to Papa John´s, and I had not eaten there in years, so it was absolutely delicious!! My dad, who doesn´t normally eat Papa John´s in the US, was pretty impressed with their pizza and announced after dinner that we would definitely be returning there to eat again before he goes home. There were no objections! It was a first for Jairo, who also really liked it.
Besides that, we have been hanging out, talking and watching movies, and it has been a lot of fun. My dad is pretty laid back and easy to please, so we don´t have to do a whole lot to have fun together, which is nice. He and Jairo seem to get a kick out of each other despite the language barrier, and it´s cool to see them relating to each other. I´m really glad my dad is here, and I´m trying to convince him to stay a little longer!!
He came with a few huge suitcases, none of which had any of his stuff in them. They were full of gifts for us, clothes for me, baby stuff, food, etc. It was a lot of fun opening up the suitcases, especially since there was way more stuff than I ever expected. I was especially excited about the maternity clothes, since I was just starting to freak out now that my clothes are getting tight! He brought some wrapped gifts too, to be opened in a few days when we can Skype my mom so she can see us open the gifts. Still, even with all the gifts, the best part was definitely getting to see my dad again, and it was a cool feeling to be able to have him in my home, since before I had never had my own home! Now that we are established as a couple, with our ruitines and our own habits, it was nice to have my dad be a part of that.
The pastor had invited my dad to preach the second Sunday that he is here, but apparently got confused about the dates and had actually booked my dad for the first Sunday he was here, just the morning after he got in. We didn´t know this until we arrived at church, about 10 minutes before the service. The pastor, being Ecuadorian, didn´t see why it should be a big deal that my dad had not had time to prepare anything and basically insisted on my dad preaching on the fly. My dad took a few minutes, got together a message, and preached with me translating. 5 people got saved after the message! It was amazing to see God use him in that way, in the moment when he probably felt the least prepared and useful. I think he will probably think twice about accepting a preaching invitation from my pastor again, though!
My dad also decided to take us out to eat to Papa John´s, and I had not eaten there in years, so it was absolutely delicious!! My dad, who doesn´t normally eat Papa John´s in the US, was pretty impressed with their pizza and announced after dinner that we would definitely be returning there to eat again before he goes home. There were no objections! It was a first for Jairo, who also really liked it.
Besides that, we have been hanging out, talking and watching movies, and it has been a lot of fun. My dad is pretty laid back and easy to please, so we don´t have to do a whole lot to have fun together, which is nice. He and Jairo seem to get a kick out of each other despite the language barrier, and it´s cool to see them relating to each other. I´m really glad my dad is here, and I´m trying to convince him to stay a little longer!!
Week 49: New Years (week 18 of pregnancy)
We decided to spend New Year´s in Puyo with Jairo´s family. We had a nice visit, and really it was nice to get away and relax a little after a very busy December.
There is never really that much to report about visits to Puyo because life moves so slowly down there, and we never do much of anything except hanging out. It´s a welcome change from the faster-paced life we live in Quito.
One thing that Jairo did while we were there is build some shelves, a cabinet and a TV stand for the apartment. His dad has a workshop there in their house, so he used his dad´s tools and drew up some simple designs and went to work. It was fun to watch him because he´s very artistic, and these kinds of things are easy for him. My dad always made furniture for our house, so I feel like in some way Jairo making furniture is only fitting, since in my mind that is just something a husband does! It all turned out really nice, and we brought the pieces back to Quito to stain and put together.
Aside from that, the only real development is that I officially have a ¨baby bump¨. It´s not something anyone would notice who doesn´t know me, of course, but it´s funny to see this little bump where my stomach used to be flat. I always think of pregnant bellies as those big round ones, but right now the ¨bump¨ only reaches as far as my belly button, which is pretty weird to look at! I can´t imagine what it will be like to have a big, round belly, but to be honest I would like to start showing more, just so I will look more pregnant than fat! I´m sure I´ll feel differently once I actually have the big belly, but for now I am looking forward to it. Soon enough the baby will arrive, but it still seems so far away! I guess that could be a good thing, though, because we have a lot of preparing to do before the big day.
There is never really that much to report about visits to Puyo because life moves so slowly down there, and we never do much of anything except hanging out. It´s a welcome change from the faster-paced life we live in Quito.
One thing that Jairo did while we were there is build some shelves, a cabinet and a TV stand for the apartment. His dad has a workshop there in their house, so he used his dad´s tools and drew up some simple designs and went to work. It was fun to watch him because he´s very artistic, and these kinds of things are easy for him. My dad always made furniture for our house, so I feel like in some way Jairo making furniture is only fitting, since in my mind that is just something a husband does! It all turned out really nice, and we brought the pieces back to Quito to stain and put together.
Aside from that, the only real development is that I officially have a ¨baby bump¨. It´s not something anyone would notice who doesn´t know me, of course, but it´s funny to see this little bump where my stomach used to be flat. I always think of pregnant bellies as those big round ones, but right now the ¨bump¨ only reaches as far as my belly button, which is pretty weird to look at! I can´t imagine what it will be like to have a big, round belly, but to be honest I would like to start showing more, just so I will look more pregnant than fat! I´m sure I´ll feel differently once I actually have the big belly, but for now I am looking forward to it. Soon enough the baby will arrive, but it still seems so far away! I guess that could be a good thing, though, because we have a lot of preparing to do before the big day.
Week 48: Christmas! (week 17 of pregnancy)
Merry Christmas!!
Christmas is by far my favorite day of the year. It has been ever since I was little. This Christmas was somewhat bittersweet since I didn´t get to spend it with my family back home, but even so it was a beautiful day!
It was our first married Christmas. We preserved a lot of the traditions I have from my family, like reading the Christmas story from Luke 2 and getting up early on Christmas morning. We bought most of our gifts together, but we still wrapped them and we both threw in a couple of surprise gifts, too. It was a lot of fun!
What I most like about Christmas is what Christmas really means. I´m always amazed to think about the significance of this day for humanity, and for me personally. That baby didn´t stay a baby forever. He grew up and became the Savior of the world, and to think that God himself would come to dwell among us, trading in his glory to live as a human, in all our frailty and suffering. As if his life were not sacrifice enough, his death was horrific on every level, in ways that our human minds can´t even understand. Yet he did all this willingly, knowing that it was the only way to save us and loving us too much to let us spend an eternity in hell.
I´m a big fan of family get togethers and Christmas gifts, not to mention Christmas traditions, but I think there´s a danger that we might just forget the real meaning of Christmas behind all the lights and ornaments. Christmas is the one day of the year that should give us the most joy, not because of presents or loved ones, but because without this day, we would have been lost forever, hopeless, with no real purpose to our lives. Now, thanks to this day, thanks to God who decided to become one of us, we can live lives of abundance! What day could be better than this one?
Christmas is by far my favorite day of the year. It has been ever since I was little. This Christmas was somewhat bittersweet since I didn´t get to spend it with my family back home, but even so it was a beautiful day!
It was our first married Christmas. We preserved a lot of the traditions I have from my family, like reading the Christmas story from Luke 2 and getting up early on Christmas morning. We bought most of our gifts together, but we still wrapped them and we both threw in a couple of surprise gifts, too. It was a lot of fun!
What I most like about Christmas is what Christmas really means. I´m always amazed to think about the significance of this day for humanity, and for me personally. That baby didn´t stay a baby forever. He grew up and became the Savior of the world, and to think that God himself would come to dwell among us, trading in his glory to live as a human, in all our frailty and suffering. As if his life were not sacrifice enough, his death was horrific on every level, in ways that our human minds can´t even understand. Yet he did all this willingly, knowing that it was the only way to save us and loving us too much to let us spend an eternity in hell.
I´m a big fan of family get togethers and Christmas gifts, not to mention Christmas traditions, but I think there´s a danger that we might just forget the real meaning of Christmas behind all the lights and ornaments. Christmas is the one day of the year that should give us the most joy, not because of presents or loved ones, but because without this day, we would have been lost forever, hopeless, with no real purpose to our lives. Now, thanks to this day, thanks to God who decided to become one of us, we can live lives of abundance! What day could be better than this one?
Week 48: Eleven months married (week 17 of pregnancy)
This Christmas Eve was our 11 month anniversary...just shy of a year! As always, I´m amazed at how quickly the time passes. Was it really almost one year ago that we got married? In some ways it feels like it was just yesterday, but when I think about all the memories, the struggles, the lessons learned and the ways we´ve grown, it almost seems like it has been much longer than 11 months.
I can´t think of a better Christmas gift than the wonderful marriage that God has blessed me with! And to think that soon we will have a baby to share that love with, in a new and special way...I am truly blessed, and extremely thankful on days like these for the richness of life that I experience that has nothing to do with riches.
I can´t think of a better Christmas gift than the wonderful marriage that God has blessed me with! And to think that soon we will have a baby to share that love with, in a new and special way...I am truly blessed, and extremely thankful on days like these for the richness of life that I experience that has nothing to do with riches.
Week 47: A little bit of home (week 16 of pregnancy)
Jairo and I were walking around the mall in the north of Quito, which we never do because we live so far away. We were already up north to do some residency paperwork, so we decided to stop by the mall and hang out for a while before heading home.
All of the sudden as we were walking, I stopped, mouth wide open in awe at the sign I saw above the restaurant in front of us. I felt like crying from pure joy, and I think I literally started jumping up and down. It said: DUNKIN DONUTS.
Well, I think Jairo was surprised to see me this happy about anything, so he decided to buy me a donut. He tasted it and admitted that it was, indeed, the best donut he had ever eaten to date. I savored every moment while I ate that donut.
It´s funny how much you forget about your own culture when you are away for so long. Pregnancy has brought out some cravings in me for foods from home that I never even thought about before. But it isn´t just food. Everything about living here is different from living in the US. The people, the culture, the customs, and yes, the food, are all different. What results is a kind of split personality effect. I often wonder what it will be like to finally go back to the States after being the Ecuadorian version of me for so long. I even have difficulty speaking English sometimes! I have conversations with people from the US and I realize how very different I have become. The life I live is so far removed from anything that could be considered ¨normal¨ in my home culture. I see tourists from time to time at the mall or some other random place and I laugh as I watch them, their culture so foreign to me, and easily point out their ¨gringo¨ qualities to my husband, who reminds me that I´m from the same country as they are. Yet I don´t feel anything like them now.
For example, we were sitting at the customs office to get my Thanksgiving package a while back and there were two girls from the US sitting there waiting for their turn as well. The first thing I noticed with disdain was that they were sitting on the floor, something I would never think of doing now in a public place but something I remember being normal behavior when I lived in the US. Secondly, they were talking extremely loud. Of course, they had no reason to think anyone could understand them, since they didn´t really notice me, but I turned to Jairo and said, ¨Why do North Americans talk so loud?¨ His response was that all North Americans tend to speak louder in public than Ecuadorians, and behave with generally less propriety, in the Ecuadorian sense of the word. Then he added, ¨You always talk louder when you are with your American friends.¨
Really?
So, that´s what I mean about a split personality. I am Ecuadorian enough to separate myself from my home culture and observe it, while American enough to slip back into my home culture fairly seemlessly when callled upon to do so. Which one of those two people am I really?
In some ways I think I am much more Ecuadorian, because I live here and this is my daily life. I speak Spanish, live by Ecuadorian rules and customs, and even sometimes get offended by Americans doing things I once would have done myself. But, at the same time, there are parts of me that are still distinctly American. I have certain ways of thinking that I hold onto, even though here in Ecuador I might be the only person who thinks that way.
For example, I have learned to accept visitors at the drop of a hat, no prior warning, and to serve them something to eat or drink even though they did not tell me they were coming. This is normal. Yet it still drives me up a wall. I always call first, a courtesy which the Ecuadorians are baffled by. (¨Of course you can come over. You don´t have to call!¨)
My husband´s distinctly latino atitude of ¨it doesn´t matter if I didn´t get it done today, I´ll do it eventually¨ drives me absolutely crazy. It´s not procrastination. It´s a lifestyle. The culture is so laid back, unorganized and unscheduled, you really have no idea what time an event will really start, when your friend will really arrive, etc. I waited all day for a friend of mine to come over and teach me to knit. A few days later Jairo said to me, ¨Oh, I saw so-and-so and she told me to tell you sorry she didn´t show up. Something came up.¨ What?? And she couldn´t CALL??
So those things about me, for example, are very American, but I hold on to them because I think erring on the side of common courtesy is worth while. But I have also learned a lot from this culture, and I think that´s why in some ways I´ve changed so much. Maybe there´s no real way to reconcile the two ¨me´s¨ that I´ve become, but I think that there is some middle ground. For example, when I see how my parents interact with Jairo and his family, despite all their differences, I think maybe all those things don´t matter half as much as having people in your life who love you despite your quirks and abnormalities. Those people who allow you to change, and do their best to understand those changes even though they really don´t understand, those are the ones that understand the who you are really has little to do with culture and your changing priorities, perspectives, ideas and values and more to do with those things about you that never change.
All of the sudden as we were walking, I stopped, mouth wide open in awe at the sign I saw above the restaurant in front of us. I felt like crying from pure joy, and I think I literally started jumping up and down. It said: DUNKIN DONUTS.
Well, I think Jairo was surprised to see me this happy about anything, so he decided to buy me a donut. He tasted it and admitted that it was, indeed, the best donut he had ever eaten to date. I savored every moment while I ate that donut.
It´s funny how much you forget about your own culture when you are away for so long. Pregnancy has brought out some cravings in me for foods from home that I never even thought about before. But it isn´t just food. Everything about living here is different from living in the US. The people, the culture, the customs, and yes, the food, are all different. What results is a kind of split personality effect. I often wonder what it will be like to finally go back to the States after being the Ecuadorian version of me for so long. I even have difficulty speaking English sometimes! I have conversations with people from the US and I realize how very different I have become. The life I live is so far removed from anything that could be considered ¨normal¨ in my home culture. I see tourists from time to time at the mall or some other random place and I laugh as I watch them, their culture so foreign to me, and easily point out their ¨gringo¨ qualities to my husband, who reminds me that I´m from the same country as they are. Yet I don´t feel anything like them now.
For example, we were sitting at the customs office to get my Thanksgiving package a while back and there were two girls from the US sitting there waiting for their turn as well. The first thing I noticed with disdain was that they were sitting on the floor, something I would never think of doing now in a public place but something I remember being normal behavior when I lived in the US. Secondly, they were talking extremely loud. Of course, they had no reason to think anyone could understand them, since they didn´t really notice me, but I turned to Jairo and said, ¨Why do North Americans talk so loud?¨ His response was that all North Americans tend to speak louder in public than Ecuadorians, and behave with generally less propriety, in the Ecuadorian sense of the word. Then he added, ¨You always talk louder when you are with your American friends.¨
Really?
So, that´s what I mean about a split personality. I am Ecuadorian enough to separate myself from my home culture and observe it, while American enough to slip back into my home culture fairly seemlessly when callled upon to do so. Which one of those two people am I really?
In some ways I think I am much more Ecuadorian, because I live here and this is my daily life. I speak Spanish, live by Ecuadorian rules and customs, and even sometimes get offended by Americans doing things I once would have done myself. But, at the same time, there are parts of me that are still distinctly American. I have certain ways of thinking that I hold onto, even though here in Ecuador I might be the only person who thinks that way.
For example, I have learned to accept visitors at the drop of a hat, no prior warning, and to serve them something to eat or drink even though they did not tell me they were coming. This is normal. Yet it still drives me up a wall. I always call first, a courtesy which the Ecuadorians are baffled by. (¨Of course you can come over. You don´t have to call!¨)
My husband´s distinctly latino atitude of ¨it doesn´t matter if I didn´t get it done today, I´ll do it eventually¨ drives me absolutely crazy. It´s not procrastination. It´s a lifestyle. The culture is so laid back, unorganized and unscheduled, you really have no idea what time an event will really start, when your friend will really arrive, etc. I waited all day for a friend of mine to come over and teach me to knit. A few days later Jairo said to me, ¨Oh, I saw so-and-so and she told me to tell you sorry she didn´t show up. Something came up.¨ What?? And she couldn´t CALL??
So those things about me, for example, are very American, but I hold on to them because I think erring on the side of common courtesy is worth while. But I have also learned a lot from this culture, and I think that´s why in some ways I´ve changed so much. Maybe there´s no real way to reconcile the two ¨me´s¨ that I´ve become, but I think that there is some middle ground. For example, when I see how my parents interact with Jairo and his family, despite all their differences, I think maybe all those things don´t matter half as much as having people in your life who love you despite your quirks and abnormalities. Those people who allow you to change, and do their best to understand those changes even though they really don´t understand, those are the ones that understand the who you are really has little to do with culture and your changing priorities, perspectives, ideas and values and more to do with those things about you that never change.
Week 47: Another answered prayer (week 16 of pregnancy)
I think I mentioned before that I have no problem going to God for the things we need, no matter how big or small. Jairo always laughs at me because whenever we need anything, the first thing I do is talk to God about it. And then I just believe that He will provide when He sees fit to do so, and I try not to worry about it. Some things are harder than others, because they have a deadline, and the closer that deadline gets, the harder it is to trust God. But I have seen Him provide so many times that I really feel stupid not trusting Him now. I have too much experience with His faithfulness!
Well, this week is another of many examples of the fact that nothing is too little for God, or too big. What I mean is, if it matters to you, it matters to Him. And no matter what it is, He can do it. I have been praying for a long time for living room furniture. We simply do not have any living room furniture! The only thing in our living room is a makeshift seat which I folded into a sofa-like shape, but really it is a foam mattress. I have told Jairo for months that I really wanted furniture, because this pregnancy is going to make it difficult to get up and down from such a low place on the floor. I don´t ask God for things that I don´t really feel like I need, and even though it´s just furniture, I really did feel this was a need. So I started praying about it.
Well, today we went to the furniture market (isn´t that funny!) and we bought furniture! God, out of nowhere, as usual, provided the money for us to get a living room set, and we went with a few friends so that they could help Jairo carry everything. I got to pick it out (after all, it is an answer to MY prayer!!) and it is now set up in the living room, and our apartment looks like a real house! No more sitting on the floor!
It´s funny because after so many times that this has happened, that I have taken a seemingly insignificant prayer to God and seen Him come through for us time and again, now Jairo´s perspective seems to be changing. When we need something now, he is much less worried about it but seems to have more trust in God than when we were first married, which in turn helps strengthen my faith as well. Several times I have heard him mention to our friends the way that I take every request to God in faith, and many times he puts me in charge of praying for things we need. I think I am a long way from being a Proverbs 31 woman, but it makes me thankful to God that He has helped me grow in this area because if there is something I want my husband to think of when he thinks of me, faith is not a bad place to start! I think every husband needs a wife who he sees praying, reading God´s Word, exhorting others in love, giving godly advice, and living a life of faith and contentment. I think these things go a long way in supporting him. It´s true, don´t you think, that a man is often known for his wife? If he has a good wife, doesn´t that speak well of him as well? The Bible says that a good wife is a gift from God, and I think this is why. A man with a virtuous wife can stand up against anything because he can lean on her. A man with a worldly wife, a gossiper or someone who spends her time in the things of the world, for example, not only has to deal with his problems but also with the low opinion that others will develop of her, and by connection, of him.
As I said, I think I have a long way to go to be anything like the Proverbs 31 woman, but these little steps encourage me to continue seeking God´s will for me as a woman and a wife, to see the areas that I need to change, first of all to gain God´s approval, and then also to gain my husband´s approval. Maybe someday my husband will say to me, ¨Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.¨ (Proverbs 31:29)
Well, this week is another of many examples of the fact that nothing is too little for God, or too big. What I mean is, if it matters to you, it matters to Him. And no matter what it is, He can do it. I have been praying for a long time for living room furniture. We simply do not have any living room furniture! The only thing in our living room is a makeshift seat which I folded into a sofa-like shape, but really it is a foam mattress. I have told Jairo for months that I really wanted furniture, because this pregnancy is going to make it difficult to get up and down from such a low place on the floor. I don´t ask God for things that I don´t really feel like I need, and even though it´s just furniture, I really did feel this was a need. So I started praying about it.
Well, today we went to the furniture market (isn´t that funny!) and we bought furniture! God, out of nowhere, as usual, provided the money for us to get a living room set, and we went with a few friends so that they could help Jairo carry everything. I got to pick it out (after all, it is an answer to MY prayer!!) and it is now set up in the living room, and our apartment looks like a real house! No more sitting on the floor!
It´s funny because after so many times that this has happened, that I have taken a seemingly insignificant prayer to God and seen Him come through for us time and again, now Jairo´s perspective seems to be changing. When we need something now, he is much less worried about it but seems to have more trust in God than when we were first married, which in turn helps strengthen my faith as well. Several times I have heard him mention to our friends the way that I take every request to God in faith, and many times he puts me in charge of praying for things we need. I think I am a long way from being a Proverbs 31 woman, but it makes me thankful to God that He has helped me grow in this area because if there is something I want my husband to think of when he thinks of me, faith is not a bad place to start! I think every husband needs a wife who he sees praying, reading God´s Word, exhorting others in love, giving godly advice, and living a life of faith and contentment. I think these things go a long way in supporting him. It´s true, don´t you think, that a man is often known for his wife? If he has a good wife, doesn´t that speak well of him as well? The Bible says that a good wife is a gift from God, and I think this is why. A man with a virtuous wife can stand up against anything because he can lean on her. A man with a worldly wife, a gossiper or someone who spends her time in the things of the world, for example, not only has to deal with his problems but also with the low opinion that others will develop of her, and by connection, of him.
As I said, I think I have a long way to go to be anything like the Proverbs 31 woman, but these little steps encourage me to continue seeking God´s will for me as a woman and a wife, to see the areas that I need to change, first of all to gain God´s approval, and then also to gain my husband´s approval. Maybe someday my husband will say to me, ¨Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.¨ (Proverbs 31:29)
Week 47: Christmas Programs (week 16 of pregnancy)
This week has been the culmination of a very busy month of preparation, and while it was great to see everything come together, I am so glad that we will be getting a break soon!!
Jairo has been extremely busy getting ready for two Christmas programs at church, one with Compassion International and the other with the youth group. He was actually in charge of the Compassion program since he is the ¨tutor of Christian education¨, or in other words, the one who does all of the Christian programming and lesson plans. He planned a drama where all of the adult helpers depicted different parts of the Christmas story, using short excerpts from the Bible. It turned out really well.
The other program was one that we have been planning forever it seems like. We knew we wanted to do something extra special for Christmas, so we decorated the church with all kinds of things, like Christmas lights and fake snow, the drama team prepared a drama that I developed (finally a good use to all this resting I have to do!), the worship team prepared special Christmas songs, and Jairo gave a special message. We did a Christmas card exchange (since the kids don´t really have the resources for a gift exchange) and gave them cookies and hot cocoa. It was really a wonderful night, and everything went perfectly. We had lots and lots of youth at the service, and got to celebrate the real reason for Christmas. The teens seemed to really enjoy the service, and it turned out to be a very special night.
Now that all of the practices and planning meetings are done, I am looking forward to resting and enjoying our first married Christmas together! It will be the only Christmas that we are a family of 2 (or 2 1/2), and I am really looking forward to it. I absolutely love Christmas! Then in January my parents are going to visit, so I am pretty pumped about all the fun things ahead!
Jairo has been extremely busy getting ready for two Christmas programs at church, one with Compassion International and the other with the youth group. He was actually in charge of the Compassion program since he is the ¨tutor of Christian education¨, or in other words, the one who does all of the Christian programming and lesson plans. He planned a drama where all of the adult helpers depicted different parts of the Christmas story, using short excerpts from the Bible. It turned out really well.
The other program was one that we have been planning forever it seems like. We knew we wanted to do something extra special for Christmas, so we decorated the church with all kinds of things, like Christmas lights and fake snow, the drama team prepared a drama that I developed (finally a good use to all this resting I have to do!), the worship team prepared special Christmas songs, and Jairo gave a special message. We did a Christmas card exchange (since the kids don´t really have the resources for a gift exchange) and gave them cookies and hot cocoa. It was really a wonderful night, and everything went perfectly. We had lots and lots of youth at the service, and got to celebrate the real reason for Christmas. The teens seemed to really enjoy the service, and it turned out to be a very special night.
Now that all of the practices and planning meetings are done, I am looking forward to resting and enjoying our first married Christmas together! It will be the only Christmas that we are a family of 2 (or 2 1/2), and I am really looking forward to it. I absolutely love Christmas! Then in January my parents are going to visit, so I am pretty pumped about all the fun things ahead!
Week 46: Back from Puyo (week 15 of pregnancy)
Well, we are back from Puyo. It was a really difficult trip because we went down for our friend Pepelucho´s funeral. He was about my age and his death was very unexpected. It was a difficult experience for me as a wife, because Jairo was extremely upset and I knew that I needed to try to offer as much support as possible for him. Pepelucho was one of his best friends, and Jairo by nature is a very sensitive person, so this was really almost too much for him, I think. He was a friend of mine, too, but not a very close friend since I really didn´t have a lot of occasions to get to know him really well. Still, it was an incredibly sad couple of days, and I found myself battling with my emotions as pregnancy only complicated things on that front. You can imagine that if a stupid commercial on TV is enough to bring a pregnant woman to tears, how much more a really tragic event like this makes it difficult to keep emotions in line. I tried to do my crying more when Jairo was not around, so that I could try to be a strength and comfort to him when we were together. I think I did all that I could, seeing that in these situations there is really very little anyone can say or do to make anything any better.
Still, our hope in the situation is that Pepelucho had time between his accident and when he passed away that he was conscious, and having been raised a Christian I can only think that he used his time wisely to make things right with God. His death has been a huge testimony to the many, many youth who knew him, not to mention adults, to examine their lives because we never know when God will call us away from this world. None of us is promised 80 or 90 years of life, or even one more day, and I think many people have decided to recommit their lives to God as a result of this situation. Even at the funeral a few people accepted Christ as their savior, which just shows the truth of Romans 8:28, that God can indeed make good things out of bad things.
Please pray for the family, and for Jairo and all of Pepelucho´s good friends, since the grieving process (as all of us who have gone through it know) is not an easy one, and it can take a long time to heal.
Still, our hope in the situation is that Pepelucho had time between his accident and when he passed away that he was conscious, and having been raised a Christian I can only think that he used his time wisely to make things right with God. His death has been a huge testimony to the many, many youth who knew him, not to mention adults, to examine their lives because we never know when God will call us away from this world. None of us is promised 80 or 90 years of life, or even one more day, and I think many people have decided to recommit their lives to God as a result of this situation. Even at the funeral a few people accepted Christ as their savior, which just shows the truth of Romans 8:28, that God can indeed make good things out of bad things.
Please pray for the family, and for Jairo and all of Pepelucho´s good friends, since the grieving process (as all of us who have gone through it know) is not an easy one, and it can take a long time to heal.
Week 45: An unexpected tragedy (week 14 of pregnancy)
We just found out that our friend Pepelucho (whose real name is Jose Luis) (those of you who came to Ecuador might remember him), fell off of a pickup truck while they were driving in Puyo and suffered severe bleeding in his brain. They brought him to a hospital in Quito and did what they could to help him, but he did not wake up at all once he arrived and after several hours in the hospital he passed away. He was about my age and one of Jairo´s best friends. Please pray for safety as we travel to Puyo tonight for the funeral and for the Holy Spirit´s comfort for all of his family and friends, especially his mother who will be coming in from Spain to the funeral.
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Week 45: Finally! (week 14 of pregnancy)
All these months I have wanted to hear the baby´s heartbeat. They say that once you get past 12 weeks and hear the heartbeat, the chances of anything going wrong in the pregnancy are much lower. Well, as a first-time mom, I really wanted the extra assurance that everything is okay.
Today we went to the doctor for my monthly check up and we were not expecting to get to hear the heartbeat at all. I asked when I might be able to hear it and she said next month. Then she changed her mind and said, ¨Well, why not right now!¨ I called Jairo into the exam room and we waited and waited as she looked around for the heartbeat. I didn´t think she would find it because it was taking forever and the only thing we could hear was my slow and steady heartbeat and that whooshing noise that the listening device always makes. Then, all of the sudden, there was a different sound...a much faster and softer beating that barely sounded like a heartbeat at all, it was so fast. ¨There it is!¨ she said. And there it was, our baby´s heartbeat.
At this stage of pregnancy, despite all of the symptoms you go through, it´s really hard to believe you really are pregnant. The only real proof I´ve had up until now is that positive pregnancy test, which is impressive for the first few days until the doubts set in, but then you start looking for something a little more concrete. Hearing the baby´s heartbeat for the first time was a much-needed confirmation that there really is a baby in there! It was an exciting moment, but also a scary one, as I came one step closer to grasping the reality of the change that is about to take place in our lives forever once this little one is born. But then, I did promise not to worry about things outside this stage of pregnancy, so I suppose I should just relax and enjoy the moment. I got to hear the heartbeat, which was at the top of my priorities list for this trimester, so I´m feeling pretty good about that.
It makes you wonder about all of the complex stuff going on inside you that you are completely unaware of. I was thinking about it after the appointment, and I realized that this, too, is a lesson in parenthood, even before the baby is born. Without my help or intervention, God is forming this little one inside of me. I have no control over its formation, no say in how it will all turn out, and that requires more than anything faith on my part as I wait for the day that this process reaches its completion. But even once this baby arrives, I will still have very little control over its life, safety, choices, etc. It´s amazing how many new fears arrive when you find out you´re pregnant, and I can only imagine that those fears increase throughout the life of one´s child. We have to come to a point, even in pregnancy, when we agree to give the control of the child´s life to God, who is the only one who really has control anyway. We have to recognize that ultimately He is the one in charge, and trust in Him to take care of the new life that He is forming. I´m looking forward to seeing what the baby will look like, what kind of character and personality he or she will have, which of my and Jairo´s quirks will be passed on, and what kind of things will interest this new little person. At the same time, I´m learning not to worry, because the same God who is forming this child is the one who will also lead and guide him or her. The question isn´t whether or not I can trust Him with my child´s life, because obviously there is no one more trustworthy than He is. The question is whether or not I as a mother will be able to raise this child in a way that deserves the trust that God placed in me when He allowed this child to begin to grow inside of me.
That is the main focus of my prayers for this child now, that I will be wise enough to know how to be a godly mother. I think there is something to the idea of the 40 weeks of pregnancy being just as much for the benefit of the mother´s preparation as they are for the baby´s formation. Hopefully I will be able to use this time wisely to prepare for the arrival of this baby!
Today we went to the doctor for my monthly check up and we were not expecting to get to hear the heartbeat at all. I asked when I might be able to hear it and she said next month. Then she changed her mind and said, ¨Well, why not right now!¨ I called Jairo into the exam room and we waited and waited as she looked around for the heartbeat. I didn´t think she would find it because it was taking forever and the only thing we could hear was my slow and steady heartbeat and that whooshing noise that the listening device always makes. Then, all of the sudden, there was a different sound...a much faster and softer beating that barely sounded like a heartbeat at all, it was so fast. ¨There it is!¨ she said. And there it was, our baby´s heartbeat.
At this stage of pregnancy, despite all of the symptoms you go through, it´s really hard to believe you really are pregnant. The only real proof I´ve had up until now is that positive pregnancy test, which is impressive for the first few days until the doubts set in, but then you start looking for something a little more concrete. Hearing the baby´s heartbeat for the first time was a much-needed confirmation that there really is a baby in there! It was an exciting moment, but also a scary one, as I came one step closer to grasping the reality of the change that is about to take place in our lives forever once this little one is born. But then, I did promise not to worry about things outside this stage of pregnancy, so I suppose I should just relax and enjoy the moment. I got to hear the heartbeat, which was at the top of my priorities list for this trimester, so I´m feeling pretty good about that.
It makes you wonder about all of the complex stuff going on inside you that you are completely unaware of. I was thinking about it after the appointment, and I realized that this, too, is a lesson in parenthood, even before the baby is born. Without my help or intervention, God is forming this little one inside of me. I have no control over its formation, no say in how it will all turn out, and that requires more than anything faith on my part as I wait for the day that this process reaches its completion. But even once this baby arrives, I will still have very little control over its life, safety, choices, etc. It´s amazing how many new fears arrive when you find out you´re pregnant, and I can only imagine that those fears increase throughout the life of one´s child. We have to come to a point, even in pregnancy, when we agree to give the control of the child´s life to God, who is the only one who really has control anyway. We have to recognize that ultimately He is the one in charge, and trust in Him to take care of the new life that He is forming. I´m looking forward to seeing what the baby will look like, what kind of character and personality he or she will have, which of my and Jairo´s quirks will be passed on, and what kind of things will interest this new little person. At the same time, I´m learning not to worry, because the same God who is forming this child is the one who will also lead and guide him or her. The question isn´t whether or not I can trust Him with my child´s life, because obviously there is no one more trustworthy than He is. The question is whether or not I as a mother will be able to raise this child in a way that deserves the trust that God placed in me when He allowed this child to begin to grow inside of me.
That is the main focus of my prayers for this child now, that I will be wise enough to know how to be a godly mother. I think there is something to the idea of the 40 weeks of pregnancy being just as much for the benefit of the mother´s preparation as they are for the baby´s formation. Hopefully I will be able to use this time wisely to prepare for the arrival of this baby!
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