-Ashley
Tell us a little bit about yourself. Who are you?
I’m Julia Rodrick. I am the wife to Phillip. I am the mom to Tina, Todd, Nick and Ashley. I am also the grandma to Travis, Brandon, Bryce, Paige, Isabella and Maddox.
Tell us about your family.
We are a blended family. My two oldest children are from my husband’s first marriage. Our “middle” son is from my first marriage and our youngest is ours, together. In spite of this “blending” I believe our family dynamics reflect a unity that is rare and blessed. I don’t think our kids think of themselves as having “step” relationships with each other. It hasn’t always been easy but I like to think that each of our kids know that we (My husband and I) hold each of them as close in heart equally. There is no “yours” or “mine”, just ours…
How many children do you have, and what are their ages?
Four; Tina 40, Todd 35, Nicholas 30 and Ashley 25
This is an interview about motherhood, but your motherhood is shaped a lot by your marriage. How would you describe your relationship with your husband?
I would say Committed and loyal. We aren’t always best friends but we are always in love.
What is the hardest thing about being married?
I believe marriage is about “dying to self” everyday, and doing it willingly. That’s difficult because to do that requires total trust that your spouse will do the same…scary stuff
What is the best thing about being married?
Despite the challenges, it’s fun. It’s an adventure each day.
Describe a memory between you and your husband that really stands out in your mind.
So many…I remember when we bought our first ford truck. I wasn’t thrilled because I didn’t see how it would be something I would use…My husband surprised me the night he brought it home by placing soft blankets in the back, bought wine and chicken to create a picnic in the back of the truck (while Randy Travis’ “Forever and Ever, Amen” played in the background…very sweet)
How did your relationship with your husband change when you became parents?
We were already parents so I can’t say it changed…I will say that it was a challenge to transition from having one 2 ½ year old boy to three kids (including a pre-teen).
How does your parenting style compare with your husband´s?
He is a man of few words when it comes to discipline. He has a way of communicating expectations and the kids never challenged it. I am an over-communicator so I’m sure I wore my kids out.
In what ways have you changed since you became a mother?
I hope I am less selfish. I hope that I am more generous. I know that I am much more committed to Christ
Describe a memory of pregnancy that stands out to you.
My two pregnancies were physically demanding. I was very ill during my first. Blood pressures and protein levels were abnormal most of the time. I was hospitalized. I gained a lot of weight. They thought my son “wouldn’t be right” and suggested I terminate the pregnancy at first. I couldn’t do it. It’s amazing how you can love a child when they are just a hope…no bigger than a lima bean. My first husband was absent emotionally so I felt very much alone. I focused all my attention on staying as healthy as possible for the baby. It was difficult because I was trying to finish college and had to work part-time. My second time around, I was sick but had a lot of emotional support from my new husband. We were excited.
Describe a memory of your first weeks of motherhood that stands out to you.
It felt natural, even though I spent most of the time on the couch nursing. Having my son in my arms was calming. He was a good baby.
In what ways has your parenting style changed with each child?
I think each of our children are very different and we eventually learned that each required a different approach. A firm hand worked for our oldest son…it NEVER worked for our youngest daughter.
In what ways are your children similar to each other and in what ways are they different?
Tina is guarded but very loyal to those she loves. She is giving and patient, creative and sensible. Todd is very black and white. He needs control, is very strong-willed, but can be very loving. Nick is a funny, creative, bold young man with an intense sense of duty. He loves life and loves with passion. Ashley is strong-willed, but fair. She loves deeply and with fierce loyalty. She is a philosopher and dreamer but is sensible. She likes to plan life and used to get pretty frustrated when life didn’t conform to her plans. She is very funny and entertaining.
In what ways are your children similar to you? In what ways are they different from you?
I think the sense of loyalty comes from both my husband and me. I think the strong-will comes from me… I think the dreamer is from me but the sensible side is from my husband. I know it’s irritating to ALL my kids that I’m a morning person!
For each of your children, share one of your favorite memories.
Tina’s wedding day (wow, she was so beautiful), Todd when he hit the softball for the first time, he has some disability so that was HUGE! Nick’s first step. It was just him and me, playing after his bath and, after helping him to steady, he took two steps. I was amazed because he was so chubby I didn’t think he could balance. Ashley, the day she started to read. I knew she was going to be unstoppable. Of course her wedding was very special too…
Describe a moment as a mother where you felt overwhelmed.
Gee, just one moment…sometimes it has seemed that I felt overwhelmed for months! Most recently, I’d say the day my son returned after deployment. It was a very tough period in our family and great relief to have him home safe. It broke my heart as I realized how emotionally affected he was from his experience there. It still does.
What are your favorite ways to relax when you need a little break?
I like making jewelry, reading Max Lucado, shopping or enjoying a good movie.
What has been the hardest lesson you have had to learn as a mother?
That I’m not always right in my choices. I thank God that I have forgiving children...
What has been the hardest experience you have gone through as a mother? What did that experience teach you?
I’m still going through it, but I think that it’s that you can’t make choices for your (grown) children. Totally have to rely on God.
Looking back on your life as a mother, what, if anything, do you regret?
Working full time. I know, with our situation, it was unavoidable but I wish I would have been around more. I so relate to young moms who try to balance work with family. It’s so difficult.
What do you think is the most important quality in a mother?
Faith, know what you believe. Grace, extending to your children at all times; Integrity, don’t compromise your faith. Protection but balancing when to let go (still learning that one, even after all these years)
What do you think children need most from their mothers?
Humor, Love, confirmation that they are special and worthwhile. Forgiveness when they “screw-up”
What advice would you give to other mothers out there who are reading this interview?
After 30 years, I’m still learning so, I’d say the reality of that would be that life is a process. Hang in there, enjoy your children, be genuine and honest and fair… don’t sweat the small stuff…
Do you have any tips or tricks that have helped you stay organized, run your household or raise your kids more effectively?
Do a little each day to stay ahead. Teach your kids early to clean up after themselves. Make it fun. Don’t judge perfection…if the bed is crooked, they missed some crumbs, etc. but they tried… yeah for them!
Awww... Julia, you and Phil raised a wonderful family!
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