tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-50988324077481889582023-11-16T01:58:56.869-06:00Married at 21...and that´s just the beginning!!!Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger208125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5098832407748188958.post-9616834726334347912014-10-07T07:00:00.000-06:002014-10-07T07:00:04.844-06:00I´m back!If you notice the dates on these blog posts, you´ll notice I haven´t been blogging lately. Like, for a very long time.<br />
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It isn´t a problem of not having anything to say, but actually just the opposite. Sometimes there is so much to say that you just have to be quiet.<br />
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In the past year (yes, it has seriously been a YEAR since my last post) we have been through so much that it´s hard to find the words to express it all. Ministry, like life, is messy and hard and imperfect. It requires growth, and if you remember being a kid, you know that growth comes with pain.<br />
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We have been back in Ecuador for just about a year, and that year feels like an eternity. My girls are so big, and I can´t slow them down in any sense, which, as a mother, all at once gives me joy to see them blossom before my very eyes, and it terrifies me, thinking that the days of childhood are numbered and pass by so quickly. Watching them grow is like watching the sand flow out of an hourglass, and the days go by so quickly and so slowly that I don´t know what to make of it.<br />
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I see our ministry align more and more to the ministry of Christ, and it makes me glad, and at the same time it is exhausting and requires the pouring out of every last ounce of self, until I am so empty and broken that I must depend on His healing and filling to get up every morning.<br />
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I never imagined I would be buying a casket for one of our precious sponsor children, but that is how I spent my husband´s birthday weekend. I never thought I would be singing in a concert for thousands of people, but just weeks later, there I was. I didn´t think I would ever see one of the poor little girls from Kid´s Club give her pair of shoes to another little girl who needed them even more, but I did. I didn´t think the most difficult trouble-makers would run to the front of the room to be chosen to dance for God, but they do. I had hoped I would never spend sleepless nights in the hospital, pleading with God to keep my daughter alive and breathing, but there we were. I never knew what it was like to feel an earthquake every day, but now I do. I would never have thought that a simple workshop for parents would have us all in tears, but there we were, crying together.<br />
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I see in Jesus´ ministry a love for those who the world pushes aside, marginalizes, looks down upon and hates. I see him touching the untouchables, dining with the unworthy, teaching the uneducated, healing the sick and walking along the road as just another man, though He was certainly anything but ordinary. And I pray that our ministry would every day become more like His, until we can find no difference.<br />
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When we opened our church and Kid´s Club, my husband received advice from a pastor, telling him to set up shop elsewhere, because the people in our neighborhood are just not worth the effort. That day we loved our assignment 100 times more.<br />
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Give us the outcasts, the addicts, the wretched, the foul, the destitute, the souls that no one else wants. Our church is full of people like this, and it is chaotic and noisy and smelly and frustrating and there are roots growing below the surface and tiny shoots beginning to find their way through the murky soil and we are blessed because we get to see it all happening.<br />
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And all of it, every last moment, hurts.<br />
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Because suffering and pain are the divine prescription for what ails us. Because true joy is closer to heartbreak than happiness. Because every day is so full of frustration and challenges and pain and sadness and love and peace and joy and blessings that you feel you may just break apart for trying to contain it all inside you.<br />
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Because no matter what you do, you will never be more than a piece of the puzzle, and no matter how far you reach, you will never reach them all. You will never meet every need, you will never dry every tear, you will never save every soul.<br />
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But you can, today, reach one person, meet one need, dry one tear, minister to one soul. You can listen to the person who has no one to talk to, even though you don´t have time. You can keep hugging a little longer because you know the person receiving needs you to stay where you are. You can be patient and kind through the behavior that disappoints, frustrates and infuriates you because you know that God is so patient and kind with you. And little by little these moments add up, and you look back and see how God is weaving you into a tapestry too beautiful to imagine.<br />
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I look back on this year of ministry and life and I see the tapestry forming, and it is full of these moments. It is full of these moments and it is full of you, too. Because every kindness, every generosity, every prayer, every word, hits this ministry and our lives like a tidal wave of encouragement as we walk through the wilderness. I read how Mary, when she saw how people honored her tiny son, cherished all of these things in her heart, and I know exactly what that means because I do the same with every kindness, big and small, that you share with us. We cherish you in our hearts and we want you to know just how thankful we are for you. You could not be more a part of our work if you were here in person. I´m only sorry that you can´t see it for yourself, the tremendous impact you have on so many.<br />
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It is too simple, and it will never be enough, but we will continue to say it: Thank you. We would not be who we are or do what we do without you. Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5098832407748188958.post-65392583718555117172013-10-29T06:29:00.001-06:002013-10-29T06:29:47.890-06:00Getting our hands dirty: New Ministry BlogCheck out our new <a href="http://revolutionministriesec.blogspot.com/2013/10/getting-our-hands-dirty.html" target="_blank">ministry blog</a>, with our first entry by me! (Excerpt below)<br />
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¨God is funny. My plea upon returning to Ecuador was that I was
desperate to do more, I wanted to make a real difference: I wanted to
really get my hands dirty.<br />
<br />
I don´t know how many doses
of hand sanitizer I have applied today, but I have to laugh in the midst
of it all. This isn´t exactly what I meant, God. But yes, my hands are
dirty.¨<br />
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Want to read more? <a href="http://revolutionministriesec.blogspot.com/2013/10/getting-our-hands-dirty.html" target="_blank">Click here</a>!<br />
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5098832407748188958.post-56542744451039799702013-08-19T08:00:00.000-06:002013-08-19T08:00:01.050-06:00Even if I have to die...I heard a song on the radio, and the singer was expressing his desire to follow God, no matter what. Even if he were to lose his life. It´s a good song. And when you say something like that to God, it´s coming from a good place, a sensitive heart. A heart that wants to please God.<br />
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I just wonder if we are really willing to lose our lives for God.<br />
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For some Christians, throughout the world, losing their lives for God means literally losing their lives. They are burned alive, tortured, beaten and killed because they will not denounce the name of Christ. It´s a terrifying reality, and one that should sober us daily as we walk with Christ in such lavish freedom. That freedom will eventually be taken away from us as the time for Christ´s coming get closer, and we, too, may one day have to face those horrors. But for now, that threat is still distant, and doesn´t play much of a role in our lives from day to day.<br />
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So, when a middle class, everyday Christian says to God, ¨I would die for you,¨ what is that person really saying?<br />
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Is God unjust? Why should some Christians be called to give their lives while others are free to live out their lives comfortably? <br />
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The answer is that God is just, and all Christians are called to give their lives for Him. If someone put a gun to your head and asked you if you are a Christian, I hope you would say yes. I hope I would, too. But what about the daily death we are called to face? What about dying to ourselves? What about taking up our cross?<br />
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I have been in many different settings and cultures and I have observed the current state of the Church, and I fear that this death is just as rare for us as martyrdom. We live a Christianity that is comfortable, safe, and, to be honest, virtually unrecognizable in contrast with the Christianity of Scripture.<br />
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You don´t become a martyr based on one act of faithfulness when the gun is on your temple. You become a martyr based on the daily act of dying to self. This is why Jesus warns us:<br /><br /><i>“If
anyone comes to Me, and does not hate his own father and mother and
wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life,
he cannot be My disciple.<span class="reftext"><b> </b></span>Whoever does not carry his own cross and come after Me cannot be My disciple.<a href="http://biblehub.com/luke/14-28.htm" style="color: #001320; text-decoration: none;"><span class="reftext"><b> </b></span>For
which one of you, when he wants to build a tower, does not first sit
down and calculate the cost to see if he has enough to complete it?</a><span class="reftext"><b> </b></span>Otherwise, when he has laid a foundation and is not able to finish, all who observe it begin to ridicule him,<span class="reftext"><b> </b></span>saying, ‘This man began to build and was not able to finish.’<span class="reftext"><b> </b></span>Or
what king, when he sets out to meet another king in battle, will not
first sit down and consider whether he is strong enough with ten
thousand men to encounter the one coming against him with twenty thousand?<span class="reftext"><b> </b></span>Or else, while the other is still far away, he sends a delegation and asks for terms of peace.<span class="reftext"><b> </b></span>So then, none of you can be My disciple who does not give up all his own possessions.<span class="brk">¨ Luke 14:26-33</span></i><br />
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<span class="brk"></span><br />
<span class="brk"><br />If it were easy, if it were comfortable, if it were a matter of just saying the words, why would Jesus talk so much about the need to be prepared? The Jesus you accepted as a little kid in Sunday School or on the subway from a Bible pamphlet is not just a happy face with open arms. He is a Holy God who gave His life to save us, and He has expectations. </span><br />
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<span class="brk"><br />I wonder, is our faith really costing us anything? Is it difficult? How much does it occupy our thoughts? How much effort does it require?</span><br />
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<span class="brk"><br />Are we really willing to lose our lives? Are we willing to give up our time, our relationships, our hobbies, our jobs, our money, our possessions? Are we willing to watch Him slowly take control of every last detail? Because He must. If we are to follow Him, then He has to be the one calling the shots.</span><br />
<span class="brk"></span><br />
<span class="brk"><br /></span>I can say from experience that when He is in the driver´s seat, pretty soon your life becomes unrecognizable. Because it isn´t yours anymore. You lost it. And only once that happens can you really begin to be a follower of Christ.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5098832407748188958.post-51129725566204509172013-08-14T08:00:00.000-06:002013-08-16T04:25:24.174-06:00Perfect Moments<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I always tell my husband that I need something to collect. I love looking at other people´s collections of things. It doesn´t matter if they collect stamps, coins, jewelry, dolls, books or whatever--I love the idea of searching for that special something, finding it in some unexpected place, getting excited about it, and putting it in a special place at home amongst other similar things where it will feel at home. I wanted to collect something, but there wasn´t anything that I really cared enough about to collect. (One quality of mine that makes me a good missionary, but not a very good collector, is that I am not very impressed by material possessions.)<br />
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Today, however, I finally found something worth collecting. It´s rare, valuable, and almost always turns up in unexpected places. It´s virtually impossible to manufacture, and equally as difficult to preserve. What is it?<br />
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The perfect moment.<br />
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Have you had one? I had one just today. There was music on the radio, and we had just finished dinner. I scooped Bella up in my arms, and Jairo was holding Jane, and we were dancing together; our two little pairs of dancing partners. For about ten seconds (I told you, these moments don´t last long), it was like life was put on pause. The air was filled with love, closeness and pure happiness. And then, in the blink of an eye, it was gone. Life was normal again.<br />
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It wasn´t a perfect day. I failed many times. I failed as a mother. I failed as a wife. I failed as a follower of Christ. You can´t collect perfect days, because they do not exist. Not in this world. But you can collect perfect moments.<br />
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If you are a reader of CS Lewis, you will recognize these perfect moments as what he calls ¨joy¨. It isn´t just a happy feeling. It´s a moment of transcendence. It´s bittersweet. And it is designed to make you ache in your soul.<br />
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Why?<br />
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Because these moments are what we were created for. Before the fall, before sin and failure, there was joy. There was perfection. And there are traces of that perfection still hanging around, ready to surprise you and remind you that there is more. To remind you that what is to come is so much better than what we are living now. It stings, because it doesn´t last, and we so wish it would. But it also reminds us that the capacity we have for feeling true joy is a foreshadowing of an existence to come, when joy will no longer sting, because it will never end.<br />
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Would you collect with me? If you pay attention, you will find these perfect moments scattered all throughout your day-to-day. You might have to turn off your iphone, close your laptop, switch off the tv...but it´s worth it. Be present, open your eyes, and really see. There, in your child´s big, genuine, belly laugh; here, in a cool breeze, while you pause to look at Creation; it really can be found anywhere, if you look.<br />
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When you find the perfect moment, beware: It is not tame, and it will not stay with you long. If you want to keep it, you will have to bottle it up in your memory. And, if your memory is anything like mine, your perfect moment will not be safe in your memory for long. Tomorrow, next week, sometime you will forget it. And then it will be lost. So write it down. It only takes a few seconds. It´s like sticking your new stamp in your stamp book, or your new book on the shelf. You put it away ever so carefully, and then, when you need it, you´ll know where it is.<br />
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And you will need it.<br />
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There are so many moments in life that rob us of joy. In those moments, the best defense is to remember those perfect moments. It´s good to know that they exist, that we have lived them, and that soon we will live them again. In this world, and someday, in the next. Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5098832407748188958.post-69791522068160830642013-08-07T06:00:00.000-06:002013-08-13T21:40:58.693-06:00My Janey Bear<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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World, meet Janey Bear.<br />
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My first (lucid) thought after giving birth to Jane, when the doctors placed her on my chest and I was endlessly cuddling her, was this:<br />
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<i>You have always been a part of this family.</i><br />
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Sometimes parents worry when another child is on the way, about the transition it will be for the family, and whether or not they will be able to love another child as much as the first. Everyone assures you that you will, but it is impossible to imagine until you have lived it.<br />
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Having a new family member has certainly been a transition, and not always an easy one, but I never doubted Jane´s place with us. She fit perfectly into a little Jane-shaped hole that I never noticed we had in our family. (I wonder how many more baby-shaped holes we will discover in the future?? ha.)<br />
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Janey Bear, as we call her, is everything you could want in a baby. She is easy. She is calm, happy, and extremely cuddly. She is generous with her smiles, which are big and contagious. She thinks her sister is hilarious, and loves tickles when she´s sleepy. She is physically strong and constantly surprises us with what she can do. She has a very girly cry, and makes a heartbreaking face when she uses it, that makes you rush over to fawn over her and make her happy. She loves her blue ball. As soon as she wakes up in the morning, she starts smiling and cooing at us.<br />
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She also seems to know exactly what she wants. I remember when she was only days old, and she would look at us so intensely and grunt: ¨uh! uh!¨ and we would know she wanted us to pick her up. She is getting bigger now and has more sounds and faces, but when she wants something, she gets you to understand her in some magic Janey way.<br />
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Cuddling and nursing Jane, watching Bella cuddle Jane and make her laugh, watching her fall asleep while Jairo strokes her face, I realize that my first reaction to Jane was exactly right. She was the one thing we never knew we needed. <br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5098832407748188958.post-10684902793702425922013-08-05T11:57:00.003-06:002013-08-05T22:10:41.678-06:00Mom of Two<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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It´s official...I´m a mom of two.<br />
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My life consists almost entirely of feeding, bathing, playing with, cuddling, reading to, singing to, comforting, teaching, dressing, and refereeing children. I almost always have at least one child attached to me, on top of me, pulling on my leg, cradled in my arms, or climbing on me. I never sleep alone, eat alone, and rarely ever get to use the bathroom alone. I have to plan my whole day perfectly to get a shower. And even the most perfect planning does not guarantee success. And don´t call me on the phone...I won´t be able to hear, listen to or focus on more than 10% of what you´re telling me.<br />
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I also had the joy of once again recovering from childbirth, which apparently does not get easier with experience. I will spare you the gory details, but I think I was a card-carrying member of Childbearers Anonymous because going to the bathroom suddenly became a 12-step process. Which was great, since I have approximately 4.7 seconds in the bathroom before my toddler barges in, or before my infant starts crying to be nursed, or both. I had hot flashes, mood swings, pain, and constant trips to the bathroom, not to mention extreme exhaustion.<br />
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As a mother, I have now faced every kind of bodily fluid in such quantity that they no longer gross me out. You will have to do much worse than pee or vomit on me if you want me to be impressed, let me tell you. I have done the all-nighters, dealt with night terrors, insomnia, night-feedings, nighttime vomiting and bed-wetting, and the getting up the next day to do it all over again. I have held crying babies and tried to soothe them without knowing what is wrong. I have been driven to the point of desperation one hundred times in a day.<br />
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And if you think that´something (which you won´t, if you´re also a mother), let me introduce you to every mother´s constant companion: mommy guilt. That constant voice in your head telling you that you are doing everything wrong, that your children are going to be scarred forever by your tremendous failures as a mother, and would probably be better off being raised by wolves.<br />
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But here´s the kicker, ladies and gentlemen: I LOVE THIS STUFF.<br />
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Yes, it´s true, most days my to-do list only grows, and I feel overwhelmed by the quantity of things I have yet to get done. But then I think about all of the things I did get done. I (hopefully) showed my daughters patience, love, kindness, consideration and grace, teaching them slowly but surely how to do the same. I (hopefully) took time to listen, to play, to cuddle, to kiss and hug, to dream, to sing, to dance and to eat imaginary cupcakes. I (hopefully) taught my daughters the value of motherhood, by choosing to be their mother over other things that I could be doing. I (hopefully) showed my girls how to set good priorities, teaching them that people are more important than laundry, dirty dishes, and *gasp* even ministry. Because they <u>are</u> my ministry. They <u>are</u> my mission field. They are the most important role God has given me.<br />
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I am thankful for every role that God has given me. I´m thankful to be a missionary, a wife, a woman, a daughter, a leader, and a sister. <br />
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But most of all, I am so thankful to be a mom of two. Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5098832407748188958.post-76200479821245362572013-04-15T06:00:00.000-06:002013-08-16T04:30:58.405-06:00Get-through-your-Monday Girl Time - Interview with MeIt´s Monday again, (no matter how hard you try, they just keep coming!) and that means it´s time for Get-through-your-Monday Girl Time! Well, it didn´t seem fair to make all of my mommy friends do this lovely interview and not do it myself, so here you go! I got a taste of my own medicine! I feel a little weird about interviewing myself, but hey, it´s my blog, right? I won´t spend my intro time talking myself up, since you already read my blog and you know how awesome I am! Ha. I hope you enjoy our last mommy interview (for now), with little old me! Tune in next week for some other kind of awesome girl time-y thing.<br />
Ashley<br />
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<i><u>Tell us a little bit about yourself. Who are you?</u></i><br />
My name is Ashley, I´m 28 and I´m the cool lady that runs this blog. Ha. I have been living in Ecuador for about four years, which is about how long I´ve had this blog, although at the time I´m writing this I am in the US on furlough getting ready to have a baby.<br />
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<u><i>Tell us about your family. </i></u><br />
I am married to a wonderful, godly man, Jairo, and we have one daughter who is 2 and a half and another daughter on the way (due sometime around the publication of this interview!). Our family lives in Ecuador, South America, where we serve as missionaries. You can check out our website<a href="http://revolutionministriesec.wordpress.com/" target="_blank"> here</a>.<br />
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<u><i>This is an interview about motherhood, but your motherhood is shaped a lot by your marriage. How would you describe your relationship with your husband?</i></u><br />
I think our marriage is a work in progress. We have grown so much in the time we have been married. We just celebrated our 4th anniversary, and I was joking with my husband that I can´t believe it´s only been four years! It might sound like a bad thing when you say it like that, but it´s not. I just can´t imagine that we have lived so much in such a short time. I feel like we are both such different people than we were on the day we walked down the aisle. I think we have lived enough for a lifetime already. It´s probably because we live in such an extreme situation, being missionaries in South America, living drastically below a North American standard of living, and far away from both of our families. Every day is an adventure!<br />
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<u><i>What is the hardest thing about being married?</i></u><br />
I think the hardest thing in our marriage has been getting to a point where we put our marriage before ourselves as individuals. It´s in little things like saying ¨I´m sorry¨ even when you´re sure you´re right, or picking your battles. It´s in all kinds of personal sacrifices, which seem so big at the time. It´s in translating the love that God shows for us, unconditional, limitless, to our partner. That is hard!<br />
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<u><i>What is the best thing about being married?</i></u><br />
I think the best thing about being married is marriage…It´s the whole package. I love feeling like I have someone in my corner, and I also love having someone else to think about and dedicate my effort to. I like knowing there is someone who will love me no matter what, and that makes me want to be better so I can be easier to love. I love having a partner in ministry, in parenting and in life in general. I love having and being a shoulder to cry on, and someone to laugh with. I like having an intimate, secret relationship with someone, and feeling like I know him like no one else does.<br />
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<u><i>Describe a memory between you and your husband that really stands out in your mind.</i></u><br />
One that comes to mind is when we had just found out I was pregnant. We used to celebrate our anniversary every month, and that month I was craving encebollado (an Ecuadorian fish soup), so we went out to a seafood restaurant and got that dish. We had no money, but we were just so happy about the baby and being together…it was a perfect day!<br />
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<u><i>How did your relationship with your husband change when you became parents?</i></u><br />
I think becoming parents made our marriage really feel real. I think when you don´t have kids, you can still potentially be two separate people, not really following that biblical mandate to become one flesh. For me, the one flesh thing came into full force with the arrival of our first daughter. We had lots of important decisions to make, responsibilities to share and we really had to learn to rely on each other as we also relied on God. I think having children deepened our relationship and helped us to grow up individually and as a couple.<br />
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<u><i>How does your parenting style compare with your husband´s?</i></u><br />
I think I am more firm, while he is more permissive. But he is more patient, and I am really working on that! I think we both have the same basic beliefs about raising our kids, so we are usually on the same page. We are a good team in that when one of us is getting to the end of his or her rope, the other comes in and can show grace to our daughter...usually!<br />
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<u><i>In what ways have you changed since you became a mother?</i></u><br />
I have become acutely aware of my flaws, and that has helped me to try to improve, although sometimes it can also be frustrating. I think I have become more patient, but I need more patience still. I think I have become more selfless, yet I can still be so selfish! <br />
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<u><i>Describe a memory of pregnancy that stands out to you.</i></u><br />
All of my pregnancies have been in some way traumatic. I joke with Jairo that my body is allergic to pregnancy. I love babies, but I hate being pregnant! My first pregnancy was traumatic because at the end I had a severe UTI that the doctor didn´t know about, so I had 10 days of labor and no baby! When I was finally induced, the labor was extremely painful, because of the UTI. (I was already in labor when that test came back, so there was nothing they could do!) Plus, I had preeclampsia. The doctors I saw in the days before she was born kept telling me I needed a c-section or I would die, etc. Traumatic.<br />
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My second pregnancy ended in miscarriage, which was extremely traumatic for me, and has really affected my outlook on my current pregnancy.<br />
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This pregnancy has been the healthiest of the three, so far! It has been more emotionally difficult for me than anything else. Raising a toddler, coming off of a miscarriage, having a million things to deal with for furlough and health insurance here in the US, not being very successful in fundraising…there are a lot of stressors this time. I´m trying to stay calm and trust God, but it can be hard! I miss Ecuador, and see Bella forgetting a lot of that side of her heritage, but I´m also glad to be here getting good care.<br />
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<u><i>Describe a memory of your first weeks of motherhood that stands out to you.</i></u><br />
I remember my first weeks of motherhood as being completely overwhelming. The thing that really helped me was leaning on other women who had been there before, usually through facebook! It was just reassuring to know that other people had been there, this was normal and it wouldn´t last forever. I think that experience was probably the seed that eventually sprouted into this interview series.<br />
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<u><i>What things do you think you would do differently if you had another child in the future?</i></u><br />
I think about this sometimes as I prepare for the new baby. I think I will know the answer as I go along, but one thing that I do think will change is that I will hopefully be a little more laid back. I think with your first you just have no idea what to expect. The second time, of course the baby is different, but some things are going to be the same. I probably won´t sleep much at first. Sometimes I won´t know why she is crying. I will be on an emotional roller coaster for about six weeks thanks to hormone levels changing. So, at least I know these things are normal, and they don´t make me a bad mom!<br />
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<u><i>In what ways are your children similar to each other and in what ways are they different?</i></u><br />
Right now the only thing I can compare between my two daughters are my two pregnancies. I think all in all the two have been pretty similar, so I am curious to see how they compare in personalities and also in looks once they are born. I always tell my husband, we could have ten kids and all ten could potentially come out very different from each other, because he is Ecuadorian and I am from the US. Bella is a good mix of both of us physically and in her personality, so it makes me wonder what the new little one will be like. This baby is very active, but unlike Bella, who was always active in response to music especially, this one seems more active in response to Bella. I think she senses when Bella is around, and gets excited. When I snuggle Bella at night, the new baby always starts to wiggle and kick, like she just can´t wait to cuddle her big sister. This pregnancy has been more exhausting than my first, but I think that has more to do with being the mom of a toddler than it does with the new baby.<br />
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<u><i>In what ways are your children similar to you? In what ways are they different from you?</i></u><br />
Well, I will soon find out about the new baby, but Bella is a lot like me. She is easily frustrated when she can´t do something the way she wants to. She loves to be the center of attention (which is actually nothing like I was as a child), but she doesn´t like to be put on the spot to perform for fear of failure (exactly like me). She loves music, which I think she got from both of her parents. She is very bright in a lot of the same ways I was as a child. She is very affectionate and loves being caressed and hugged, but only when she wants to, like me. Plus she looks a lot like me, although the shape of her face and color of her eyes are definitely daddy´s. She is very imaginative, like I was as a child. She is a total morning person, and I don´t know who she got that from, because neither Jairo nor I are morning people at all! She likes to know the reason behind the rules, like me, so I spend a lot of time explaining things.<br />
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<u><i>For each of your children, share one of your favorite memories.</i></u><br />
For Bella, the most lasting memory I have has to be of the moment she was born. I remember sort of blacking out at one point during labor. I was having back to back contractions, so I could barely even breathe between pushes. I was totally in my own world, and I felt like I was out of my body. I thought maybe I had died! It was very intense, but not a negative experience. I remember everything went dark, I don´t know for how long. (Jairo, on the other end of my black out, said during that time I totally changed and was just this pushing machine! Haha) Then I remember feeling this *BOOM* and I opened my eyes. I looked down and there she was! I will never forget the way her face looked in that moment. It was amazing. I was out of this world. <br />
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I also love getting to know Bella as a person, and keeping track of all of the funny things she says. I never would have imagined starting a quote book for a 1 and a half year old, but I think that´s when all of those funny thoughts started pouring out of her. She is a deep thinker, even if the only thing she´s thinking about is food or toys.<br />
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With the new baby, I got to see an ultrasound of her at around 12 weeks, which is something I didn´t get to do with Bella. It was amazing to see her moving around in there, so active, and so tiny! But yet perfectly formed…I could even see her little nose! It was so exciting! <br />
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<u><i>Describe a moment as a mother where you felt overwhelmed.</i></u><br />
Well, I have these moments often, so don´t be fooled! I think the most overwhelming feeling to me was being a new mom, just a few weeks in, and wondering if it would always be like this, and why no one warned me! I absolutely adored Bella, and she was a pretty good baby, but she was still a baby and babies are hard to raise, especially newborns! But somewhere around hormones leveling out and her first genuine, enormous grin, it started to even out and I felt more confident as her mother. I think confidence is a big help. Once you feel like you know what you´re doing, and you can handle it, it´s no big deal. The problem is that kids love to mix it up, and as soon as you get into the groove with one phase, they are on to the next!<br />
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<u><i>What are your favorite ways to relax when you need a little break?</i></u><br />
I love to watch a movie with a hot cup of something. Usually there is a time when Bella is sleeping and Jairo isn´t home yet. I try to keep an orderly home, so I don´t have too much to do at night. Then I can relax a little. I also like to read, but it depends on the day, because sometimes your brain is on and you want to feed it, and sometimes you want to let it rest!<br />
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<u><i>What has been the hardest lesson you have had to learn as a mother?</i></u><br />
Well, I think by far the hardest lesson for me was that our children are not our own. They are on loan to us from God, and at some point, He may want them back. Some people are blessed to have their children for their whole lives. I hope that is my case with Bella and the new baby. Some people only get a few years, months or days. And some people don´t get even that much, if they have a miscarriage like I did, and like so many people I know have. That was a real struggle with God for me. It was a giant tug-of-war.<br />
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<u><i>What has been the hardest experience you have gone through as a mother? What did that experience teach you?</i></u><br />
Well, I guess just expanding on what I said above, the hardest thing was probably the miscarriage. I didn´t get to meet my baby or hold him or her. I was blissfully happy to be pregnant, and then I was horribly crushed. The grieving process for me has been very long. This pregnancy has brought a lot of that to light. I think what I ultimately learned was to invest in my children for as long as I can, to love them and to always think to myself, ¨If this were my last day with you, what would I want to add to it?¨ Usually that includes a few more kisses and hugs, an extra ¨I love you¨, and some simple way to get a smile from that little face! I don´t think you have to go crazy every day doing some amazing thing. I just hope I can show my children every day how much I love them. And some days are better than others!! (Sometimes part of making sure this day counts is asking for forgiveness and starting over!)<br />
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<u><i>Looking back on your life as a mother, what, if anything, do you regret?</i></u><br />
With Bella, my regrets are more general. I mostly just regret the moments when I have been unkind to her, or not sympathetic enough, or impatient. I try really hard to keep that in mind and learn from it so I can have less and less regrets. Other than that, I guess I also regret just not always making the most of opportunities. But you have to be able to let those things go, and learn from them. Beating yourself up doesn´t get you anywhere, and probably really just sets you up for failure.<br />
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With the baby we lost, I regret not looking at the ultrasound I got when the bleeding started. I couldn´t do it, it was too hard, because in my heart I knew what was happening. But later I felt like I missed my one chance to see that baby. I don´t think that´s true though, because during the whole miscarriage process I had a dream where I saw a beautiful little baby boy, with a radiant little face, smiling at me from a crib, and it might sound crazy but I think God gave me that little glimpse of the baby. I guess I won´t know for sure until heaven!<br />
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With the new baby, I don´t have any regrets. Sometimes I wish I had more time to focus on her, like I did with Bella. Your first pregnancy kind of consumes your thoughts, whereas subsequent pregnancies you have other children to think about. But I don´t think that´s bad…I´m sure she knows I love her!<br />
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<u><i>What do you think is the most important quality in a mother?</i></u><br />
Patience, with a capital P. Children require so much from us. You have to be able to take a deep breath, put a smile on your face, and get through the day. Some days are easier than others. But you have to have patience, even on the best days. Patience gives us the ability to see past what would normally annoy or anger us and get to the heart of the issue.<br />
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<u><i>What do you think children need most from their mothers?</i></u><br />
Love, as defined in the Bible. Have you read that long list of what love is? (1 Corinthians 13) Love is patient, love is kind…if we were to encompass God´s love and show that to our children, I don´t think they would need much else. However, I think that love also should lead us to present the gospel to our children at every opportunity, even when they are small. They need to know why we are able to love them, and who to look to when we do it wrong. I don´t think just preaching is enough, you have to live it. But because we are imperfect, just living it is also not enough. You have to be able to love them, and also point them to the One True Source of love.<br />
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<u><i>What advice would you give to other mothers out there who are reading this interview?</i></u><br />
Be critical of yourself as a mother, but don´t be unrealistic. I think sometimes the idea of ¨don´t be too hard on yourself¨ can be an easy way out. If you screwed up today, you have to own that. Look at yourself honestly. Take an inventory. How is your heart? How is your relationship with God? With your husband? With your children? What can you do better? We should ask those questions every day. But we shouldn´t let those questions take us down a road of self-pity and despair. If I succeeded today, it was by God´s grace. If I failed, there is forgiveness. So take a look in the mirror, fix what needs to be fixed. No excuses. But don´t beat yourself up. You can´t change the past. You can only learn from it. (Lion King flashback enter here! Anyone know what I´m talking about? Ha.)<br />
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<u><i>Do you have any tips or tricks that have helped you stay organized, run your household or raise your kids more effectively?</i></u><br />
I learn from other moms. I check out blogs, I talk to my friends. I get new ideas, try new things. I try to stay organized. I´m a list person. I think whoever you are, the best thing you can do, especially if you have kids, is to get in a routine. You can´t really schedule life as a mom, but you can have a general flow that guides you and your children through the day. It´s easier for everyone if you have an idea of what to expect. And, like I said, try new things. What works for others won´t always work for you, but sometimes it will. Take what works, toss the rest. Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5098832407748188958.post-37617374536475029922013-04-08T06:00:00.000-06:002013-04-08T06:00:08.157-06:00Get-through-your-Monday Girl Time - SuperMom Mariela VelascoIt´s Monday, or Lunes as we say in Ecuador, and time for yet another mommy interview! I´m excited to share this week´s mommy with you, coming to you all the way from Puyo, Ecuador! Mariela and I have been friends since I first went to live in Ecuador, and we have gone through the different stages of womanhood together. We were married about a month apart, and our first children are about 6 months apart. Our second children will be a few months apart as well! It has been a pleasure to have a friend to go through each step with, and grow together as we grow in womanhood, motherhood, and faith.<br />
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Enjoy!<br />
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-Ashley<br />
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<u><i>Tell us a little bit about yourself. Who are you? </i></u><br />
Hi, my name is Mariela Velasco, I´m 25 years old, I was born in Puyo, Ecuador, and I really like to learn about being a good mom, a good wife, and a good child of God! <br />
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<u><i>Tell us about your family. </i></u><br />
I love my family. I am very happy and thankful to God for having given me a family! My husband and I were married on December 27th, 2008, and four months later we found out we were going to be parents! It was really a beautiful surprise, it was the biggest and most beautiful news that we could have gotten. We fell in love with our son from the moment we found out that he was growing inside of me...and when he was born he was the apple of our eyes! We are currently expecting our second baby and we are very happy and want to meet him already! My husband and I own a small printing business and we are also part of a multilevel network. We know that God is in control of our lives and everything we have been through has a purpose that God shows us day by day. <br />
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We both serve in our church, my husband is the worship leader and is also in charge of discipleship and some teaching in the church, and I am the director of Sunday school and I also teach a class for children. I love to share with children about God. <br />
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<u><i>How many children do you have, and what are their ages? </i></u><br />
We have one son who is three years and three months old, and we are awaiting our second baby, and my pregnancy is currently 27 weeks along. <br />
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<u><i>This is an interview about motherhood, but your motherhood is shaped a lot by your marriage. How would you describe your relationship with your husband? </i></u><br />
My husband and I make a great team because we are best friends! We love each other a lot, my husband takes good care of me, he always wants the best for us. We love God above all things, we depend on Him and we trust that He will always give us His best, even though we sometimes have to learn by going through difficult things, but God´s love has always made us stronger. <br />
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<u><i>What is the hardest thing about being married? </i></u><br />
When there are problems, sometimes because of misunderstandings, or a difference of opinion, or because of financial issues. <br />
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<u><i>What is the best thing about being married? </i></u><br />
When we got married, when our son was born...and when our second baby comes! <br />
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<u><i>Describe a memory between you and your husband that really stands out in your mind.</i></u><br />
When we were about 7 months married, I was three months pregnant, and my husband had a motorcycle accident. He had a crash with a car, and I was waiting that night for him to come home. It was getting late and he didn´t answer his phone. I was crying because didn´t know what was going on. My mother-in-law called me and asked me to calm down, and she told me that my husband had been in an accident. I couldn´t calm down, I just kept crying and I felt so hopeless. For me it was really difficult because I was pregnant, and everyone was afraid that if they told me the news I might lose the baby from the stress, even though they didn´t have to take him to the hospital or the police. When he got home and I saw my husband, my heart was beating so strongly and the only thing I wanted to do was hug him and never be apart from him, because for a moment I thought I would never see him again. But God had taken care of him at every moment. He had some fractures and wounds, which healed quickly. For me it was really awful because I couldn´t imagine my life without him. I understood how strong my love was for him, and also that God is taking care of us all the time. <br />
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<u><i>How did your relationship with your husband change when you became parents? </i></u><br />
It changed a lot because we didn´t have the same time for each other, because now we had to think about and take care of our son and give him all of our love. <br />
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<u><i>How does your parenting style compare with your husband´s? </i></u><br />
We have the same ideas about our children´s education. We both know that we need to correct him when necessary and be loving at all times. <br />
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<u><i>In what ways have you changed since you became a mother? </i></u><br />
I have changed a lot as far as the time I used to have to myself. Now I do things more quickly, and give all the time to my son that he needs. I´m more dependent on God. I understand really clearly what my mother says, that you would give anything for your children. It´s true. I´ve become a more courageous woman so that I can protect my son from anything, and I would give anything to make sure he is ok.<br />
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<u><i>Describe a memory of pregnancy that stands out to you. </i></u><br />
When I was two months pregnant, I had a lot of problems. All kinds of food made me sick, and I could only eat a little bit because everything made me throw up. One morning my mother-in-law invited us to eat fanesca, an Ecuadorian food that I do not like, but I had to eat it all, because my husband said that she had made it thinking of us. When we left there to go back home on our motorcycle, I had to tell my husband to stop because I couldn´t take it anymore. I threw up everything I had eaten, in the middle of the street, and it was so embarrassing for my husband and for me, because the cars were honking as they drove by and some people were saying ¨how gross!¨. Also, before I got pregnant I loved to eat shrimp, it was the best food to me, but since I got pregnant and to this day I can´t even look at them, they disgust me. Ha! <br />
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<u><i>Describe a memory of your first weeks of motherhood that stands out to you. </i></u><br />
I felt so much tenderness and love as I looked at every little inch of him, and watched every little movement, his gestures, his smiles...and I used to always get really close to him to make sure he was breathing...haha <br />
What things do you think you would do differently if you had another child in the future?<br />
I won´t be too overprotective, I will make schedules for every day and organize everything, and try to do more early stimulation with the new baby.<br />
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<u><i>Describe your child´s personality.</i></u><br />
My little David is very affectionate with others, and very tender to me. He gives me kisses without having to ask him. He´s generous, he likes to make friends and play with them. He likes to listen to stories, put together puzzles, he loves tractors, and wants to spend all of his time playing. He learns songs really quickly and he loves to play with his dad because they play so crazily and he loves that! He does´t like to eat any kind of meat, he loves to drink water all the time, he´s very sociable. He can´t be still or in one place for too long or he starts to go crazy. He gets angry when we can´t play with him. He apologizes when he hurts someone, although sometimes it´s very hard for him, and he loves to swim. <br />
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<u><i>In what ways are your children similar to you? In what ways are they different from you? </i></u><br />
He´s like me in the way he eats, and that he wants to be with his daddy all the time. He´s also like me in that he likes to go out and do things all the time, and he loves ice cream, like me. <br />
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We´re different in that he likes to play roughly, like his dad, and he loves cows, but I am scared of them. Haha. <br />
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<u><i>For each of your children, share one of your favorite memories. </i></u><br />
I love when we play doctor and he says, ¨Mommy, I´m the doctor and you´re sick¨ and he tries to make me better with all kinds of creams, and operates on me and puts bandages on me and gives me lots of kisses and tells me I´m all better. I like when he asks me to make him a cake, because he wants to put in all the ingredients and help me with everything until it´s done. <br />
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When it´s time to sleep, I go to bed with him and tell him a story, but he likes it when I tell stories where he is one of the main characters and it makes him laugh a lot. <br />
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<u><i>Describe a moment as a mother where you felt overwhelmed. </i></u><br />
When he went to day care for the first time, my son was 10 months old. It was awful for me and for him, because when it was time to go and leave him alone, he cried a lot for me, and I left the day care and cried inconsolably at the door for him. I didn´t want to leave him, I didn´t like it, I didn´t like hearing him and seeing him cry. He was only there for a few days and I took him out until he was bigger and could understand that he needed to go to school. We cried then too, but then I couldn´t take him out because the law is that they have to study at three years old. But as time passed he understood that he had to go to school, and now he loves to go and be with his little friends. He learns a lot and he always wants to show me what he has learned that day. <br />
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<u><i>What are your favorite ways to relax when you need a little break? </i></u><br />
I like to go to the pool or river and relax while I swim with my family! I like to get out of the house and get to know new places and visit my family.<br />
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<u><i>What has been the hardest lesson you have had to learn as a mother? </i></u><br />
I have had to learn how to show my son love as a mother, to show him that everything is ok, to tell him I love him a lot, to fix meals for him...In our day to day life we have had a lot of financial struggles but in all those difficult moments God has always been with us and has never left us alone. Everything that we have gone through has been a lesson for us as parents that has helped us to depend more on God and always smile at our son and show him love. <br />
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<u><i>What has been the hardest experience you have gone through as a mother? What did that experience teach you? </i></u><br />
My son kept getting sick, he would get a lot of colds and I would wake up almost every night to see how he was breathing, because if he caughed he would wake up and cry, and even throw up. I was desperate because I didn´t know what to do to get rid of the cough. He would get really high fevers and would have to put cold cloths on him all the time to get the fever down...all of that helped me learn to trust more in God. <br />
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<u><i>Looking back on your life as a mother, what, if anything, do you regret?</i></u><br />
I don´t regret anything, and I wouldn´t exchange the blessing of being a mother for anything! It´s the most beautiful thing that God can do with a woman´s life!<br />
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<u><i>What do you think is the most important quality in a mother? </i></u><br />
Love for her children<br />
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<u><i>What do you think children need most from their mothers? </i></u><br />
Time every day to share with them, enjoying our children every moment <br />
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<u><i>What advice would you give to other mothers out there who are reading this interview? </i></u><br />
That being a mother demands a lot of love, and more than anything time to share with our children. That being a mother is the most beautiful thing God can give to a woman, because it allows you to carry another life inside of your and then care for that life and give it the best. <br />
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<u><i>Any final thoughts you´d like to share? </i></u><br />
My husband and I are very happy about our new baby, we are waiting anxiously for his arrival and we want to see him and give him all of our love just like we do with our first son David. Everything we go through in life has a purpose from God, although as humans we can´t understand, but as time passes we realize how wise and good God is and how He has permitted so many things in our lives so that we can learn from our mistakes or poor decisions, to become stronger spiritually and become more united as a couple and as a family, showing the world that with faith, anything is possible.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5098832407748188958.post-66947492283708735722013-04-02T06:00:00.000-06:002013-08-16T04:31:21.760-06:00Birth Story #2: JaneA few days ago, my newest little cuddle bug was born! She was a healthy 9.2 pounds, and 21 inches long. She has a full head of downy-soft black hair and dark eyes. She is a sweet, cuddly baby who loves to eat!! There are a lot of people who have asked me about her birth story, so here it comes!<br />
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I started having contractions every ten to fifteen minutes daily around the end of February, about a month before my due date. When I went in for my weekly appointment I was already 2cm and about 80-90% effaced, and the doctor said she should come any day! Each week I would go in, and find out I was another cm dilated, still having cntractions, and no baby! So, I started to get very tired and very discouraged.<br />
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A few days before my due date the contractions stopped. It was a relief to be able to rest, but only made me feel that much farther from my goal. My due date came and went. I was still pregnant.<br />
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Then on March 27th I started to have contractions every 6-7 minutes. They were intense, but not awful, so I let my midwife know and sat tight. Another day passed. Around 7:30pm on March 28th I felt and heard a POP while sitting on the couch. I hopped up, expecting a gush of fluid from my water breaking, but none came. I texted my midwife, who said it probably was my water breaking, but that the baby´s head was so low she was blocking the leak. She said to get ready and go to the hospital to get examined, and if it was labor she would be right in. She was only 20 minutes from the hospital. I started having contractions every five minutes, and these ones were keepers!<br />
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We got to the hospital around 8:15pm. The car ride was pretty calm. The contractions were strong, but I was ok. As I got out of the car another contraction hit me and it was clear that I would not be getting sent home today! Jairo and I just stood there, breathing through the contraction. A lady saw us and asked if we needed a wheelchair. We both yelled ¨Yes!¨<br />
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The guy from the lobby wheeled us up to labor and delivery. They took me right to an exam room and had me change into a gown. By the time I got changed and sat back on the bed, the contractions were unbearable, and were coming about every minute. The nurse said I was 6-7cm, and they almost had my delivery room ready. I remember thinking that if I was 6-7 then I still had a few hours, so I might die before then just from the contractions. Luckily, that wasn´t exactly the case.<br />
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About 5 or 10 minutes later someone came in with a wheelchair, while the nurses kept telling me emphatically, ¨Stop pushing! Don´t push!¨ That made as much sense to me as saying, ¨Don´t breathe¨ or ¨Stop existing¨. What do you mean don´t push??? I couldn´t stop if I knew how to try!<br />
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They told me to get into the wheelchair. I said, ¨No, no, no, no, no.¨<br />
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After seeing they were not getting me in the chair, the nurse insisted I let her check me for dilation again. (Remember, it has been, at most, 10 minutes since she checked me.) At first I said no, but I gave in because I did not want to have to get into that wheelchair and I could not stop pushing. She checked me and said, ¨She´s complete! We´re not going anywhere.¨<br />
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The room was filling with people. They kept telling me not to push. I kept pushing. I tried to breathe. Sometimes I breathed. Sometimes I screamed. I wondered how much longer I was going to last. I figured not too long. The pain was horrific.<br />
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The resident arrived. ¨How far out is the midwife?¨ someone asks. ¨20 minutes,¨ someone answers. ¨She´s not going to make it!¨ comes the reply. That made me feel better (emotionally, anyway). They think the baby will be here soon.<br />
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They get my legs in stirrups (not at all what I wanted, but who has the extra energy to fight about it?). They explain how they want me to push. Here we go! I pushed on average about twice per contraction. They wanted three pushes, but I said no. They wanted me to hold my breath for ten seconds. I usually lasted 4-6. But the minute or so between pushing was amazing. I could almost breathe again. In between contractions I was explaining what I wanted to the doctor. ¨Jairo wants to cut the cord.¨ ¨Wait to cut the cord until it is done pulsing.¨ ¨I want to hold her while you clean her off.¨ I pushed through maybe 6 or 7 contractions. Then I felt it, she was crowning. I pushed all three times. I held it all ten seconds. She was almost out. I kept pushing after they said to rest. And then her head was out. I heard Jairo telling me he saw her. (I couldn´t yet.) She was face-up, like Bella, they told me later. (¨Good thing,¨ said the nurse, ¨otherwise the resident probably wouldn´t have made it either!¨) The doctor was telling me to push out the shoulder, then the other shoulder. They gave her to me. I was so relieved. And in so much pain.<br />
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She looked so tiny. I thought, maybe 7 pounds?? They laid her skin to skin with me. She lifted her head right up and looked at me. I told her, ¨Look how strong you are! You shouldn´t be able to do that!¨ We cuddled forever and ever. The cord stopped pulsing and Jairo cut it. I delivered the placenta and they went to town trying to sew me up. They ended up moving us to a different room, because apparently triage rooms are not the best-lit places. They took a good 45 minutes to sew me up. They asked if they could take the baby to weigh her. I said yes, although I didn´t want to give her up. The nurse called out, ¨9 pounds, 2 ounces¨ and Jairo and I both said, ¨What???¨<br />
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I was trying to decide if she was Jane or Charlotte. I decided that Jane was a better fit for her first name. It means ¨God is gracious¨, which I felt was a good reflection of my birth experience. I called to Jairo, who was over with the baby while she got weighed, ¨Jairo, I think she is Jane.¨ He said, ¨I was just going to tell you the same thing.¨<br />
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During labor I was so hot and thirsty, but once I delivered I was shaking uncontrollably and so cold. I had absolutely no strength left in my body. Recovery has been much harder this time. But Jane is a constant comfort to me. She is barely four days old and this morning she woke up laughing. She smiles at me all the time. She loves to sleep in my arms and nurses like a champ. She absolutely hates getting her diaper changed and getting a bath, but she must love the way she feels after a bath because she gets super awake and content. I remember, as she was lying there with me on the delivery bed, cuddling with me, we were both so calm, and I thought this just felt so natural, so right. She always belonged with us. She was always a part of our family. And God really is gracious.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5098832407748188958.post-26327984527587848272013-04-01T06:00:00.000-06:002013-04-01T06:00:14.952-06:00Get-through-your-Monday Girl Time - SuperMom Tiffany NardoniHappy Monday once again! I´m glad to have you back! This week´s interview is a last-minute addition that I am so excited to share with you! Not only does this SuperMom inspire me, she is also one of my most treasured friends! She has experiences more pain and loss than most moms, I think, but in walking through all of those experiences with her Savior at her side, it´s evident that she has also learned how to treasure those small moments of pure happiness better than most as well. I hope her example is an inspiration to you, just like it is to me. You can read more from Tiffany at her blog <a href="http://tiffany-adventuresofastayathomemom.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">here</a>.<br />
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Enjoy!<br />
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-Ashley<br />
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<i><u>Tell us a little bit about yourself. Who are you? </u></i><br />
I’m Tiffany Nardoni, Christ-following, wife and mom <br />
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<u><i>Tell us about your family. </i></u><br />
Jeff and I have been married for 9 years. We love our family! We love being together. We homeschool, we’re very involved with our church and community. We have lots of amazing friends and family close by. We are very blessed. <br />
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<u><i>How many children do you have, and what are their ages? </i></u><br />
Ava is 4 ½, Liam is 1 ½. Our oldest son, Thao, went to be with Jesus when he was 5 ½ (January 13, 2012). We have 3 more precious babies in heaven that we lost during pregnancy. <br />
We are in the process of adding to our family through adoption in Africa.<br />
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<u><i>This is an interview about motherhood, but your motherhood is shaped a lot by your marriage. How would you describe your relationship with your husband? </i></u><br />
We make a great team! We definitely balance each others strengths and weaknesses. We are best friends. Spending time together is a priority, but we’ve learned quality is more important than quantity. <br />
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<u><i>What is the hardest thing about being married? </i></u><br />
I love being married. We’ve been through a lot with our children, losing Thao and the miscarriages, but through the grace of God we can survive these trials and live moment by moment. <br />
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<u><i>What is the best thing about being married? </i></u><br />
Walking through life with my best friend<br />
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<u><i>Describe a memory between you and your husband that really stands out in your mind. </i></u><br />
There are so many…of course all the “big” events like the births of our children, birthdays, etc. But I think one of the memories that stands out to me the most is at our son’s funeral, having the privilege of being onstage with Jeff while he led worship. It was an amazing experience for me, to praise my God with my husband, through the biggest storm we’ve had in our journey. <br />
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<u><i>How did your relationship with your husband change when you became parents? </i></u><br />
It didn’t change too much when we had Thao because whatever we did, he just did with us. But adding our second child changed things a little more, we were busier with 2 kids so close in age. We quickly learned that family time was very important to us (and them!) and our “alone” time was more about quality time rather than quantity time. Wouldn’t change it for the world! <br />
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<u><i>How does your parenting style compare with your husband´s? </i></u><br />
We are pretty similar with our parenting styles. It has changed over the years as we grow in Christ, as we grow with our children, as we learn and as we understand each child’s unique needs and personality. <br />
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<u><i>In what ways have you changed since you became a mother? </i></u><br />
I’ve learned to let more go, the towels don’t have to be so neatly place in the cabinet, the floors aren’t quite as clean and sometimes we just have to stop and snuggle. Life is too short to pass up the snuggles. The laundry will always be there but our children will not. <br />
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<u><i>Describe a memory of pregnancy that stands out to you. </i></u><br />
I loved being pregnant! I was always sad when it was over, but of course, excited to hold that sweet baby. <br />
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<u><i>Describe a memory of your first weeks of motherhood that stands out to you.</i></u><br />
I did not want to share. I didn’t want a lot of visitors, I wanted quiet time with my family. It was so precious to me, a dream come true. I was thankful that I was breast feeding so I didn’t have to share very much. <br />
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<u><i>If you have multiple children, in what ways are they similar to each other and in what ways are they different?</i></u><br />
Thao was an observer, he processed and analyzed. He was thoughtful and strong willed. He was very responsible. He loved to have conversations. He was gentle and kind. He was very routine-oriented and adventurous. <br />
Ava is more of a free spirit. She is laid back and just goes with the flow. She is joyful, always smiling. She is girly, yet has a little bit of an adventurous side (maybe because she has brothers?!) She is outgoing. She loves being with friends and helping with babies. <br />
Liam is all boy. He’s the classic kid. He’s the kid toys were made for. He is adventurous, snuggly and funny. He absolutely loves to tease his sister. He is mischievous but not strong willed like Thao was. He’s shy and sweet. <br />
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<u><i>In what ways are your children similar to you? In what ways are they different from you? </i></u><br />
They have all been such a combination of both Jeff and I! I wouldn’t even know where to start…<br />
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<u><i>For each of your children, share one of your favorite memories.</i></u><br />
Thao- we spent a lot of time baking together<br />
Ava- playing pretend…all day, every day<br />
Liam- those rare moments when he just wants to sit on my lap and snuggle<br />
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<u><i>Describe a moment as a mother where you felt overwhelmed.</i></u><br />
Ha! I have these probably once a day. Then I remember the purpose in my life, and I pray that God helps me through that moment. <br />
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<u><i>What are your favorite ways to relax when you need a little break? </i></u><br />
Cleaning in a quiet house, hanging out with Jeff after the kids are in bed, watching my favorite show<br />
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<u><i>What has been the hardest lesson you have had to learn as a mother? </i></u><br />
How to forgive myself for mistakes I’ve made<br />
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<u><i>What has been the hardest experience you have gone through as a mother? What did that experience teach you? </i></u><br />
Losing Thao. I’ve had to learn to depend on Christ not for tomorrow, but for this moment. It’s overwhelming to think of tomorrow or the next day, I don’t have to try to understand how I’m going to do it, I just have to choose Christ and He gets me through. <br />
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<u><i>What do you think is the most important quality in a mother? </i></u><br />
A passion to follow Christ<br />
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<u><i>What do you think children need most from their mothers? </i></u><br />
An example of a transparent, real relationship with Christ and others. <br />
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<u><i>What advice would you give to other mothers out there who are reading this interview? </i></u><br />
Every family is unique, every child is special. God gives us the wisdom and grace to raise our children, run our family and live our lives the way he wants us to. We have to trust Him to guide us. He loves our children even more than we do. Your family probably won’t look like mine, but that’s okay. God made us all unique as mothers, too. <br />
<u><i><br />Do you have any tips or tricks that have helped you stay organized, run your household or raise your kids more effectively? </i></u><br />
Um, yes. Sorta. I’m still learning but you can check out my <a href="http://tiffany-adventuresofastayathomemom.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">blog. </a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5098832407748188958.post-41891942655495952292013-03-25T06:00:00.000-06:002013-03-25T06:00:03.002-06:00Get-through-your.Monday Girl Time - SuperMom Jeanne GantTell the truth...you actually look forward to Mondays now, because you can´t wait to read the latest mommy interview, right?? Well, maybe that´s a <i>slight</i> exaggeration, but I know these interviews have been an encouragement to me, and a lot of you have told me the same thing! Today´s interview is another great one, from a mommy that I really admire! We have known each other since we were both freshmen in high school and I have watched Jeanne grow from a crazy, slightly hyperactive teen (haha) into a truly inspirational woman and mother! I think you will really enjoy her perspective on life, forgiveness and letting go!<br />
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Enjoy!<br />
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-Ashley<br />
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PS- Don´t forget to leave comments for our mommies!!<br />
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<u><i>Tell us a little bit about yourself. Who are you?</i></u><br />My name is Jeanne, I am a full time single mom, a full time student, and a full time busy person in general. I am currently going to school for microbiology, I love science, and have recently been very interested in chromosomal research. This interest was sparked by my special needs daughter who has a chromosome disorder. She is my drive and motivation to learn the most I can from school in hopes to one day be able to apply myself in laboratory research. Being a single mom and a student I tend to have a constant, busy schedule, but in my free time I enjoy creating recipes, painting and crafting, and I always find one day a week to unwind with my friends (this is the key to my sanity). I have been through a lot of struggles these past two years, but no matter how tough things may be at times, I always try to keep a good sense of humor along with a forgiving attitude. I have learned that anger and resentment don’t solve your problems, or make you feel any better about them, so laugh it off, and keep chugging along.<br /><br /><u><i>Tell us about your family. </i></u><br />My family consists of my daughter Sophia, our two dogs, my mother, and my father. I have been very blessed with parents who have taken us all in during these busy, difficult times. In May 2010, my husband and I separated, and we are now going through a difficult divorce. During all this I discovered there was something not quite right with my daughter, Sophia. She was delayed in all areas, and she had frequent muscle spasms. In 2011, I discovered my daughter had the chromosome disorder trisomy x, the mosaic form. Trisomy x is when a woman is born with an extra x chromosome, and the mosaic form is when some of the cells have three x chromosomes, while the rest have the normal two. This mosaic form is very rare, and doctors aren’t quite sure why she has such severe symptoms. I have definitely become a much stronger person having to deal with so many things put on my plate at one time. I am very grateful for my parents, and the rest of my support system who has helped keep me sane through this journey. The thing I am most grateful for is my daughter, Sophia, who has the prettiest smile, the best laugh, and who has proven to be one tough cookie through all this. She inspires me to let the little things go, and to always keep a smile on.<br /><br /><u><i>How many children do you have, and what are their ages?</i></u><br />Sophia is my only child, and she is 3 years old. <br /><br /><u><i>This is an interview about motherhood, but your motherhood is shaped a lot by your marriage. How would you describe your relationship with your husband?</i></u><br />Like I mentioned before I am going through a divorce, so my marriage is not a very good one. I got married when I was 19, and married someone I realized I didn’t really know. It was a very rough time with a lot of emotional battles. I have learned so much from this journey, I have a new self-respect that I did not have before, and I have learned how to be truly happy on my own. I used to think life isn’t complete until a woman gets married and has children; this caused me to rush into marriage at an early age. I do not regret getting married, and now getting divorced; I am glad I have discovered who I am through this journey. I am now satisfied being alone, because I no longer feel lonely. I enjoy my independence, take pride in the things I can accomplish on my own, and now love the person I have become. I also wouldn’t have my giggly little girl in my life if I hadn’t gotten married.<br /><br /><u><i>What is the hardest thing about being married? </i></u><br />Keeping track of each other’s spendings. If one or both of you aren’t keeping track of the money you spend, then you will probably have many unpleasant arguments about over-drafting the account. I don’t think this was necessarily the hardest thing, but I think it is something a lot of married couples don’t take into account until it’s already a problem. If you can keep the small things as drama free as possible, then you are less likely to get as distressed over the bigger problems.<br /><br /><u><i>How did your relationship with your husband change when you became parents?</i></u><br />Unfortunately my ex-husband has made the choice to not be a part of our daughter’s life, so our relationship is virtually nonexistent as this point. <br /><br /><u><i>In what ways have you changed since you became a mother?</i></u><br />Before I became a mother I wasn’t very organized, I was more materialistic, I took for granted all the free time I had, and I relied on my mother to make appointments for me. Once I became a mother, or actually when I became pregnant, a clean freak switch turned on inside of me. I now hate for my house to be cluttered or disorganized. I laugh at myself thinking about how my room used to be completely covered in clothes, and now I hang up my clothes in sections according to type, and my undershirts are arranged in color coordinated rows. I also have become a queen of clearance, whereas before I used to buy whatever I wanted without worrying about the price. I don’t care about name brands, or looking super fancy anymore. Wearing yoga pants with a jersey knit cardigan is fancy in my book, and there’s no way you can convince me otherwise. As a busy mom I now cherish every quiet moment I have to myself, I love going to the store and spending extra time really looking over all the cereal. As parents we learn to sacrifice a lot: style, taking a shower daily, sleep, and a little bit of our sanity. We no longer care if we look or feel perfect, as long as our children do.<br /><br /><u><i>Describe a memory of pregnancy that stands out to you.</i></u><br />My favorite moment was when I first felt Phia kick. I had just finished eating when I felt a little gurgle feeling in my tummy. I assumed it was just my stomach digesting the food I had just eaten, but then I felt it again, so I put my hands on my tummy, and I could feel the little flutters she was making. I fell in love with those little kicks; I sat around for hours with my hands on my belly singing songs to my little kick boxer. <br /><br /><u><i>Describe a memory of your first weeks of motherhood that stands out to you.</i></u><br />There are so many good memories of the first week I brought my little bug home, but I think one of my favorites was when I gave her her first sponge bath. It was so funny to see her squirm and move around; it looked like she was trying to dance. When we were all done I took a picture of her in her ladybug towel, and she puckered her lips like she was blowing me a kiss. It was so cute, and I just remember feeling so happy finally, after 37 long weeks, to have my baby girl all to myself.<br /><br /><u><i>What things do you think you would do differently if you had another child in the future?</i></u><br />I would do a better job at setting up sensory and motor skill activities for my child to do. Since my daughter was quite delayed in developmental skills, I got discouraged that she couldn’t do those motor activities, so we didn’t do the learning play as much as I wish we would have. Next time around I want to create an activity game plan before my baby arrives, because once you bring home baby, creating these activities are not on the top of your list anymore.<br /><br /><u><i>Describe your child´s personality.</i></u><br />Sophie was a very happy, easy going baby. She would smile and giggle all the time. Even though we later found out about her development delays, I still felt so blessed to have such a giggly, smiley baby. She still has a very goofy, happy personality. She is constantly smiling and laughing at everything. She loves to interact with others, but also enjoys going to a quiet part of the house, and just playing by herself. One thing I am grateful for is that Sophie never went through the “stranger danger” phase; she falls in love with anyone around her. She enjoys dancing, and now that she is able to walk, she loves racing around, and playing chase. This sweet little girl also has a sour side, though. She laughs when she does something she knows she is not supposed to, like pull the dog’s tail, and she thinks that is hilarious. She also has her moments you tell her no, and she throws a fit, making it very clear she is not a fan of you at that moment. Overall, though, she is one very happy, loving child. Sometimes I get sad for her that she is farther behind then kids her age, but then I look at how happy she is, and realize she doesn’t let those issues slow her down. She really brings a lot of laughter and joy to my life, and I am happy that God blessed me with such a giggly girl.<br /><br /><u><i>In what ways are your children similar to you? In what ways are they different from you?</i></u><br />We are both very goofy, we love to dance all silly, and enjoy making people laugh. When I was a child I hated having my hair combed, which is something that my daughter also does not enjoy one bit either. She is always hiding things, which I also did a lot as a child. I now understand the pain behind digging through laundry baskets, the trash, and the dog food bin to find things like my mother use to have to do when I was a child. Something odd we both have in common is we both like to play in a dark closet. Well I don’t enjoy this anymore, but as a kid my parent’s closet was one of my favorite places to play. Now my parent’s closet has once again been claimed as a play spot, but this time by my daughter. We are also both left handed. <br />A difference is she does not like having anyone touch her hands or feet, whereas I use to find it hysterical when my sister would pop my toes. I know, I was a strange kid. Also she is not a picky eater at all, and I was the pickiest eater as a child. Luckily I am the complete opposite now, so hopefully she won’t switch to the opposite when she is older. <br /><br /><u><i>For each of your children, share one of your favorite memories.</i></u><br />When she was finally able to walk on her own. It was 3 months before she turned three when she got leg braces, within a few days she was able to take a few steps, after a few weeks she could walk across the living room, and after a month she was able to walk fairly well. It was such a joyful moment for me, because seeing her crawl around while the other children ran around just broke my heart. She wanted to walk so badly, but had problems crisscrossing her legs. I couldn’t believe how fast she was able to walk with the braces, and she didn’t even have to keep wearing them much longer after she was able to walk on her own. She now runs so fast, and has pretty good balance. I was and am so proud of how far she has come in just 6 months.<br /><br /><u><i>Describe a moment as a mother where you felt overwhelmed.</i></u><br />My daughter took forever to sleep through the night; she was close to 3, I think. She has always had issues with muscle spasms, and they would come when she was sleeping, because her muscles were less active. When she was two she went through a phase where she would be awake from 2-4:30 every night. Oh man that was horrible! I was in school, and I was so overly exhausted, and felt like there was no way I could make it through the entire day without having an emotional breakdown. My mom would help me out with the night shifts, and we were both grumpy and tired as could be. Muscle medicine didn’t really help, so finally her doctor put her on Benadryl. She slept through the night the rest of that week, and I remember being on the verge of tears, because I was so happy my giant toddler finally slept like a normal child. <br /><br /><u><i>What are your favorite ways to relax when you need a little break?</i></u><br />Believe it or not I love to go grocery shopping. I love creating recipes, and trying new foods, so the grocery store is my outlet to relaxation. I also get one day a week where my parents will watch Sophie for the night, and I have the freedom to go do whatever. I usually hang out with my friends every Friday, and I really enjoy getting this social time with them.<br /><br /><u><i>What has been the hardest lesson you have had to learn as a mother?</i></u><br />My daughter’s father was very verbally abusive to me, and has chosen not to be a part of Sophie’s life. I can’t even describe the anger I had built up towards him, I could not believe someone could so easily detach themselves from their own child so easily. I used to spend hours dwelling on this, asking God why he would let this situation happen to me. He would always tear me down, and showed no concern for our daughter while she was going through all her medical issues. It broke my heart that he did not want to help raise such a wonderful, happy girl. I hated him for this, and once he started to help raising his girlfriend’s child, I honestly wished he would just die. I let the anger build up, until one day I realized how unhappy and stressed it was all making me. It wasn’t worth it, he wasn’t worth it. All these bad thoughts towards him and all the anger weren’t changing anything. It wasn’t affecting his life at all, just making mine tougher. This past December I finally decided to let go of all the anger, to forgive him for the choices he has made, and to focus that wasted time and energy on positive things. I am much happier now, and wish I would have been able to let go much sooner. <br /><br /><u><i>What has been the hardest experience you have gone through as a mother? What did that experience teach you?</i></u><br />My ex-husband was in the navy, and has never been a part of my daughter’s life. Having to go through the discovery of Sophie’s medical issues all on my own was really tough. The constant doctor visits, all the tests they had to run, taking her to see 4 different therapists a week; it was really emotionally draining doing that alone. I shouldn’t say I was alone, though, because I was blessed to have my mother’s help, but I felt guilty that she had to put so much of her time and efforts trying to fill in his spot. I have now learned to adapt to how things are, but in the beginning it was all very overwhelming.<br /><br /><u><i>Looking back on your life as a mother, what, if anything, do you regret?</i></u><br />I regret holding onto the anger I had towards my ex-husband for so long, and letting that anger come out towards the people I love the most. One thing that happened often was I would yell, and throw a tantrum when I couldn’t find something. Yes, it’s silly, but I wish I would have been a better example for my daughter. <br /><br /><u><i>What do you think is the most important quality in a mother?</i></u><br />Patience and a good sense of humor.<br /><br /><u><i>What do you think children need most from their mothers?</i></u><br />Unconditional love is most important for your child; this is like food for their soul. <br /><br /><u><i>What advice would you give to other mothers out there who are reading this interview?</i></u><br />Let go of the anger and negativity you may have towards a situation, and focus on any and every positive thing going on in your life. Be silly with your kids, nothing lifts your spirits like when your child laughs at something funny you are doing. And set a specific time every week that is devoted just for you, even if it’s just to go to the store by yourself; every parent needs that “me time” to unwind.<br /><br /><u><i>Do you have any tips or tricks that have helped you stay organized, run your household or raise your kids more effectively? </i></u><br />
<ul>
<li>Wash dishes while you are waiting on dinner to finish cooking. Less mess means less stress.</li>
<li>Keep a grocery list on the fridge that you can easily write down things you need while you are thinking about them. </li>
<li>I take 15-30 minutes every night to straighten up the house, so when the weekend comes I have more free time.</li>
</ul>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5098832407748188958.post-60585441472191421242013-03-18T06:00:00.000-06:002013-03-18T06:00:02.063-06:00Get-through-your-Monday Girl Time- SuperMom Gretchen CastroIt´s Monday, girlies! And you know what that means....Get-through-your-Monday Girl Time!! So grab your coffee (or whatever!) and I will fill you in on today´s interview from my friend Gretchen. Gretchen is one of my closest friends, which is funny because we have only met in person once! We had a lot of mutual friends, and were both pregnant at the same time. Near the end we both had some tough experiences and were desperate for the Big Day. As we waited, we wrote each other messages back and forth on Facebook in one of those instant friendships that only motherhood (or impending motherhood) can form. Our due dates were both in May, but not too close together, but in an interesting turn of events, both of our babies were born on the same day. That sealed the deal, and we have been friends ever since, going through all of motherhood´s happy little stages together, and providing each other with moral support and some much-needed comic relief! Now I turn it over to Gretchen and her interview, which I totally relate to (obvious.) and I think you will, too. Enjoy!<br />
<br />
-Ashley<br />
<br />
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<br />
<u><i>Tell us a little bit about yourself. Who are you?</i></u><br />
I am Gretchen, daughter of God, wife, mother, sister, friend, and graduate (from Central Christian College of the Bible).<br />
<br />
<u><i>Tell us about your family. </i></u><br />
I am married to the most wonderful man I know, Luis, who is from Guayaquil, Ecuador, and my son is Jaden who just turned 2. My husband and I have been married since July 4, 2008 and when our son was almost 6 months old, we were able to travel to Ecuador and bring daddy home with us. <br />
<br />
<u><i>How many children do you have, and what are their ages?</i></u><br />
I have one child for now and he turned 2 in May. (Update: Gretchen is now pregnant with another boy and is due May 20th!)<br />
<br />
<u><i>This is an interview about motherhood, but your motherhood is shaped a lot by your marriage. How would you describe your relationship with your husband?</i></u><br />
Our relationship is relaxed and fun, we are comfortable with each other. We challenge each other in many ways and bring out the best in one another. Even when one is upset with the other, we are quick to forgive and forget. Our idea of relaxing is spending time with our family. <br />
<br />
<u><i>What is the hardest thing about being married?</i></u><br />
The hardest thing about being married is remember that you are not the only one you have to think about before you do something, you have a family to take into account and they are an important part of the decisions. <br />
<br />
<u><i>What is the best thing about being married?</i></u><br />
The best thing about being married is having someone to come home to, who loves you no matter what and will help you through any trial or struggle you face. You always have someone in your corner.<br />
<br />
<u><i>Describe a memory between you and your husband that really stands out in your mind.</i></u><br />
This isn't really a specific memory but this is what comes to mind.<br />
<br />
We are really bad a keeping secrets. Every time we plan to do something special for each other, we end up spoiling the surprise or doing it way before we had planned because we can't hide it. We have way more fun together spoiling our surprises than anything else. <br />
<br />
<u><i>How did your relationship with your husband change when you became parents?</i></u><br />
Our relationship became more family focused, we would rather be at home with Jaden than going out for the evening and leaving him at home with someone else. We both love our son more than we could ever have imagined and we got to know a new side of each other as we adjusted to being parents together. <br />
<br />
<u><i>How does your parenting style compare with your husband´s?</i></u><br />
I am always looking for new activities and things to keep Jaden busy, my husband is more relaxed and if he likes what he is doing why try to find something else? He is more stern and expects obedience, but I have a hard time disciplining and I am easily won over with a winning smile and a hug or a kiss. <br />
<br />
<u><i>In what ways have you changed since you became a mother?</i></u><br />
I have become more crafty, I never sewed or tried to do things on my own. Now I feel more empowered to do for myself and save money anywhere I can. I am also more compassionate and have more patience than before. <br />
<br />
<u><i>Describe a memory of pregnancy that stands out to you.</i></u><br />
I had a miserable pregnancy, my morning sickness lasted forever, I was exhausted and uncomfortable all the time, I was huge for months and I had lots of little things like a painful rash all over my back, difficulty with my hips, etc. I did love feeling him move though, it was really exciting and made it all worth it.<br />
<br />
<u><i>Describe a memory of your first weeks of motherhood that stands out to you.</i></u><br />
I loved being my son´s favorite person, being the only one who could comfort him and nursing, even though it, too, was painful and caused me a lot of trouble, it was worth the special bond with my child. <br />
<br />
<u><i>What things do you think you would do differently if you had another child in the future?</i></u><br />
I think in the future I would incorporate a lot more bible stories and singing from early on. Its hard to know how to incorporate Jesus into your child's life when they are trying to learn so many other things. I think incorporating it since birth would be a better way to go. I would also go about discipline in a different way, it’s hard but it’s for the best. When they are little it’s hard to get your point across but there has to be a good way out there. <br />
<br />
<u><i>Describe your child´s personality.</i></u><br />
We always say that Jaden is “all boy”. He is definitely full of energy, fun-loving, affectionate, happy, and crazy. He loves to wrestle and tackle his father and play outside. <br />
<br />
<u><i>In what ways are your children similar to you? In what ways are they different from you?</i></u><br />
Jaden sleeps like me, he tosses and turns and it takes him forever to get comfortable so he can sleep. He also has a lot of the same mannerisms. He loves books and playing in the rain and he loves to snuggle. All of which he has in common with me! He is different in his love of spending hours outside, he is very physical and I am definitely not, I would much rather curl up with a book inside. He also loves meat, when he is willing to eat it, and I hate meat. <br />
<br />
<u><i>For each of your children, share one of your favorite memories.</i></u><br />
One of the things I love most about Jaden is watching him run to his father and yell daddy every time he comes home and watching the joy on his face as he plays with his dad. He is so happy and in his element rough-housing with Luis. <br />
<br />
<u><i>Describe a moment as a mother where you felt overwhelmed.</i></u><br />
Trying to get Jaden to eat healthy and be healthy. He had very low iron several months ago and when we checked it about a month ago it still wasn't where it needed to be. I feel overwhelmed trying to force him to eat something when he doesn't want to. I also felt very overwhelmed with potty training, it went well for a couple days then he decided he wasn't ready so we quit, it was a very stressful, frustrating time. We will try again in a few weeks. (Update: Jaden is now fully potty trained! Good job hanging in there, Gretchen!)<br />
<br />
<u><i>What are your favorite ways to relax when you need a little break?</i></u><br />
I love to relax reading my Bible and listening to worship music (and singing along) on my ipod, it helps me get away from it all and re-focus. I also love to sit down and read a good book, or watch a movie with my family. <br />
<br />
<u><i>What has been the hardest lesson you have had to learn as a mother?</i></u><br />
The hardest lesson to learn is that I don't have to take everyone's advice and opinions to heart. Not everything others say is helpful. I have to do what is best for my child and myself and let everyone else worry about themselves. You can't ever please everyone and you have to be ok with that. <br />
<br />
<u><i>What has been the hardest experience you have gone through as a mother? What did that experience teach you?</i></u><br />
Probably the hardest experience was right after Jaden was born, we found out he had a sacral dimple at the base of his spine. It was sealed but it was a scary day waiting to see if anything would happen, if it leaked it would have meant a lot of medical issues and serious problems for my brand new baby. It taught me that it’s all in God's hands, to take one day at a time, and that God's grace is sufficient. <br />
<br />
<u><i>Looking back on your life as a mother, what, if anything, do you regret?</i></u><br />
I don't have a lot to regret, but I do regret letting the advice and opinions of others have such an effect on my parenting. I felt that I had to do things the same way others did or wanted me to and now I resent that. I know my child and our relationship better than anyone else and I need to do what is best for us. <br />
<br />
<u><i>What do you think is the most important quality in a mother?</i></u><br />
I think the most important quality in a mother is love. Love should be the basis for everything we do in parenting. Everything else will be fine if we base it in love. <br />
<br />
<u><i>What do you think children need most from their mothers?</i></u><br />
Children need love and an example of Jesus from us. Jesus needs to come first and our children should see that. <br />
<br />
<u><i>What advice would you give to other mothers out there who are reading this interview?</i></u><br />
Don't let anyone else control you or make you feel bad because you don't do things the way they want you to. Pray and think before you act. Stop and ask yourself, will I regret this later? Are my actions based in the love of Jesus? Then do what you need to do. <br />
<br />
<u><i>Do you have any tips or tricks that have helped you stay organized, run your household or raise your kids more effectively?</i></u><br />
Make a cleaning schedule, choose a day of the week to clean each room and clean it well. Use a planner or calendar to keep track of special dates, when bills are due, appointments, etc. It helps even to look back on when things happen. I don't always have time to write in Jaden's baby book or journal but I jot it down in my planner so I can go back and write about it later. <i><br /></i>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5098832407748188958.post-47714102485166256562013-03-11T06:00:00.000-06:002013-03-11T06:00:01.970-06:00Get-through-your-Monday Girl Time - SuperMom Catherine Allison<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<![endif]-->Hello, Monday friends! I´m glad to have you back for another round of Get-through-your-Monday Girl Time! Today I am sharing one of my best friends with you, so you should feel very lucky! I have known this sweet lady since we were in high school together, and we have shared our lives since then, sometimes during sleepovers and soccer practice, and sometimes through facebook chat prayer requests from 3,000 miles away. Catherine, or Cathy as I know her, is a wonderful woman of God who strives to be the best she can be for her family, and she is a great encouragement to me! I hope you find her sweet, bubbly personality an encouragement as well! You can also read more from Cathy at her blog <a href="http://www.catherineallison.com/Home.html" target="_blank">here</a>. Enjoy!<br />
Ashley<br />
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<br /><i><u>Tell us a little bit about yourself. Who are you?</u></i><br />
Hello! My name is Catherine Allison. I am a blessed wife to an amazing husband, a happy mama to 2 beautiful children, and a saved woman by God’s grace. I was adopted at the age of 13, baptized at 16, married my best friend at the age of 21, and had my first child at the age of 23. My life has been one joyous and adventurous ride that I wouldn’t change for anything!<br />
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<u><i>Tell us about your family. </i></u><br />
I married my best friend/high school sweetheart my sophomore year in college. It was a beautiful happy day when we became Man and Wife! There were many happy tears shed that day! My husband is the worship leader at the church we attend along with serving as a Deacon. His job consists of him filming, producing and writing commercials for cable television. I stay home loving on my precious family, teaching them God’s beautiful truths, and serving my husband. I also teach the toddler Sunday school at our church. We have 2 children: J and E. J is 3, and E is 6 months. We strive to love Jesus together as a family, and we make it our goal to portray the gospel by the way we love and serve one another through our family.<br />
How many children do you have, and what are their ages?<br />
We have 2 children: J and E. J is 3, and E is 6 months.<br />
<br />
<u><i>This is an interview about motherhood, but your motherhood is shaped a lot by your marriage. How would you describe your relationship with your husband?</i></u><br />
My relationship with my husband is based on grace. We love each other completely, and strive every day to serve one another the best we know how by God’s grace. We always look for ways to encourage each other, pray with each other, and speak God’s word into each other’s lives. We have been married for 5 years, and are still madly in love.<br />
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<u><i>What is the hardest thing about being married?</i></u><br />
We are told in the book of Colossians that wives are to be submissive to their husbands, as to the Lord. Ephesians also teaches this doctrine of family. As wives, we are commanded to be submissive and honoring to our husbands. However, we know that the curse on Eve, which was extended to all of God’s creation, would be that woman’s desire would be to rule over her own husband. This has been so true in my marriage at times, and I have had to repent several times because of this. The fact that we are commanded to submit and honor our husband makes it that important to God. This truly is one of the hardest things about being married: Being submissive and honoring to my husband, as is fitting in the Lord.<br />
<br />
<u><i>What is the best thing about being married?</i></u><br />
My husband is my perfect helpmeet. He guides, leads, encourages and prays for his family. He speaks scripture into our lives. The best thing about being married to him is simply just getting to be his wife. I realize this probably sounds cliché, but seriously, I truly am one blessed woman to have him as my husband. He’s my best friend. He’s the man I get to spend all my days with, the man I get to watch raise our children by teaching them the joys of serving the Lord, the man I look forward to coming home to everyday just to chat with, cry with, and laugh with. He is the man I treasure; he is the man I want to make memories with that last a lifetime. I love being married to my best friend! I love that we get to serve the Lord together; that truly is the best thing about being married! <br />
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<u><i>Describe a memory between you and your husband that really stands out in your mind.</i></u><br />
I’ll never forget the moment when my husband became a father. It truly was the most beautiful picture. Watching the doctors place our boy into my husband’s arms, and watching my husband tear up and cheer that he’s a daddy made this Mama cry like a baby. At that moment, I realized I was one blessed woman. This moment is forever etched into my memory, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.<br />
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<u><i>How did your relationship with your husband change when you became parents?</i></u><br />
Since becoming parents, my relationship with my husband has changed for the better. We have learned to be more patient with each other, show more grace to one another, and communicate better. Our love for each other has even deepened. My love and respect for my husband has grown stronger as I have watched him raise and teach our kids the joys of following the Lord. I have become more faithful in honoring and submitting to my husband’s direction and lead in our family as it relates to things like disciplining our children or how we should school our children, etc. My relationship with my husband has changed for the better!<br />
<br />
<u><i>How does your parenting style compare with your husband´s?</i></u><br />
For the most part are parenting styles are pretty similar, and if they are not, we strive to make that happen. This is so that our children learn to respect both parents equally, and so that they can expect the same outcomes from both parents. However, if I were to point out one thing that was different in our parenting styles it would be grace and patience. My husband tends to show more grace and patience with our children than I do. I’m learning to be a mom that’s full of grace, and it’s definitely hard for me. It’s something I pray for everyday!<br />
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<u><i>In what ways have you changed since you became a mother? </i></u><br />
I would say I have definitely realized my need for Jesus more since being a mother. I have also had to rely more on Him for teaching me grace, patience and love. Prayer has become more a part of my life than ever before, and seeking His word has become more of a challenge, but necessary challenge in my life. Pray for me on this one friends and family! Spending time in God’s word and prayer is a necessary tool for living this life, and with children sometimes it can be hard to find time.<br />
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<u><i>Describe a memory of pregnancy that stands out to you.</i></u><br />
For both of my pregnancie it was the first time I felt them move. It was a joy of mine to get to feel them move in my womb. It was more of a real presence for me that I had a baby growing inside me; a baby I was truly grateful to have join our family. <br />
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<u><i>Describe a memory of your first weeks of motherhood that stands out to you.</i></u><br />
Late night feedings was a memory I didn’t expect and enjoy at first. I had such a hard time with this at first. When baby woke up wanting to nurse, I remember thinking to myself, “Please just go back to sleep. Mommy is so tired. I need to sleep.” This was when I realized how selfish of a person I was, putting my needs first before my child’s needs. Don’t get me wrong, I knew I was selfish before, but having a baby magnified it so much more. Now, I just cherish the moments I have with my daughter and son, because I know life is short and precious, and I know our children aren’t babies forever. I am only able to do this of course by God’s grace. It’s through his strength that I am able to love, care for and noursih my children, because without Him I would be a total failure.<br />
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<u><i>In what ways has your parenting style changed with each child? </i></u><br />
Since becoming a mom of two, I think I have become much more relaxed with life in general. I’m not so stir crazy when things go array, and when the house seems like everything is a mess from all the dishes being dirty, six loads of laundry needing to be folded and put away, and children toys, books, games, etc. sporadically tossed (or so it seems) all over the house. <br />
<br />
As far as parenting two children, I think maybe I’ve encouraged more independence in my son, and tried teaching him to do some things on his own more without Mommy’s help. I have also seen myself relax more with him. I am not so uptight when his room is a mess; the house is a mess due to his messy concoctions, game playing, etc, and when he gets super dirty from painting, playing outside, etc. Overall, I would like to say I am more fun to be around now!<br />
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<i><u>In what ways are your children similar to each other and in what ways are they different? </u></i><br />
I’m pretty sure my children were twins separated by almost 3 years of life. My son and daughter look identical, and have very similar personalities. Both, so far, were/are easy, easy babies. Neither one of them cry(ied) a lot, had weird sleeping habits, etc. They both were/are very happy babies, and smile and laugh a lot. E is a lot more content by herself than J was being by himself. He didn’t hate it, but he wouldn’t play on his own for more than 10 minutes at a time without getting upset or throwing a fit. E can be left a lone for a long time (close to 30 minutes), and she is happy. We don’t make a habit with leaving E alone, but I do let her jump in her Jumperro for 15-20 minutes in the morning and afternoon while I do some “tot school” with J. She is totally ok with this, too! E also learned to self-soothe at 2-months, so she didn’t need Mommy’s touch/help every time she is/was upset like J did when he was a baby. She is a thumb sucker, and J liked the pacifier. There are definitely pros/cons of both, but man I’m loving that E is a thumb sucker, that’s for sure!<br />
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<u><i>In what ways are your children similar to you? In what ways are they different from you?</i></u><br />
My children are very much like their Dad and me. I would say though that their dramatic behavior when things don’t always go their way is more similar to my behavior, because their father never stresses out or gets upset. It’s pretty incredible how he leads such a stress free life. I pray, by God’s grace, I am able to do that this year. Both of my children are/were easy babies, and for the most part my husband and I were as well. My children are happy and cheerful most of the time, and I’d like to say the same goes for my husband and me. Both of my children are also very athletic, and their father and I were in high school. We still play sports occasionally, but we’re so out of shape, so it’s not often that we do. Lord willing, this will be changing in the New Year! My son is musically talented. This he gets from his father, and not from me. My son is also a very organized toddler. This he gets from me. I think it’s because I taught him to be that way at such a young age…haha!<br />
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<u><i>For each of your children, share one of your favorite memories.</i></u><br />
There are always too many favorite memories to list from your child’s life, so I’ll pick out a few:<br />
For J one of my favorite memories was when he first started walking, and he toddled over to me with a big smile on his face, gave me the biggest hug, and then promptly kissed me (snot and all) on my cheek. It was gross, but I loved every minute of it. <br />
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Hearing him say, “I wuv you, Mommy,” for the first time is something I will never forget.<br />
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Hearing his first cry the day he was born is something I can’t explain, nor do I think anyone can explain. It did something to me. I will forever hold on to that memory so etched into my brain.<br />
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Seeing my husband became a father for the first time was definitely a favorite memory. Watching him carry his son, J, out to meet his family for the first time is a memory I’ll never forget.<br />
<br />
For E it was her first cry, her first smile, and her first sneeze. It was seeing her Daddy totally smitten by her. Babies are simply adorable and loving, and she is by far one of the most loving and happiest babies I have ever known. She provides lots of joy in our family! We are so thankful God blessed us with her!<br />
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<u><i>Describe a moment as a mother where you felt overwhelmed.</i></u><br />
Again. There have been, and will probably be several more moments where I feel completely overwhelmed and not adequate enough to be a mother, which bare with me on this one, I’m not adequate to be a mother, and life isn’t going to be easy-especially for those who belong to Christ. It is only be God’s grace that I’m able to love, care for, teach and nurture my children. Without God in my life, I wouldn’t be the mother I am today, and my family wouldn’t be the family they are today, because apart from Him we are nothing. It is by His grace, His son’s blood on the cross, and His victory over Satan that I can stand and be a good mom. It is through His strength that I can overcome the hardships and trials as a mother. It’s because of Him that when my son was diagnosed with a severe peanut and milk allergy I was able to believe and trust in His word and promise that He’s a good God. His plans are perfect. That somehow these allergies would bring Him glory. So yes, I’ve been overwhelmed many times, and yes, there are some that stand out more than others (like J’s constant battle with peanut and milk allergies), but I rest assured in His promises that He’s a good God, His plans are perfect, and He will redeem His people! Praise God for that! I look forward to His return when all pain, suffering, sickness and death will be vanquished! Come Lord Jesus!<br />
<br />
<u><i>What are your favorite ways to relax when you need a little break?</i></u><br />
My favorite ways to relax when I need a little break are too many to list, and not enough time for me to get to do them during the day…lol! Anyhow, I love spending time in prayer, God’s word and listening to a sermon or podcast while resting on the couch during the kid’s naps. Most of the time, I fall asleep myself. That is simply fabulous when I get a nap in during the day. I’m not going to lie though about my favorite way to relax. I enjoy sitting on the couch or in my recliner with my feet propped up reading a good book or watching a fabulous television show. Love those rare moments when that happens. I also enjoy shopping, eating chocolate and getting a manicure as a way to relax. Please don’t judge…lol!<br />
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<u><i>What has been the hardest lesson you have had to learn as a mother?</i></u><br />
Patience. I have never been a very patient person (just ask Ashley, she can tell you), and raising a toddler calls for that character quality for sure. I still struggle with this, and pray every day that God would make me more patient, more like Him as He relates to His people. I do know I have developed more patience since becoming a mother, but it’s nowhere perfect or close to where it should be. Praying this changes in my life.<br />
<br />
<u><i>What has been the hardest experience you have gone through as a mother? What did that experience teach you?</i></u><br />
The one that stands out to me the most is my son’s constant battle with severe peanut and milk allergies. If given a drink of milk or one peanut, he can go into anaphylactic shock, which ultimately can kill him. I can’t tell you how many close calls we have had, and how on edge I tend to be when we go new places. This is a battle I hated at first, and was angry with God at first, but now I see how God has used this for His good. He has drawn my family and I closer to Him, He has caused us to be smart and healthy with what we eat, and ultimately, He has turned us into a prayer warrior family. I find myself always praying for my children, for their ultimate healing, which is their salvation, but also for J’s healing with his allergies. If you’re a prayer warrior, then feel free to pray the same.<br />
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<i><u>Looking back on your life as a mother, what, if anything, do you regret?</u></i><br />
I have only been a mother for 3-years, so I don’t feel like there is much too look back on in my mothering life, but what I do know is this that there have been many times where I haven’t been patient and loving to my children. This I regret. I pray to change this. I hope to change this. I long to change this. I want to be like Christ as He is with His people. I want my children to see the love of Jesus in me as I love for, care for, and nurture them. <br />
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<i><u>What do you think is the most important quality in a mother?</u></i><br />
A mother who loves with a Christ like love, prays for her children daily, and devotes her time to her family is something to be admired. One who seeks Jesus in all of life is something to be talked about, and something I pray that I do. A mother who serves her family happily, and rejoices always is important as well!<br />
<br />
<i><u>What do you think children need most from their mothers?</u></i><br />
<b>LOVE</b>, because without love everything is meaningless. (1 Corinthians 13)Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5098832407748188958.post-69205451917966437222013-03-04T06:00:00.000-06:002013-03-04T06:00:10.452-06:00Get-Through-Your-Monday Girl Time - SuperMom Theresa FullerWell, here ya go kids, another wonderful interview for our ¨Get-through-your-Monday Girl Time!¨ I had so much fun reading this interview, and I think you will, too. I remember babysitting Theresa´s first daughter when she was just a toddler, and I was probably in middle school! It´s fun to read about their ups and downs as a family, what it means to grow up, and how to make cleaning the house an adventure! So grab your cup of coffee, or whatever your guilty pleasure is, and take a few minutes out for girl time! Enjoy! <br />
-Ashley<br />
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<u><i>Tell us a little bit about yourself. Who are you?</i></u><br />
I’m Theresa Fuller. I’m a stay-at-home mom and I’m currently working on my Bachelor’s Degree in Healthcare Administration.<br />
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<u><i>Tell us about your family.</i></u><br />
I’ve been married for 9 years to my husband, Stephen. We met in the Army National Guard about ten years ago and fell in love at first sight. Not really, though… Actually he asked me out a bunch of times, I said no a bunch of times, and then my car broke down and he just happened to stop to help me, so I was forced to say yes when he asked me out again. Then, we were a bit careless and a couple months later while he was in Korea I sent him an email, “We need to talk when you get home.” He responded with, “Are you pregnant?” The answer was yes… And that should make the math easier for anyone who starts doing the math on the next question…<br />
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<u><i>How many children do you have, and what are their ages?</i></u><br />
Stephanie, 9 years; Christopher, 8 years; Makenzie, almost 5 years<br />
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<u><i>This is an interview about motherhood, but your motherhood is shaped a lot by your marriage. How would you describe your relationship with your husband?</i></u><br />
We have a lot of fun. We play fight and argue and joke around constantly. People often think we’re arguing, when really we’re just joking around with one another. We enjoy each other´’s company and love laughing at/with each other. When we actually argue, it rarely lasts long. We’ve been through some rough times, especially after his dad died, and I think we both seriously considered divorce for a good year, but we stuck it out and now we’re a lot happier.<br />
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<u><i>What is the hardest thing about being married?</i></u><br />
I think the hardest part for us is disciplining the children together. We both have different ideas on parenting and he’s quick to discipline while I’m quick to just talk to the kids about what they’re doing wrong. I base more importance on communication and he bases more importance on punishment so that they’ll learn from their mistakes.<br />
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<u><i>What is the best thing about being married?</i></u><br />
The best thing about being married is having someone to share things with. Whether something good happens, or something bad happens, he’s always the first one I want to tell.<br />
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<u><i>Describe a memory between you and your husband that really stands out in your mind.</i></u><br />
As I mentioned before, we barely knew each other when I got pregnant. I was 19 years old and we hadn’t seen each other for weeks because he was in Korea. He got back home and I expected him to say he wanted nothing to do with the baby or me. I even thought he might bring up adoption or abortion. I was terrified and thought I was going to have to have my baby and take care of it alone. I was also self-conscious because I was so skinny when I got pregnant that I was starting to show already.<br />
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We went on a date and talked and I don’t remember much of that at all, but afterwards he drove me back to my car. I remember still expecting to never see him again, but before I got into my car he put his arms around me and hugged me. We stood in a parking lot next to my car, under the stars, and he just held me for what seemed like forever. I remember thinking to myself, “Wow, I might be able to fall in love with this guy.” And then I did…<br />
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<u><i>How did your relationship with your husband change when you became parents?</i></u><br />
Since our story isn’t the normal story of love, marriage, babies, we didn’t really know one another very well by the time I had Stephanie. She was born prematurely and was in NICU for a while before she came home on an apnea monitor. Stephen and I were clearly both still kids before she was born, but as soon as she was born we both grew up quite a bit. He woke up with me every 2 hours to go back to the hospital and feed Stephanie, and he made sure I ate enough and took care of myself. We started really relying on each other after Stephanie was born, and I finally realized not only how much I loved him, but how much he loved me. He’d asked me to marry him before, but I had said “no” because I didn’t want him to marry me just because I was pregnant. A week after Stephanie was born, he asked again, and I knew at that point that there was so much more to our relationship than just having a baby together. I said yes and we got married the next day.<br />
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<u><i>How does your parenting style compare with your husband´s?</i></u><br />
If the kids do something wrong, Stephen scolds them or makes them take a time out. I usually start with a warning or a discussion. I’m big on making them discuss their feelings, whereas he doesn’t. He jokes around with the kids more than I do, and they wrestle with each other all the time. He’d rather stay at home and play with the kids or work in the yard with them, but I like to take the kids places and try to avoid being at home with them if the weather’s nice.<br />
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<u><i>In what ways have you changed since you became a mother?</i></u><br />
I’ve become a million times more patient. I’ve changed so much that I don’t really know where to begin, but with each child I’ve become progressively more patient and understanding.<br />
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<u><i>Describe a memory of pregnancy that stands out to you.</i></u><br />
I loved being pregnant, so this is a difficult question to choose just one! Of course, I remember the first time I felt my babies move, and I remember the first time I put Stephen´s hand on my belly so that he could feel them move with each pregnancy… I guess one of my favorite memories is probably listening to Stephen read to my belly. He used to read Oh Baby, the Places You’ll Go to my belly every day. Right before I had Stephanie, he read it again and I cried the whole time.<br />
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<u><i>Describe a memory of your first weeks of motherhood that stands out to you.</i></u><br />
When Stephanie was 28 days old, Stephen deployed. I drove to Ft. McCoy, Wisconsin every single weekend with our tiny, premature newborn to make sure that he got to see her as many times as possible before he went overseas. I was never more than a few feet from Stephanie for the first few months because I couldn’t stand being away from both her and my husband.<br />
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<u><i>In what ways has your parenting style changed with each child?</i></u><br />
I’ve become less nervous about everything. Now I know that a fever is usually nothing to worry about, so I baby my kids and treat them, but I don’t panic. I still keep my kids close, and it still annoys me when I see other kids running free with no parents in sight, but I’ve learned that it’s okay if they climb a tree (not TOO high) and maybe fall and scrape a knee, etc. I’ve just generally allowed each kid to have a little bit more fun because I know that they might get hurt, but they can still play and have fun without getting hurt even if I don’t keep them on a tight leash.<br />
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<u><i>In what ways are they similar to each other and in what ways are they different?</i></u><br />
All three of my kids are very loving. They still randomly give me a hug or a kiss on the cheek and tell me that they love me. Stephanie’s feelings are easily hurt, and she’s quite the drama queen. Sometimes she’ll run off screaming that “nobody loves her,” but she’s quick to smile when I remind her that she’s actually very loved, even when she’s being dramatic. A small scolding is all she needs if she does something wrong. She’s so eager to please. Christopher is stubborn and has a temper. Scolding does little good, but grounding him from his favorite toys keeps him in line when needed. Makenzie is a trouble-maker. She’s quick to shed crocodile tears if she gets caught doing something wrong, and she’s usually the one who starts the arguments. She’s also hilarious. It’s hard to punish her without laughing most of the time.<br />
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All three of my kids are VERY polite. I love it when I receive compliments on their manners/behavior. It reminds me that I’m doing something right, and it makes them feel good about themselves, too!<br />
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<u><i>In what ways are your children similar to you? In what ways are they different from you?</i></u><br />
Remember that drama queen thing? Stephanie gets that from me. Christopher’s temper? That’s his dad. And Makenzie’s trouble-making ability? Also me. I call my mom and apologize weekly.<br />
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<u><i>For each of your children, share one of your favorite memories.</i></u><br />
How do I choose just one? This question has taken me forever because I feel like I make a new favorite memory every week.<br />
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I think for Stephanie, my favorite memory is my wedding. One of the NICU nurses brought Stephanie to the hospital chapel so that she could be there for Stephen and I’s last-minute wedding. I didn’t think she’d be allowed to go, so it was a huge, amazing surprise for me. I’ll always be grateful to that nurse for allowing us that memory.<br />
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Christopher- I think my favorite just happened a couple weeks ago. I took him to Turkey Run with my mother-in-law and his sisters and at the end of a great day (before he’d received a SINGLE present, mind you), he informed me that this was the BEST birthday ever, and told Makenzie that she should go there for her birthday, too.<br />
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Makenzie- I can’t choose a single memory of Makenzie… My favorite general memory about her was when she was a baby. From the time she was born, she was the fussiest, loudest baby. I knew she was my last, though, so I didn’t mind. I cuddled, rocked, patted, walked, soothed, and nursed her with such patience for so many months. I don’t know where I got the patience from, but I don’t remember ever feeling overwhelmed with her like I did with the other two. I enjoyed every single minute of it, even without any sleep.<br />
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<u><i>Describe a moment as a mother where you felt overwhelmed.</i></u><br />
When Stephen got on the bus to deploy, I’ve never felt so overwhelmed. I had this tiny baby, my new husband was going to go overseas, and I was very young. I really can’t describe how difficult it was for me to be strong for Stephanie, or how painful it was to see my husband cry as he told our little girl goodbye.<br />
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<u><i>What are your favorite ways to relax when you need a little break?</i></u><br />
I love a hot bubble bath and a good book. My kids might not have survived this long if not for hot water and books. Okay, they may have SURVIVED, but they might be in cages or something. (Kidding, I swear).<br />
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<u><i>What has been the hardest lesson you have had to learn as a mother?</i></u><br />
I think it’s that babies really DO grow up way too fast. I could elaborate, but I think any mom reading this already understands.<br />
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<u><i>What has been the hardest experience you have gone through as a mother? What did that experience teach you?</i></u><br />
I think this goes back to when Stephen deployed. It taught me that I could do more than I ever thought I could. I could handle more than I knew. It also taught me that things were no longer about me; they were about my baby(ies). I learned to rely on my family, and on my little girl for comfort because I didn’t have to do anything alone. I had other people.<br />
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<u><i>Looking back on your life as a mother, what, if anything, do you regret?</i></u><br />
I regret not getting antidepressants sooner after I had Christopher. I had postpartum depression and I didn’t realize it. Because of that, I barely remember the first 6 months of his life, really. I didn’t enjoy him as much as I should have. To be honest, I didn’t really even like him at first. I loved him, but I didn’t like him. That is my only regret.<br />
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<u><i>What do you think is the most important quality in a mother?</i></u><br />
Patience. If you become frustrated quickly or forget that these little people rely on you to teach them, you miss out on so many chances. Everything can be a learning experience, and with a little patience, everything can be fun.<br />
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<u><i>What do you think children need most from their mothers?</i></u><br />
Love, but that seems obvious.<br />
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<u><i>What advice would you give to other mothers out there who are reading this interview?</i></u><br />
You will make mistakes. So will your kids. Big deal! Learn from them, teach from them, and move on. Love every single minute. A friend of mine has metastatic breast cancer and 2 young girls. She lives every day with the sole purpose of making memories for her kids, and now I do, too. If something happens to me tomorrow, I know my kids will have amazing memories because I’ve helped make them.<br />
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<i><u>Do you have any tips or tricks that have helped you stay organized, run your household or raise your kids more effectively?</u></i><br />
Organized? Ha! I’m horrible with organization in all forms. Lately I’ve developed a policy… If I wake up one day and want to take the kids to the zoo, we go to the zoo. If the laundry isn’t folded, it can wait until we get home. If we stay home to clean the house, I put on loud music and we sing and dance while we clean. Everything should be an adventure. If you can do that with organization, great, but I’m better at doing it all “on the fly.”<br />
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5098832407748188958.post-60229563548573714982013-03-01T21:08:00.000-06:002013-03-01T21:08:50.308-06:00Things You Forget to Remember, ContinuedIf you are a friend of mine on facebook, you probably know that my facebook account exists primarily for the purpose of recording all of the adorable things my daughter says until I can write them down somewhere. Now, I don´t know how much other people really care about reading my daughter´s quotes, but it doesn´t really matter. It´s mostly for me anyway.<br />
<br />
I was amazed at how early she started saying things that I wanted to remember. So in my free moments, I think back to the things she has said that day or in the past few days that were special to me. Sometimes they are funny things, or sometimes they are things that reflect who she is as a person, and those are things that I don´t want to forget. But I will. And every so often there is a moment where I turn to my husband and say, ¨What was that funny thing Bella said this morning?¨ Sometimes we remember, sometimes we don´t. As a parent, you get this nagging feeling that your kids are growing up right in front of your eyes, every single day, and no matter how much you determine to remember, there will still be a million things you will forget.<br />
<br />
It isn´t just the things they say. It´s in the looks they give you, the things they do, the moments you share. Sometimes, to an onlooker, that moment that you wish you could bottle up and save forever looks totally commonplace. It´s not all about the first steps or the first word. Really, it´s not about those moments at all. You know you will remember those, and, if you´re like me, you will probably have five thousand pictures and videos of those moments to help you remember in case you should get amnesia.<br />
<br />
Tonight I was thinking, as I was putting my daughter down to sleep for the night, that sometimes it can even be the moments that you think, as you´re living them, are just annoying. Like when they won´t sleep, and you are pregnant and hot and you don´t really want anyone touching you and you just want this kid to fall asleep so you can have a little space! And then that little scoundrel, as if reading your mind, turns around, tucks one arm under you, and with the other hand, roughly pats your head, mimicking the way you stroke her hair as she falls asleep. Kids are great with that stuff. They diffuse you, just like that, and make you wonder what you were so annoyed about in the first place.<br />
<br />
It´s the way they say. ¨I love you¨. Sometimes they actually say those words, but as wonderful as those words are, the meaning behind them is still developing. The real love a child gives her mother is active. It is given. It is returned to you in the way you give it to her. She learned to express love from you! I think that might be the most exciting thing about motherhood.<br />
<br />
I love to watch my daughter play with her dolls and stuffed animals. She is attentive, thoughtful and affectionate. She is tender and loving. She speaks kindly to them, showers them with affection and cares for them meticulously. It makes me feel like I am doing something right. I am teaching her to be a mother.<br />
<br />
Of course, she also picks up some of my bad habits. Ahem. So don´t think I´m bragging. I´m not.<br />
<br />
I just love to see her blossom, and to know that I had something to do with that, even with all my flaws and failures.<br />
<br />
I´m getting ready for the arrival of our second daughter, and just thinking about what I want to remember about Bella as she is right now. Soon she will be adding ¨big sister¨ to her list of experiences, and I´m glad for her. I think having a sibling is a blessing, and something that really helps develop character. But I´m also sad. Sad because while she will always be my baby, she will no longer be THE baby, and I know that will be difficult and confusing for her. I´m sad that we will never be just the two of us girls again. (Although I´m excited to be the three of us girls!) It´s a bittersweet time, and I´m trying to savor our last weeks as a twosome.<br />
<br />
Some of Bella´s favorite things right now:<br />
<br />
Stuffed animals of every variety, playing doctor, taking our order and making us a meal in her kitchen (algo más?), stickers, jewelry and TV (a relatively new discovery since in Ecuador we watch a total of 0 TV...)<br />
<br />
Hugs, kisses, cuddles (cummy me, mommy!!), climbing all over me, trying to lick us (gross)<br />
<br />
Ice water, fruit, candy (another USA discovery), meat of all kinds, pizza, donuts<br />
<br />
Spiderman, but not Batman (he nasty, mommy)...and ¨Hulk for dadda¨ (Why? We don´t know...)<br />
<br />
Trying to be bossy (I told you no, mommy!)<br />
<br />
Beetles, but not spiders (I don´t yike it spiders)<br />
<br />
Bathtime, especially with bubbles or colored water, but not getting out of the bath<br />
<br />
Pink<br />
<br />
Looking at herself in the mirror<br />
<br />
Taking off her pants and running around the house in her undies<br />
<br />
<br />
Shoes!!<br />
<br />
<br />
Doing ¨exercises¨<br />
<br />
Church, but only because the nursery has tons of toys. Ha.<br />
<br />
Story time at the library (probably the thing I will miss most about the US) <br />
<br />
Eating snow (another happy USA experience!)<br />
<br />
Helping clean up (Me do it!)<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Matt Redman, Toby Mac, Old MacDonald, Twinkle Twinkle, The Itsy Bitsy Spider, 5 Little Monkeys, ¨Yo soy¨...and others<br />
<br />
Watching the ministry videos that daddy makes (Pa mano, papá!)<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
And I´m sure there is so much more! All of these things change and grow every day, just like she does, but sometimes it´s good to take a little snapshot, because there is so much that we forget to remember.<br />
<br />
What are the things your children say or do that you want to be sure to remember?Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5098832407748188958.post-12213109732733313002013-02-25T06:00:00.000-06:002013-02-25T06:00:13.626-06:00Get-through-your-Monday Girl Time - SuperMom Allison Bohn<br />
Hello, Monday! And hello, blog readers! Welcome back to our favorite little moment of the week, ¨Get-through-your-Monday Girl Time¨! Today we bring you another fun mommy interview, from a mommy who was recommended to me! I don´t know her personally, but we are friends on Facebook, so that is a good start. Just kidding. Actually we have several mutual friends, and this young lady comes highly recommended! I thoroughly enjoyed reading her interview and getting to know her, and I think her honest answers will be uplifting to you on this Monday! But don´t take my word for it--dive right in! Enjoy!<br />
<br />
-Ashley<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhdiOdMPPs9gmyxug7a4aChHZ1TDuG2Vt5h5wbFKy-X-X9Wof5oFIYR1il9H3fa_eoxG-2wXYnW_gMD0Y1mXLkmBZ1pn9wsFm5Mq4qhZROS_gt1uRZyqYY-71o9Yez7A1PlBPWpJLlp1c/s1600/allison.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhdiOdMPPs9gmyxug7a4aChHZ1TDuG2Vt5h5wbFKy-X-X9Wof5oFIYR1il9H3fa_eoxG-2wXYnW_gMD0Y1mXLkmBZ1pn9wsFm5Mq4qhZROS_gt1uRZyqYY-71o9Yez7A1PlBPWpJLlp1c/s320/allison.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<u><i>Tell us a little bit about yourself. Who are you?</i></u> <br />
My name is Allison Bohn. I have been married for almost 5 years to my amazing husband. I am very fortunate to be able to be a stay at home mom.<br />
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<u><i>Tell us about your family.</i></u> <br />
I have two wonderful kids, and for the time being we are living in Maine. We are waiting for God to tell us where he wants us next.<br />
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<u><i>How many children do you have, and what are their ages?</i></u> <br />
I have two children Hadassah 2 years, Aedan 2 months.<br />
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<u><i>This is an interview about motherhood, but your motherhood is shaped a lot by your marriage. How would you describe your relationship with your husband?</i></u> <br />
I love my relationship with my husband. He is my best<i> </i>friend who I talk to about everything. We complete each other.<br />
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<u><i>What is the hardest thing about being married?</i></u> <br />
Learning to give up control.<br />
<br />
<u><i>What is the best thing about being married?</i></u> <br />
Getting to spend the rest of my life with my husband<br />
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<u><i>Describe a memory between you and your husband that really stands out in your mind.</i></u> <br />
T<i>h</i>e way he looked at my the night he proposed. I could just tell how much he loved me.<br />
<br />
<u><i>How did your relationship with your husband change when you became parents?</i></u> <br />
It is getting stronger as we learn together how to raise our children. It makes me love him even more to see how much he loves his children.<br />
<br />
<u><i>How does your parenting style compare with your husband's?</i></u> <br />
I think we have similar styles. We pretty much agree on how we do most things. He just rough houses more because he is stronger lol.<br />
<br />
<u><i>In what ways have you changed since you became a mother? </i></u>I think I have become even more paranoid unfortunately because I am always scared something is going to happen to my kids, but other than that I think I have become more understanding as I try to see things from my children's perspective.<br />
<br />
<u><i>Describe a memory of pregnancy that stands out to you.</i></u> <br />
I loved both the times I felt both my kids move. It will never stop being amazing.<br />
<br />
<u><i>Describe a memory of your first weeks of motherhood that stands out to you</i></u>. <br />
Just having my little ones fall asleep on me. I love it when that happens.<br />
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<u><i>In what ways has your parenting style changed with each child? </i></u><br />
It is hard to say if my style differs because my son is so young so we are still in the adjusting phase.<br />
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<u><i>In what ways are your children similar to each other and in what ways are they different?</i></u> <br />
Again hard to say for the most part since my son is so little, but he is more needy than she was. He wants to be held all the time.<br />
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<u><i>In what ways are your children similar to you? In what ways are they different from you?</i></u> <br />
Haddie is more curious than I think I was. But she is a litte fireball like I was.<br />
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<u><i>For each of your children, share one of your favorite memories.</i></u> <br />
I don't think I can pick just one. But I love when she starts to understand things and she gets so proud of herself. With Aedan I was so glad to be able to see him right after he was born since I was awake for his c- section.<br />
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<u><i>Describe a moment as a mother where you felt overwhelmed.</i></u> <br />
When both my children are crying at the same time.<br />
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<u><i>What are your favorite ways to relax when you need a little break?</i></u> <br />
Probably watch tv or sleep, and read if I have a good book.<br />
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<u><i>What has been the hardest lesson you have had to learn as a mother?</i></u> <br />
I will have to let them go someday.<br />
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<u><i>What has been the hardest experience you have gone through as a mother? What did that experience teach you?</i></u> <br />
One thing is just the process of how they came into the world. I did not want a c-section and I have had to have two. I am now able to deal with the fact that God has his own plan in mind and I just need to go with it.<br />
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<u><i>Looking back on your life as a mother, what, if anything, do you regret?</i></u> <br />
Getting too upset at times.<br />
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<u><i>What do you think is the most important quality in a mother?</i></u> <br />
Understanding.<br />
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<u><i>What do you think children need most from their mothers?</i></u> <br />
Unconditional love.<br />
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<u><i>What advice would you give to other mothers out there who are reading this interview?</i></u> <br />
Just breathe. <br />
<br />
<u><i>Do you have any tips or tricks that have helped you stay organized, run your household or raise your kids more effectively?</i></u> <br />
Just stay on top of things as best you can. Everything can get out of hand real quick. I know from way too much experience that the house gets super messy before you know it.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5098832407748188958.post-42606896728557248122013-02-18T06:00:00.000-06:002013-02-18T06:00:05.282-06:00Get-through-your-Monday Girl Time - SuperMom Teresa LegereIt´s Monday again, and that means it´s ¨Get-through-your-Monday Girl Time¨! Today we have an interview from a supermom who will challenge and encourage you. When I think of Teresa and her family, there is one memory that always sticks out in my mind. When I lived in Maine, I lived with a pastor and his family, and helped translate for their newly adopted Guatemalan daughter. She was becoming good friends with Teresa´s daughters, and I was called upon one afternoon to translate as the pastor and his wife told their little daughter that one of those little girls had passed away, and the other was in the hospital in critical condition. Since then, I have seen how God has used this tragedy in Teresa´s family to do wonderful things, both within their family and throughout the world (no exaggeration!). I hope this glimpse into Teresa´s life will help you refresh your perspective on motherhood, and the true reason we become mothers. Enjoy!<br />
<br />
-Ashley<br />
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<br />
<br />
<u><i>Tell us a little bit about yourself. Who are you?</i></u><br />
I grew up in a small town in Maine, the youngest of 5 girls. I married my best friend when I was 21 and we have remained together through good times and bad. I am 38 years old. I worked as a nurse for 11 years before deciding to stay at home to raise my family. <br />
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<u><i>Tell us about your family. </i></u><br />
I grew up in a home with a Christian mom who took me to church every week. My dad was less involved when I was younger, but I am glad to say that he has now come to know the Lord and he and my mom are very actively involved in their church. My older sisters are a very important part of my life as well as the life of my children. <br />
<br />
<u><i>How many children do you have, and what are their ages?</i></u><br />
I have 6 daughters:<br />
Grace was 9 years old when she went home to be with Jesus 4 years ago.<br />
Sarah is 12, Deanna is 11, Hannah is 5, Anita is 3.<br />
Our 6th daughter is coming to us from Latvia later this year. She is 5 years old as well.<br />
<br />
*Update: Since this interview, Teresa´s 6th daughter has been officially adopted. Here´s what Teresa says: ¨Allison came home with us in August, the adoption was finalized in
November, and she had to return in December to finalize her passport/
visa hearing with the US Embassy. She was a great Christmas present!¨ <br />
<br />
<u><i>This is an interview about motherhood, but your motherhood is shaped a lot by your marriage. How would you describe your relationship with your husband?</i></u><br />
My husband is my absolute best friend. We have been together for almost 23 years and I cannot imagine my life without him. After God, he is my Rock. He keeps me grounded. He has remained faithful to me through my emotional ups and downs. He knows me better than any other person. (sometimes he even knows me better than I know myself). After the death of our daughter we were warned that our marriage could suffer. Just the opposite happened. We bonded together stronger then ever and keep growing closer every single day. <br />
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<u><i>What is the hardest thing about being married?</i></u><br />
Communication! Men and women communicate differently and it often is the cause of much misunderstanding. It takes a tender man to be sensitive enough to his wife to truly “listen” to her heart. It takes a strong woman to be able to go beyond her emotions to talk through hurts. <br />
<br />
<u><i>What is the best thing about being married?</i></u><br />
Spending every day of your life with your best friend!<br />
<br />
<u><i>Describe a memory between you and your husband that really stands out in your mind.</i></u><br />
There are so many, but I guess the first one that comes to mind is sitting in the back of my brother-in-law’s car as he drove us from one hospital where we had just heard our oldest daughter declared dead to another hospital where our youngest daughter had been flown due to a skull fracture. We sat there in the dark holding hands and crying. I remember asking him, “Are we going to be OK?” Without hesitation, he leaned over and kissed me and reassured me that everything was going to be OK. I knew then and there that we would become stronger as a result of this tragedy.<br />
<br />
<u><i>How did your relationship with your husband change when you became parents?</i></u><br />
We didn’t become parents in the “traditional” way. After 6 years of infertility we adopted a sibling group of 3 sisters from Romania. We went from 0 to 3 over night! It was a whirlwind and it turned our lives completely upside down. My husband, true to form, remained solid and would redirect me when my lack of sleep led to emotional upheavals. I wouldn’t say that our relationship “changed” but was further enhanced by the addition of our girls. Parenting brings out the best and the worst in us, forcing us to deal with our issues. <br />
<br />
<u><i>How does your parenting style compare with your husband´s?</i></u><br />
My husband tends to be the more patient parent. I am more short tempered and see things very black and white. <br />
<br />
However, our styles tend to compliment each other. When one of us is struggling to deliver the much needed grace that our girls need, the other parent steps in. When one of us struggles with deciding on a consequence for a family offense, the other one will remind the group of our set family rules. It is a definite team approach to parenting.<br />
<br />
<u><i>In what ways have you changed since you became a mother?</i></u><br />
I would have to say that becoming a mother has taught me patience and grace. As I mentioned before, parenting brings out the best and worst in us. Issues that you could “hide” before you had kids become front and center when you have children. God has a funny way of using our children to bring out emotions and behaviors that you have tried for years to ignore in yourself. You are forced to deal with them when they happen in front of your children. You can’t hide anything from your kids. This has forced me to take a very painful road of counseling and deep soul searching to recognize some very negative traits in myself that needed to be changed. <br />
<br />
<u><i>Describe a memory of pregnancy that stands out to you.</i></u><br />
Our children are all adopted so I have no “pregnancy” story; however, if you would like a detailed story of mountains of paperwork, doctors appointments, birth certificates, dossiers, apostillements, embassy hearings, court dates, etc. I’d be happy to fill you in. When you are pregnant you may feel physically violated at every step of the way. When you adopt you are violated in every aspect of your life….your home, your marriage, your finances, your emotional stability, your physical fitness. There are NO secrets. You need to fully document every aspect of your parenting plan from what you will feed the children on the first day home to what plans you have in place in the event of your untimely demise. It can be a little intimidating to have to think about these things when you haven’t even met your precious little angels yet! <br />
<br />
On top of the bureaucratic nightmare you have to deal with constant comments and unsolicited advice from well intentioned family members all the way up to complete strangers. (I have heard that this is true for pregnancy as well and I am at least thankful that complete strangers don’t approach me and touch my belly!)<br />
<br />
“Now that you are adopting you’ll get pregnant!”-Well, gee, that’s exactly why I started all of this. I had some sick notion that if I started to fully engage myself in the adoption journey for one of the 147 million orphans in the world that I would somehow miraculously become pregnant and just put this all aside!<br />
“They’re from Africa? Will they be black?”-Duh!<br />
<br />
“What if they have a disease?”-What if they do? My precious Grace was healthy as a horse and was struck by a car 12 miles from my home. There are no guarantees in life.<br />
<br />
“Why don’t you adopt from America?”-Because my child(ren) is/ are not from America.<br />
<br />
“Those children are so lucky.”-No. WE are the lucky ones!<br />
<br />
“Are they real sisters?”-Well, yes, I suppose they are.<br />
<br />
“Are you their real mother?”-Last I checked. I sometimes feel like Pinocchio and want to shout “I’m a real boy!” <br />
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“I couldn’t do that.”-You’re right. You probably couldn’t. <br />
<br />
<u><i>Describe a memory of your first weeks of motherhood that stands out to you.</i></u><br />
Sitting on the washing machine, rocking back and forth saying, “I can’t do this. We need to send them back.” To which my sweet, dear husband replied, ‘Well honey, we can’t give them back. We need to figure this out together.” And…we did!<br />
<br />
<u><i>In what ways has your parenting style changed with each child?</i></u><br />
We currently have 2 very distinct sets of children. We are parenting 2 pre teens, while parenting 2 preschoolers. Ugh! <br />
<br />
I have said all along that it is much easier the “second” time around. The addition of our 5 and 3 year old to the family 20 months ago went fairly smooth. It is easier when you have the older girls to help out. Plus, you have the knowledge that all of the irritating phases that your children go through are just that…a phase….and that it will pass and that you will survive!<br />
<br />
<u><i>In what ways are your children similar to each other and in what ways are they different? </i></u><br />
Our children are certainly all very unique. However, it is funny to see similarities between our 11 year old and the 5 year old. They are both very passionate and emotional. This causes some interesting clashes between them, but usually it is due to their similarities.<br />
<br />
<u><i>In what ways are your children similar to you? In what ways are they different from you?</i></u><br />
My 11 year old is an exact replica of me…crazy since she was knit together in her biological mom’s belly and not mine. We are so similar that my husband often calls her “Little T” (my name is Teresa). She carries her heart on her sleeve and you always know exactly what she is thinking. She is extremely passionate and feels things from her toes. When she is angry…she is ANGRY! When she is loving…she is sweet as can be. I see so many similarities between her and me it is scary. I was definitely predestined to be her mother.<br />
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<u><i>For each of your children, share one of your favorite memories.</i></u><br />
Grace loved horses. She was happiest on our annual family vacations to the Outer Banks where the wild horses roam free. She would just run care free down the beach and watch the horses for hours on end.<br />
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Sarah is my serious, more refined daughter. She is very quiet, yet witty. Just when you least expect it she can come up with some very funny, dry humor. While stopped at a stop light one day we saw a small hatchback with a picnic table strapped to the top. The top of the table laid out on the top of the car, with the legs pointing up to the sky. After a few moments of awkward silence, Sarah finally broke the silence with a quiet, “Huh….now there’s something you don’t see every day.” We all broke into hysterical laughter.<br />
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Dee is a swimmer. She has been on our local swim team for 7 years. My favorite memory was watching her at our state meet when she was about 8 years old. She was an entire lane behind the fastest swimmer in her heat. Once she made her flip turn and realized she was far behind she kicked it in and ended up winning her heat. She looked up at the score board and saw that she had come in first and pumped her little fist in the air. It was priceless!<br />
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Hannah is so full of life! She is constantly moving, dancing, singing. I often look up from what I am doing and can see her shaking her little body to whatever music is on. <br />
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Anita is the baby of the family. She is such a sweetheart and a snuggle bug. I love rocking her to sleep every night. When she was still sucking her thumb she would lie in my arms, sucking her thumb with her right hand and she would gently place her left hand, palm open, on my face while I would sing softly to her. <br />
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<u><i>Describe a moment as a mother where you felt overwhelmed.</i></u><br />
Just one?!? Ha! I generally have at least one overwhelmed moment each day. When you are a stay at home mom with 4 children, trying to homeschool 2 of them while keeping the other 2 out of trouble, help your husband with a foundation to help bring hope and healing to orphans and vulnerable children, be the wife of a pastor to a church plant to the downtown city filled with broken people and 10,000 refugees from Africa, serve at your local community outreach facility with homework help and meals it is easy to become overwhelmed. Oh yeah…and don’t forget trying to keep your marriage alive and happy while cooking, cleaning and carpooling to music lessons, soccer, dance, swim and play dates. If you don’t stay grounded in the Lord and keep your priorities straight you can easily become overwhelmed with the details of life and forget why you are really doing all of this…to grow and nurture these children to love the Lord and to grow into adults who love and serve Him. <br />
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<u><i>What are your favorite ways to relax when you need a little break?</i></u><br />
Go out to lunch with my girlfriends. Or take a walk.<br />
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<u><i>What has been the hardest lesson you have had to learn as a mother?</i></u><br />
That our children do not belong to us. They belong to God and He only lends them to us….sometimes for a short period of time.<br />
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<u><i>What has been the hardest experience you have gone through as a mother? What did that experience teach you?</i></u><br />
The hardest thing I ever had to do as a mother was to bury my daughter. It has taught me to not take anything for granted. Each day is a gift. Treat it as such! It is sometimes hard to do in the stress of every day life with children but try to find at least one moment each day when you can look at your children and cherish the treasure that they are. <br />
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<u><i>Looking back on your life as a mother, what, if anything, do you regret?</i></u><br />
Not playing more with my girls when they were younger. If I had it to do over again, I would have left the real cooking and the cleaning so that I could enjoy pretend pies, sidewalk chalk and sand castles with my girls.<br />
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<u><i>What do you think is the most important quality in a mother?</i></u><br />
I think every child needs different things from their mother, but overall I would have to say that consistency is the key. If your children know what to expect from you then they will feel secure in themselves. They will know that you love them by holding them accountable to consistent rules and consequences (maybe not right away but they will as they grow older).<br />
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<u><i>What do you think children need most from their mothers?</i></u><br />
To feel loved. No matter what they do they need to know that you will love them with an unconditional love.<br />
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<u><i>What advice would you give to other mothers out there who are reading this interview?</i></u><br />
Stop being so hard on yourself! You don’t have to be the perfect mother nor do you have to raise the perfect children. Just be willing to learn from your mistakes, laugh at yourself and teach your children what it looks like to be honest about your short comings.<br />
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<u><i>Do you have any tips or tricks that have helped you stay organized, run your household or raise your kids more effectively?</i></u><br />
Ha ha! This is funny. I think this is a constant battle for all mothers; regardless of where you live. You can live in a mud hut in Africa or a 5800 square foot home in America and every mother struggles with organization. No matter how hard you try to keep life organized, your children will always throw a wrench in the plan when they decide to live with you. And that is what kids do…they LIVE with you. They are messy, creative, artistic, inquisitive. All of these things involve messes! You can have things in place to help you stay organized to a certain degree but please don’t allow your organizational plans to interfere with your children exploring all of their potential to become the person God wants them to be.<br />
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<u><i>Any final thoughts you´d like to share?</i></u><br />
Motherhood is hard. Find some good friends. Not fake friends….REAL friends! The last thing you need is women who are pretending that everything is perfect. If someone tries to sell you that line of goods…RUN FAR AND FAST from her! She is a liar! You need brutally honest, real women around you to help you on this journey.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5098832407748188958.post-83297396010541909772013-02-11T06:00:00.000-06:002013-02-11T06:00:06.306-06:00Get-through-your-Monday Girl Time - SuperMom Julia RodrickThis Monday morning, or as we affectionately call it around here, ¨Get-through-your-Monday Girl Time¨ we have a very special treat. We have an interview from a veteran mom today, with lots of experience. She has four kids, three of which are pretty cool, and one of which is AWESOME. It´s my mom! (And I am the awesome one. Just in case that wasn´t clear.) I really enjoyed reading this interview, and I think you will appreciate the hard-earned wisdom she has to share. Raising me was a joy, no doubt, but even the most wonderful children have a few lessons for their mom´s, right? Ok, enough of that, on to the good stuff. Coffee? Check. Comfy slippers? Check. Back massage from husband? Check. Well, maybe not, but a girl can dream! Here it comes! Enjoy!<br />
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-Ashley<br />
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<u><i>Tell us a little bit about yourself. Who are you?</i></u><br />
I’m Julia Rodrick. I am the wife to Phillip. I am the mom to Tina, Todd, Nick and Ashley. I am also the grandma to Travis, Brandon, Bryce, Paige, Isabella and Maddox. <br />
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<u><i>Tell us about your family.</i></u> <br />
We are a blended family. My two oldest children are from my husband’s first marriage. Our “middle” son is from my first marriage and our youngest is ours, together. In spite of this “blending” I believe our family dynamics reflect a unity that is rare and blessed. I don’t think our kids think of themselves as having “step” relationships with each other. It hasn’t always been easy but I like to think that each of our kids know that we (My husband and I) hold each of them as close in heart equally. There is no “yours” or “mine”, just ours…<br />
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<u><i>How many children do you have, and what are their ages?</i></u><br />
Four; Tina 40, Todd 35, Nicholas 30 and Ashley 25<br />
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<u><i>This is an interview about motherhood, but your motherhood is shaped a lot by your marriage. How would you describe your relationship with your husband?</i></u><br />
I would say Committed and loyal. We aren’t always best friends but we are always in love.<br />
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<u><i>What is the hardest thing about being married?</i></u><br />
I believe marriage is about “dying to self” everyday, and doing it willingly. That’s difficult because to do that requires total trust that your spouse will do the same…scary stuff<br />
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<u><i>What is the best thing about being married?</i></u><br />
Despite the challenges, it’s fun. It’s an adventure each day.<br />
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<u><i>Describe a memory between you and your husband that really stands out in your mind.</i></u><br />
So many…I remember when we bought our first ford truck. I wasn’t thrilled because I didn’t see how it would be something I would use…My husband surprised me the night he brought it home by placing soft blankets in the back, bought wine and chicken to create a picnic in the back of the truck (while Randy Travis’ “Forever and Ever, Amen” played in the background…very sweet) <br />
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<u><i>How did your relationship with your husband change when you became parents?</i></u><br />
We were already parents so I can’t say it changed…I will say that it was a challenge to transition from having one 2 ½ year old boy to three kids (including a pre-teen). <br />
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<u><i>How does your parenting style compare with your husband´s?</i></u><br />
He is a man of few words when it comes to discipline. He has a way of communicating expectations and the kids never challenged it. I am an over-communicator so I’m sure I wore my kids out.<br />
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<u><i>In what ways have you changed since you became a mother?</i></u><br />
I hope I am less selfish. I hope that I am more generous. I know that I am much more committed to Christ<br />
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<u><i>Describe a memory of pregnancy that stands out to you.</i></u><br />
My two pregnancies were physically demanding. I was very ill during my first. Blood pressures and protein levels were abnormal most of the time. I was hospitalized. I gained a lot of weight. They thought my son “wouldn’t be right” and suggested I terminate the pregnancy at first. I couldn’t do it. It’s amazing how you can love a child when they are just a hope…no bigger than a lima bean. My first husband was absent emotionally so I felt very much alone. I focused all my attention on staying as healthy as possible for the baby. It was difficult because I was trying to finish college and had to work part-time. My second time around, I was sick but had a lot of emotional support from my new husband. We were excited.<br />
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<u><i>Describe a memory of your first weeks of motherhood that stands out to you.</i></u><br />
It felt natural, even though I spent most of the time on the couch nursing. Having my son in my arms was calming. He was a good baby.<br />
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<u><i>In what ways has your parenting style changed with each child? </i></u><br />
I think each of our children are very different and we eventually learned that each required a different approach. A firm hand worked for our oldest son…it NEVER worked for our youngest daughter.<br />
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<u><i>In what ways are your children similar to each other and in what ways are they different?</i></u><br />
Tina is guarded but very loyal to those she loves. She is giving and patient, creative and sensible. Todd is very black and white. He needs control, is very strong-willed, but can be very loving. Nick is a funny, creative, bold young man with an intense sense of duty. He loves life and loves with passion. Ashley is strong-willed, but fair. She loves deeply and with fierce loyalty. She is a philosopher and dreamer but is sensible. She likes to plan life and used to get pretty frustrated when life didn’t conform to her plans. She is very funny and entertaining. <br />
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<u><i>In what ways are your children similar to you? In what ways are they different from you?</i></u><br />
I think the sense of loyalty comes from both my husband and me. I think the strong-will comes from me… I think the dreamer is from me but the sensible side is from my husband. I know it’s irritating to ALL my kids that I’m a morning person!<br />
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<u><i>For each of your children, share one of your favorite memories.</i></u><br />
Tina’s wedding day (wow, she was so beautiful), Todd when he hit the softball for the first time, he has some disability so that was HUGE! Nick’s first step. It was just him and me, playing after his bath and, after helping him to steady, he took two steps. I was amazed because he was so chubby I didn’t think he could balance. Ashley, the day she started to read. I knew she was going to be unstoppable. Of course her wedding was very special too…<br />
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<u><i>Describe a moment as a mother where you felt overwhelmed.</i></u><br />
Gee, just one moment…sometimes it has seemed that I felt overwhelmed for months! Most recently, I’d say the day my son returned after deployment. It was a very tough period in our family and great relief to have him home safe. It broke my heart as I realized how emotionally affected he was from his experience there. It still does.<br />
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<u><i>What are your favorite ways to relax when you need a little break?</i></u><br />
I like making jewelry, reading Max Lucado, shopping or enjoying a good movie.<br />
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<u><i>What has been the hardest lesson you have had to learn as a mother?</i></u><br />
That I’m not always right in my choices. I thank God that I have forgiving children...<br />
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<u><i>What has been the hardest experience you have gone through as a mother? What did that experience teach you?</i></u><br />
I’m still going through it, but I think that it’s that you can’t make choices for your (grown) children. Totally have to rely on God.<br />
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<u><i>Looking back on your life as a mother, what, if anything, do you regret?</i></u><br />
Working full time. I know, with our situation, it was unavoidable but I wish I would have been around more. I so relate to young moms who try to balance work with family. It’s so difficult.<br />
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<u><i>What do you think is the most important quality in a mother?</i></u><br />
Faith, know what you believe. Grace, extending to your children at all times; Integrity, don’t compromise your faith. Protection but balancing when to let go (still learning that one, even after all these years)<br />
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<u><i>What do you think children need most from their mothers?</i></u><br />
Humor, Love, confirmation that they are special and worthwhile. Forgiveness when they “screw-up”<br />
<u><i><br />What advice would you give to other mothers out there who are reading this interview?</i></u><br />
After 30 years, I’m still learning so, I’d say the reality of that would be that life is a process. Hang in there, enjoy your children, be genuine and honest and fair… don’t sweat the small stuff…<br />
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<u><i>Do you have any tips or tricks that have helped you stay organized, run your household or raise your kids more effectively?</i></u><br />
Do a little each day to stay ahead. Teach your kids early to clean up after themselves. Make it fun. Don’t judge perfection…if the bed is crooked, they missed some crumbs, etc. but they tried… yeah for them!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5098832407748188958.post-7420512988874892172013-02-04T06:00:00.000-06:002013-02-04T06:00:13.626-06:00Get-through-your-Monday Girl Time - SuperMom Jessica LlancafilHello, hello! How is your Monday so far? Well, it´s about to get better! For our weekly ¨Get-through-your-Monday Girl Time¨, wouldn´t you just love to chat with your best Argentinian buddy? What´s that? You don´t have one? Well, not to worry. I will lend you mine! All the way from Argentina, my friend Jessica is sharing with us today in her mommy interview. She has lots of great insight for such a young mommy! (So great, in fact, that I took the trouble to translate the whole interview into English for you!) So make yourself a nice cup of South American coffee and get in the mood for some girl talk with your new Argentinian friend! Enjoy!<br />
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-Ashley<br /><br />
PS: Don´t forget to leave comments!<br /><br />
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<br />
<u><i>Tell us a little bit about yourself. Who are you?</i></u><br />
My name is Jessica Paola, I was born in Trelew in Chubut Province, a city in the south of my country known as the Argentine Patagonia. I am 21!<br />
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I am a mom, a wife, a student, and a servant of God´s Word. With all of that, I have a lot of activities and sometimes I get worn out. I travel a lot, and I study through a distance learning program which requires dedication and effort.<br />
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<u><i>Tell us about your family.</i></u><br />
My family is made up of 7 people, my mom Mirian who is 40, my dad Raúl who is 45, and my 3 sisters and just one brother. <br />
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From the age of 5 my parents came to know God, and since then we believe in Him. <br />
I have my own family two, since I have been married for 2 years. My husband´s name is Jonatan, he is 25 and was born in Bogotá, Colombia. Together we lead a ministry which has blessed hundreds and thousands of people, and with our young age we have learned that age is not an obstacle for anyone who has a dream, and even less when God calls them. <br />
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My husband and I met in Argentina, when I was 18 and he was 21. We fell in love and in 2010 we were married. <br />
How many children do you have, and what are their ages?<br />
I have just one son, the apple of my eye. He is 1 and a half. <br />
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<u><i>This is an interview about motherhood, but your motherhood is shaped a lot by your marriage. How would you describe your relationship with your husband?</i></u><br />
My relationship with my husband is really good. I think we both have qualities in common, and one that is very important is dialogue. We both believe that to avoid problems, arguments, and other issues, the most important thing is dialogue. We get along really well, thank God, and we have a lot in common, including that we both love soccer.<br />
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<u><i>What is the hardest thing about being married?</i></u><br />
When we were first married, we had language differences, since we are from two different cultures. Many times we didn´t realize that the other person could be offended by a word that in your own culture is considered normal. But those things happened at the beginning, and thanks to God we have been getting through it. I think the hardest part of our marriage were the first three months.<br />
Being married is complex, that implies adapting in everything, maybe getting rid of aspects of our attitudes and personalities is the hardest part. <br />
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<i><u>What is the best thing about being married?</u></i><br />
The affection and the companionship. We love to be together and support each other. We both have our own dreams and dreams in common, but when we carry out those individual dreams we support each other as if those dreams were our own. Also, in our marriage and our home there is lots of dialogue and affection, and that´s the nicest part. <br />
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<u><i>Describe a memory between you and your husband that really stands out in your mind.</i></u><br />
The moment we got engaged.<br />
On one of our walks, of which we had a few while dating, on the beach, we decided to get married and got engaged. I remember that after that I didn´t see him for several months because he had to go on a long trip and was out of the country.<br />
One afternoon on September 9th, sitting on the dock of the beach we made the most important decision of our lives, and we used pretend rings...ha! I will never forget it! <br />
How did your relationship with your husband change when you became parents?<br />
It got much better. A lot of things changed for the better when our baby came that really changed our lives. <br />
We became much more united, a child can really mature a relationship...our character, time and dedication became strengths for our marriage. <br />
<u><i><br />How does your parenting style compare with your husband´s?</i></u><br />
Well, it´s similar, although he is more of a disciplinarian, and I like to give second chances. Our baby is really active, so he makes lots of messes, and his dad tends to punish him more or challenge him, but I spoil him more, I correct him, but I spoil him, too. <br />
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In other ways our parenting styles are similar, we try to get him to eat well, we let him experiment. <br />
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<u><i>In what ways have you changed since you became a mother?</i></u><br />
Wow, I really changed 100%. I think the fact that I am a mom has made me stronger in every way, my way of seeing life changed. I am happier, I enjoy all of the little details of life, which I didn´t do before. <br />
Since my baby was born I see myself as capable of much more. I was always a multitasker, but now I think I can do much more...I feel able to fight for things I wouldn´t have before. It´s impressive, but a child has the capacity to change a person´s whole life. <br />
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<u><i>Describe a memory of pregnancy that stands out to you.</i></u><br />
Here I could describe so many, but I will share one. At 3 and a half months of pregnancy the baby kicked for the first time and wouldn´t stop kicking. No one believed me, not even the doctor, because she said he was still too small...but it was such a unique sensation that I cried and I felt so excited that my baby wanted to communicate with me. It was beautiful and I will never forget it. <br />
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<u><i>Describe a memory of your first weeks of motherhood that stands out to you.</i></u><br />
I remember that my baby was born and slept all day and all night, he wouldn´t even nurse, he just slept. I almost didn´t sleep, trying to look after him, seeing if he woke up, making sure he could breathe, checking his diaper...haha...it was beautiful. After about three days his cycle changed and he wouldn´t let me sleep at night, he would sleep during the day and come alive at night...haha. I remember even wetting his face to wake him up and even that didn´t work. But thank God it only lasted about a week.<br />
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<u><i>What would you do differently in the future if you have more children?</i></u><br />
From the beginning I would let the baby sleep in the crib. That was a mistake I made, although luckily nothing has happened while he has slept, but he still sleeps with us. He got used to feeling us next to him to be able to sleep. <br />
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<u><i>Describe your child´s personality.</i></u><br />
Elías Jair has a very set character. I think the fact that we travel all the time with him, and he is around adults, has made his personality develop quickly, in some ways very different than other babies. He is very adaptable, to different climates, places, food, people. <br />
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He´s a baby that, when he doesn´t like someone, is totally serious, and it makes me laugh because nothing will get him to smile. But if he likes you he is super sweet. His personality is really well-defined.<br />
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<u><i>In what ways are your children similar to you? In what ways are they different from you?</i></u><br />
My baby is like me in lots of ways: His sleeping position (which I won´t share, haha) is just like mine, his laugh, he is affectionate, he is cranky all day if he doesn´t sleep well, his eyes and eyelashes are like mine, he loves ice cream...amongst other things. <br />
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<u><i>For each of your children, share one of your favorite memories.</i></u><br />
I store away all of my memories with love. The truth is that I have stored up so many memories in my mind and heart, but I will just pick one that came to mind right now...The day he started walking. I remember his joy, his face was so happy because he took his first steps, he looked surprised and smiled when he saw everyone looking at him...He took his first steps walking over to a young girl...It was one of the most exciting moments. <br />
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<u><i>Describe a moment as a mother where you felt overwhelmed.</i></u><br />
Those times when the baby doesn´t want anyone but momma, and he doesn´t let me get anything done...I can´t eat, go anywhere, it´s uncomfortable and exhausting. There have been lots of days when I needed to do homework or laundry and my son wouldn´t let me. A lot of times I run out of patience. Being a mom is hard work, not easy at all. <br />
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There are moments when you want to run away, be alone, with no noise and nobody counting on you every second. <br />
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<u><i>What are your favorite ways to relax when you need a little break?</i></u><br />
The only way I can rel<u>a</u>x is being with my family, without talking about work, money, contacts, trips...just enjoying the love of our family, eating an ice cream, snuggling together in bed...that is so nice...a few hours like that and I´m as good as new. <br />
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<u><i>What has been the hardest lesson you have had to learn as a mother?</i></u><br />
A lesson that life teaches all moms, that we´re not in control of things. As a mom we would like to have everything under control; the health of our children, their development, growth and lots of other things, but life teaches us that we can´t be everywhere at once. Life teaches us that our children get sick, even though we don´t want them to, and they have accidents, even though it hurts us, and they cry, even though we wish we could avoid it. That is the most difficult lesson that I am still learning, that I can´t control everything, which is why I always place my family in God´s hands. <br />
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<u><i>Looking back on your life as a mother, what, if anything, do you regret?</i></u><br />
Honestly I don´t regret anything. Being a mom has been God´s best gift to me on this earth, and I wouldn´t change it for anything and I´m not sorry for any of it. I know that as a mom sometimes we have to go through not-so-pleasant things, but I´m the one in charge of taking the stones out of the path, along with God´s help. <br />
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<u><i>What do you think is the most important quality in a mother?</i></u><br />
I think all mothers need extreme patience and love. I think that our children go through different stages and grow in maturity, and you can´t avoid it, but with patience we learn to get through it and go through those stages with our children. <br />
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<u><i>What do you think children need most from their mothers?</i></u><br />
A good example. Children learn from everything they see and hear. When a child is growing, his sense of perception gets sharper and sharper. Everything they see, even if we aren´t necessarily teaching them, they learn. I think it´s good to talk to them, but it´s also good to give a good example in all that we do. Tomorrow they will be everything they saw in mom and dad. <br />
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<u><i>What advice would you give to other mothers out there who are reading this interview?</i></u><br />
The first big piece of advice is that we always have to rely on God´s help, because without Him we can´t do anything. <br />
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For those women who aren´t moms yet, but are about to be or want to be someday, don´t be nervous about labor or start yelling. Although there is some inevitable pain in that moment, try to enjoy the moment and keep in mind that the pain will be over soon. <br />
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Although as a woman we always have a thousand things to do each day, look after our husbands, work, buy groceries, travel, study, and other things...always take time out to observe all the details in your children, because time flies so fast and you can´t get it back...Enjoy every stage, every smile and cry, enjoy being a mother. We should earn the title of mother every day. <br />
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Try to give your children good things, good advice, good nutrition...and how great it is if we can teach them more than one language...the time in life when the brain absorbs the most information is in childhood...teach your children wisdom, because what children learn will shape their lives forever. <br />
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Above all things, put your children in God´s hands each day. He does what we can´t do, and it´s God who looks after them at all times. <u><i><br /></i></u>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5098832407748188958.post-87554958051276637802013-01-28T06:00:00.000-06:002013-01-28T06:00:15.987-06:00Get-through-your-Monday Girl Time - SuperMom Kimbre VarneyAnother Monday, are you excited? Well, of course you are, because that means it´s time for ¨Get-through-your-Monday Girl Time¨! I have another knock-out interview for you, this time from my sweet friend Kimbre. She is a young mom, but don´t let that fool you, she has been through a lot! I love her upbeat attitude and her total reliance on God to get through everything from crankiness to immune disorders. I also wouldn´t mind eating one of those pies I see her post pictures of on Facebook. (hint, hint) I loved her interview, and I bet you will, too! Coffee in hand? Let´s do this! Enjoy!<br />
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-Ashley<br />
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PS- I know tons of you moms are reading these interviews, since you tell me so, but don´t forget to become part of the girl time and leave comments for our SuperMoms! <br /><br />
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<u><i>Tell us about your family. </i></u><br />
Where do I even begin? I LOVE my family! My husband and I married on July 12, 2008. I can’t believe it will be 4 years in just a few months! Time really does fly when you are with the one you love. It seems like our love for one another continues to grow deeper in every circumstance that we confront because we have the amazing example of Christ to follow. My husband proudly serves in the United States Air Force and just completed his third year of service. In August of 2010, we welcomed our son, Gideon, into our family. <br />
<u><i><br />How many children do you have, and what are their ages?</i></u><br />
I have an awesome 20 month old little boy. <br />
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<u><i>This is an interview about motherhood, but your motherhood is shaped a lot by your marriage. How would you describe your relationship with your husband?</i></u><br />
My husband and I have a very strong marriage because of the grace that God has given us. Without God as the center of our marriage, who knows where we would be. <br />
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<u><i>What is the hardest thing about being married?</i></u><br />
The hardest thing about being married is putting your spouse before yourself and being submissive. It is our natural tendency, since the fall of man, to be self-centered and want to rule over our husbands. <br />
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<u><i>What is the best thing about being married?</i></u><br />
You get to share the wonder of God together and walk hand –in-hand with your true love. God has perfectly designed marriage to bring honor and glory to His name. The constant encouragement from my husband is truly amazing! <br />
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<u><i>Describe a memory between you and your husband that really stands out in your mind.</i></u><br />
My husband currently serves in the United States Air Force. He enlisted after we had been married for eight months. When he left for basic training, it was extremely difficult for both of us. When graduation weekend finally came around, I flew down to Texas to see him for the first time in 8.5 weeks. My heart was pounding, my palms were sweating. I was so nervous to see him again. When he finally came around the corner during the ceremony, I could not wait to hug him. The most torturous part was that they made you wait until after the ceremony to say hi. As I watched him from a distance, I knew that my life had drastically changed for the better. I already knew that I loved this man, but I didn’t realize how much I needed him. Spending time away from my spouse was the most difficult thing I have had to do, but God showed me how to appreciate the love that he has given us. <br />
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<u><i>How did your relationship with your husband change when you became parents?</i></u><br />
When my son was born, he was only 5.8 pounds even though he was full term. Doctors could not explain why, but thought that he was perfectly healthy. After a few days at home, we got a call from our son’s doctor telling us that we needed to make our way to the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia (CHOP). My son’s body was not producing enough red blood cells for his body to function properly. At 12 days old, Gideon received his first blood transfusion. This is only a small part of our story, but I thought it was important to give a little background before I actually answered this question. When my son was born, my relationship with my husband became so much stronger. Everything that we had experienced in our dating and married lives could not prepare us for what we were going through. I felt myself leaning on my husband because I couldn’t even stand by myself. We had no idea what was going on or what to expect. We only knew that we needed to trust that God was in complete control of the situation. Becoming parents completely changed our relationship, but in a great way. We learned that we needed to utterly rely on God in any and every circumstance. <br />
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<u><i>How does your parenting style compare with your husband´s?</i></u><br />
The biggest way that my husband and I differ in parenting is what we allow our son to eat. I am usually very strict in what I allow him to eat, but my husband wants my son to experience everything the world has to offer for food. Other than that, my husband and I talk a lot about parenting our son and I try to allow my husband to decide how we can best raise our son. In our society today, men are made to be domesticated when God made them to be warriors. Because of this, I take the lead from my husband and let our little boy be a boy. We are not saying that you don’t need to discipline your boys, but that God created them differently than women and they need to be raised differently. <br />
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<u><i>In what ways have you changed since you became a mother?</i></u><br />
I have changed in so many ways since becoming a mother. I can take a shower in less than 5 minutes, I desperately rely on coffee to get me through the day, and I often find myself praying more for the strength to make it until daddy comes home from work =) I have encountered SO many trying experiences since becoming a mom and it has truly taught me to rely more on God. I have complete and total trust that God has a purpose for everything that we experience in life. He plainly shows us through the most horrific experience in history – the death of His Son – that everything can be used for His good. If the greatest good in our history came from the most horrific experience, then there has to be good in EVERY situation. Romans 8:28 “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” <br />
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<u><i>Describe a memory of pregnancy that stands out to you.</i></u><br />
Gideon has always been a very active baby, even when he was still inside me. I remember very distinctly, near the end of my pregnancy, Mattie and I were doing a paper route for a friend really early in the morning. Gideon decided to wake up and play ¨guess what body part¨. I grabbed Mattie’s hand as we were driving and had him feel all the little bony parts that were sticking out. We had so much fun trying to guess what we were feeling. <br />
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<u><i>Describe a memory of your first weeks of motherhood that stands out to you.</i></u><br />
My husband and I decided to wait to find out the gender of our baby until he was born. Many people called us old fashioned and some even said we were crazy. We struggled for a very long time on what to name our precious baby. We had so many that we liked, but couldn’t decide. We wanted a strong and meaningful name. I can’t even begin to express the sheer joy that we experienced when my midwife placed my son in my arms for the first time and asked me if it was a boy or a girl. I was crying so hard I had to blink the tears from my eyes and then began to sob all over again when I saw that it was a boy! I couldn’t stop saying it’s a boy! It’s a boy! His name is Gideon Tucker! It was truly the most amazing experience ever. What a miracle! <br />
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<u><i>In what ways are your children similar to you? In what ways are they different from you?</i></u><br />
Our family and friends often joke that Gideon looks like my husband, but acts like me. Gideon loves to sing and dance. He has had a love for music since he was first born. His favorite song when he was little was Give Me Jesus by Jeremy Camp. Whatever the reason was for his crying, this song would stop him in an instant. His love of dance comes from me, but he does not get his dance moves from me.<br />
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<u><i>For each of your children, share one of your favorite memories.</i></u><br />
I don’t think that I can pick just one, but I absolutely love when Gideon laughs. His laugh is so captivating and it makes you laugh right along with him. Even just last night, we were getting him ready for bed and he thought that brushing his teeth was hysterical. He must have been overtired, but it was awesome to be caught up in that moment with my two boys. <br />
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<u><i>Describe a moment as a mother where you felt overwhelmed.</i></u><br />
Right after Gideon was born, when he ended up back in the hospital, I was completely overwhelmed. Mattie and I have always wanted at least two children of our own and then to adopt. I felt downright dismayed by all of the medical problems that we were dealing with. Even though I wanted to experience pregnancy again, I let the devastating experience overpower me. I was in tears telling my husband that we were never having any more children. God has truly been working in our hearts and through the experiences that we have gone through. We are trusting that if God wants us to have more children with medical issues, that He will give us His strength to make it through. <br />
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<u><i>What are your favorite ways to relax when you need a little break?</i></u><br />
Once Gideon is down for the night and all of my daily chores are done, I love to read, make crafts, or run. My husband realizes that I do need some time away from our son every now and then. Even though he is extremely busy with his work and school schedules, my husband allows me to attend ladies Bible study every other Tuesday night. He is the most caring and loving man I have ever met. <br />
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<u><i>What has been the hardest lesson you have had to learn as a mother?</i></u><br />
I think that the hardest lesson I have had to learn as a mom is self-sacrifice. When you become a wife, you learn to make sacrifices for your spouse, but it is nothing compared to the sacrifices you make as a mom. You sacrifice sleep, time alone with your spouse, quiet devotional time, and a regulated schedule. You no longer get to decide exactly what happens in your day. Even if you have your whole day planned out, it is often changed by unexpected blow outs, melt downs, and crankiness. <br />
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<u><i>What has been the hardest experience you have gone through as a mother? What did that experience teach you?</i></u><br />
I have given you a small glimpse of the medical issues that we have experienced with our son, but I will further explain what has happened and what we have learned from it. Gideon was born very small. Although he was born a few days after his due date, he was only 5.8 lbs. when he was born. The doctors could not explain why, but thought that he was healthy. Upon further testing, they discovered that Gideon was extremely anemic. This caused him to sleep most of the time because his body was working overtime to function as close to normal as possible. Gideon received his first blood transfusion at 12 days old and his second one at 13 days. After the Hematologists performed dozens of test to assess what was ailing Gideon, they did not come to any conclusions. Miraculously, Gideon’s blood counts remained fairly stable. We absolutely attribute it to the wonderful work of God. <br />
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Gideon’s first winter was filled with runny noses and ear infections. Near the end of winter, Gideon contracted bronchitis and stopped growing. He had always been near the bottom of the averages, but around 6 months of age, Gideon flat lined in growth. This frightened the doctors and in turn it frightened us too. Gideon was sent to a Gastroenterology specialist to see if he was not properly receiving nutrition from the food that he was eating. The testing was inconclusive and they decided to place Gideon on calorie boosters to try and increase his weight gain. During the process, they also sent him to a Pulmonologist to assess his breathing and they thought that he might have cystic fibrosis. Through testing and analysis, they discovered that Gideon was asthmatic and he did not have cystic fibrosis or sleep apnea. During the testing, they did notice some abnormalities in his immune system. The core immunoglobulins that make up his immune system were extremely low. Furthermore, from this discovery we were sent to an Immunology specialist. Right before Gideon’s first birthday, they discovered that he had an immune deficiency. The doctors told us that Gideon was too young for them to know exactly what was causing this imbalance in his body and that they would have to wait until he was older to complete the testing. With the doctors, we discussed what this meant for out little man. They explained to us that Gideon’s body could not fight off normal infections and that we needed to be extremely careful about what he is exposed to. The course of treatment was called IVIG and was needed every 28 days. At the same time that we were learning all of these new things about Gideon’s immune system, his Gastroenterologist was extremely dissatisfied with how Gideon was growing and was trying to force us into using a feeding tube. It was extremely hard as a parent, but once we heard both sides of the argument, we decided to start the IVIG treatment and forgo the feeding tube. The Immunologist decided to do 8 treatments (once a month) of IVIG and then take Gideon off for a few months to test how his body did without it. Through the 8 months of treatment, we experienced minor reactions to the sudden influx of immunoglobulins in Gideon’s body, but our greatest struggle was getting our rambunctious little guy to sit through a 4 hour treatment while attached to an IV poll. We are currently in the waiting period. Gideon received his last IVIG treatment in March 2012 and will be going in for testing on June 7, 2012. We are praying for a miracle. How amazing would it be to hear the words, “he is perfectly healthy”? We have seen God heal our little man before and we know that He can do it again. Through this whole process, we have learned to trust God. The rougher situations become, the more we need to rely on God’s strength to get us through. We never would have chosen this experience for ourselves, but through it we have become a stronger family, learned to trust that God is in control, and had the opportunity to witness to many families. <br />
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*Update: I asked Kimbre to update me a little on Gideon´s health. Here is what she said: ¨Since G's testing, they discovered that his counts had gone slightly up.
They are not normal, but it was a great sign to see them go up. Because
of this, his Immunologist decided to take him off the monthly treatment
of IVIG! He has been doing quite well. Throughout this cold and flu
season we are being very cautious and as long as he doesn't have more
then three infections, he will continue without the treatment. So far,
he hasn't had any!!! We daily pray for his his health and thank God for
his life. Gideon still is very small in size and has problems growing,
but we have seen God work in his little body before and are confident
that he will continue to do so.¨ <br />
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<u><i>Looking back on your life as a mother, what, if anything, do you regret?</i></u><br />
I am not a perfect mom. I have made mistakes and learned from them, but I don’t regret anything. <br />
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<u><i>What do you think is the most important quality in a mother?</i></u><br />
I think that the most important quality in a mother is love. Without love, nothing else matters. <br />
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<u><i>What do you think children need most from their mothers?</i></u><br />
The absolute most important thing that a child needs from their mother is Christ’s love. It is extremely important to raise our children in obedience to God. As hard as it may be, we need to teach our children about the wonderful things that God has done for us and discipline them out of love. Proverbs 13:24 is very clear when it states, “Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.” I don’t think that any parent likes to discipline their child, but it is very important to love our children in this way. <br />
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<u><i>What advice would you give to other mothers out there who are reading this interview?</i></u><br />
Talk to other mothers and pray. As a mom, you experience so many new things and it is hard to know what to do. The Bible is a great resource and a strong relationship with God is essential. It can be difficult to adjust to parenthood, but devotional time is extremely important. The book, A Gospel Primer for Christians: Learning to see the glory of God’s love by Milton Vincent is what helped me to receive nuggets of the gospel when I did not have much time or energy in the beginning of my mommy hood. I would often read it while nursing. Another tip is listening to sermons while in the shower. I would wait until Gideon’s nap time to take a shower and I could spend extra time relaxing in the shower and listening to the gospel. <br />
<u><i><br />Do you have any tips or tricks that have helped you stay organized, run your household or raise your kids more effectively?</i></u><br />
Go with the flow. Things don’t always go the way you plan or the way you want them to, but if you trust that God is in control, He will not steer you wrong. <br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5098832407748188958.post-25391789369083495322013-01-21T06:00:00.000-06:002013-01-21T06:00:07.708-06:00Get-through-your-Monday Girl Time - SuperMom Darci BrownHappy Monday, girlfriends! You used to dread Mondays, but now you love them, because you know they mean ¨Get-through-your-Monday Girl Time¨! It hasn´t gotten any easier to say, but it gets to be more and more fun every week, right? I know, the anticipation is killing you, so I will let you get to reading our latest mommy interview! This week we are hearing from my good friend Darci, who I have known since we were just wee little high schoolers on the cheerleading squad...*sigh* Now we are all grown up and mommy-fied, but Darci has a fun, laid-back style of parenting that is refreshing to be around! Her interview is light-hearted, just like she is, and the perfect thing to go with your first (or fifth, no judging here) cup of coffee this morning! Enjoy!<br />
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-Ashley<br />
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<u><i>Tell us a little bit about yourself. Who are you? </i></u><br />
My name is Darci Brown. I’m from Champaign, IL but live in Bloomington, IL now.<br />
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<u><i>Tell us about your family. </i></u><br />
I have been married to my husband, Josh for 3 years and we’ve been together 5 ½.<br />
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<u><i>How many children do you have, and what are their ages? </i></u><br />
We have one daughter, Hayli who turned 2 on 5/14. Hopefully, we’ll be having another one soon. *UPDATE: Since the time this interview was written, Darci got her wish, and is expecting a baby boy on March 16th! Congratulations, Darci!*<br />
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<u><i>This is an interview about motherhood, but your motherhood is shaped a lot by your marriage. How would you describe your relationship with your husband? </i></u><br />
I think our marriage is very typical. We definitely have our arguments and even though we might not always like each other at the end of the day we always love each other.<br />
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<u><i>What is the hardest thing about being married? </i></u><br />
I think the hardest thing is just coming up with new things to do and stuff to talk about. Keeping things new and exciting is an important part of staying together.<br />
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<u><i>What is the best thing about being married? </i></u><br />
The best thing is always having someone there for you. Whether you’re celebrating or need a shoulder to cry on you can count on your husband.<br />
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<u><i>Describe a memory between you and your husband that really stands out in your mind. </i></u><br />
The two biggest ones for me are when he proposed and our wedding day. I also love thinking about him holding Hayli in the hospital. I have a couple pictures of him holding her for the first time since I was out of it from an emergency C-section, I didn’t get to see him but I will cherish those pictures forever.<br />
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<u><i>Did your relationship with your husband change when you became parents? </i></u><br />
Yes and no. There are things that if we didn’t become parents I would have never known so I am grateful for that. I think it’s made us closer and I can’t wait to add to our family and make the bond even stronger.<br />
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<u><i>How does your parenting style compare with your husband´s? </i></u><br />
I definitely have more patience than he does. I more just let her figure things out and take her time and he wants things done right away. Other than that we’re pretty similar. <br />
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<u><i>In what ways have you changed since you became a mother? </i></u><br />
I actually don’t think I’ve changed that much. I have always wanted to be a mom and knew my whole life that I would have kids. If there’s anything that’s different I guess I’m a little more emotional but mainly just toward Hayli which I think is pretty normal.<br />
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<u><i>Describe a memory of pregnancy that stands out to you. </i></u><br />
Well, this is not the prettiest memory but it definitely stands out. I was probably 7ish months and was at the OB office for a regular appointment. They took my blood for a test after my appointment. I hate having my blood drawn and even when I’m not pregnant I can’t stand it. So after she took it I asked if I could sit there for a minute because I felt like I was going to pass out. After sitting for 5 or 10 minutes I thought I was fine. I get up; walk out of the room and towards the appointment desk to schedule my next one. Just as I’m about there I start puking. There is nowhere even close that I could throw up in so I have no choice but to do it all over the floor. Luckily, there’s a door separating the exam rooms and the waiting room so not everyone saw but it was definitely still embarrassing.<br />
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<u><i>Describe a memory of your first weeks of motherhood that stands out to you. </i></u><br />
The memory that stands out most is just sitting in her room rocking with her. She wanted nothing to do with the crib so we rocked a lot.<br />
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I<u><i>n what ways are your children similar to you? In what ways are they different from you?</i></u> <br />
She’s definitely similar to me in looks, especially in when her hair is wet in the bathtub. And she has her father’s impatience for sure.<br />
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<u><i>For each of your children, share one of your favorite memories. </i></u><br />
I can’t pick just one but my favorite thing to do with Hayli is play at the gym. She takes classes every week and I love seeing her face light up, especially when she’s jumping on the trampoline. <br />
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<u><i>Describe a moment as a mother where you felt overwhelmed. </i></u><br />
I definitely felt overwhelmed in the beginning when everything was so new and I was trying to figure out a routine.<br />
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<u><i>What are your favorite ways to relax when you need a little break? </i></u><br />
Honestly, my favorite thing to do is either just chill out and watch TV or go out shopping with Hayli.<br />
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<u><i>What has been the hardest lesson you have had to learn as a mother? </i></u><br />
The hardest lesson I’ve learned is to just relax and not get worked up about the little things. Every child is different and there is no two that do things in the same way or at the same pace and each one is a gift from God.<br />
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<u><i>What has been the hardest experience you have gone through as a mother? What did that experience teach you? </i></u><br />
The hardest experience has been getting Hayli to sleep. It’s definitely a process and there have been tears shed (mostly on her part). It has taught me patience and understanding.<br />
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<u><i>Looking back on your life as a mother, what, if anything, do you regret? </i></u><br />
I don’t think there is anything that I regret. I have loved every minute, the good and bad, and I can’t wait for what is to come and going through all the stages again with our second.<br />
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<u><i>What do you think is the most important quality in a mother? </i></u><br />
There are definitely several important qualities, one being patience and another flexibility. Being able to change your schedule or what’s going on is important. A sort of go with the flow attitude will help especially in the beginning.<br />
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<u><i>What do you think children need most from their mothers? </i></u><br />
I think the most important thing is love. They need to know that we are here no matter what and will always love them.<br />
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<u><i>What advice would you give to other mothers out there who are reading this interview? </i></u><br />
I would say just remember that you know your baby best and there is no right or wrong way; do whatever you feel is right for your child. There are a ton of excellent resources out there but the best way is to listen to God and follow your heart.<br />
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<u><i>Do you have any tips or tricks that have helped you stay organized, run your household or raise your kids more effectively? </i></u><br />
I would say just try to keep a calendar of all the important dates (appts, playdates, etc.). <br />
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<u><i>Any final thoughts you´d like to share? </i></u><br />
Don’t be afraid to ask other moms for advice. Probably 99.9% of the time there is someone else that has gone through the exact same thing you are and it can help tremendously to have someone to talk to that knows exactly how you’re feeling.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5098832407748188958.post-27737264763544469762013-01-14T06:00:00.000-06:002013-01-14T06:00:19.092-06:00Get-through-your-Monday Girl Time - SuperMom Dusty KoeppMonday, glorious Monday! Day of our favorite moment of the week: ¨Get-through-your-Monday Girl Time¨! Are you as excited as I am? Well, you should be, because today´s interview is wonderful! I´d like to introduce you to Dusty, my friend and, I guess, cousin. She is an experienced mom, and I really envy her zen-like mothering skills, considering her brood of playful and active children! I love this interview because it comes from someone who has been a mom long enough to learn those important mommy lessons, but is still human. (A desirable quality in our fellow girlfriends.) Let her advice and stories encourage you this morning, along with that caffeine burst (or whatever it is you do Monday mornings) from your super jumbo coffee cup. Enjoy!<br />
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-Ashley<u><i></i></u><br />
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<u><i>Tell us a little bit about yourself. Who are you?</i></u><br />
Growing up I didn't really have a desire to find a husband like some women do, and I didn't think I had the patience to be a mother. My perspective changed when I started dating my husband in college. He had such a strong desire to be married and have a family that God softened my heart to the idea. During college I had trouble fully committing to a field of study and eventually graduated with the major of psychology because of it's broad possibilities. Nevertheless, I could never really envision myself in my future job. Now I know it's because God had a different path for me. I've now been a stay at home mom for 6 years. I feel like I'm always learning to do my 'job' better. Two year ago when we started home schooling, I thought the kids would be doing all the learning, but God has definitely found His own teaching moments for me.<br />
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<u><i>Tell us about your family. </i></u><br />
Our family make-up is fairly traditional. First and foremost, we believe in the one true God. We strive to center our choices and child rearing on His teachings found in the Bible. With God's direction, we decided early on that I would stay home to raise and teach the children, while my husband, Jake, works outside the home. However, that's about were our traditional roles begin the blur. Jake works long and sometimes inconvenient hours. That being said, I am not a very patient or "delicate" woman and you can often find me doing some traditional husband chores (i.e. mowing & trimming the lawn) along with my other daily tasks. As a whole we try...to serve God, love others, be productive, and find time to have fun. Yes, we try. <br />
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<u><i>How many children do you have, and what are their ages?</i></u><br />
We have the privilege of raising three children (2 girls and 1 boy Ages 6, 4, 23 month old). <br />
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<u><i>This is an interview about motherhood, but your motherhood is shaped a lot by your marriage. How would you describe your relationship with your husband?</i></u><br />
Our relationship is ever changing and growing. It seems like with our busy lifestyle and three kids we often have to figure out how to relate to each other. <br />
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<u><i>What is the hardest thing about being married?</i></u><br />
Compromises. We have the hardest time making decisions everyone ends up being happy with.<br />
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<u><i>What is the best thing about being married?</i></u><br />
Not only did I marry my best friend, but he's also my gift from God and He knows that I am his. There's nothing better than the peace and joy of knowing that where I fall short God made Jake to fill in and vice versa.<br />
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<u><i>Describe a memory between you and your husband that really stands out in your mind.</i></u><br />
I remember at the end one of our first fights we both started laughing about some joke one of us made. My husband remarked,"look at us, we're laughing." I replied, "yup, as long as we can make each other laugh we'll be just fine." It was just such a relief to end our emotionally-charged disagreement with joyful laughter.<br />
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<u><i>How did your relationship with your husband change when you became parents?</i></u><br />
We became pregnant just a few months into our marriage so it's kind of hard to remember when we weren't parents, but I think our relationship became more serious. It no longer was just us. We suddenly had a family and a quickly growing one at that.<br />
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<u><i>How does your parenting style compare with your husband's?</i></u><br />
The longer we've been parents it seems like our parenting style has become more alike. However, I have more rules and I'm a more uptight about rough play. I think moms tend to think more about all the ways something could go wrong or how someone could get hurt.<br />
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<u><i>In what ways have you changed since you became a mother?</i></u><br />
I see things differently. I want to protect my children's innocence so the things I used to think were in "poor taste" are now unwelcome in my home or children's presence. <br />
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<u><i>Describe a memory of pregnancy that stands out to you.</i></u><br />
With each of our children I've strived to give birth naturally using the Bradley method, which is very birth-coach involved. With our first I was in labor for 23.5 hours, and my husband was by my side through all of it. We had three doulas aid us in the process and many nurses along with our doctor come to visit. It felt really nice to hear how well we were doing and to hear others brag on how well it all went later, but the best part was that we got to point to God's strength and glory. Without the Lord by our side, that labor could have gone in a terrible direction. It was such a blessing to have that wonderful experience with my husband as we officially became parents.<br />
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<u><i>Describe a memory of your first weeks of motherhood that stands out to you.</i></u><br />
I remember being in a weird fog after we left the hospital. I was tired, emotionally drained, and overwhelmed through those first few weeks. I remember thinking I couldn't wait for this baby to be born, but I'd love to just be pregnant again because I knew what to do then. I think it probably took a little over a month before I started feeling like myself and things felt easier.<br />
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<u><i>In what ways has your parenting style changed with each child? </i></u><br />
I've let more things go. I don't do everything according to the parenting books like I did with my first. Sometimes you have to cut corners where it's safe to so you can keep up with the things that really matter. <br />
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<u><i>In what ways are your children similar to each other and in what ways are they different? </i></u><br />
Each of them has their own personality, disposition, and preferences. Our oldest is probably the most dramatic. I blame myself a little. Being the first, I overreacted about most things. Our second born is probably the most detailed oriented and the most stubborn. She's the one that will spend the most time working on an art project and she won't leave the table till she's done. I've joked that she was stubborn from the beginning because she was five days over due and had to be induced. Our youngest is super smiley and the most physically aggressive. Everywhere we go people comment on how cute his smile is, but he is not to be crossed because he's also known by his sisters to have a mean pinch.<br />
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<u><i>In what ways are your children similar to you? In what ways are they different from you?</i></u><br />
They are pretty creative and crafty like me. The girls often ask to do projects and they all love to repurpose toys and make up new games.<br />
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However, they are all much more bold than I have ever considered myself. <br />
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<u><i>For each of your children, share one of your favorite memories.</i></u><br />
G: This past school year I remember finishing up a lesson that had been a little tough for her. When it finally clicked, she turned to me and said, "you're the best, mom."<br />
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E: She's our little gracious one. Recently, we went shopping for her big sister's birthday gift and not once did she think of herself. She continuously thought about her sister and would she would like.<br />
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A: A few months ago we went to Shell Island, Florida. As soon as he saw the ocean, he ran as fast as he could for the water. He would have dove right in if I hadn't caught him... my little adventurer.<br />
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<u><i>Describe a moment as a mother where you felt overwhelmed.</i></u><br />
Having our second child was probably my most overwhelming time. I've struggled with postpartum depression with each of our children's births, but going from one, who was 19 months, to two was the hardest.<br />
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<u><i>What are your favorite ways to relax when you need a little break?</i></u><br />
I love to have a cup of coffee and watch a creative design show or funny sitcom.<br />
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<u><i>What has been the hardest lesson you have had to learn as a mother?</i></u><br />
I can't control and protect my children from everything. Sometimes they are going to get hurt or make poor choices. In those times we just get to help with the aftermath. The only unfailing thing I can do is pray for God's covering when I can't protect them myself.<br />
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<u><i>What has been the hardest experience you have gone through as a mother? What did that experience teach you? </i></u><br />
The hardest experience I've had as a mother was losing our twin sons. Three years ago we had a miscarriage. We had two kids already. I'd had healthy pregnancies and never thought it could really happen to me. It really made me value my children in a very different way. It was also time that I<i> </i>learned to lean on the Lord and others. Other women I knew shared there stories and shoulders with me. I was so blessed by God provision and support.<br />
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<u><i>Looking back on your life as a mother, what, if anything, do you regret?</i></u><br />
Those times I've been too hard on my children. There are times I have lost my temper and had to ask my children for forgiveness. Those are the times I've had to ask the Lord to cover my mistakes.<br />
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<u><i>What do you think is the most important quality in a mother?</i></u>Patience. It's the quality I've found lacking in myself. I've often joked that patience is God's life lesson for me.<br />
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<u><i>What do you think children need most from their mothers?</i></u><br />
Encouragement. We all need encouragement, but sometimes we forget during all the correction to praise our children. Sometimes we need to catch our kids doing something good.<br />
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<u><i>What advice would you give to other mothers out there who are reading this interview?</i></u><br />
Find mentor moms, but don't be negatively comparative. Your going to make mistakes and have short comings but everyone does. Those are the times we need to choose to learn a lesson rather than beat ourselves up.<br />
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<u><i>Do you have any tips or tricks that have helped you stay organized, run your household or raise your kids more effectively?</i></u><br />
The kitchen is our house hub. I keep a wall calendar of everyone's schedule; a small bulletin board to pin notes to; a plastic file bin to hold bills and important papers. However, the best advice I can give is to take it one day at a time. Every evening I write the things I need or want to get to the following day on my dry erase board and as the day goes along I erase the things as I finish them. The advice I need to take is to be realistic about your task load. There are only 24 hours in the day and don't be too hard on yourself when you don't finish everything.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5098832407748188958.post-15713442172532384152013-01-07T06:00:00.000-06:002013-01-07T06:00:07.718-06:00Get-through-your-Monday Girl Time - SuperMom Becky GudiñoHello, friends, and happy Monday! We are officially kicking off ¨Get-through-your-Monday Girl Time¨ (a mouthful, yes, but oh so comforting!) with an interview from one of my favorite SuperMoms, Becky. Becky and her husband serve as missionaries in South America, not too far from us, and when we manage to get together with our kiddos it is, as my husband would say, ¨Super-hyper-mega¨ Girl Time! I thought it would be fitting to start off our weekly cyber girl time by sharing one of my best girl time friends with all of you! (I will need her back though.) Becky´s story is one of struggle and difficulty but also of hope and perseverance, and the grace we can find in God through our circumstances. Enjoy!<br />
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-Ashley<br />
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<u><i>Tell us a little bit about yourself. Who are you?</i></u><br />
My name is Becky and I am a special needs mom. Although I have loved each of my children profoundly, my life as a mother has been difficult. If there is any heartache in your story, then perhaps you’ll relate to mine.<br />
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<u><i>Tell us about your family. </i></u><br />
I have been married for eleven years. I was born in the United States, but grew up overseas with one older brother and missionary parents. My husband is from South America. <br />
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<u><i>How many children do you have, and what are their ages?</i></u><br />
When I’m out and about, I often get asked about my two-year old son, “Is he your only child?” For simplicity, I usually say yes, but the answer is actually no. My first daughter, SB, was born in 2005, came to us in 2006, and died in 2007. She had severe special needs, but we loved her utterly and completely. Just before SB died, we took in two foster daughters, who were later adopted by another family. So CM is my first biological son, but not my first child. <br />
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<u><i>In what ways have you changed since you became a mother?</i></u><br />
I sleep a lot less.<br />
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<u><i>Describe a memory of your first weeks of motherhood that stands out to you.</i></u><br />
The Lord has not seen fit to give me any easy children, so my first weeks were mostly full of doubt and frustration, seasoned with random moments of grace. Each of my children’s stories, and how they touched my life, is so complex - full of light, wonder, anger, and anguish - that to only mention our rough beginnings would not do any of us justice.<br />
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Instead of responding to most of the questions individually, I would like to share parts of our stories and I think the answers will be found along the way.<br />
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Child #1<br />
SB was born with severe brain damage, but I didn’t know this when I fell in love with her at an orphanage. I fought two governments and innumerable battles to get custody of her, and only ultimately succeeded with a lot of divine intervention. Looking back, how much of it was God, and how much of it was my own need to be needed… I don’t know. But as Prov. 10:12 says, “…love covers all sins.” That is the verse I hold onto when I think of being SB’s mother. <br />
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Life with SB was all-consuming. I felt overwhelmed with her every single day. She needed to eat every two hours, but she would often throw up which meant we would have to start all over. It took a special knack, lots of time, and incredible patience to feed her or give her a bottle. She only slept for four hours total a day (with medication), and if we ever put her down, she would go into convulsions. My husband and I took turns holding her 20/7. I would stay up with her until 1 am, and then my husband would get up with her around 5 pm, or earlier on a bad night. When holding her, we lived in an office chair that swiveled, because for the motion and frequently changing how we held her, kept her from going into convulsions. <br />
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But this is not who she was. She was our first child, a miracle. She loved us, cried if someone else held her, and was glad every day when her daddy came home from work. Her life was an unforgettable testimony of love.<br />
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How was she different from me? She was black and completely blind.<br />
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What do I regret? Not being there when she died. Although it’s a short sentence, it contains a world of grief.<br />
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Favorite memory? The day my husband taught her to give kisses.<br />
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Children #2 and #3<br />
A month before SB’s unexpected death, an orphanage that was closing contacted us and asked if we’d be willing to care for two sibling girls (2.5 and 3.5) until they were adopted. Since we were already caring for SB (which we expected to be a lifelong commitment), we thought, “Sure, why not two more?” They had severe attachment issues, but we worked through many things and love began to grow. <br />
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Unfortunately, while they lived with us, my personal life was falling apart (due to various older issues that came to light at the same time). I felt that I could not offer them a permanent stable home, so even though I wanted to, I did not pursue adoption when they were first placed with us. After a year and a half, things got much worse in my life and to save my marriage, I felt that I had to give them up. With a heavy heart, I made arrangements for them to go and live with someone else. I didn’t realize how deeply I loved them until after they left for school that final day and never came home. What did I tell them those last days? I don’t remember, but whatever it was, it wasn’t enough. <br />
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Slowly I began to find healing, and I prayed as never before that the girls would be returned to me. When I finally pursued it with my husband’s blessing, I was told that they were no longer available to us. They were adopted 8 months after we gave them up by a family in the United States. This family has chosen to have zero contact with us. The grief I feel over their loss is ongoing, compounded by feelings of guilt and regret for all of the things I wished I’d done differently. My biggest regret is giving them up. <br />
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I pray that somehow, there will be more to our story and that one day I will see them again. The verse I hold on to for them is Isaiah 61:7, “Instead of your shame you shall have double honor, and instead of confusion they shall rejoice in their portion. Therefore in their land they shall possess double; everlasting joy shall be theirs.”<br />
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Favorite memories? Doing their hair in the mornings, holding their small hands as we walked along, and hearing them call me Mami.<br />
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Child #4<br />
My son, CM, was born in 2009, three months after the girls were adopted. He was a very colicky baby, intense and determined from the moment he was born. It took us 3 months to work out our nursing problems, and to this day he’s still not a good sleeper. In our journey to figure out why everything tends to be complicated with him, so far we’ve come up with sensory processing disorder (SPD) and food allergies (dairy, corn, and wheat). I am very thankful for everything I learned with SB and the girls, because I have used it all and more with CM. <br />
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But as with SB, CM’s challenges do not define who he is, nor lessen our love for him. He is an amazing little guy, full of energy, curiosity, and affection. I call him my buddy, and he has been such a blessing to me. His verse is Isaiah 60:22, “A little one shall become a thousand, and a small one a strong nation…” because I am convinced that I am raising a future leader. With his incredible focus and force of will, I believe he’ll dominate whatever field he chooses to pursue. I tell him, “You’re a little prince, and someday you’ll grow up to be king.” I tell myself on the hard days, what if I knew for sure I was raising the next president, CEO, or father of a family, what would I teach him and how would I act? He hasn’t lost any of his intensity, but I am trying to channel it into compassion, wisdom, courage, and self-control.<br />
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Favorite memory? I have a little rhyme I say to him, “I love you when you’re good and I love you when you’re bad, I love you when you’re happy and I love you when you’re sad, I love you when you’re angry and I love you when you’re mad. I love you all the time, no matter what.” The other day, he started saying it back to me, but only got, “I love you when you’re bad, I love you when you’re happy, I love you all the time.” Then he went around saying, “I love you all the time,” several times that afternoon. None of my first three children ever said they loved me, even though I believe they each did in their own way. So after doing the mom thing for 5 years, it was nice to finally hear it.<br />
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Child #5<br />
Despite everything, as time passed I began to want another child (adopted or biological), but I was no longer sure if we could handle more. One day in February when things were looking particularly hopeless, I felt a quiet voice in my spirit say to me, “By this time next year, you will have a baby.” And like Sarah, I laughed. It seemed the furthest thing from possible; we could barely stay afloat some days just caring for CM. But as I did my devotions over the next few weeks, it kept coming up, a quiet impression on my mind as I read about Samson’s mother and Hannah. <br />
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At the end of May two home pregnancy tests said I wasn’t pregnant, but a certain expected event still didn’t happen, so I decided to get a blood test done to know once and for all. It was positive! For many reasons that I cannot really explain, this baby is such a miracle and a sign of grace from God. It was no surprise to me that he/she is due early in February. My prayer for this child is, “Please, Lord, may I have an easy one, just once?”<br />
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<u><i>What do you think is the most important quality in a mother? What do you think children need most from their mothers?</i></u><br />
What my children have needed the most has been love, shown through perseverance, patience, creativity, selflessness, and consistency.<br />
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<u><i>What has been the hardest experience you have gone through as a mother? What did that experience teach you?</i></u><br />
Death and loss. I’ve learned that some things will not be completely healed until heaven.<br />
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<u><i>What are your favorite ways to relax when you need a little break?</i></u><br />
Reading, a hot shower, and blogging at <a href="http://adventuresandtrials.blogspot.com/">adventuresandtrials.blogspot.com</a><br />
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<u><i>What advice would you give to other mothers out there who are reading this interview?</i></u><br />
Please be compassionate instead of judgmental, as we all have battles to fight. We are all villains and heroines at some point in the tale.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5098832407748188958.post-10141923880394099502012-12-31T10:07:00.003-06:002013-04-01T00:21:42.790-06:00New Series: SuperMom!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I´m finally getting ready to publish my newest series, and it´s one I´m especially excited about!<br />
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This series is to kick off a new thing I´m doing on here called ¨Get-through-your-Monday Girl Time¨! I will be posting something specifically for women every Monday morning, for a little ¨girl time¨ to start the week. I, and other women, will be writing things on here to uplift and encourage you, and help you feel connected to other women, no matter where on the globe you currently find yourself. This idea was born from my own personal need for girl time, and lack of nearby girlfriends as I serve on the mission field in Ecuador.<br />
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To kick off this special new Monday Girl Time, I´ve developed a new series. The series is called SuperMom: Undercover. I interviewed a handful of moms that I love and admire, because I want to share them with you! <br />
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This post is a sort of preface to the interviews that I will be publishing each week. As you read the interviews, what I hope is that these moms give you some encouragement about your own motherhood, if you´re a mother, or womanhood, if you´re a woman who hasn´t embarked on the journey of motherhood.<br />
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These women are not famous. This blog might be the first time you´ve ever heard of them. But they deserve to be recognized; not because they´re perfect, or have it all together, but because they are real moms, who make mistakes, and try their best to keep going and honor God. Their houses may or may not be completely organized, their laundry may or may not be done. They might be homeschool moms, or public school moms, or private school moms. They might be stay-at-home moms, or students or carreer women. They might be biological moms, adoptive moms or foster moms. They might be special needs moms. They might be moms who have suffered through miscarriage or the loss of a child. Their stories are all different, but they have this in common: They work hard every day to be a better mom than they were yesterday, to give their children what they need, many times at the cost of high personal sacrifice, and they don´t give up, even when being a mother is the hardest thing they´ve ever done.<br />
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These women don´t think of themselves as ¨super moms¨ at all. Most of them made a point of telling me that. They are painfully aware of their shortcomings, just like you and I are. They struggle to set aside selfishness and insecurity. They sometimes go to bed feeling like a failure.<br />
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Sound familiar?<br />
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I want to share these women with you because they are extraordinary. In a world where being a stay-at-home mom has become a competitive career, where Pinterest and blogs make you feel inadequate because you aren´t saving toilet paper rolls to turn into art or you aren´t teaching your one-week-old baby how to read, I think we could all use a dose of reality. Here are real moms, sharing their real lives with you, in the hopes that you will be encouraged to be who you are, to stop being so hard on yourself (if you figure out how, let us know!), and to just love your kids while you have them. They grow up too fast, and what we regret won´t be that we didn´t make edible finger paints for them. When we look back on motherhood, we want to know that we did our best, that we loved our children, that we taught them the most important lessons, and that when we give our accounting to God for how we raised them, He will say to us, ¨Well done!¨<br />
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You can find the links to each interview here, as I post them, starting next Monday, January 7th:<br />
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<a href="http://married-at-21.blogspot.com/2013/01/get-through-your-monday-girl-time.html" target="_blank">Becky Gudiño</a><br />
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<a href="http://married-at-21.blogspot.com/2013/01/get-through-your-monday-girl-time_14.html" target="_blank">Dusty Koepp</a><br />
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<a href="http://married-at-21.blogspot.com/2013/01/get-through-your-monday-girl-time_21.html" target="_blank">Darci Brown</a><br />
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<a href="http://married-at-21.blogspot.com/2013/01/get-through-your-monday-girl-time_28.html" target="_blank">Kimbre Varney</a><br />
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<a href="http://married-at-21.blogspot.com/2013/02/get-through-your-monday-girl-time.html" target="_blank">Jessica Llancafil</a><br />
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<a href="http://married-at-21.blogspot.com/2013/02/get-through-your-monday-girl-time_11.html" target="_blank">Julia Rodrick</a><br />
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<a href="http://married-at-21.blogspot.com/2013/02/get-through-your-monday-girl-time_18.html" target="_blank">Teresa Legere</a><br />
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<a href="http://married-at-21.blogspot.com/2013/02/get-through-your-monday-girl-time_25.html" target="_blank">Allison Bohn</a><br />
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<a href="http://married-at-21.blogspot.com/2013/03/get-through-your-monday-girl-time.html" target="_blank">Theresa Fuller</a><br />
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<a href="http://married-at-21.blogspot.com/2013/03/get-through-your-monday-girl-time_11.html" target="_blank">Catherine Allison</a><br />
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<a href="http://married-at-21.blogspot.com/2013/03/get-through-your-monday-girl-time_18.html" target="_blank">Gretchen Castro</a><br />
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<a href="http://married-at-21.blogspot.com/2013/03/get-through-yourmonday-girl-time.html" target="_blank">Jeanne Gant</a><br />
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Tiffany Nardoni<br />
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Mariela Velasco Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5098832407748188958.post-8987639649662263492012-12-19T17:04:00.001-06:002012-12-29T23:06:48.669-06:00An Eternal Christmas GiftThis Christmas, are you happy with the gifts you have gotten for your loved ones? While we each open our many gifts on Christmas morning, there are children all over the world who will not open so much as one present. They will receive abuse, neglect and poverty instead of hearing and feeling the love of Christ. You can help change that! For a one-time gift of $20 you can change this Christmas for one child, and provide a toy and/or clothes for that child, as well as the opportunity to not only hear about God´s love, but experience it as well. Just email us at revolution_ministries_ec@hotmail.com for more information!!<br />
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