I have an announcement! In about a week Jairo and I are getting internet at home!
I cannot express how excited I am! I’ll be able to talk on Skype to my family and friends, I’ll be able to download things and upload things in the comfort of my own home, and who knows—maybe I’ll even post this blog on time!
I guess we’ll find out!
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Week 18: Four Months Married!
We have been married for four months! (Applause, applause) Thank you.
These four months have been marked with both failure and success, sadness and joy, arguing and getting along, work and fun...a little bit of everything. I feel like we’re finally starting to feel married. I don’t know if that makes sense. I guess I mean that I’m used to my cleaning schedule, making meals, falling asleep and waking up next to someone, being accountable to my husband; I think we’re finally fitting into our roles.
It’s definitely not perfect. I never know when I wake up one day how it’s going to go. There’s a lot of variables. In a life as busy as ours, you can’t be too attached to your idea of how things should be. Even so, there’s a certain level of predictability we’ve gained, and not in the boring sense. It’s actually kind of comforting.
I think if there’s a four-month milestone, it’s this: We’re finally married! Go figure!
These four months have been marked with both failure and success, sadness and joy, arguing and getting along, work and fun...a little bit of everything. I feel like we’re finally starting to feel married. I don’t know if that makes sense. I guess I mean that I’m used to my cleaning schedule, making meals, falling asleep and waking up next to someone, being accountable to my husband; I think we’re finally fitting into our roles.
It’s definitely not perfect. I never know when I wake up one day how it’s going to go. There’s a lot of variables. In a life as busy as ours, you can’t be too attached to your idea of how things should be. Even so, there’s a certain level of predictability we’ve gained, and not in the boring sense. It’s actually kind of comforting.
I think if there’s a four-month milestone, it’s this: We’re finally married! Go figure!
Week 17: Organizing the Revolution
We are now in full-swing with Revolution Ministries in Cordero de Dios church in Quito. We’re having 3 meetings a week with our leadership team to try to get organized, brainstorm, pray, and get this thing going!
I’m constantly reminded of how cool God is, how He blesses us even though we don’t deserve it. This week, my blessings, in part, come from our leadership team. There aren’t very many of us, but the people I work with on this are the best people I could have asked for. They are dedicated, responsible, punctual, they love God, and they’re just cool people.
I am always amazed at how great my life is. It’s not that it’s easy—it’s not. It’s that, no matter what else happens, I’m living my dream. I have an organization that is going to help tons of people. I get to work with people I really enjoy. And my boss is a pretty cool guy—His name is God.
I just want to encourage my friends out there who are also trying to start organizations and get things done for God. I know there are a lot of you. Scripture says that with Christ all things are possible. Keep trying, you will succeed. As we say in Spanish, Sigue adelante!! Don’t give up. God’s on your side. And, if it helps, so am I.
I’m constantly reminded of how cool God is, how He blesses us even though we don’t deserve it. This week, my blessings, in part, come from our leadership team. There aren’t very many of us, but the people I work with on this are the best people I could have asked for. They are dedicated, responsible, punctual, they love God, and they’re just cool people.
I am always amazed at how great my life is. It’s not that it’s easy—it’s not. It’s that, no matter what else happens, I’m living my dream. I have an organization that is going to help tons of people. I get to work with people I really enjoy. And my boss is a pretty cool guy—His name is God.
I just want to encourage my friends out there who are also trying to start organizations and get things done for God. I know there are a lot of you. Scripture says that with Christ all things are possible. Keep trying, you will succeed. As we say in Spanish, Sigue adelante!! Don’t give up. God’s on your side. And, if it helps, so am I.
Week 16: Music to Start a Revolution By
Jairo and I just bought the new cd by a group called Rojo. It’s a Christian band from Mexico which happens to be Jairo’s favorite band of all time. We’ve been listening to the cd for last few days and I have to say, it’s pretty cool. I think it’s their best cd yet.
The whole theme of the cd is that they want to see God start a revolution; in their lives, in their country, in this generation and in the whole world. The songs are all really cool, and got us really excited because that theme is right up our alley!
I think music is a hugely powerful tool, and not just in church services. I believe and have seen that listening to God-honoring, Christian music is a huge help to me in my life. It encourages me, it helps me think about God all day long, and it helps me maintain a good attitude. Non-Christian music, however, does exactly the opposite. Sure, I might feel happy while I listen to a song, but the long-term effects are not positive.
There are only two kingdoms in this world, God’s and Satan’s. Everything we do in life has spiritual value, whether we like it or not. When I listen to Christian music, I’m honoring God. When I listen to non-Christian music, I’m honoring Satan. It’s not that non-Christian music is evil. It’s that it’s not for God, and if it’s not for God, there’s no point to it, other than to be for Satan. There’s no one else it can be for.
The same principle is true about life. If I’m not living my life for God, then I’m living it for me, and if I’m living it for me, I’m living it in rebellion to God—in other words, although I would never realize it, I am living my life for Satan. The Bible is clear about this. There’s no middle ground. We can’t live our lives for ourselves. Paul, in Scripture, reminds us that we were bought with a price, the highest price, and we can either be slaves to God, who gives us freedom, or slaves to Satan, who only keeps us in bondage.
I’m very thankful that there is good, cool Christian music out there, so that it doesn’t have to be that difficult to just honor God. Sure, in other areas it’s hard, but at least in music, I can just enjoy it without worrying about what it’s doing to me. If it’s for God, I know it’ll only do me good.
The whole theme of the cd is that they want to see God start a revolution; in their lives, in their country, in this generation and in the whole world. The songs are all really cool, and got us really excited because that theme is right up our alley!
I think music is a hugely powerful tool, and not just in church services. I believe and have seen that listening to God-honoring, Christian music is a huge help to me in my life. It encourages me, it helps me think about God all day long, and it helps me maintain a good attitude. Non-Christian music, however, does exactly the opposite. Sure, I might feel happy while I listen to a song, but the long-term effects are not positive.
There are only two kingdoms in this world, God’s and Satan’s. Everything we do in life has spiritual value, whether we like it or not. When I listen to Christian music, I’m honoring God. When I listen to non-Christian music, I’m honoring Satan. It’s not that non-Christian music is evil. It’s that it’s not for God, and if it’s not for God, there’s no point to it, other than to be for Satan. There’s no one else it can be for.
The same principle is true about life. If I’m not living my life for God, then I’m living it for me, and if I’m living it for me, I’m living it in rebellion to God—in other words, although I would never realize it, I am living my life for Satan. The Bible is clear about this. There’s no middle ground. We can’t live our lives for ourselves. Paul, in Scripture, reminds us that we were bought with a price, the highest price, and we can either be slaves to God, who gives us freedom, or slaves to Satan, who only keeps us in bondage.
I’m very thankful that there is good, cool Christian music out there, so that it doesn’t have to be that difficult to just honor God. Sure, in other areas it’s hard, but at least in music, I can just enjoy it without worrying about what it’s doing to me. If it’s for God, I know it’ll only do me good.
Week 16: The Launch of Revolution
Jairo and I have a non-profit organization called Revolution Ministries. Or, we will have, once we finish the paperwork. It’s a Christian organization for youth and children, and the goal is to start a spiritual revolution in the new generations of youth, so that they can live out their faith and be a light to their peers and their country.
Our pastor agreed to let Revolution take over the church youth group, so we just had an all-night event, no sleeping, called a “vigilia” to launch Revolution with the youth. It was an incredible night. We packed it full of prayer, praise and worship, games, dramas, snacks and much more. There were a lot of teens there, a lot more than we expected, and it was a great night of fellowship and getting to know the teens better. They were very excited about all the new changes and I think it’s going to be a really great opportunity to be working with Cordero de Dios church.
A pastor was there visiting from Santo Domingo, a city on the coast of Ecuador, and he told us later that he is beginning a youth group in Santo Domingo and was wondering if Revolution would like to take it over! I’m not sure if we will or not, because we really need to pray about it and see where God is leading us.
Still, I’m pretty excited that God is opening the doors for this ministry! I feel like the whole has been an affirmation from God that He is pleased with the ministry and wants to use us. I feel very content and ready to get to work! I hope the feeling lasts for a while!
Our pastor agreed to let Revolution take over the church youth group, so we just had an all-night event, no sleeping, called a “vigilia” to launch Revolution with the youth. It was an incredible night. We packed it full of prayer, praise and worship, games, dramas, snacks and much more. There were a lot of teens there, a lot more than we expected, and it was a great night of fellowship and getting to know the teens better. They were very excited about all the new changes and I think it’s going to be a really great opportunity to be working with Cordero de Dios church.
A pastor was there visiting from Santo Domingo, a city on the coast of Ecuador, and he told us later that he is beginning a youth group in Santo Domingo and was wondering if Revolution would like to take it over! I’m not sure if we will or not, because we really need to pray about it and see where God is leading us.
Still, I’m pretty excited that God is opening the doors for this ministry! I feel like the whole has been an affirmation from God that He is pleased with the ministry and wants to use us. I feel very content and ready to get to work! I hope the feeling lasts for a while!
Week 15: Out on the Town
Today a friend and I went shopping downtown for Jairo’s birthday present. My parents wanted me to get Jairo a present from them so I decided I would get him a little gift package of guitar stuff from them. I invited her along for two main reasons: First, it’s not that safe to walk around downtown Quito by yourself, and second, I know nothing about guitar stuff, and she does.
So, off we went, with Jairo completely oblivious to what was really going on, to buy his presents. It was a fun day and we ended up getting Jairo some pretty cool guitar stuff which I think he’s going to be pretty excited about.
While we were out, my friend asked me a question about Ecuadorian culture. She was having a situation with someone that she wanted to know whether it was a culture thing or a person being annoying thing. Turns out we had a good laugh as I explained this aspect of Ecuadorian culture to her which was making her suffer.
You see, elderly ladies here in Ecuador are all pretty much alike. I don’t say that to be stereotypical, it’s actually scary how alike they are. I’ll give examples from my own life. Every time I get sick, whether it’s a cold, the flu, a stomach ache, a headache, whatever, there’s an elderly woman from my church who always tells me it’s because I eat too many limes. I’m not sure why she thinks I eat too many limes since I think she’s never seen me eat a lime, but whatever happens, it’s the limes. I think even if I got shot it would be the limes.
Our pastor’s wife is an elderly woman, and recently I was telling her about a sickness I had had a few weeks back. It just so happened that I had bad headaches and would get really dizzy, to the point that I had to stay in bed. To me it seems like a migraine kind of thing, but her response was that I’m pregnant. Now, I don’t think that’s terribly off-base as far as looking at the symptoms, but I insisted that I was not pregnant. I know this for a fact, one, because I’ve had two periods since then, and two, because we’re pretty careful about that stuff. However, she was convinced that I was pregnant and just trying to hide it. I’m not sure if that’s what the whole church thinks now, but I’m not too worried about it because I’m pretty sure that in nine months when no baby is born, that will be the end of that.
Basically, elderly ladies here are extremely opinionated on things that make no sense, and very bossy, too. I remember one time they were selling food after church to raise money. I had eaten a plate already and was full. Apparently some food was left over so the pastor’s wife came up to me and asked if I wanted more. I politely told her no thank you, that I was already full, and she continued to insist that I eat more. I continued to insist that I was full and didn’t want more. I saw no end in sight to this argument and had no intention of eating more because I was stuffed, so I said to her, “You know, the Bible says that eating when you’re not hungry is a sin!” and finally she left me alone.
Even so, although sometimes it really makes you want to scream or hit someone, these elderly women are also very loving and very eager to take care of others. I think it’s almost an even trade. Almost.
So, off we went, with Jairo completely oblivious to what was really going on, to buy his presents. It was a fun day and we ended up getting Jairo some pretty cool guitar stuff which I think he’s going to be pretty excited about.
While we were out, my friend asked me a question about Ecuadorian culture. She was having a situation with someone that she wanted to know whether it was a culture thing or a person being annoying thing. Turns out we had a good laugh as I explained this aspect of Ecuadorian culture to her which was making her suffer.
You see, elderly ladies here in Ecuador are all pretty much alike. I don’t say that to be stereotypical, it’s actually scary how alike they are. I’ll give examples from my own life. Every time I get sick, whether it’s a cold, the flu, a stomach ache, a headache, whatever, there’s an elderly woman from my church who always tells me it’s because I eat too many limes. I’m not sure why she thinks I eat too many limes since I think she’s never seen me eat a lime, but whatever happens, it’s the limes. I think even if I got shot it would be the limes.
Our pastor’s wife is an elderly woman, and recently I was telling her about a sickness I had had a few weeks back. It just so happened that I had bad headaches and would get really dizzy, to the point that I had to stay in bed. To me it seems like a migraine kind of thing, but her response was that I’m pregnant. Now, I don’t think that’s terribly off-base as far as looking at the symptoms, but I insisted that I was not pregnant. I know this for a fact, one, because I’ve had two periods since then, and two, because we’re pretty careful about that stuff. However, she was convinced that I was pregnant and just trying to hide it. I’m not sure if that’s what the whole church thinks now, but I’m not too worried about it because I’m pretty sure that in nine months when no baby is born, that will be the end of that.
Basically, elderly ladies here are extremely opinionated on things that make no sense, and very bossy, too. I remember one time they were selling food after church to raise money. I had eaten a plate already and was full. Apparently some food was left over so the pastor’s wife came up to me and asked if I wanted more. I politely told her no thank you, that I was already full, and she continued to insist that I eat more. I continued to insist that I was full and didn’t want more. I saw no end in sight to this argument and had no intention of eating more because I was stuffed, so I said to her, “You know, the Bible says that eating when you’re not hungry is a sin!” and finally she left me alone.
Even so, although sometimes it really makes you want to scream or hit someone, these elderly women are also very loving and very eager to take care of others. I think it’s almost an even trade. Almost.
Week 14: Thoughts on Missions Trips
I read an article online which stated that short-term missions trips are losing popularity because they are simply not helpful and accomplish very little. They cited a few examples, such as the same church being painted a few different times in one summer by different groups, a building being built by Americans only to be torn down when they left, and the general lack of real change in lives of the people who go on the trips.
I think the article touches on something important: You shouldn’t just go into another culture without understanding what you’re walking into. You need to know the laws, the people, and you need to have a trustworthy contact in that country who can organize the trip for you. I do think it’s unwise for a church to plan a trip to another country on its own. However, I think short-term missions trips are great.
Short-term missions trips are notoriously expensive. The author of the article suggested that rather than spend money on the airline ticket, why not do work within the US? I don’t think that’s a bad idea. However, much of the cost of the trip is not for airfare or hotels, it’s to give to churches and help within the country. I can’t tell you how much help just $100 would be here in Ecuador, let alone the thousands of dollars that groups can bring in.
It’s not just about money though. I disagree that people’s lives are not noticeably changed on missions trips. I know a lot of people, including myself, who have received their call to full-time missions on a short-term missions trip. I know several people, including myself, who have fallen in love and gotten married as a result of these trips. I’ve never met anyone who was unaffected by seeing abject poverty and being able to do something to help.
On top of that, I can speak from the other side. I live here in Ecuador, and I know what happens when you leave here after two weeks. I know the blessing and encouragement it is to have people who come from around the world to build, paint, evangelize, or whatever they have done. Jairo has met a lot of different missions teams who came for short term missions and proudly recites the names of all the members of the groups in his pictures, some of which visited when he was just a little boy.
Short-term missions trips make an enormous difference in other countries. As with anything, we need to be wise about the way that we go about the trip. I am aware of situations when people from poor countries take advantage of Americans, but I think that situation can be avoided. There are dishonest people in every country, but there are also honest people who need help.
Jairo and I always talk about how much we would love for a group to come work with us for a few weeks. I think it’s wrong to write off short-term missions. Not only is it misguided, it’s also unbiblical. We are to go into all the world, not just our country. The whole world needs Jesus, and a $600 plane ticket is worth every penny if it means that a few people will spend eternity in Heaven and a few Christians will get the encouragement they need to be able to keep serving God.
I think the article touches on something important: You shouldn’t just go into another culture without understanding what you’re walking into. You need to know the laws, the people, and you need to have a trustworthy contact in that country who can organize the trip for you. I do think it’s unwise for a church to plan a trip to another country on its own. However, I think short-term missions trips are great.
Short-term missions trips are notoriously expensive. The author of the article suggested that rather than spend money on the airline ticket, why not do work within the US? I don’t think that’s a bad idea. However, much of the cost of the trip is not for airfare or hotels, it’s to give to churches and help within the country. I can’t tell you how much help just $100 would be here in Ecuador, let alone the thousands of dollars that groups can bring in.
It’s not just about money though. I disagree that people’s lives are not noticeably changed on missions trips. I know a lot of people, including myself, who have received their call to full-time missions on a short-term missions trip. I know several people, including myself, who have fallen in love and gotten married as a result of these trips. I’ve never met anyone who was unaffected by seeing abject poverty and being able to do something to help.
On top of that, I can speak from the other side. I live here in Ecuador, and I know what happens when you leave here after two weeks. I know the blessing and encouragement it is to have people who come from around the world to build, paint, evangelize, or whatever they have done. Jairo has met a lot of different missions teams who came for short term missions and proudly recites the names of all the members of the groups in his pictures, some of which visited when he was just a little boy.
Short-term missions trips make an enormous difference in other countries. As with anything, we need to be wise about the way that we go about the trip. I am aware of situations when people from poor countries take advantage of Americans, but I think that situation can be avoided. There are dishonest people in every country, but there are also honest people who need help.
Jairo and I always talk about how much we would love for a group to come work with us for a few weeks. I think it’s wrong to write off short-term missions. Not only is it misguided, it’s also unbiblical. We are to go into all the world, not just our country. The whole world needs Jesus, and a $600 plane ticket is worth every penny if it means that a few people will spend eternity in Heaven and a few Christians will get the encouragement they need to be able to keep serving God.
Week 14: A Civics Lesson and a Party
Today I got see how voting works in Ecuador. Voting is mandatory and must be done in the town where you were born. So here we are in Puyo so that Jairo can vote, and today was the big day. One thing I thought was interesting is that men and women vote separately. First you find out where you vote, much like in the US. Jairo had to vote in a high school. Once you get there, there are hundreds of tables, each one with a number. You find out your number, go to that table (for your gender), and then get about 6 pages worth of people to vote for. There are so many political parties here, it’s really incredible. Because of the efficiency of the table set-up, even though everyone has to vote, it actually only takes about 5 minutes. You’re in and out! The efficiency of the system strikes me as very un-Ecuadorian!
After voting, we decided to buy a cake and have a joint birthday party for Jairo’s dad and me, since Jairo and I were in Quito for both birthdays. It was an ice cream cake! I honestly think I could eat a whole ice cream cake myself. Maybe two.
It was a really nice day, and another reminder of how great it is to be around people you love and take time to celebrate everyday moments with them. I’m not looking forward to leaving Puyo!
After voting, we decided to buy a cake and have a joint birthday party for Jairo’s dad and me, since Jairo and I were in Quito for both birthdays. It was an ice cream cake! I honestly think I could eat a whole ice cream cake myself. Maybe two.
It was a really nice day, and another reminder of how great it is to be around people you love and take time to celebrate everyday moments with them. I’m not looking forward to leaving Puyo!
Week 13: Three Months Married
Today is our three month anniversary! We’ve been married for a quarter of a year! Honestly, I don’t have a lot of profound thoughts for this day. I think I have too much amazonian air in my brain!
All I have to say is that I am so thankful to God for my husband, and for the life we have together. It’s full of all those newlywed issues, not to mention ministry issues, but altogether, it’s a really great life. I don’t know how people really get to live their dreams like we’re doing, and I don’t know how many people fall crazy in love the way we did, but I know we’re very blessed. Thank you, God, for three wonderful months!
All I have to say is that I am so thankful to God for my husband, and for the life we have together. It’s full of all those newlywed issues, not to mention ministry issues, but altogether, it’s a really great life. I don’t know how people really get to live their dreams like we’re doing, and I don’t know how many people fall crazy in love the way we did, but I know we’re very blessed. Thank you, God, for three wonderful months!
Week 13: A Day on the River
We’re here in Puyo for about a week so that Jairo can vote. We decided to come a little early so that we could visit with the family and relax a little. Today Jairo finally gave in to me and we went to the river to go swimming.
Puyo is a part of the area of Ecuador called “Oriente” which is more and more Amazonian as you go west. Puyo itself is a tropical town, usually warm or hot, with a lot of rain. There’s a lot of fresh fruit, colorful plants and flowers, wild animals and bugs! I love it! It’s so much fun!
On our way down to the river we had the pleasure of seeing a snake that someone had beheaded, which is pretty common, and once at the river had fun playing volleyball in the water and enjoying the sun. On the way back home we stopped and ate something called Volquetero, which is hard to explain what it is because almost none of it can be found in the US! However, I will tell you that it was delicious and I am now an addict.
Relaxing is not something we usually have a lot time for, but here in Puyo, life goes a little slower and you can’t help but relax a little. That’s why we love coming here. It’s such a great feeling to be surrounded by people you love and just relax. It had been so long I wasn’t sure I’d still now how! But, as it turns out, we had a great day, and we did relax. And we’re going to relax again tomorrow! I’d better not stay to long, I might just get used to this!
Puyo is a part of the area of Ecuador called “Oriente” which is more and more Amazonian as you go west. Puyo itself is a tropical town, usually warm or hot, with a lot of rain. There’s a lot of fresh fruit, colorful plants and flowers, wild animals and bugs! I love it! It’s so much fun!
On our way down to the river we had the pleasure of seeing a snake that someone had beheaded, which is pretty common, and once at the river had fun playing volleyball in the water and enjoying the sun. On the way back home we stopped and ate something called Volquetero, which is hard to explain what it is because almost none of it can be found in the US! However, I will tell you that it was delicious and I am now an addict.
Relaxing is not something we usually have a lot time for, but here in Puyo, life goes a little slower and you can’t help but relax a little. That’s why we love coming here. It’s such a great feeling to be surrounded by people you love and just relax. It had been so long I wasn’t sure I’d still now how! But, as it turns out, we had a great day, and we did relax. And we’re going to relax again tomorrow! I’d better not stay to long, I might just get used to this!
Week 13: A Very Interesting Voyage
Sometimes life seems so normal to me that I forget that I live in Ecuador. However, this weekend was not one of those times.
Jairo and I had to go to Puyo this week so that he could vote. Here in Ecuador voting is mandatory and you have to vote in the city where you were born. (It's very "In those days a decree went out from Caesar Augustus that all the world should be taxed...") Jairo was at church and I was at home packing the suitcases and making dinner to take on the 5 hour bus ride to Puyo. We were supposed to meet at the terminal, so when the time came, I packed up dinner in Tupperware containers, grabbed the suitcases and headed out. I needed to catch a cab, but I had to walk down to the main street to get one. I underestimated the weight of the suitcases, combined with the awkward plastic bags of food, and was having quite a challenge trying to walk down the road.
A police car stopped me when I was about halfway down the road and, noting my struggle and large amount of suitcases, proceeded to ask me what was wrong. Here in Ecuador the police are very sensitive to women’s issues and domestic abuse because it has traditionally been a very big problem in Latin American countries. Apparently the police thought I was running away from my husband! I explained my situation and they offered to take me close by the terminal so that I wouldn’t have to pay very much for a cab. I agreed, happily, and thoroughly enjoyed telling my husband why I arrived with the police!
Once we go on the bus the adventure was not over. About halfway to Puyo we suddenly stopped. After a few minutes we saw the problem: There was a huge rockslide along the mountain, where the road passes, and there was no way to cross. Now, in Ecuador, you can’t just get off on the next exit. There’s only one way to get to Puyo from Quito directly, and to turn around and get on the road we’d have to return to Quito, about 3 hours away, and start over, and we’d have to return going in reverse, because on the mountain there’s no way to turn around. So, needless to say, we spent the night on a mountain road, in the bus, waiting for the rockslide to be cleared away.
These things that happen here in Ecuador aren’t fun at the time, but looking back on it, I wonder how many people get to live through even one adventure while I live them every single day! I think it’s pretty cool to have these stories to tell and to finally be the one living the adventure, and not just reading about it! So, if you’d like to live some of these great, South American adventures, my doors are open! Come to Ecuador and visit us! I’m sure it will be more than you bargained for!
Jairo and I had to go to Puyo this week so that he could vote. Here in Ecuador voting is mandatory and you have to vote in the city where you were born. (It's very "In those days a decree went out from Caesar Augustus that all the world should be taxed...") Jairo was at church and I was at home packing the suitcases and making dinner to take on the 5 hour bus ride to Puyo. We were supposed to meet at the terminal, so when the time came, I packed up dinner in Tupperware containers, grabbed the suitcases and headed out. I needed to catch a cab, but I had to walk down to the main street to get one. I underestimated the weight of the suitcases, combined with the awkward plastic bags of food, and was having quite a challenge trying to walk down the road.
A police car stopped me when I was about halfway down the road and, noting my struggle and large amount of suitcases, proceeded to ask me what was wrong. Here in Ecuador the police are very sensitive to women’s issues and domestic abuse because it has traditionally been a very big problem in Latin American countries. Apparently the police thought I was running away from my husband! I explained my situation and they offered to take me close by the terminal so that I wouldn’t have to pay very much for a cab. I agreed, happily, and thoroughly enjoyed telling my husband why I arrived with the police!
Once we go on the bus the adventure was not over. About halfway to Puyo we suddenly stopped. After a few minutes we saw the problem: There was a huge rockslide along the mountain, where the road passes, and there was no way to cross. Now, in Ecuador, you can’t just get off on the next exit. There’s only one way to get to Puyo from Quito directly, and to turn around and get on the road we’d have to return to Quito, about 3 hours away, and start over, and we’d have to return going in reverse, because on the mountain there’s no way to turn around. So, needless to say, we spent the night on a mountain road, in the bus, waiting for the rockslide to be cleared away.
These things that happen here in Ecuador aren’t fun at the time, but looking back on it, I wonder how many people get to live through even one adventure while I live them every single day! I think it’s pretty cool to have these stories to tell and to finally be the one living the adventure, and not just reading about it! So, if you’d like to live some of these great, South American adventures, my doors are open! Come to Ecuador and visit us! I’m sure it will be more than you bargained for!
Week 13: A Small, Unexpected Miracle
If you remember my post from week 10 about trying to get my residency here in Ecuador, you’ll remember that I was stuck between a rock and a hard place with 26 days on my visa and no way of staying in the country. Suffice it to say that when I wrote that, I was understandably very frustrated. However, today has been a great day and has restored at least a little bit of my faith in the Ecuadorian government.
I went with Bre to the immigration office to find out about some options for her to stay in the country when she returns to Ecuador in the future. We got what we needed and we about to leave when Jairo called me and suggested that just one more time I ask about my situation to see if there’s anything I can do.
I went back to talk to Jaime, who now knows me extremely well from having seen me like once a week for 6 months. I explained my situation to him and asked if there was anything I could do. He replied that since I was trying to do paperwork and I had everything ready, he would give me an extension on my visa for 45 days! I’m not sure if this was because I really deserved it or maybe he was just tired of seeing me, but either way works for me! I have to go back to pick up the visa next week and then I’m filing my residency! I don’t know what you believe, but I know that my God is a God of miracles and I’m pretty psyched to have Him on my side!
I went with Bre to the immigration office to find out about some options for her to stay in the country when she returns to Ecuador in the future. We got what we needed and we about to leave when Jairo called me and suggested that just one more time I ask about my situation to see if there’s anything I can do.
I went back to talk to Jaime, who now knows me extremely well from having seen me like once a week for 6 months. I explained my situation to him and asked if there was anything I could do. He replied that since I was trying to do paperwork and I had everything ready, he would give me an extension on my visa for 45 days! I’m not sure if this was because I really deserved it or maybe he was just tired of seeing me, but either way works for me! I have to go back to pick up the visa next week and then I’m filing my residency! I don’t know what you believe, but I know that my God is a God of miracles and I’m pretty psyched to have Him on my side!
Week 12: Family Day
Since Jairo’s brother and sister and niece were in town for the funeral, we invited them to stay at our house overnight and visit. It was the first time they had been to our apartment. We got home in the evening and Jairo’s sister and I made dinner. We got to talk a lot, which was fun, and she taught me how to make something new! Over dinner they told me stories about when they were kids, and then we fell asleep watching movies. The next day we had a movie marathon and hung out, enjoying each other’s company.
I was sad when they had to leave. Jairo’s family from the beginning has always accepted me as part of the family and treated me really great. They have been a huge blessing to me, because here in Ecuador my only family is my husband.
When I think about our families, and how easily they have accepted each other, I think this is really the way it should be. They say, “You’re not losing a son, you’re gaining a daughter” but I think in most cases, that’s not really true. There’s all kinds of family politics and generally even though the two families usually behave, they don’t really love each other. However, in our case, my parents came to Ecuador for our wedding and met Jairo’s family, and at the wedding we all celebrated as one family. One big family with about as many differences as you can imagine. My parents felt good knowing that Jairo and his family love me, because they are far away from me, and can have some peace of mind knowing I’m in good hands. Jairo’s family accepted us as a bonus to the family. It was genuinely fun and nice.
I think this is part of God’s design for marriage. The man and woman leave their families and form their own, but even so, your family is what made you who you are, for good or bad. You might leave the house, but the family stays with you. They become your support system. In our case, my parents and my in-laws call us about once a week to check in, tell us they love us, and, recently, to warn us about the swine flu! I really am grateful to God for providing two great families for me, and I hope that all married couples can experience what a blessing it is.
I was sad when they had to leave. Jairo’s family from the beginning has always accepted me as part of the family and treated me really great. They have been a huge blessing to me, because here in Ecuador my only family is my husband.
When I think about our families, and how easily they have accepted each other, I think this is really the way it should be. They say, “You’re not losing a son, you’re gaining a daughter” but I think in most cases, that’s not really true. There’s all kinds of family politics and generally even though the two families usually behave, they don’t really love each other. However, in our case, my parents came to Ecuador for our wedding and met Jairo’s family, and at the wedding we all celebrated as one family. One big family with about as many differences as you can imagine. My parents felt good knowing that Jairo and his family love me, because they are far away from me, and can have some peace of mind knowing I’m in good hands. Jairo’s family accepted us as a bonus to the family. It was genuinely fun and nice.
I think this is part of God’s design for marriage. The man and woman leave their families and form their own, but even so, your family is what made you who you are, for good or bad. You might leave the house, but the family stays with you. They become your support system. In our case, my parents and my in-laws call us about once a week to check in, tell us they love us, and, recently, to warn us about the swine flu! I really am grateful to God for providing two great families for me, and I hope that all married couples can experience what a blessing it is.
Week 12: Funeral Thoughts
This week, Jairo’s favorite aunt died. She had cancer, and was sick for a very long time before she died. She lived here in Quito, so Jairo was able to visit her several times before she passed away. In her youth she became a Christian, but in adulthood she fell away. Only through the course of her illness did she reconcile with God, and now she’s in Heaven.
It was a very painful time for the whole family because she was very loved by everyone. However, it was also a very nice time, because we got to visit with all of Jairo’s enormous family and hear their stories and laugh with them. Jairo got the chance to talk to a lot of them about God, and in spite of the sadness, there was a lot of love present.
The funeral itself was an experience for me, because it was very different. The funeral was held the morning after she died, because here in Ecuador they don’t typically embalm, so the wake started the moment she died and lasted all night until the funeral started. In the typical Ecuadorian style it did not start on time and was not terribly organized as far as the service went. Then there was a lot of waiting and more waiting before we drove to the cemetery where they lifted the casket into a crypt type of thing in the wall. They sealed it in front of us, then everyone sang a few songs and we left. It reminded me of those old mafia movies.
It was our first family crisis, for me and Jairo, and it was hard to get through. Having had a few family members die, I knew that there really was nothing I could say or do to help Jairo other than just to be at his side. I think that was the hardest part for me, seeing how he was suffering and not being able to comfort him. Looking back on it though, I think just having been there was a lot of comfort for him.
The Bible says that we do not mourn as those who have no hope because we know that death is not the end. I’m so thankful that Jairo’s aunt was a Christian, because even though everyone was sad that she’s gone and they miss her, they can rejoice, knowing that she’s in Heaven and she’s not suffering anymore. Like Jairo said in his message at the funeral, it’s not a goodbye, it’s a see you later. Our desire is that those who are still with us will also know Jesus, so that we won’t even have to face a goodbye.
It was a very painful time for the whole family because she was very loved by everyone. However, it was also a very nice time, because we got to visit with all of Jairo’s enormous family and hear their stories and laugh with them. Jairo got the chance to talk to a lot of them about God, and in spite of the sadness, there was a lot of love present.
The funeral itself was an experience for me, because it was very different. The funeral was held the morning after she died, because here in Ecuador they don’t typically embalm, so the wake started the moment she died and lasted all night until the funeral started. In the typical Ecuadorian style it did not start on time and was not terribly organized as far as the service went. Then there was a lot of waiting and more waiting before we drove to the cemetery where they lifted the casket into a crypt type of thing in the wall. They sealed it in front of us, then everyone sang a few songs and we left. It reminded me of those old mafia movies.
It was our first family crisis, for me and Jairo, and it was hard to get through. Having had a few family members die, I knew that there really was nothing I could say or do to help Jairo other than just to be at his side. I think that was the hardest part for me, seeing how he was suffering and not being able to comfort him. Looking back on it though, I think just having been there was a lot of comfort for him.
The Bible says that we do not mourn as those who have no hope because we know that death is not the end. I’m so thankful that Jairo’s aunt was a Christian, because even though everyone was sad that she’s gone and they miss her, they can rejoice, knowing that she’s in Heaven and she’s not suffering anymore. Like Jairo said in his message at the funeral, it’s not a goodbye, it’s a see you later. Our desire is that those who are still with us will also know Jesus, so that we won’t even have to face a goodbye.
Week 12: Saying Goodbye to a New Friend
This week we had to say goodbye to a new friend. Sarah Malone from New York, a friend of Bre’s who had come to Ecuador for a month, went back to the US.
I got t know Sarah because she frequently stayed with us and Bre in our apartment. I’m always nervous about meeting friends of my friends because as women tend to be weird about things, we don’t always get along very well. However, Sarah is an extremely cool person and I really enjoyed getting to know her. I even got to translate for her twice while she preached.
I think when it comes to people I’m not very normal. I tend to very quickly get attached to people, which in the case of Sarah probably wasn’t the wisest idea since she was only in Ecuador for a month! However, I think Jairo also really enjoyed having her here, and the four of us had a lot of fun. It was hard not to get attached!
But, as I said, Sarah has returned safely to the US and is having fun with her reverse culture shock with which I am so familiar. She’s working in the ministry in New York and even though we weren’t that hapy to lose her, I am extremely happy that she’s serving God in the US. We’re hoping Sarah comes back to Ecuador someday, but until then, we’re praying for her and we’re very thankful to have had the chance to get to know her and count her as a friend.
I got t know Sarah because she frequently stayed with us and Bre in our apartment. I’m always nervous about meeting friends of my friends because as women tend to be weird about things, we don’t always get along very well. However, Sarah is an extremely cool person and I really enjoyed getting to know her. I even got to translate for her twice while she preached.
I think when it comes to people I’m not very normal. I tend to very quickly get attached to people, which in the case of Sarah probably wasn’t the wisest idea since she was only in Ecuador for a month! However, I think Jairo also really enjoyed having her here, and the four of us had a lot of fun. It was hard not to get attached!
But, as I said, Sarah has returned safely to the US and is having fun with her reverse culture shock with which I am so familiar. She’s working in the ministry in New York and even though we weren’t that hapy to lose her, I am extremely happy that she’s serving God in the US. We’re hoping Sarah comes back to Ecuador someday, but until then, we’re praying for her and we’re very thankful to have had the chance to get to know her and count her as a friend.
Week 11: Live from the South of Quito
Yesterday Jairo and I had the opportunity to go to a church in South Quito with our friend Bre to help her give a concert. She has her own cd and was invited to give a concert at a Holy Week event. She asked us to help her because here in Ecuador she has no band to play with her, so Jairo played guitar and I sang back-up. It was a lot of fun.
The church had a lot of things planned, including dance, drama, a time of praise and worship and a Christian movie. It was neat to be able to be a part of it. The church is actually close to our house and Jairo and I are talking about going back to visit now that we got to know the pastor a little bit. For us, one of our favorite things that we get to do in Ecuador is meet other Christians working to share Christ with the unsaved. It’s always such an encouragement to get to know other people working in the ministry. We also love to be a part of anything that has to do with music.
I think the best part was the chance to share the experience with a group of friends; Byron, Bre, Sarah (Bre’s friend from New York), me and Jairo. We went through the typical nervousness beforehand, adrenaline rush during the concert and meticulous critiquing of every moment afterwards, made more efficient by the videos and pictures that Sarah had recorded.
It’s neat to see how God opens the doors for unique experience that you never even imagined. I haven’t gotten to spend as much time as I would like with my friend Bre, but the times we have spent together have been a huge blessing and a lot of fun! It’s not a quantity friendship anymore, but it’s definitely quality. The coolest part is that we’re serving God together, all of us, as friends. I don’t what I’d do without Christian friends who are alongside me in ministry. It would be really difficult! Thank you, God, for all the friends you’ve blessed me with, in the US and here in Ecuador.
The church had a lot of things planned, including dance, drama, a time of praise and worship and a Christian movie. It was neat to be able to be a part of it. The church is actually close to our house and Jairo and I are talking about going back to visit now that we got to know the pastor a little bit. For us, one of our favorite things that we get to do in Ecuador is meet other Christians working to share Christ with the unsaved. It’s always such an encouragement to get to know other people working in the ministry. We also love to be a part of anything that has to do with music.
I think the best part was the chance to share the experience with a group of friends; Byron, Bre, Sarah (Bre’s friend from New York), me and Jairo. We went through the typical nervousness beforehand, adrenaline rush during the concert and meticulous critiquing of every moment afterwards, made more efficient by the videos and pictures that Sarah had recorded.
It’s neat to see how God opens the doors for unique experience that you never even imagined. I haven’t gotten to spend as much time as I would like with my friend Bre, but the times we have spent together have been a huge blessing and a lot of fun! It’s not a quantity friendship anymore, but it’s definitely quality. The coolest part is that we’re serving God together, all of us, as friends. I don’t what I’d do without Christian friends who are alongside me in ministry. It would be really difficult! Thank you, God, for all the friends you’ve blessed me with, in the US and here in Ecuador.
Week 11: Getting Connected
Ecuador isn’t what you might imagine if you’ve never been here. Yes, it’s a poor country, classified as an “underdeveloped nation” if I have my politically correct terms straight. Yes, a part of the country, known as Oriente, is jungle. But it can also be pretty modern. I don’t live in the depths of the Amazon; I live in Quito, the capital. It’s not that bad.
Even so, a lot of times I feel isolated. I get a weekly phone call from my parents, sometimes more, and usually once I week I can get online. But internet and phone calls are not always that fulfilling. Sometimes you want a more personal touch.
Not to mention that there are certain things I miss from the States. I miss Twizzlers and Starburst jelly beans. I miss apple cider. Little things that when I think about them, for just a minute, I start to miss home.
So, Jairo and I came up with the perfect solution. We got a PO Box! I cannot explain how excited I was when we got it! I can now receive letters, packages...mail! I know, for those reading my blog maybe mail is not really a novelty, but for me, it’s a huge step up in my being able to communicate with people in the US. I can’t wait to start getting mail and feeling that more personal connection that has been lacking in the last 6 months!
Even so, a lot of times I feel isolated. I get a weekly phone call from my parents, sometimes more, and usually once I week I can get online. But internet and phone calls are not always that fulfilling. Sometimes you want a more personal touch.
Not to mention that there are certain things I miss from the States. I miss Twizzlers and Starburst jelly beans. I miss apple cider. Little things that when I think about them, for just a minute, I start to miss home.
So, Jairo and I came up with the perfect solution. We got a PO Box! I cannot explain how excited I was when we got it! I can now receive letters, packages...mail! I know, for those reading my blog maybe mail is not really a novelty, but for me, it’s a huge step up in my being able to communicate with people in the US. I can’t wait to start getting mail and feeling that more personal connection that has been lacking in the last 6 months!
Week 11: Thoughts on the Easter Bunny
I was disappointed to find out that Ecuadorian Christians do very little to celebrate Easter. I have always love holidays, especially Christian ones. I find them exciting, and I like the traditions we have because they let me experience that day all over again, even though it happened over 2,000 years ago. For example, on Palm Sunday, the churches here do not have palm branches in church. What is that about? It’s PALM SUNDAY.
The pastor gave a message that was all in all a good message, but which I felt had a little too much opinion in place of just being God’s word. I think I’m spoiled...my dad in my opinion was an exemplary pastor when it came to these things; he was always organized and presented his opinion as just that—opinion. So that’s what I’m used to, and coming to Ecuador I’ve found that it’s not always what you get down here. I think it’s cultural. Here the pastor is not just a spiritual leader; he’s allowed to be a part of every aspect of your life. It’s actually kind of neat, but every once in a while I feel like my North American boundaries are being crossed.
So, as I was saying, Palm Sunday was one such day. The pastor commented that bringing Palm Branches to church was a pointless tradition that was completely unnecessary (opinion) and that really we should just remember the point of the holiday rather than get caught up in tradition. (My thought being, what if the tradition helps me remember the point of the holiday?) Then he went on to say, and here’s where the USA part of me got a little upset, that in some countries they even paint Easter eggs and go on Easter egg hunts and go see the Easter bunny instead of celebrating the real meaning of Easter.
Now, I can’t vouch for the Easter bunny. But I will say this. In my family, we were always taught the real meaning of Easter, and it was one of the most foundational days of our Christian faith. Without Easter there would be no salvation! It’s a real reason to celebrate. I’m not sure of the origins of the Easter egg, so I hesitate to really defend the tradition, but I know that in my life it was always used to enhance, not detract from, the holiday. In church we had an Easter egg hunt and the eggs had inside candy and a Bible verse. Not a bad way to get kids into the Bible! At home we colored Easter eggs and it was always a fun, wholesome time to be together as a family. We got Easter baskets, but only after church, because God was always number one.
Looking back on it, I think there was really no reason to get upset. (I didn’t say anything to the pastor, since even in my hurt feelings I realized that it was a silly thing to get upset about.) I think for me, my main complaint was on a cultural level. I told Jairo, I just think you should really understand something before you talk about it, either before you affirm it or bash it. It taught me a good lesson about acculturating. You can’t simply come into another culture and keep being the way you are. Well, you can, but you shouldn’t. I always say about people who come here from other countries, you figure they came because they wanted to. It was a choice. So they need to adapt. I say it because I have had to do it, and it has cost me a lot. It’s not easy to become something you’ve never been, but it’s as fulfilling as it is difficult. I love when Ecuadorians are surprised that I’m not from here! In those moments it has affirmed that all my hard work has paid off!
The pastor gave a message that was all in all a good message, but which I felt had a little too much opinion in place of just being God’s word. I think I’m spoiled...my dad in my opinion was an exemplary pastor when it came to these things; he was always organized and presented his opinion as just that—opinion. So that’s what I’m used to, and coming to Ecuador I’ve found that it’s not always what you get down here. I think it’s cultural. Here the pastor is not just a spiritual leader; he’s allowed to be a part of every aspect of your life. It’s actually kind of neat, but every once in a while I feel like my North American boundaries are being crossed.
So, as I was saying, Palm Sunday was one such day. The pastor commented that bringing Palm Branches to church was a pointless tradition that was completely unnecessary (opinion) and that really we should just remember the point of the holiday rather than get caught up in tradition. (My thought being, what if the tradition helps me remember the point of the holiday?) Then he went on to say, and here’s where the USA part of me got a little upset, that in some countries they even paint Easter eggs and go on Easter egg hunts and go see the Easter bunny instead of celebrating the real meaning of Easter.
Now, I can’t vouch for the Easter bunny. But I will say this. In my family, we were always taught the real meaning of Easter, and it was one of the most foundational days of our Christian faith. Without Easter there would be no salvation! It’s a real reason to celebrate. I’m not sure of the origins of the Easter egg, so I hesitate to really defend the tradition, but I know that in my life it was always used to enhance, not detract from, the holiday. In church we had an Easter egg hunt and the eggs had inside candy and a Bible verse. Not a bad way to get kids into the Bible! At home we colored Easter eggs and it was always a fun, wholesome time to be together as a family. We got Easter baskets, but only after church, because God was always number one.
Looking back on it, I think there was really no reason to get upset. (I didn’t say anything to the pastor, since even in my hurt feelings I realized that it was a silly thing to get upset about.) I think for me, my main complaint was on a cultural level. I told Jairo, I just think you should really understand something before you talk about it, either before you affirm it or bash it. It taught me a good lesson about acculturating. You can’t simply come into another culture and keep being the way you are. Well, you can, but you shouldn’t. I always say about people who come here from other countries, you figure they came because they wanted to. It was a choice. So they need to adapt. I say it because I have had to do it, and it has cost me a lot. It’s not easy to become something you’ve never been, but it’s as fulfilling as it is difficult. I love when Ecuadorians are surprised that I’m not from here! In those moments it has affirmed that all my hard work has paid off!
Week 10: Delusions of Grandeur
I decided today that I’m going to be a spy. It’s not that I’m not content with my life in the ministry—I am. It’s really rewarding work, I keep very busy and it’s never boring. I even get to travel pretty often. On the other hand, I’m not secretly breaking into buildings undetected or saving the world once a week with a wig and a different identity.
See, I’ve been watching ALIAS with my husband. We own all five seasons (they happen to have Spanish) and we’re addicts. I looked on the internet about how to become a spy, but it turned out not to be very productive. So I came back to my apartment on the third floor and I thought about how I could scale down the wall to the street, but I realized that I’m afraid of heights and don’t have any climbing equipment. My dream of being a spy all but died then, when I realized that what with my lack of equipment, fear of heights, intolerance to seeing blood and lack of kung-fu training, I don’t have much hope in the spy career.
It was a disappointing realization, to be honest. But then I thought about the work I do here with Jairo. Every day we work with our organization, Revolution Ministries, and we’re also trying to save the world. I don’t run around with tranquilizer guns and crazy wigs, I don’t break into buildings or disarm weapons, but I am a part of a very real war. It’s a war that’s been going on since before the creation of the world.
Paul says in Ephesians 6:12, “For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.” Every time an unsaved person comes to Christ, every time the sound of praise and worship fills the Ferroviaria Alta, every time we talk to people about God, every time we take time in our houses to pray and seek God, we’re doing battle. We understand that everything we do has spiritual significance.
The cool thing about this war is that it doesn’t matter that I’m afraid of heights or that I’m not kun-fu trained. The majority of this battle is won by people on their knees. God plans the missions and gives us the equipment that we need to carry it out. Maybe I still secretly would like to be a spy. It does seem pretty exciting. But even more exciting is to be part of a real battle—it’s not glamorous, but it’s not make-believe either.
See, I’ve been watching ALIAS with my husband. We own all five seasons (they happen to have Spanish) and we’re addicts. I looked on the internet about how to become a spy, but it turned out not to be very productive. So I came back to my apartment on the third floor and I thought about how I could scale down the wall to the street, but I realized that I’m afraid of heights and don’t have any climbing equipment. My dream of being a spy all but died then, when I realized that what with my lack of equipment, fear of heights, intolerance to seeing blood and lack of kung-fu training, I don’t have much hope in the spy career.
It was a disappointing realization, to be honest. But then I thought about the work I do here with Jairo. Every day we work with our organization, Revolution Ministries, and we’re also trying to save the world. I don’t run around with tranquilizer guns and crazy wigs, I don’t break into buildings or disarm weapons, but I am a part of a very real war. It’s a war that’s been going on since before the creation of the world.
Paul says in Ephesians 6:12, “For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.” Every time an unsaved person comes to Christ, every time the sound of praise and worship fills the Ferroviaria Alta, every time we talk to people about God, every time we take time in our houses to pray and seek God, we’re doing battle. We understand that everything we do has spiritual significance.
The cool thing about this war is that it doesn’t matter that I’m afraid of heights or that I’m not kun-fu trained. The majority of this battle is won by people on their knees. God plans the missions and gives us the equipment that we need to carry it out. Maybe I still secretly would like to be a spy. It does seem pretty exciting. But even more exciting is to be part of a real battle—it’s not glamorous, but it’s not make-believe either.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Week Ten: Nonsense, Nonsense, and More Nonsense
When I was younger and I would start complaining about some problem to my mom, she would ask me, “Ashley, are you looking for a solution, or do you just want to vent?” I think this is a wise question. So, I’m just letting you, the reader, know that I just want to vent.
Sometimes there are no words to describe how dumb rules can be. I mean, I’m all for rules. Rules that make sense, rules that serve some purpose, rules that protect from something, rules that are based on moral convictions...all of these are rules I respect. Rules that I do not respect are rules invented purely for the purpose of existing. It’s like someone realizes that they haven’t made and rules recently and so, purely for that reason, they make a new rule.
Here’s a rule I don’t understand. If I present all of my paperwork for residency and it is flawless, and I have 26 days left on my visa, I cannot get my residency. Why? Because the director recently made a rule, which even according to those who work in immigration is pointless, which says that I need to have 30 days left on my visa to file my paperwork. Not 26 days, 30 days. The best part is that in all the time we have been working with these lovely people, they never felt it necessary to mention that rule to us.
So what do I do? We’re squabbling over 4 days. 4 days! They suggest to me that I file the paperwork as if I were out of the country, then afterwards send a letter saying I find myself in the country again and would like the paperwork filed in Ecuador. So I consider this for a moment and then marvel as I realize that rather than letting me file my paperwork legally, they are counseling me to break the law, the actual law not some made up rule, twice!
And so, my friends, I have reached an impasse with my residency paperwork. But, I am trying to be calm and wait on God, because I’m sure He has a plan. He always does. I just every once in a while wish He would hurry up and tell me!!
I found this verse, and it made me feel a lot better: “Wait for the Lord and keep His way, and He will exalt you to inherit the land; you will look on when the wicked are cut off.”
Hopefully this verse applies to my own life, and that land is Ecuador! I’ll keep you posted...thanks for letting me vent.
Sometimes there are no words to describe how dumb rules can be. I mean, I’m all for rules. Rules that make sense, rules that serve some purpose, rules that protect from something, rules that are based on moral convictions...all of these are rules I respect. Rules that I do not respect are rules invented purely for the purpose of existing. It’s like someone realizes that they haven’t made and rules recently and so, purely for that reason, they make a new rule.
Here’s a rule I don’t understand. If I present all of my paperwork for residency and it is flawless, and I have 26 days left on my visa, I cannot get my residency. Why? Because the director recently made a rule, which even according to those who work in immigration is pointless, which says that I need to have 30 days left on my visa to file my paperwork. Not 26 days, 30 days. The best part is that in all the time we have been working with these lovely people, they never felt it necessary to mention that rule to us.
So what do I do? We’re squabbling over 4 days. 4 days! They suggest to me that I file the paperwork as if I were out of the country, then afterwards send a letter saying I find myself in the country again and would like the paperwork filed in Ecuador. So I consider this for a moment and then marvel as I realize that rather than letting me file my paperwork legally, they are counseling me to break the law, the actual law not some made up rule, twice!
And so, my friends, I have reached an impasse with my residency paperwork. But, I am trying to be calm and wait on God, because I’m sure He has a plan. He always does. I just every once in a while wish He would hurry up and tell me!!
I found this verse, and it made me feel a lot better: “Wait for the Lord and keep His way, and He will exalt you to inherit the land; you will look on when the wicked are cut off.”
Hopefully this verse applies to my own life, and that land is Ecuador! I’ll keep you posted...thanks for letting me vent.
Week Nine: Two Months Married
Today is our two-month anniversary. Looking back on the last two months, I’m once again struck by the way time works. How can a day like my wedding day feel so far away and yet so recent?
I think it’s because of the sheer amount of events that can fit into a two-month period of time, especially when those events revolve around the ministry, and then on top of that there’s mountains of legal work to be done in order to gain my residency! We have a schedule not to be envied! Almost every day is jam-packed, from the time we get up in the morning until the time we go to sleep. Even bedtime is pushed back in order to work on that last-minute project for one of the many ministries we’re involved in.
At the same time, I feel like two months is a long time and it has gone by entirely too quickly. It seems like we still are not even really settled into the routine of married life yet. We haven’t been able to plan too far into the future because today is way too complicated to even think about tomorrow.
So this anniversary finds me content that we’ve made it through another milestone month, but wondering when life is going to take on a more predictable quality. I know that might sound strange, but when you’re life is completely unpredictable, it makes you long for a little bit of certainty. I think if there’s one thing that our life is missing, it’s that. But all in all, I think if that’s the worst of our problems, we have a lot to be thankful for.
I think it’s because of the sheer amount of events that can fit into a two-month period of time, especially when those events revolve around the ministry, and then on top of that there’s mountains of legal work to be done in order to gain my residency! We have a schedule not to be envied! Almost every day is jam-packed, from the time we get up in the morning until the time we go to sleep. Even bedtime is pushed back in order to work on that last-minute project for one of the many ministries we’re involved in.
At the same time, I feel like two months is a long time and it has gone by entirely too quickly. It seems like we still are not even really settled into the routine of married life yet. We haven’t been able to plan too far into the future because today is way too complicated to even think about tomorrow.
So this anniversary finds me content that we’ve made it through another milestone month, but wondering when life is going to take on a more predictable quality. I know that might sound strange, but when you’re life is completely unpredictable, it makes you long for a little bit of certainty. I think if there’s one thing that our life is missing, it’s that. But all in all, I think if that’s the worst of our problems, we have a lot to be thankful for.
Week Ten: A New Addition to the Family
Let me put your mind at ease...no, I’m not pregnant! Thank goodness! But I do have a new baby...a baby rabbit! I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this yet in my blog, but I love animals. I absolutely adore them. I think my ideal place to live would be on a farm. One animal that I always wanted to have was a bunny. They’re so soft and adorable...
I was thoroughly warned about rabbits. First my mom warned me that her friend has a rabbit and likened it to a furry little demon. Then my husband gently reminded me that if we were to buy a bunny, he would have no part in taking care of it. I began to have doubts. What’s so bad about bunnies?
Well, when we arrived at the market and saw the adorable little bunnies there, my mind was made up. No more doubts. I wanted a bunny, come what may! The repeated “are you sure?” from my husband fell on deaf ears. I was in love with my new little bunny!
I have to say that my personal experience with my bunny has been a positive one. I had no idea how bunnies behave. First of all they eat everything, so you have to be careful about that. I find myself checking on my bunny every 3-5 minutes all day long if I’m home, making sure she’s not getting into trouble. (She usually is.) I think in this respect it’s much like having a toddler in the house. My bunny is a picky eater; she has to have variety. Jairo says she’s definitely in the right house, since she’s so much like me! But most of all this rabbit is hilarious. I find myself laughing all the time when she’s allowed to roam around the house. Even Jairo has taken to her.
Having a rabbit has been interesting as well because of the conversations it has sparked between Jairo and me. A lot of times we end up talking about parenting, usually with a comment I’ll make to him such as “You know, having a baby is a hundred times worse than this. If you want to have kids you’ll have to toughen up!” It makes for fun conversations and musings about the children that we someday (but not any day soon) want to have. Realizing the commitment involved in parenting (albeit parenting a rabbit for now) has made me appreciate the uninterrupted time that I have with Jairo now. I would love to have kids, maybe even a lot of them, but I’ve realized the importance of this formative time of our relationship.
As the Bible says, “For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; a time to seek, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; a time to tear, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; a time to love, and a time to hate; a time for war, and a time for peace.” (Ecc. 3:1-8)
I think much of life is understanding what time we’re in and being content to ride it out. The time for being newlyweds is just as important as the time for growing old together. And trusting God’s promise in Romans 8:28 that all thins work together for our good, we must be patient and trust that God knows exactly what time of our life is necessary. If I were to rewrite the passage of Scripture above to apply to our marriage, it might be something like this:
*For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter in our marriage: a time to have a wedding, a time to grow old; a time to invest time in each other, a time to reap the benefits of that investment; a time to argue, a time to make up; a time to change course, a time to keep going; a time to cry, a time to laugh; a time to mourn, a time to celebrate; a time to buy bunnies, a time to have children; a time to embrace, a time to keep our distance; a time to win, a time to lose (even when I know I’m right!); a time to cling, a time to let go; a time to wound for the other’s good, a time to heal; a time to be silent (I need to learn this!), a time to speak; a time to love, a time to love even more; a time for war and a time for peace.*
I was thoroughly warned about rabbits. First my mom warned me that her friend has a rabbit and likened it to a furry little demon. Then my husband gently reminded me that if we were to buy a bunny, he would have no part in taking care of it. I began to have doubts. What’s so bad about bunnies?
Well, when we arrived at the market and saw the adorable little bunnies there, my mind was made up. No more doubts. I wanted a bunny, come what may! The repeated “are you sure?” from my husband fell on deaf ears. I was in love with my new little bunny!
I have to say that my personal experience with my bunny has been a positive one. I had no idea how bunnies behave. First of all they eat everything, so you have to be careful about that. I find myself checking on my bunny every 3-5 minutes all day long if I’m home, making sure she’s not getting into trouble. (She usually is.) I think in this respect it’s much like having a toddler in the house. My bunny is a picky eater; she has to have variety. Jairo says she’s definitely in the right house, since she’s so much like me! But most of all this rabbit is hilarious. I find myself laughing all the time when she’s allowed to roam around the house. Even Jairo has taken to her.
Having a rabbit has been interesting as well because of the conversations it has sparked between Jairo and me. A lot of times we end up talking about parenting, usually with a comment I’ll make to him such as “You know, having a baby is a hundred times worse than this. If you want to have kids you’ll have to toughen up!” It makes for fun conversations and musings about the children that we someday (but not any day soon) want to have. Realizing the commitment involved in parenting (albeit parenting a rabbit for now) has made me appreciate the uninterrupted time that I have with Jairo now. I would love to have kids, maybe even a lot of them, but I’ve realized the importance of this formative time of our relationship.
As the Bible says, “For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; a time to seek, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; a time to tear, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; a time to love, and a time to hate; a time for war, and a time for peace.” (Ecc. 3:1-8)
I think much of life is understanding what time we’re in and being content to ride it out. The time for being newlyweds is just as important as the time for growing old together. And trusting God’s promise in Romans 8:28 that all thins work together for our good, we must be patient and trust that God knows exactly what time of our life is necessary. If I were to rewrite the passage of Scripture above to apply to our marriage, it might be something like this:
*For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter in our marriage: a time to have a wedding, a time to grow old; a time to invest time in each other, a time to reap the benefits of that investment; a time to argue, a time to make up; a time to change course, a time to keep going; a time to cry, a time to laugh; a time to mourn, a time to celebrate; a time to buy bunnies, a time to have children; a time to embrace, a time to keep our distance; a time to win, a time to lose (even when I know I’m right!); a time to cling, a time to let go; a time to wound for the other’s good, a time to heal; a time to be silent (I need to learn this!), a time to speak; a time to love, a time to love even more; a time for war and a time for peace.*
Week Eight: My Birthday!
This week I had my birthday! I turned 22. (I know, I’m getting so old!) The night before my birthday my whole family called me. All told the callers were my parents, my sister Tina, her husband Ryan and their two kids Bryce and Paige, My brother Nick who was home on leave from Afghanistan and his wife Taysha, my uncle Mike and my aunt Linda. It was a great surprise! (Although afterwards I felt somewhat homesick and nostalgic!)
My birthday fell on a Sunday, so after church when the people from our church caught wind of the fact that it was my birthday, they invited me to go to a cookout they wanted to have in my honor. Jairo and I decided to go, and spent most of the day there, hanging out, eating and watching a movie. It was another great example of the famous Ecuadorian hospitality, since they bought the food, soda and cake for me on the spot.
One birthday tradition I found unpleasant was one that I encountered after blowing out the candles on my birthday cake. As soon as I made a wish and blew them out everyone started chanting “Bite the cake! Bite the cake!” My reaction was a firm, “NO!” It sounded like a disgusting idea to me. Why would I bite the cake that everyone was going to eat? Well, eventually they tired of my resistance and I then realized the point of biting the cake, as the pastor shoved the cake in my face! I wasn’t that happy about it!
I told Bre about it later and we agreed that if you pulled that in the States, there’s a good chance you’d get punched! Jairo, however, didn’t see why it was bad. I asked him later, shocked, why they do that here. He replied that it’s just what they do, and it’s fun. Fun for everyone else maybe! I guess I still have some things to learn about Ecuadorian culture!
My birthday fell on a Sunday, so after church when the people from our church caught wind of the fact that it was my birthday, they invited me to go to a cookout they wanted to have in my honor. Jairo and I decided to go, and spent most of the day there, hanging out, eating and watching a movie. It was another great example of the famous Ecuadorian hospitality, since they bought the food, soda and cake for me on the spot.
One birthday tradition I found unpleasant was one that I encountered after blowing out the candles on my birthday cake. As soon as I made a wish and blew them out everyone started chanting “Bite the cake! Bite the cake!” My reaction was a firm, “NO!” It sounded like a disgusting idea to me. Why would I bite the cake that everyone was going to eat? Well, eventually they tired of my resistance and I then realized the point of biting the cake, as the pastor shoved the cake in my face! I wasn’t that happy about it!
I told Bre about it later and we agreed that if you pulled that in the States, there’s a good chance you’d get punched! Jairo, however, didn’t see why it was bad. I asked him later, shocked, why they do that here. He replied that it’s just what they do, and it’s fun. Fun for everyone else maybe! I guess I still have some things to learn about Ecuadorian culture!
Week Seven: A Blast from the Past
This week Jairo and I went to eat dinner with some friends from the US that were in Ecuador on a short-term missions trip. It was a reunion of mixed emotions for me. On the one hand, I was really excited to see them, and Jairo was too. On the other hand, it was an awkward situation, because it had been over seven months since I had seen them, and I realized how drastically I have changed.
First of all, I have changed linguistically. It’s much easier for me to speak Spanish than English. Something that you may not realize if you don’t speak two languages is that the majority of what you say in one language you cannot translate perfectly into the other. In order to reach the point where you are bilingual, you have to not just understand the words but also the culture behind the language. You have to learn to think differently. In essence, you become another person. I know it sounds unbelievable, but I have experienced it, and have talked with many other people who have experienced it as well. So, sitting there with my friends from seven months ago, I found that they were the same, or maybe slightly different, and I was worlds apart from them.
Secondly, I have changed in my perspectives. Living a life of full-time ministry and immersing myself in a completely different culture I found I was often in disagreement with the most basic statements that my friends would make. My response was generally to say nothing; after all, there’s no reason to get into those long discussions when you’re only going to see each other for one day! It’s better just to enjoy the time together, I think.
It was an experience that will stick with me for a while, because it was when I started to really realize how “successful” my acculturation has been! I’m more Ecuadorian than North American now! What a strange realization to come to!
First of all, I have changed linguistically. It’s much easier for me to speak Spanish than English. Something that you may not realize if you don’t speak two languages is that the majority of what you say in one language you cannot translate perfectly into the other. In order to reach the point where you are bilingual, you have to not just understand the words but also the culture behind the language. You have to learn to think differently. In essence, you become another person. I know it sounds unbelievable, but I have experienced it, and have talked with many other people who have experienced it as well. So, sitting there with my friends from seven months ago, I found that they were the same, or maybe slightly different, and I was worlds apart from them.
Secondly, I have changed in my perspectives. Living a life of full-time ministry and immersing myself in a completely different culture I found I was often in disagreement with the most basic statements that my friends would make. My response was generally to say nothing; after all, there’s no reason to get into those long discussions when you’re only going to see each other for one day! It’s better just to enjoy the time together, I think.
It was an experience that will stick with me for a while, because it was when I started to really realize how “successful” my acculturation has been! I’m more Ecuadorian than North American now! What a strange realization to come to!
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Week Seven: The Theology of Giving
I’m going to say something that you will probably think is crazy. I know the secret to having everything you need and want. You can have money, a car, a house, whatever it is that you want, within reason.
Interested? Give away everything you have. Give away your last penny to someone who will never pay you back.
God wants us to give to Him. He wants us to be the light of the world. He wants us to be willing to give everything to back up who we are in Him. But this command comes with a promise. In Malachi God demands our tithes and offerings, but offers also His provision. “Bring the full tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. And thereby put me to the test, says the Lord of Hosts, if I will not open the windows of Heaven for you and pour down for you a blessing until there is no more need.”
When Jairo and I need money for something, we give. And we don’t give fifty cents or five dollars. We give until it hurts. And you know what? We always have what we need. Money is nothing for God. He just wants to know where our hearts are. He loves to provide for us, and even more if we are depending on Him.
Who are you depending on? Your job? Yourself? Do you know who gave you your job? Do you know who gives you life each day? Serve God and give to Him, and He will bless you beyond your wildest dreams.
If you happen to see our bank account someday, don’t worry if it’s empty. We’re just making room for more.
Interested? Give away everything you have. Give away your last penny to someone who will never pay you back.
God wants us to give to Him. He wants us to be the light of the world. He wants us to be willing to give everything to back up who we are in Him. But this command comes with a promise. In Malachi God demands our tithes and offerings, but offers also His provision. “Bring the full tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. And thereby put me to the test, says the Lord of Hosts, if I will not open the windows of Heaven for you and pour down for you a blessing until there is no more need.”
When Jairo and I need money for something, we give. And we don’t give fifty cents or five dollars. We give until it hurts. And you know what? We always have what we need. Money is nothing for God. He just wants to know where our hearts are. He loves to provide for us, and even more if we are depending on Him.
Who are you depending on? Your job? Yourself? Do you know who gave you your job? Do you know who gives you life each day? Serve God and give to Him, and He will bless you beyond your wildest dreams.
If you happen to see our bank account someday, don’t worry if it’s empty. We’re just making room for more.
Week Seven: The ¨Day of the Woman¨
Here in Ecuador they have a special holiday just for women. It’s like mother’s day, only you don’t have to be a mother. They had a special moment in church for it and gave out roses to all the women, even the little girls.
Jairo always treats me really well, and takes great care of me, but he’s not always super tender and loving. It’s not because he doesn’t want to be. It’s because sometimes he’s tired, sick, stressed, etc. and on top of that, he’s a man! But today, on the “day of the woman” I could see how happy he was to be with me. I could see the effort he made to make the day special. I could see how much he loved me.
I think we women have to remember something, too. As a wife, when our husbands come home from work, every day should be “the day of the man”. These godly men sacrifice their time and effort to provide for us, to care for us and to show us in some way that they love us. They need to feel that we appreciate them and love them every day, not just one day a year. The most beautiful thing about marriage is that you can express your pure love for the person you married without shame or embarrassment. You can be loving and tender any time you want. It’s your right! AND your responsibility. If we are good wives every day, every day can be the “day of the woman” too. It depends on us!!
Jairo always treats me really well, and takes great care of me, but he’s not always super tender and loving. It’s not because he doesn’t want to be. It’s because sometimes he’s tired, sick, stressed, etc. and on top of that, he’s a man! But today, on the “day of the woman” I could see how happy he was to be with me. I could see the effort he made to make the day special. I could see how much he loved me.
I think we women have to remember something, too. As a wife, when our husbands come home from work, every day should be “the day of the man”. These godly men sacrifice their time and effort to provide for us, to care for us and to show us in some way that they love us. They need to feel that we appreciate them and love them every day, not just one day a year. The most beautiful thing about marriage is that you can express your pure love for the person you married without shame or embarrassment. You can be loving and tender any time you want. It’s your right! AND your responsibility. If we are good wives every day, every day can be the “day of the woman” too. It depends on us!!
Week Six: Seeing my Husband in a New Light
My husband has seen how much I don’t like being home alone all day, and he does his best not to leave me alone for too long, but sometimes he has to because of work. He’s a graphic designer working from home in his own business that he has with a few friends, and so some days he designs at home, some days he leaves to go get new clients, or to install something He has designed, and sometimes he just does errands. Today, however, he took pity on me and invited me to go with him, because it was just an errand day.
This was the first time I got to go with him for his work, and I was excited. He warned me that it was a lot of walking and we wouldn’t be able to slow down or rest, and I accepted the challenge. It was such an interesting experience. My legs are definitely sore—he wasn’t kidding about the walking! But even so, I’m glad I went. I’ve seen how talented he is at designing things because he always asks my opinion on his designs. But I’ve never actually seen him in action, until today.
I felt incredibly proud of him, listening as he talked to different vendors trying to get the best deal while delivering to his clients the best product. He was such a professional and an expert. I admire my husband for many reasons, and now I have one more.
I think it’s good to look for the talents and good qualities in our spouses. So often it’s easy to just see them in one light. The man who never washes the dishes. The woman who always nags. But when you actually get a chance to see them in their element, it’s enlightening. I feel like I know a whole new side of my husband that I didn’t know before. I encourage all you married women out there to take the next opportunity you have to see your husband in a different environment. Plus, if he’s inviting you it means he wants to share it with you!
This was the first time I got to go with him for his work, and I was excited. He warned me that it was a lot of walking and we wouldn’t be able to slow down or rest, and I accepted the challenge. It was such an interesting experience. My legs are definitely sore—he wasn’t kidding about the walking! But even so, I’m glad I went. I’ve seen how talented he is at designing things because he always asks my opinion on his designs. But I’ve never actually seen him in action, until today.
I felt incredibly proud of him, listening as he talked to different vendors trying to get the best deal while delivering to his clients the best product. He was such a professional and an expert. I admire my husband for many reasons, and now I have one more.
I think it’s good to look for the talents and good qualities in our spouses. So often it’s easy to just see them in one light. The man who never washes the dishes. The woman who always nags. But when you actually get a chance to see them in their element, it’s enlightening. I feel like I know a whole new side of my husband that I didn’t know before. I encourage all you married women out there to take the next opportunity you have to see your husband in a different environment. Plus, if he’s inviting you it means he wants to share it with you!
Week Six: My Justice vs. God´s Justice
I recently found out that someone I considered a close friend who lives in the US has been spreading lies about me to my other friends at my old church. It hurt me a lot to find this out, because this is a friend I trusted. I’m not sure why this person has started behaving this way, but it really hurts me.
I’ve wanted to be able to defend myself so that these destructive lies don’t affect my other friendships, but this person has been very crafty in the way they have told these lies, so that whatever I do, I look guilty. It’s something I’ve taken to God with a lot of tears, and He brought to my memory the story of Saul and David.
David was anointed to be king over Israel, and Saul, the current king, was jealous of David, and tried to have him killed, even though David had been like a son to him and was the best friend of Saul’s son Jonathan. Many years Saul pursued David, and one night David had the chance to kill Saul and take control of the kingdom of Israel. He snuck into Saul’s camp, and rather than killing him, cut off a piece of his robe. Then he snuck out and from afar called to Saul, with the corner of his robe in his hand and said, “May the Lord judge between me and you, may the Lord avenge me against you, but my hand shall not be against you.”
David could have had his revenge against Saul, but David believed God, and eventually God gave him justice in a much better way than what David could have done. Paul echoes this idea in Romans when he says, “Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written ‘Vengeance is mine, I will repay’ says the Lord.”
Whatever I could do or say to make this person regret what they’ve done, what they’re still doing, is nothing compared to what God will do if I wait for His perfect justice. I hope that when God corrects this person, our friendship will be restored. I know that God is faithful, and I believe He will give me justice, just like He gave to David.
I’ve wanted to be able to defend myself so that these destructive lies don’t affect my other friendships, but this person has been very crafty in the way they have told these lies, so that whatever I do, I look guilty. It’s something I’ve taken to God with a lot of tears, and He brought to my memory the story of Saul and David.
David was anointed to be king over Israel, and Saul, the current king, was jealous of David, and tried to have him killed, even though David had been like a son to him and was the best friend of Saul’s son Jonathan. Many years Saul pursued David, and one night David had the chance to kill Saul and take control of the kingdom of Israel. He snuck into Saul’s camp, and rather than killing him, cut off a piece of his robe. Then he snuck out and from afar called to Saul, with the corner of his robe in his hand and said, “May the Lord judge between me and you, may the Lord avenge me against you, but my hand shall not be against you.”
David could have had his revenge against Saul, but David believed God, and eventually God gave him justice in a much better way than what David could have done. Paul echoes this idea in Romans when he says, “Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written ‘Vengeance is mine, I will repay’ says the Lord.”
Whatever I could do or say to make this person regret what they’ve done, what they’re still doing, is nothing compared to what God will do if I wait for His perfect justice. I hope that when God corrects this person, our friendship will be restored. I know that God is faithful, and I believe He will give me justice, just like He gave to David.
Week Five: Why is it so Quiet?
Week five is ending, and my house is unnervingly quiet. Bre, my best friend who has been living here with us, left yesterday. She’s coming back in a few weeks to stay for a few months, so I can’t be too sad, but still, I feel lonely. Jairo is working all day, and I miss the company I had in the house in previous weeks.
This is the first time since we got back from our honeymoon and Jairo started working that I have been alone in the house. I don’t like it. Every little noise weirds me out and time seems to pass really slowly. I can only wash the dishes and sweep the floor for so long until I have nothing left to do.
I’m not sure if this is something I will get used to or just something I’ll deal with. Don’t get me wrong. I really like being the domestic wife, cooking the meals, cleaning the house, and making sure all is in order. I’m content in my role. I just don’t like feeling alone. I want Bre back!
Jairo likes to tell me that I’m never alone, because wherever I am I have three great people with me: God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. Sometimes I’m tempted to roll my eyes at this, but he’s actually right. How many times do we live our lives completely ignorant to the fact that God is right there with us? He sees every good and evil thing we do, hears every word we say, and even sees into our hearts. That kind of intimacy is impossible with humans, but with God all things are possible. He knows me better than anyone in the universe. I really can take comfort in the fact that I’m never alone. I’m in better hands than Allstate. I’m in the only hands that can heal me, protect me, guide me, comfort me, provide for me, and give me peace. There’s no better place to be.
This is the first time since we got back from our honeymoon and Jairo started working that I have been alone in the house. I don’t like it. Every little noise weirds me out and time seems to pass really slowly. I can only wash the dishes and sweep the floor for so long until I have nothing left to do.
I’m not sure if this is something I will get used to or just something I’ll deal with. Don’t get me wrong. I really like being the domestic wife, cooking the meals, cleaning the house, and making sure all is in order. I’m content in my role. I just don’t like feeling alone. I want Bre back!
Jairo likes to tell me that I’m never alone, because wherever I am I have three great people with me: God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. Sometimes I’m tempted to roll my eyes at this, but he’s actually right. How many times do we live our lives completely ignorant to the fact that God is right there with us? He sees every good and evil thing we do, hears every word we say, and even sees into our hearts. That kind of intimacy is impossible with humans, but with God all things are possible. He knows me better than anyone in the universe. I really can take comfort in the fact that I’m never alone. I’m in better hands than Allstate. I’m in the only hands that can heal me, protect me, guide me, comfort me, provide for me, and give me peace. There’s no better place to be.
Week Five: The Cold that Refuses to Die
I’m not sure how long I’ve had this cold. I feel like it’s been an eternity. It’s one of those that just when you think you’re getting better, it hits you ten times harder.
What I don’t like about colds is there’s like no way to function normally. If you don’t take medicine, you feel horrible. If you take medicine, you feel groggy and weird. What’s a girl to do?
It’s frustrating when you want to be able to do something 100% and all you’re capable of is the bare minimum. You can’t just stay home in bed when your job is serving God. You have to get up, try to be as happy as possible, and be there because people are depending on you. It’s hard to do if you focus on your own weakness and imperfections, but if you focus on the example of Christ, it’s a little easier.
Like Paul says in Philippians 3:8-14, “Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith—that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, that by any means possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead. Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.”
I like how Paul says that it is an upward call. It’s a call to be more than what you are, to be better than what you’ve been. We all know that walking uphill is harder than walking downhill. It’s a struggle, and sometimes, like here in Quito because of the altitude, you think you might pass out before you get to the top. But when you are walking with a friend it’s easier, isn’t it? You see them and they don’t even look tired, and it motivates you to go a little further, if only to not look like a fatty. We have to remember that it is an upward call, but we are not alone. We are walking with Jesus, and He can be our motivation to keep going a little further.
What I don’t like about colds is there’s like no way to function normally. If you don’t take medicine, you feel horrible. If you take medicine, you feel groggy and weird. What’s a girl to do?
It’s frustrating when you want to be able to do something 100% and all you’re capable of is the bare minimum. You can’t just stay home in bed when your job is serving God. You have to get up, try to be as happy as possible, and be there because people are depending on you. It’s hard to do if you focus on your own weakness and imperfections, but if you focus on the example of Christ, it’s a little easier.
Like Paul says in Philippians 3:8-14, “Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith—that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, that by any means possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead. Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.”
I like how Paul says that it is an upward call. It’s a call to be more than what you are, to be better than what you’ve been. We all know that walking uphill is harder than walking downhill. It’s a struggle, and sometimes, like here in Quito because of the altitude, you think you might pass out before you get to the top. But when you are walking with a friend it’s easier, isn’t it? You see them and they don’t even look tired, and it motivates you to go a little further, if only to not look like a fatty. We have to remember that it is an upward call, but we are not alone. We are walking with Jesus, and He can be our motivation to keep going a little further.
Week Five: One Month Married!
Today is February 24th, one month after our wedding day. To celebrate Jairo took me to eat Italian, my favorite! It’s weird...I feel like we’ve been married so much less and so much more than one month! In one way I feel like our wedding was just yesterday and I can’t believe how quickly time passes. On the other hand, we have had so many experiences, so much has happened, and we’ve grown so much as a couple that I can’t believe so much has happened in so little time.
They say that the first year of marriage is the hardest. I’m not sure if that’s true because I’ve only been married for a month, but I feel like we’ve accomplished something by being married for a month. I think every day that we stay together and keep loving each other is a day worth celebrating in a world where divorce is so common. And if it is true what they say, we’re officially 1/12 of the way through the hardest time of our marriage and still going strong! Now that’s something to celebrate!
They say that the first year of marriage is the hardest. I’m not sure if that’s true because I’ve only been married for a month, but I feel like we’ve accomplished something by being married for a month. I think every day that we stay together and keep loving each other is a day worth celebrating in a world where divorce is so common. And if it is true what they say, we’re officially 1/12 of the way through the hardest time of our marriage and still going strong! Now that’s something to celebrate!
Week Five: My Newly-Discovered Intolerance to Bloodshed
The adventures never end in Ecuador. I was cooking dinner, and Bre was helping me. She was washing the dishes when I hear something break. I turn to Bre to see what happened, and see that her thumb is gushing blood on top of a broken plate. And I mean, gushing. She ran to the bathroom, and then I heard her start moaning and sounding generally bad, so I went to see how she was. She said she needed something to stop the bleeding, and we’re in Ecuador so I don’t have bandages and stuff. I grab some napkins, and upon arriving to the bathroom realize from the amount of blood that the napkins aren’t going to cut it. I grab a clean towel and we tie it around the injured thumb with some left over ribbon from my wedding.
I calmly advise my husband that we will need to be making a trip to the hospital. He asks why we don’t just have Bre suck on it until it stops bleeding. He hasn’t seen the carnage in the bathroom. I try to stay calm and insist on leaving. He sees Bre and says, “Wow, she’s really pale. Let’s Go.”
We go to the pharmacy nearby to see what we should do. (They are like physician’s assistants there.) The guy says we absolutely need to get her stitches. She’s bleeding through the towel, but I brought another one. He tells us there’s a clinic like two blocks down the road so we walk there and find that they are still open. Good.
They only let me and Bre in, just so I can translate. They tell us to sit down and one of the two guys starts this sales pitch to the doctor. I got mad. I said, “Excuse me, I’m sorry to interrupt your meeting, but my friend is bleeding. I don’t know if you knew.” Welcome to Ecuador.
They realize I’m angry and the doctor decides he will see Bre now. He takes off the towel and there was so much blood I swear we were in Braveheart. I tell Bre not to look at it, it’s fine, while trying not to faint. He gives her a shot to numb it and starts sewing her up, and I’m starting to feel like I’m going to need medical attention too. “Don’t worry Bre, it’s fine. NO DON’T LOOK!!”
Well, thirty dollars and five stitches later, Bre and I are hobbling out of the doctor’s office. She’s lost like at least a pint of blood, and I feel like I have too. I have never seen so much blood come out of a person.
The good news is that during the stitches I got her to laugh several times by telling her I was going to faint. I’m not sure she knew I was serious. I felt woozy the whole rest of the night. It was incredible.
I never knew I was that intolerant to seeing blood. Well, now I know. At least I got through it without fainting. I’d hate to steal Bre’s thunder!
I calmly advise my husband that we will need to be making a trip to the hospital. He asks why we don’t just have Bre suck on it until it stops bleeding. He hasn’t seen the carnage in the bathroom. I try to stay calm and insist on leaving. He sees Bre and says, “Wow, she’s really pale. Let’s Go.”
We go to the pharmacy nearby to see what we should do. (They are like physician’s assistants there.) The guy says we absolutely need to get her stitches. She’s bleeding through the towel, but I brought another one. He tells us there’s a clinic like two blocks down the road so we walk there and find that they are still open. Good.
They only let me and Bre in, just so I can translate. They tell us to sit down and one of the two guys starts this sales pitch to the doctor. I got mad. I said, “Excuse me, I’m sorry to interrupt your meeting, but my friend is bleeding. I don’t know if you knew.” Welcome to Ecuador.
They realize I’m angry and the doctor decides he will see Bre now. He takes off the towel and there was so much blood I swear we were in Braveheart. I tell Bre not to look at it, it’s fine, while trying not to faint. He gives her a shot to numb it and starts sewing her up, and I’m starting to feel like I’m going to need medical attention too. “Don’t worry Bre, it’s fine. NO DON’T LOOK!!”
Well, thirty dollars and five stitches later, Bre and I are hobbling out of the doctor’s office. She’s lost like at least a pint of blood, and I feel like I have too. I have never seen so much blood come out of a person.
The good news is that during the stitches I got her to laugh several times by telling her I was going to faint. I’m not sure she knew I was serious. I felt woozy the whole rest of the night. It was incredible.
I never knew I was that intolerant to seeing blood. Well, now I know. At least I got through it without fainting. I’d hate to steal Bre’s thunder!
Week Four: Why Carnaval Made Me Violent
I’m not proud of myself. Ok, maybe a little.
See, right now we’re in Carnaval in Ecuador. It’s like Mardi Gras, but rather than having huge sin parties in New Orleans and flashing people for beads, here in Ecuador people try to get you wet. Water guns, water balloons, buckets of water...whatever. And you know, Quito is cold.
So, one day I’m walking with Bre down to catch the bus, and some guys throw literally like four buckets of freezing cold water on us from a rooftop. Not amused, I just kept walking as if nothing had happened, since I figured that most of why they do it is probably just to get a reaction. Very third grade in my opinion. In spite of the fact that they got a bunch of my books wet, I did my very best not to get mad.
Well, a few days pass and Bre and I go to the store to buy potatoes. I was already in a bad mood because Jairo and I had had a disagreement, and I also didn’t feel good. We walked by a mormon temple on our way and saw them playing with buckets of water and eyeing us suspiciously. On our way back, they start to approach with the buckets of water. I was not in the mood. I asked them not to get us wet (Bre had already run away...chicken.) and appealed to their sense of morals as they were coming from a temple. They obviously felt bad and explained it was just a game, but I said I didn’t care, we’re from the US and we don’t do that. So, situation diffused, they weren’t going to get me wet. (See, part of what I do here is diplomacy.)
Well, this is how diplomacy breaks down. One boy, who had not heard the conversation, came running up with the bucket to get me wet. I took this as a personal attack on my safety and before he could get me wet, threw the bucket back in his face, got him wet, and then chased him all the way back to his temple. He ran like a little girl, and honestly looked terrified. It was kind of awesome.
It was the first time in my life that I have ever actually attacked a person. Although in all fairness I wasn’t going to hurt him. The most ironic part is that the day before in our Compassion International group, I had taught our students about the difference between righteous and unrighteous anger. Bre and I agreed that my anger in this case was righteous!! I reasoned that if Elisha can send bears on a group of kids that call him “baldy”, I can chase a kid who tries to make me catch a cold in Quito.
What do you think? :)
See, right now we’re in Carnaval in Ecuador. It’s like Mardi Gras, but rather than having huge sin parties in New Orleans and flashing people for beads, here in Ecuador people try to get you wet. Water guns, water balloons, buckets of water...whatever. And you know, Quito is cold.
So, one day I’m walking with Bre down to catch the bus, and some guys throw literally like four buckets of freezing cold water on us from a rooftop. Not amused, I just kept walking as if nothing had happened, since I figured that most of why they do it is probably just to get a reaction. Very third grade in my opinion. In spite of the fact that they got a bunch of my books wet, I did my very best not to get mad.
Well, a few days pass and Bre and I go to the store to buy potatoes. I was already in a bad mood because Jairo and I had had a disagreement, and I also didn’t feel good. We walked by a mormon temple on our way and saw them playing with buckets of water and eyeing us suspiciously. On our way back, they start to approach with the buckets of water. I was not in the mood. I asked them not to get us wet (Bre had already run away...chicken.) and appealed to their sense of morals as they were coming from a temple. They obviously felt bad and explained it was just a game, but I said I didn’t care, we’re from the US and we don’t do that. So, situation diffused, they weren’t going to get me wet. (See, part of what I do here is diplomacy.)
Well, this is how diplomacy breaks down. One boy, who had not heard the conversation, came running up with the bucket to get me wet. I took this as a personal attack on my safety and before he could get me wet, threw the bucket back in his face, got him wet, and then chased him all the way back to his temple. He ran like a little girl, and honestly looked terrified. It was kind of awesome.
It was the first time in my life that I have ever actually attacked a person. Although in all fairness I wasn’t going to hurt him. The most ironic part is that the day before in our Compassion International group, I had taught our students about the difference between righteous and unrighteous anger. Bre and I agreed that my anger in this case was righteous!! I reasoned that if Elisha can send bears on a group of kids that call him “baldy”, I can chase a kid who tries to make me catch a cold in Quito.
What do you think? :)
Week Four: An Eye-Opening Tour of South Quito
What is the poorest area of the world that you’ve seen with your own eyes? A bad neighborhood in your city? Or in another state? Have you been in other country on vacation or a missions trip?
I live every day in the midst of extreme poverty. Every day I see people who literally have nothing. At the end of the day, they lie down in the streets with their children to sleep. Little children every day get on the busses to beg for money. In restaurants they come up to your table and beg you for your leftovers. There are people who are blind, mute, deaf, paralyzed, who can do nothing but sit on the side of the street and beg.
I see it every day. It breaks my heart. But even for having seen it every day, I never get used to it. A lot of times on the bus I have to try to hold back the tears. Today was a day like that. Jairo and I went with Bre and our friend Byron to the south of Quito, relatively close by where we live, to see some of the ministries of Isaiah 61, the non-profit organization of Byron and his wife Becky. We saw orphanages, poor schools, small churches, and a food bank.
Sometimes the evil in the world is almost paralyzing. I came home feeling like the problems in this world are so huge, and I’m so small. I will work my whole life to help people like these, orphans, widows, poor families, and I won’t even make a dent. How do you feel good about the five people you helped today when there are millions who are still dying?
In these moments, I have to cling to my God, who is bigger than all the poverty, all the illness, all the evil in all the world. I think the reason that we cry when we see these things, the reason we care, the reason we can’t sleep at night, is because God wants us in action. The Bible makes it clear that God wants His people lifting up these people and giving them new hope and new life. His heart aches for the lost, and ours should too.
It frustrates me that there are so many non-Christian organizations in the world feeding the hungry and giving medical care to the sick, while our churches do nothing. We should set the example in giving, in healing, in giving hope, in lifting up the downhearted, in liberating the world from evil and suffering. Why aren’t we doing anything?
God is going to demand an account for every person who died lost, without hope, while we were comfortable in our pews on Sunday morning. I want to see more Christians getting their hands dirty, like Jesus did. If you don’t know where to start, we need your help here in Ecuador. But please, just do something. We can’t fight this battle alone. Help us save the lost. It’s not just the job of “missionaries”. We’re all called to do it. It’s a commandment that comes straight from Jesus. You don’t have to look very far to see the need. Be a light in the darkness. Please. The world needs us. The world needs Jesus.
I live every day in the midst of extreme poverty. Every day I see people who literally have nothing. At the end of the day, they lie down in the streets with their children to sleep. Little children every day get on the busses to beg for money. In restaurants they come up to your table and beg you for your leftovers. There are people who are blind, mute, deaf, paralyzed, who can do nothing but sit on the side of the street and beg.
I see it every day. It breaks my heart. But even for having seen it every day, I never get used to it. A lot of times on the bus I have to try to hold back the tears. Today was a day like that. Jairo and I went with Bre and our friend Byron to the south of Quito, relatively close by where we live, to see some of the ministries of Isaiah 61, the non-profit organization of Byron and his wife Becky. We saw orphanages, poor schools, small churches, and a food bank.
Sometimes the evil in the world is almost paralyzing. I came home feeling like the problems in this world are so huge, and I’m so small. I will work my whole life to help people like these, orphans, widows, poor families, and I won’t even make a dent. How do you feel good about the five people you helped today when there are millions who are still dying?
In these moments, I have to cling to my God, who is bigger than all the poverty, all the illness, all the evil in all the world. I think the reason that we cry when we see these things, the reason we care, the reason we can’t sleep at night, is because God wants us in action. The Bible makes it clear that God wants His people lifting up these people and giving them new hope and new life. His heart aches for the lost, and ours should too.
It frustrates me that there are so many non-Christian organizations in the world feeding the hungry and giving medical care to the sick, while our churches do nothing. We should set the example in giving, in healing, in giving hope, in lifting up the downhearted, in liberating the world from evil and suffering. Why aren’t we doing anything?
God is going to demand an account for every person who died lost, without hope, while we were comfortable in our pews on Sunday morning. I want to see more Christians getting their hands dirty, like Jesus did. If you don’t know where to start, we need your help here in Ecuador. But please, just do something. We can’t fight this battle alone. Help us save the lost. It’s not just the job of “missionaries”. We’re all called to do it. It’s a commandment that comes straight from Jesus. You don’t have to look very far to see the need. Be a light in the darkness. Please. The world needs us. The world needs Jesus.
Week Four: More Fun in Immigration
I had the super-fun opportunity to go back once again to immigration, but this time it was for my friend Bre, who got here this week and will be staying with us for a while. She is here on a tourist visa, and had to go register it. It was definitely an adventure, as most things having to do with immigration in Ecuador are. We were all over town in buses, trolley and taxi, trying to get to each office before they closed. We were running from building to building at full speed, regardless of the high altitude and the near fainting. But victory was ours!
I don’t know if there’s anything as encouraging in this life as true friends. Everything you do with a true friend can be an adventure, and you almost always get back home exhausted, laughing and telling everyone else a million stories from the day that only the two of you really find funny. My favorite part about my friendship with Bre is that we have shared every kind of moment together, and there is nothing we wouldn’t do for each other.
The Bible says that a friend sticks closer than a brother. What do you think? According to this characteristic of a friend, do you have a lot of friends? Are your friends only good for laughing and hanging out, or are they there crying with you when you’re hurt? Are they at your side when there’s nothing in it for them? How many of those friends do you have? One? None?
My mom always told me that if you want good friends, you have to be a good friend. Are you good for more than hanging out? Would you give your friend whatever they needed? Would you be at your friend’s bedside when they’re sick? Would you be so sad to see your friend hurt that you would cry too? I think it’s true what my mom said. I think if you want to be loved, you have to love. You have to be vulnerable. You have to put yourself out there, even if you get hurt every time. You have to make the people you love the priority. You have to love freely.
Maybe as you’re reading this, you’re thinking about a friend of yours. Has life been busy lately? When was the last time you really talked with that person? When was the last time you gave up something in your life to be able to give to your friend? Remember that life is nothing without the people that make it worth living. Don’t let your life get in the way of your true friendships. If you have time to read my blog (thanks for reading, by the way) you have time to call your friend and set up a dinner date. You have time to call and apologize for that time you were an idiot, and start over. Why not do it now? Take some time and make sure those you love know how much you love them.
I don’t know if there’s anything as encouraging in this life as true friends. Everything you do with a true friend can be an adventure, and you almost always get back home exhausted, laughing and telling everyone else a million stories from the day that only the two of you really find funny. My favorite part about my friendship with Bre is that we have shared every kind of moment together, and there is nothing we wouldn’t do for each other.
The Bible says that a friend sticks closer than a brother. What do you think? According to this characteristic of a friend, do you have a lot of friends? Are your friends only good for laughing and hanging out, or are they there crying with you when you’re hurt? Are they at your side when there’s nothing in it for them? How many of those friends do you have? One? None?
My mom always told me that if you want good friends, you have to be a good friend. Are you good for more than hanging out? Would you give your friend whatever they needed? Would you be at your friend’s bedside when they’re sick? Would you be so sad to see your friend hurt that you would cry too? I think it’s true what my mom said. I think if you want to be loved, you have to love. You have to be vulnerable. You have to put yourself out there, even if you get hurt every time. You have to make the people you love the priority. You have to love freely.
Maybe as you’re reading this, you’re thinking about a friend of yours. Has life been busy lately? When was the last time you really talked with that person? When was the last time you gave up something in your life to be able to give to your friend? Remember that life is nothing without the people that make it worth living. Don’t let your life get in the way of your true friendships. If you have time to read my blog (thanks for reading, by the way) you have time to call your friend and set up a dinner date. You have time to call and apologize for that time you were an idiot, and start over. Why not do it now? Take some time and make sure those you love know how much you love them.
Week Four: Why God Created Marriage
My mom asked me if Jairo and I had had our first fight yet. I told her that not only had we had our first fight, we were expert fighters. But we’re also experts at making up.
We went through a few days of a rough patch, Jairo and I, and it seemed like every little thing was worth fighting over. It seemed like it would never end. It got me thinking about why I got married. Not in the sense that I regretted getting married, just literally thinking about the reasons. I think when people get married, they have pretty basic reasons for doing so. Things like, I want to be with this person forever, I love this person, etc. They’re not bad reasons. But they all kind of go out the window when the fairy tale gets paused and real life enters. Suddenly I don’t feel those warm fuzzies and I need something more to hold on to, to get through the storm.
I’m not sure how I would do it if I didn’t have God. I, as a Christian woman, know that when I said “I do” (although I actually said “Si lo prometo” but you get the idea) I was entering into something that I would never, ever be able to get out of. When I was walking down the aisle, when I said my vows, when I signed the papers, I knew that. This was the single biggest decision of my life. It is impossible for me to think about divorce in any situation, because I know what God’s position on divorce is, and His position is my position.
Sometimes I wonder if a 21 year old can really make that kind of huge decision, or if any person can, regardless of age. But I did, and many people do. Why? Why get stuck with the same person your whole life? Houses, cars, clothes...you can trade them in. But a husband? No way. Does God really expect us to make that kind of commitment?
Why not? He did! He created a universe full of human beings that would need a perfect savior. He created them knowing that one day He would lay down His own life and bear the sin, guilt and suffering of every person who ever lived, and who ever will live, all for love. Just because He loves us. Paul says that marriage is a reflection of the greatest mystery of all: God’s love for us.
There’s nothing warm and fuzzy about a crucifixion. It was literally one the single most horrific, violent, humiliating, and painful ways to die that has ever existed. I don’t know if you’ve seen the Passion of the Christ, but it was worse than that. Much worse. Jesus laid down his life willingly. He knew He was innocent. He knew they were murdering Him. But when He closed His eyes He could see your face. He could see what your life would be like if He didn’t die for you. He could see how much you would have to suffer in hell if He didn’t turn Himself over to die. And in history’s defining moment, He bore it all so you wouldn’t have to. Every illness you’ve ever suffered from, every tear you’ve cried, every horrible, ugly thing that you’ve passed through in your life, and not just you but every single human being who has existed, exists, and will exist, Jesus bore that. He bore the sin, guilt, suffering and punishment of billions upon billions of people to give you hope and a way out of receiving what you deserve.
Marriage is built on love. But love is not the warm and fuzzy feeling you get when you think about someone. It’s not kisses and hugs. It’s sacrifice. It’s choosing to suffer so the person you love doesn’t have to. It’s turning yourself over to the other person knowing full well that you are right, and bearing the burdens that don’t belong to you. When I think about what God did for me, it gives me strength to truly love my husband. God’s love for me will never end, and there is nothing that He would not or did not do for me. My most important job as a wife is to do the same for my husband.
This is what the Bible says about love: “Love is patient. Love is kind. It does not envy. It does not boast. It is not arrogant. It is not rude. It does not insist on its own way. It is not irritable. It keeps no record of wrongs. It does not rejoice with evil, but rejoices in the Truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-8
According to this definition, do you love your husband?
We went through a few days of a rough patch, Jairo and I, and it seemed like every little thing was worth fighting over. It seemed like it would never end. It got me thinking about why I got married. Not in the sense that I regretted getting married, just literally thinking about the reasons. I think when people get married, they have pretty basic reasons for doing so. Things like, I want to be with this person forever, I love this person, etc. They’re not bad reasons. But they all kind of go out the window when the fairy tale gets paused and real life enters. Suddenly I don’t feel those warm fuzzies and I need something more to hold on to, to get through the storm.
I’m not sure how I would do it if I didn’t have God. I, as a Christian woman, know that when I said “I do” (although I actually said “Si lo prometo” but you get the idea) I was entering into something that I would never, ever be able to get out of. When I was walking down the aisle, when I said my vows, when I signed the papers, I knew that. This was the single biggest decision of my life. It is impossible for me to think about divorce in any situation, because I know what God’s position on divorce is, and His position is my position.
Sometimes I wonder if a 21 year old can really make that kind of huge decision, or if any person can, regardless of age. But I did, and many people do. Why? Why get stuck with the same person your whole life? Houses, cars, clothes...you can trade them in. But a husband? No way. Does God really expect us to make that kind of commitment?
Why not? He did! He created a universe full of human beings that would need a perfect savior. He created them knowing that one day He would lay down His own life and bear the sin, guilt and suffering of every person who ever lived, and who ever will live, all for love. Just because He loves us. Paul says that marriage is a reflection of the greatest mystery of all: God’s love for us.
There’s nothing warm and fuzzy about a crucifixion. It was literally one the single most horrific, violent, humiliating, and painful ways to die that has ever existed. I don’t know if you’ve seen the Passion of the Christ, but it was worse than that. Much worse. Jesus laid down his life willingly. He knew He was innocent. He knew they were murdering Him. But when He closed His eyes He could see your face. He could see what your life would be like if He didn’t die for you. He could see how much you would have to suffer in hell if He didn’t turn Himself over to die. And in history’s defining moment, He bore it all so you wouldn’t have to. Every illness you’ve ever suffered from, every tear you’ve cried, every horrible, ugly thing that you’ve passed through in your life, and not just you but every single human being who has existed, exists, and will exist, Jesus bore that. He bore the sin, guilt, suffering and punishment of billions upon billions of people to give you hope and a way out of receiving what you deserve.
Marriage is built on love. But love is not the warm and fuzzy feeling you get when you think about someone. It’s not kisses and hugs. It’s sacrifice. It’s choosing to suffer so the person you love doesn’t have to. It’s turning yourself over to the other person knowing full well that you are right, and bearing the burdens that don’t belong to you. When I think about what God did for me, it gives me strength to truly love my husband. God’s love for me will never end, and there is nothing that He would not or did not do for me. My most important job as a wife is to do the same for my husband.
This is what the Bible says about love: “Love is patient. Love is kind. It does not envy. It does not boast. It is not arrogant. It is not rude. It does not insist on its own way. It is not irritable. It keeps no record of wrongs. It does not rejoice with evil, but rejoices in the Truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-8
According to this definition, do you love your husband?
Week 4: Back to Work
Well, the honeymoon’s over. Officially.
It’s pretty much exactly like I thought it would be. Really, really, unimaginably busy. But it’s also really fun. It’s great to finally be with my husband “in public” so to speak, and have everyone call me Jairo’s wife, and receive that kind of level of respect that people never give to a girlfriend. I’m not just some girl anymore. I’m his wife. So you better back off.
No, just kidding. Sort of. Haha.
Jairo works in the daytime and we’re in the church almost every night of the week. It’s challenging. But it’s also rewarding. I think about the normal jobs people have; you know, waitress, lawyer, doctor, accountant, teacher, etc. I can’t imagine that there could be any job as fulfilling as working for God. Sure, a lot of people after a good day at work come home and feel good about the work they did, and that’s good, but what other job has eternal value? What other people, besides those who work for God, can say that not only will their work continue on after they’re gone, but also that it will continue into eternity?
And, thinking of the same kinds of jobs, I ask myself, what’s the point of a doctor healing a body if the soul goes to hell? What’s the point of educating a mind if, when all is said and done, that mind never gets to understand the fullness and beauty of God’s love? I’m not saying those jobs are bad or pointless, not at all, but what could be more important than sharing the gospel and helping people stay on the right path so that after this life is over, they can live in eternal happiness and communion with God?
I see life here in some of the worst conditions imaginable. Everywhere I turn there is extreme poverty, suffering, violence, illness, struggle, and hopelessness. All the doctors, teachers, accountants and lawyers in the world can’t do anything to give meaning to this kind of life. There has to be more to life than this. Thank God there is so much more. What job could be more important, more rewarding, more lasting than bringing hope to the hopeless, loving the unlovable, and giving the gift of new, never-ending life? This is what Jesus did on earth, and I’m honored to be able to follow in his footsteps.
It’s pretty much exactly like I thought it would be. Really, really, unimaginably busy. But it’s also really fun. It’s great to finally be with my husband “in public” so to speak, and have everyone call me Jairo’s wife, and receive that kind of level of respect that people never give to a girlfriend. I’m not just some girl anymore. I’m his wife. So you better back off.
No, just kidding. Sort of. Haha.
Jairo works in the daytime and we’re in the church almost every night of the week. It’s challenging. But it’s also rewarding. I think about the normal jobs people have; you know, waitress, lawyer, doctor, accountant, teacher, etc. I can’t imagine that there could be any job as fulfilling as working for God. Sure, a lot of people after a good day at work come home and feel good about the work they did, and that’s good, but what other job has eternal value? What other people, besides those who work for God, can say that not only will their work continue on after they’re gone, but also that it will continue into eternity?
And, thinking of the same kinds of jobs, I ask myself, what’s the point of a doctor healing a body if the soul goes to hell? What’s the point of educating a mind if, when all is said and done, that mind never gets to understand the fullness and beauty of God’s love? I’m not saying those jobs are bad or pointless, not at all, but what could be more important than sharing the gospel and helping people stay on the right path so that after this life is over, they can live in eternal happiness and communion with God?
I see life here in some of the worst conditions imaginable. Everywhere I turn there is extreme poverty, suffering, violence, illness, struggle, and hopelessness. All the doctors, teachers, accountants and lawyers in the world can’t do anything to give meaning to this kind of life. There has to be more to life than this. Thank God there is so much more. What job could be more important, more rewarding, more lasting than bringing hope to the hopeless, loving the unlovable, and giving the gift of new, never-ending life? This is what Jesus did on earth, and I’m honored to be able to follow in his footsteps.
Week 3: Remembering Our Wedding
Week Three: Remembering Our Wedding
I’ve been a little sad lately because I don’t have any of my wedding pictures. Well, I have a few, but my parents have like literally 600 in the States. The problem is, how do they get them to us?
A couple of people have told me that they saw pictures and I was beautiful, blah, blah, blah...I want to see them too!! I’m the bride after all, and that was my day of glory! I want to be able to remember every minute of it!
Well, I feel a little better now than I did, because two of our friends who were at the wedding just gave us copies of their pictures. Jairo and I had a lot of fun flipping through them, remembering certain moments we had forgotten, and feeling the same feelings we felt in those moments. Life is already so normal feeling now, with the two of us together, used to each other. I think that’s a good thing, but every once in a while it’s also good to remember the magic that brought you together.
Sometimes I think about what I will remember in twenty or thirty years. Like, what will I tell my kids about this time in my life? I usually laugh when I think about it, because I imagine I will say something about how I was a crazy, impulsive kid who fell absolutely head over heels in love, and one day decided to fly down to Ecuador and marry the love of my life, without thinking twice about anything rational. But I wouldn’t want it any other way. I never wanted a normal life, a normal house, a normal anything. I wanted adventure, I wanted extraordinary, I wanted a fairy tale. I didn’t just want to say, oh we met at work, dated for a year, he took me in a hot air balloon and proposed and we were married that summer. I wanted something special.
Maybe there’s more to an adventure than what meets the eye. It sounds exciting and fun, and a lot of times it is, but it has also cost me a lot. It has been hard sometimes. I’m far away from my family and friends, thrust into a different culture and language (granted, I thrust myself, but still!), sometimes lonely and grumpy, and sometimes feel a little lost. But what good adventure doesn’t include problems, danger, battles and the like? If you took all of the bad stuff out of the lives of the characters of Lord of the Rings or Indiana Jones, what would be left? What kind of adventure would that be?
My wedding was only the beginning of the adventure I’m living. I think someday, my life will be a lot of fun to tell my grandkids about. I just hope I don’t have any kids that turn out like me!!
I’ve been a little sad lately because I don’t have any of my wedding pictures. Well, I have a few, but my parents have like literally 600 in the States. The problem is, how do they get them to us?
A couple of people have told me that they saw pictures and I was beautiful, blah, blah, blah...I want to see them too!! I’m the bride after all, and that was my day of glory! I want to be able to remember every minute of it!
Well, I feel a little better now than I did, because two of our friends who were at the wedding just gave us copies of their pictures. Jairo and I had a lot of fun flipping through them, remembering certain moments we had forgotten, and feeling the same feelings we felt in those moments. Life is already so normal feeling now, with the two of us together, used to each other. I think that’s a good thing, but every once in a while it’s also good to remember the magic that brought you together.
Sometimes I think about what I will remember in twenty or thirty years. Like, what will I tell my kids about this time in my life? I usually laugh when I think about it, because I imagine I will say something about how I was a crazy, impulsive kid who fell absolutely head over heels in love, and one day decided to fly down to Ecuador and marry the love of my life, without thinking twice about anything rational. But I wouldn’t want it any other way. I never wanted a normal life, a normal house, a normal anything. I wanted adventure, I wanted extraordinary, I wanted a fairy tale. I didn’t just want to say, oh we met at work, dated for a year, he took me in a hot air balloon and proposed and we were married that summer. I wanted something special.
Maybe there’s more to an adventure than what meets the eye. It sounds exciting and fun, and a lot of times it is, but it has also cost me a lot. It has been hard sometimes. I’m far away from my family and friends, thrust into a different culture and language (granted, I thrust myself, but still!), sometimes lonely and grumpy, and sometimes feel a little lost. But what good adventure doesn’t include problems, danger, battles and the like? If you took all of the bad stuff out of the lives of the characters of Lord of the Rings or Indiana Jones, what would be left? What kind of adventure would that be?
My wedding was only the beginning of the adventure I’m living. I think someday, my life will be a lot of fun to tell my grandkids about. I just hope I don’t have any kids that turn out like me!!
Week 3: Finding Balance
As I said in my last entry, this week is our last week of our honeymoon time. So, to round out our week, we decided to go to Puyo and stay for a few days with the in-laws. While we were there, Jairo’s niece (I guess she’s my niece too now!) turned 9. We bought her an ice cream cake and had a family birthday party. We ate dinner and cake together, played cards and laughed a lot. It was a great end to a great three weeks.
It made me think about what is important to me. What are my priorities? I think sometimes we forget, in the middle of doing all that life requires, what it is that we really care about. I can tell that something is important to me when I feel at ease when I’m doing it. For example, spending time with my husband, my family (and his), reading my Bible, praying...these are things that make me feel at ease, that restore balance to my life, and help keep my life peaceful. I’ve found that when these things don’t happen, I get too busy to spend quality time with Jairo, I can’t go see his family in Puyo or my friends in Ibarra, my parents forget to call on Sunday night, I don’t have time or am too tired to spend time with God, I start to flip out a little bit. I lose my equilibrium.
So I have to ask myself, what is the point of living life if we aren’t going to do what really matters? For example, so many people spend so much time working to afford their lifestyle, that it seems they blink and their kids are already in college, and they wonder where the time went. I always tell Jairo, I got married so I could be with my husband. It seems so obvious, but when life’s pace starts picking up, it’s easy to look back and realize you missed a whole section of your life. I don’t want that to happen to me.
I’m going into one of those super-busy, lose-your-equilibrium times of my life as this time off comes to a close and reality starts to sink in. My goal is to be able to focus on those things that are most important to me, even in the craziest of moments. God, my husband, and our families and friends are the ones that make everything else worth while.
It made me think about what is important to me. What are my priorities? I think sometimes we forget, in the middle of doing all that life requires, what it is that we really care about. I can tell that something is important to me when I feel at ease when I’m doing it. For example, spending time with my husband, my family (and his), reading my Bible, praying...these are things that make me feel at ease, that restore balance to my life, and help keep my life peaceful. I’ve found that when these things don’t happen, I get too busy to spend quality time with Jairo, I can’t go see his family in Puyo or my friends in Ibarra, my parents forget to call on Sunday night, I don’t have time or am too tired to spend time with God, I start to flip out a little bit. I lose my equilibrium.
So I have to ask myself, what is the point of living life if we aren’t going to do what really matters? For example, so many people spend so much time working to afford their lifestyle, that it seems they blink and their kids are already in college, and they wonder where the time went. I always tell Jairo, I got married so I could be with my husband. It seems so obvious, but when life’s pace starts picking up, it’s easy to look back and realize you missed a whole section of your life. I don’t want that to happen to me.
I’m going into one of those super-busy, lose-your-equilibrium times of my life as this time off comes to a close and reality starts to sink in. My goal is to be able to focus on those things that are most important to me, even in the craziest of moments. God, my husband, and our families and friends are the ones that make everything else worth while.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Week Three: Not Quite Ready
So, it’s week three. It’s week three, and my honeymoon is coming to a close, after a late start. Jairo will be working, I will be at home working on ministry stuff, and when we’re not doing that, we’ll both be spending a lot of time in the church. But I’ll tell you a secret. I’m not ready!
I know, I know. Three weeks! It’s a long time! I should be rested, rejuvenated, a little bored, and ready to get back to work! After all, it’s ministry, it’s what I came here to do, it’s my calling. But I’m not ready.
The truth is, I love people, but I’m not very outgoing. I like my space. I like having my time to blog, to read my Bible, to watch Alias, and I like having access to my husband whenever I want. It’s selfish, I know. My, my, my, I, I, I.
My husband, on the other hand, is ready. He got the rest he needed, now he restless. He wants back in. It’s not that I don’t want to. I do want to. I just know that once it starts, it won’t slow down until I’m like 80 years old. There’s so much work to do. I have so many dreams, goals, and plans.
I think, honestly, I’m kind of nervous. I just really want everything to work out; I want to be able to make a difference. I’m hesitant to start mostly because I don’t want to mess up. But I guess it’s true what I tell Spanish students; you can’t let your fear of messing up keep you from trying. If you never try to say something in Spanish, you won’t learn to speak. Life’s like that, too. If you don’t try things, you won’t really ever live your life.
So I’ll make a deal with you. But only if you really mean it.
Let’s do that thing we’ve wanted to do, but have been afraid to try. Let’s do it together. I’m gonna tell you how it’s going for me (I mean, that’s kind of why I have a blog), and I’d like you to tell me too. Comment me here on my blog, facebook me, myspace me, email me, whatever. I want to know how it’s going. Tell me what your “thing” is, and what you’re doing to achieve it. I’m pretty sure I’m not the only on this planet who has dreams that seem impossible and scary. If you have those dreams too, tell me about them! I want to know. Seriously.
Let the comments, messages and emails begin!!
I know, I know. Three weeks! It’s a long time! I should be rested, rejuvenated, a little bored, and ready to get back to work! After all, it’s ministry, it’s what I came here to do, it’s my calling. But I’m not ready.
The truth is, I love people, but I’m not very outgoing. I like my space. I like having my time to blog, to read my Bible, to watch Alias, and I like having access to my husband whenever I want. It’s selfish, I know. My, my, my, I, I, I.
My husband, on the other hand, is ready. He got the rest he needed, now he restless. He wants back in. It’s not that I don’t want to. I do want to. I just know that once it starts, it won’t slow down until I’m like 80 years old. There’s so much work to do. I have so many dreams, goals, and plans.
I think, honestly, I’m kind of nervous. I just really want everything to work out; I want to be able to make a difference. I’m hesitant to start mostly because I don’t want to mess up. But I guess it’s true what I tell Spanish students; you can’t let your fear of messing up keep you from trying. If you never try to say something in Spanish, you won’t learn to speak. Life’s like that, too. If you don’t try things, you won’t really ever live your life.
So I’ll make a deal with you. But only if you really mean it.
Let’s do that thing we’ve wanted to do, but have been afraid to try. Let’s do it together. I’m gonna tell you how it’s going for me (I mean, that’s kind of why I have a blog), and I’d like you to tell me too. Comment me here on my blog, facebook me, myspace me, email me, whatever. I want to know how it’s going. Tell me what your “thing” is, and what you’re doing to achieve it. I’m pretty sure I’m not the only on this planet who has dreams that seem impossible and scary. If you have those dreams too, tell me about them! I want to know. Seriously.
Let the comments, messages and emails begin!!
Week Two: One More Suitcase
I am almost unpacked. It is the end of week two, and I am almost unpacked. I just have one more suitcase to go. If Jairo and I were competing to see who is most unpacked, I would win, hands down. I’m feeling pretty good about it.
The only problem is that this last suitcase is full of all the things I didn’t know what to do with. So, even though I only have one more suitcase to go, I’m thinking it could be like a year until I get this last one unpacked. Which means Jairo might beat me after all.
Jairo commented to me the other day that changing houses is really not fun. He’s right. I mean, looking for a new place if exciting and fun, and even paying the security deposit and knowing it’s yours is exciting. But actually moving, not fun. And I didn’t move across town, either. I moved across continents.
It will be weird, I think, to be finally unpacked. Even when I lived in Maine, I always had one little unpacked suitcase. Same when I went back to Illinois for a few months. I think it was my reminder that I wasn’t at home. But now I am at home. My home. I don’t have any more reason to stash away an unpacked suitcase. I don’t have anywhere else to go.
I hopped a plane and flew really far away from “home,” aka the place I grew up, to make a new home. It’s a weird feeling to have gone so far for so long never letting myself really settle down anywhere, and now I’m here, on my bed, in my house, settled. And yet, I don’t feel boxed in. I don’t feel trapped. I feel content. I’m happy to have a home, and even happier that I get to share it with my best friend and husband, Jairo. And our dog.
The only problem is that this last suitcase is full of all the things I didn’t know what to do with. So, even though I only have one more suitcase to go, I’m thinking it could be like a year until I get this last one unpacked. Which means Jairo might beat me after all.
Jairo commented to me the other day that changing houses is really not fun. He’s right. I mean, looking for a new place if exciting and fun, and even paying the security deposit and knowing it’s yours is exciting. But actually moving, not fun. And I didn’t move across town, either. I moved across continents.
It will be weird, I think, to be finally unpacked. Even when I lived in Maine, I always had one little unpacked suitcase. Same when I went back to Illinois for a few months. I think it was my reminder that I wasn’t at home. But now I am at home. My home. I don’t have any more reason to stash away an unpacked suitcase. I don’t have anywhere else to go.
I hopped a plane and flew really far away from “home,” aka the place I grew up, to make a new home. It’s a weird feeling to have gone so far for so long never letting myself really settle down anywhere, and now I’m here, on my bed, in my house, settled. And yet, I don’t feel boxed in. I don’t feel trapped. I feel content. I’m happy to have a home, and even happier that I get to share it with my best friend and husband, Jairo. And our dog.
Week Two: A Baby in the House
Just in case you were worried about the title, no, I’m not pregnant. But I do have a puppy! Her name is Sydney, named after Jennifer Garner’s character on Alias...I have all of the seasons on dvd and Jairo and I are hooked. Turns out they have it dubbed in Spanish! Anyway...She’s about 6 weeks old, brown, very cute. I have no idea what breed she is, but I’m guessing full-blooded mutt.
The thing about Sydney is she’s like a human. It’s weird. She’s moody, nervous, and super attached to me and Jairo, after only a few days. She gets mad at us if we don’t pay attention to her constantly, and she will not go to sleep if she’s not touching one of us. On the plus side, in just about 4 days that we’ve had her, we’ve gotten her almost completely house-trained! She’s very smart.
It’s been interesting to see the way Jairo interacts with her. He’s very loving and tender with her, but also gets extremely annoyed with her if she goes to the bathroom in the house. It’s been interesting to watch.
I think she’s a fully-integrated part of our new family, and her antics always help to lighten the mood. But she is also an enormous test of patience and a huge confirmation that we are not ready for kids! Although the good thing about kids is that they don’t wake you up at 5am to go outside by biting your face!!
Pets are interesting because they can bring out the best or worst in you, depending on what they’re doing. They can bring out loving emotions and actions, or they can provoke you to lose your temper in an instant with some naughty thing they’ve done. Your true self is revealed much more quickly in front of a pet than in front of a friend or love interest who you generally try to impress with the best side of you. But pets also accept you like you are, whether you yell at them or hug them.
If more people took on that kind of attitude about their spouses, I think there would be a lot less divorce. What I mean is, no matter what I do to my dog, as long as I’m not just downright evil to her, she’s going to love me, and she won’t run away. As a married person it’s important to remember that your spouse is a person, and sometimes they will bore you, drive you crazy, make you angry, make choices you disagree with, etc. But when you get married, you make a promise to never give up on that person, until death. A lot of people go into marriage with the idea that divorce is a last resort. For me, it’s not even an option. There is no room for divorce when I made a promise to stick it out until death. We have to accept that a spouse is an imperfect person, just like we are, and will not always meet our needs. What a blessing that we have a perfect God who can do just that!!
The thing about Sydney is she’s like a human. It’s weird. She’s moody, nervous, and super attached to me and Jairo, after only a few days. She gets mad at us if we don’t pay attention to her constantly, and she will not go to sleep if she’s not touching one of us. On the plus side, in just about 4 days that we’ve had her, we’ve gotten her almost completely house-trained! She’s very smart.
It’s been interesting to see the way Jairo interacts with her. He’s very loving and tender with her, but also gets extremely annoyed with her if she goes to the bathroom in the house. It’s been interesting to watch.
I think she’s a fully-integrated part of our new family, and her antics always help to lighten the mood. But she is also an enormous test of patience and a huge confirmation that we are not ready for kids! Although the good thing about kids is that they don’t wake you up at 5am to go outside by biting your face!!
Pets are interesting because they can bring out the best or worst in you, depending on what they’re doing. They can bring out loving emotions and actions, or they can provoke you to lose your temper in an instant with some naughty thing they’ve done. Your true self is revealed much more quickly in front of a pet than in front of a friend or love interest who you generally try to impress with the best side of you. But pets also accept you like you are, whether you yell at them or hug them.
If more people took on that kind of attitude about their spouses, I think there would be a lot less divorce. What I mean is, no matter what I do to my dog, as long as I’m not just downright evil to her, she’s going to love me, and she won’t run away. As a married person it’s important to remember that your spouse is a person, and sometimes they will bore you, drive you crazy, make you angry, make choices you disagree with, etc. But when you get married, you make a promise to never give up on that person, until death. A lot of people go into marriage with the idea that divorce is a last resort. For me, it’s not even an option. There is no room for divorce when I made a promise to stick it out until death. We have to accept that a spouse is an imperfect person, just like we are, and will not always meet our needs. What a blessing that we have a perfect God who can do just that!!
Week Two: Adventures in Baking
So, you know how when you were little your mom always had dinner ready for you around the same time of day, and it was generally a pretty balanced meal, and, more often than not, it was pretty good? I mean, the chicken wasn’t raw in parts, the green beans weren’t burnt, the food didn’t get cold before you ate it? Well, guess what. It’s harder than it looks. And even harder at a ridiculously high altitude.
I’ve always liked cooking, but since I’ve been on my own I was never one for scheduled meals, and I never had enough money for balanced ones, I didn’t mind eating plain white rice at 2am if that’s what was in the house and that was when I got hungry. But do you who that doesn’t work with? A husband.
I’ve figured out that making a meal here in Quito takes on average about 90 minutes. I’ve learned that there are like 50 kinds of rice (which is served with every single Ecuadorian meal), and the best one for high altitudes is pescadito. I’ve learned that baked fish sometimes just looks done, but you have to triple check the center before you turn off the oven. I officially really want a blender and a pressure cooker, because I want to make pasta sauces, and I don’t want to have to cook lentils the night before. I also need mixing bowls and a few more pots and pans. But, overall, I think I’m adjusting pretty well to this whole domestic thing.
I made banana bread, which, aside from the fact that I burnt the bottom a little, was actually pretty stinkin’ good, if I do say so myself. I also made oatmeal cookies, my trademark, which turned out great except for when I forgot that I had one more batch in the oven and left them there for like 45 minutes. Jairo said they looked more like Oreos. I’m thinking seriously about making some coffee cake tonight. Here’s to not burning the bottom! Wish me luck!
I’ve always liked cooking, but since I’ve been on my own I was never one for scheduled meals, and I never had enough money for balanced ones, I didn’t mind eating plain white rice at 2am if that’s what was in the house and that was when I got hungry. But do you who that doesn’t work with? A husband.
I’ve figured out that making a meal here in Quito takes on average about 90 minutes. I’ve learned that there are like 50 kinds of rice (which is served with every single Ecuadorian meal), and the best one for high altitudes is pescadito. I’ve learned that baked fish sometimes just looks done, but you have to triple check the center before you turn off the oven. I officially really want a blender and a pressure cooker, because I want to make pasta sauces, and I don’t want to have to cook lentils the night before. I also need mixing bowls and a few more pots and pans. But, overall, I think I’m adjusting pretty well to this whole domestic thing.
I made banana bread, which, aside from the fact that I burnt the bottom a little, was actually pretty stinkin’ good, if I do say so myself. I also made oatmeal cookies, my trademark, which turned out great except for when I forgot that I had one more batch in the oven and left them there for like 45 minutes. Jairo said they looked more like Oreos. I’m thinking seriously about making some coffee cake tonight. Here’s to not burning the bottom! Wish me luck!
Week Two: Sick Husband, Dirty House
The day my in-laws came to visit and stay the night, Jairo came down with the flu. By the next morning when they left, he couldn’t even get out of bed. So, I took his parents to get a taxi to the bus terminal and then went to the pharmacy for medicine and Gatorade. Then I spent the next few days taking care of him, and the housework. Which was not always that fun. It was the sickest I’ve seen him, and I felt kind of helpless, knowing I couldn’t really do much besides giving him his medicine, making sure he drank plenty of liquids, and praying for him.
It’s a weird feeling starting to take care of someone, someone who depends on just you, when you’ve spent your life being taken care of. What’s weirder is that when you marry someone from a different culture, what you know about taking care of someone may be completely “wrong”. For example, when I’m sick with a sore throat I want something cold. Ever since I was little it was popsicles and 7up for a sore throat. Here, eating something cold when sick with a sore throat is the worst possible thing to do. When I’m sick with a stomach ache, I drink sprite or ginger ale. Here when you have a stomach ache you definitely do not ever drink soda. So what do you do when those little tricks you’ve learned your whole life don’t work on someone you’re taking care of?
Jairo and I have our way of dealing with this which is pretty obvious yet harder than it sounds. We just tell each other what we need. For example, Jairo told me that he really needed flax seed tea. Weirdo. I, on the other hand, have often been sick with stomach aches here in Ecuador and I always ask for sprite. It’s harder than it sounds, first of all to ask for something when you know the other person thinks you’re crazy, and even harder to give the person what they need without slamming their upbringing and making it obvious you think that they’re crazy.
I think it comes down to a matter of respect and swallowing your pride. The respect you have for your spouse means that you recognize that it’s very possible that their way of doing things works for them, and you do what you can to provide whatever it is that they need. The swallowing your pride comes in by realizing that your way isn’t the only way, and another way could even be superior to yours.
A large part of marriage, I think, is learning as much as you can about the person you’re married to, and realizing that you will always have more to learn. Marriage is about making your spouse feel accepted and safe with you, and you can’t do that by lying to them. You have to be open and honest, while preserving respect for that person. For us, it looks something like this: “Oh really? That’s funny; where I’m from we do the opposite! Does what you said really work? Wow!”
You can be honest about the things that weird you out without having to hurt the other person, and the benefit is that for next time, they know that you’re different in that area and are more likely to understand you, too, and to trust you enough to tell you more about themselves. Even though you’re married to that person, you don’t have a free pass to make them feel inferior, or to be yourself to such a point that you never improve your flaws and become a better person. I think a characteristic of a good marriage is that the husband and wife are always helping each other grow and excel, and there is always forward motion. And I think it’s never too late to start doing that.
It’s a weird feeling starting to take care of someone, someone who depends on just you, when you’ve spent your life being taken care of. What’s weirder is that when you marry someone from a different culture, what you know about taking care of someone may be completely “wrong”. For example, when I’m sick with a sore throat I want something cold. Ever since I was little it was popsicles and 7up for a sore throat. Here, eating something cold when sick with a sore throat is the worst possible thing to do. When I’m sick with a stomach ache, I drink sprite or ginger ale. Here when you have a stomach ache you definitely do not ever drink soda. So what do you do when those little tricks you’ve learned your whole life don’t work on someone you’re taking care of?
Jairo and I have our way of dealing with this which is pretty obvious yet harder than it sounds. We just tell each other what we need. For example, Jairo told me that he really needed flax seed tea. Weirdo. I, on the other hand, have often been sick with stomach aches here in Ecuador and I always ask for sprite. It’s harder than it sounds, first of all to ask for something when you know the other person thinks you’re crazy, and even harder to give the person what they need without slamming their upbringing and making it obvious you think that they’re crazy.
I think it comes down to a matter of respect and swallowing your pride. The respect you have for your spouse means that you recognize that it’s very possible that their way of doing things works for them, and you do what you can to provide whatever it is that they need. The swallowing your pride comes in by realizing that your way isn’t the only way, and another way could even be superior to yours.
A large part of marriage, I think, is learning as much as you can about the person you’re married to, and realizing that you will always have more to learn. Marriage is about making your spouse feel accepted and safe with you, and you can’t do that by lying to them. You have to be open and honest, while preserving respect for that person. For us, it looks something like this: “Oh really? That’s funny; where I’m from we do the opposite! Does what you said really work? Wow!”
You can be honest about the things that weird you out without having to hurt the other person, and the benefit is that for next time, they know that you’re different in that area and are more likely to understand you, too, and to trust you enough to tell you more about themselves. Even though you’re married to that person, you don’t have a free pass to make them feel inferior, or to be yourself to such a point that you never improve your flaws and become a better person. I think a characteristic of a good marriage is that the husband and wife are always helping each other grow and excel, and there is always forward motion. And I think it’s never too late to start doing that.
Week Two: Alone Together
It’s funny. You wait your whole dating relationship to finally be alone together, right? But it wasn’t actually that exciting for me when all the guests left and we returned home, just the two of us for the first time. It was nerve-wracking! I found myself worrying about what we would do, if we would get bored or sick of each other, wondering what to talk to him about. On the outside I was fine, but inside I was freaking out!
We had taken Bre and Jonathan to the bus terminal and when we got home, the apartment was so quiet! We were finally in our house, by ourselves, we could do whatever we wanted, and that terrified me. There were no rules, no one telling us what to do, just us.
Last night I asked Jairo if he was nervous too, and he gave a resounding “yes!”. He said that for him it was weird, and he didn’t really know how to behave. Now we’re well into our second week and the nervousness and uneasiness have worn off. We’re emotionally settled in, although not physically unpacked, and it feels like home. And since we’re technically on our honeymoon still, even though we’re at home, we’ve been together the whole time since we got here, which has solidified it being “our place”. It’s gone from being nerve-wracking to being reassuring to arrive at home after a day spent around Quito. It’s good to be home.
We had taken Bre and Jonathan to the bus terminal and when we got home, the apartment was so quiet! We were finally in our house, by ourselves, we could do whatever we wanted, and that terrified me. There were no rules, no one telling us what to do, just us.
Last night I asked Jairo if he was nervous too, and he gave a resounding “yes!”. He said that for him it was weird, and he didn’t really know how to behave. Now we’re well into our second week and the nervousness and uneasiness have worn off. We’re emotionally settled in, although not physically unpacked, and it feels like home. And since we’re technically on our honeymoon still, even though we’re at home, we’ve been together the whole time since we got here, which has solidified it being “our place”. It’s gone from being nerve-wracking to being reassuring to arrive at home after a day spent around Quito. It’s good to be home.
Week Two: Post-Wedding Blues
I saw a wedding dress at the mall and it made me really sad. It made me think, what happens when the day you dreamt about your whole life has passed. What do you dream about now, as a woman?
I’m happy with the way my wedding turned out. I’m happy to be married. I like having my own place with my own husband. I like cooking, I don’t mind cleaning...I mean, I don’t have any reason to be sad. The wedding was a success, and we’re going to make sure the marriage is too. But there’s something magical about the day you get married, and there’s so much anticipation that when it’s over, you kind of miss it. I mean, at least I do. It’s like, my wedding was a constant friend since I was a very little girl, always there when I wanted something to dream about. And now? I mean, I can set goals for myself, things I want to achieve or do someday, but what will ever be as big, as magical, as meaningful as my wedding?
Now, don’t get me wrong. The marriage is way more important than the wedding, I know that. But, I imagine that the majority of those of you who are reading this are women, so I think you get my point. What else does a woman have to look forward to after that big day?
My first thought was having children. You know, if you want them, and I do. But then I thought, you know, I know it’s totally worth it and everything but it’s nothing like a wedding. My wedding wasn’t the worst pain I ever felt, it didn’t give me stretch marks, it didn’t end up in me losing all of my money for at least 18 years...you get my point. When will I ever be as beautiful as I was on my wedding? When will I ever get that kind of attention again?
And I guess that’s where the Holy Spirit starts bugging me about my priorities. Read what Peter says about a woman’s beauty in 1 Peter 3: “Do not let your adorning (or beauty) be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear—but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.”
I got ready for my wedding months before, eating right, doing my whole beauty regimen, etc. But now it’s time to shift my focus. Sure, I can still be beautiful. I can wear makeup and eat right. I mean I do have a husband to think about. But the point Peter is making here is that outward beauty will fade. It can’t be a woman’s only beauty. Now that my wedding is over I have to strive to be a beautiful wife. The Bible talks a lot about what makes a woman truly beautiful, and part of that is wisdom. If you want enough to keep you busy for years, try getting started with Proverbs 31. We can do it together.
Proverbs 31:
An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels.
- The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain.
- She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.
- She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands.
- She is like the ships of the merchant; she brings her food from afar.
- She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and portions for her maidens.
- She considers a field and buys it; with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.
- She dresses herself with strength and makes her arms strong.
- She perceives that her merchandise is profitable. Her lamp does not go out at night.
- She puts her hands to the distaff, and her hands hold the spindle.
- She opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy.
- She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household are clothed in scarlet.
- She makes bed coverings for herself; her clothing is fine linen and purple.
- Her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land.
- She makes linen garments and sells them; she delivers sashes to the merchant.
- Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come.
- She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
- She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.
- Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: "Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all."
Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates.
I’m happy with the way my wedding turned out. I’m happy to be married. I like having my own place with my own husband. I like cooking, I don’t mind cleaning...I mean, I don’t have any reason to be sad. The wedding was a success, and we’re going to make sure the marriage is too. But there’s something magical about the day you get married, and there’s so much anticipation that when it’s over, you kind of miss it. I mean, at least I do. It’s like, my wedding was a constant friend since I was a very little girl, always there when I wanted something to dream about. And now? I mean, I can set goals for myself, things I want to achieve or do someday, but what will ever be as big, as magical, as meaningful as my wedding?
Now, don’t get me wrong. The marriage is way more important than the wedding, I know that. But, I imagine that the majority of those of you who are reading this are women, so I think you get my point. What else does a woman have to look forward to after that big day?
My first thought was having children. You know, if you want them, and I do. But then I thought, you know, I know it’s totally worth it and everything but it’s nothing like a wedding. My wedding wasn’t the worst pain I ever felt, it didn’t give me stretch marks, it didn’t end up in me losing all of my money for at least 18 years...you get my point. When will I ever be as beautiful as I was on my wedding? When will I ever get that kind of attention again?
And I guess that’s where the Holy Spirit starts bugging me about my priorities. Read what Peter says about a woman’s beauty in 1 Peter 3: “Do not let your adorning (or beauty) be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear—but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.”
I got ready for my wedding months before, eating right, doing my whole beauty regimen, etc. But now it’s time to shift my focus. Sure, I can still be beautiful. I can wear makeup and eat right. I mean I do have a husband to think about. But the point Peter is making here is that outward beauty will fade. It can’t be a woman’s only beauty. Now that my wedding is over I have to strive to be a beautiful wife. The Bible talks a lot about what makes a woman truly beautiful, and part of that is wisdom. If you want enough to keep you busy for years, try getting started with Proverbs 31. We can do it together.
Proverbs 31:
An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels.
- The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain.
- She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.
- She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands.
- She is like the ships of the merchant; she brings her food from afar.
- She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and portions for her maidens.
- She considers a field and buys it; with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.
- She dresses herself with strength and makes her arms strong.
- She perceives that her merchandise is profitable. Her lamp does not go out at night.
- She puts her hands to the distaff, and her hands hold the spindle.
- She opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy.
- She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household are clothed in scarlet.
- She makes bed coverings for herself; her clothing is fine linen and purple.
- Her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land.
- She makes linen garments and sells them; she delivers sashes to the merchant.
- Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come.
- She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
- She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.
- Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: "Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all."
Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates.
Week One: An Unexpected Visitor
I want to talk a little bit about culture. I feel the need to vent.
I’ve told you about the many guests we had in our house in week one. But I left one out. A very unexpected one. We were finally alone in the house for the first time. It was nighttime, not terribly late, maybe like 7:30 or 8:00. We had already finished dinner and cleaned up the house. So, naturally, as one might assume a newlywed couple might do on their first night alone together, we decided to spend the rest of the evening together, alone, and hopefully somewhat romantically. I decided to put on something appropriate for the occasion, and Jairo hung up a blanket where a curtain should go in our room because we don’t have curtains yet, and didn’t really feel like sharing our evening with the neighborhood.
Everything was going well until we hear a knock at the door. Was that our door? We listened again. Yes, it was definitely our door. Ok. Panic. What were we going to do? I didn’t have any extra clothes, a robe, nothing. We just stared at each other blankly, hoping that whoever it was would just go away. All of the sudden someone knocked on our bedroom window. We both looked at each other with a face that said, “Are you kidding me?” The knocking continued. Obviously they weren’t going to buy that we weren’t home.
Jairo told me to just stay put; it was probably just our friend who lives next door. He left, and I locked the door and listened as he went to see who it was. Soon enough I heard him inviting in the pastor of our church. Yeah. Our pastor! Who, by the way, knows that we are on our “honey moon”.
Jairo showed him to the table and then brought me some clothes to change into. I changed as quickly as possible, trying my best to look presentable. In Ecuador when someone comes over you always serve them something; coffee, tea, whatever you have. So I greeted the pastor and instantly went to work in the kitchen to make tea, which I served with bread and cheese, a fairly typical evening food to serve here.
It turns out there was no real reason for the visit, he was just “in the neighborhood” and wanted to stop by. On my honeymoon. He stayed for over an hour making small talk, and then went home. I was completely dumbfounded. Jairo, although annoyed, had a precedent for this sort of thing, because he’s Ecuadorian, and apparently dropping in unannounced is fairly common practice here.
So I weighed both sides in my head. My American upbringing teaches me that, although an amusing story to tell later, this was completely inappropriate, intrusive behavior. However, my Ecuadorian surroundings tell me that a good person is a person who always opens their home to anyone, anytime. And the more I think about it, the more I think that both sides have merit. In the US, I show my respect for people by making sure it’s ok if I come over before I drop by. I don’t know if they are home, sleeping, sick, busy, or maybe don’t have food in the house to feed me with. But in Ecuador I show my respect for people by welcoming them and making them feel good while they are in my house, even if it means giving them the bread I was going to eat for breakfast tomorrow or the last thing that’s in my fridge. I don’t really think one is better than the other. But I think a hybrid of the two is better than just one of them. And that’s what’s really cool about marrying someone from another culture. Maybe you fight more and you understand each other less than the average newlyweds, but you also get to have a much more complete, interesting view of the world, and the opportunity to adopt traditions and customs that are new to you which make your life more interesting.
I’ve told you about the many guests we had in our house in week one. But I left one out. A very unexpected one. We were finally alone in the house for the first time. It was nighttime, not terribly late, maybe like 7:30 or 8:00. We had already finished dinner and cleaned up the house. So, naturally, as one might assume a newlywed couple might do on their first night alone together, we decided to spend the rest of the evening together, alone, and hopefully somewhat romantically. I decided to put on something appropriate for the occasion, and Jairo hung up a blanket where a curtain should go in our room because we don’t have curtains yet, and didn’t really feel like sharing our evening with the neighborhood.
Everything was going well until we hear a knock at the door. Was that our door? We listened again. Yes, it was definitely our door. Ok. Panic. What were we going to do? I didn’t have any extra clothes, a robe, nothing. We just stared at each other blankly, hoping that whoever it was would just go away. All of the sudden someone knocked on our bedroom window. We both looked at each other with a face that said, “Are you kidding me?” The knocking continued. Obviously they weren’t going to buy that we weren’t home.
Jairo told me to just stay put; it was probably just our friend who lives next door. He left, and I locked the door and listened as he went to see who it was. Soon enough I heard him inviting in the pastor of our church. Yeah. Our pastor! Who, by the way, knows that we are on our “honey moon”.
Jairo showed him to the table and then brought me some clothes to change into. I changed as quickly as possible, trying my best to look presentable. In Ecuador when someone comes over you always serve them something; coffee, tea, whatever you have. So I greeted the pastor and instantly went to work in the kitchen to make tea, which I served with bread and cheese, a fairly typical evening food to serve here.
It turns out there was no real reason for the visit, he was just “in the neighborhood” and wanted to stop by. On my honeymoon. He stayed for over an hour making small talk, and then went home. I was completely dumbfounded. Jairo, although annoyed, had a precedent for this sort of thing, because he’s Ecuadorian, and apparently dropping in unannounced is fairly common practice here.
So I weighed both sides in my head. My American upbringing teaches me that, although an amusing story to tell later, this was completely inappropriate, intrusive behavior. However, my Ecuadorian surroundings tell me that a good person is a person who always opens their home to anyone, anytime. And the more I think about it, the more I think that both sides have merit. In the US, I show my respect for people by making sure it’s ok if I come over before I drop by. I don’t know if they are home, sleeping, sick, busy, or maybe don’t have food in the house to feed me with. But in Ecuador I show my respect for people by welcoming them and making them feel good while they are in my house, even if it means giving them the bread I was going to eat for breakfast tomorrow or the last thing that’s in my fridge. I don’t really think one is better than the other. But I think a hybrid of the two is better than just one of them. And that’s what’s really cool about marrying someone from another culture. Maybe you fight more and you understand each other less than the average newlyweds, but you also get to have a much more complete, interesting view of the world, and the opportunity to adopt traditions and customs that are new to you which make your life more interesting.
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