-Ashley
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Tell us a little bit about yourself. Who are you?
My name is Jessica Paola, I was born in Trelew in Chubut Province, a city in the south of my country known as the Argentine Patagonia. I am 21!
I am a mom, a wife, a student, and a servant of God´s Word. With all of that, I have a lot of activities and sometimes I get worn out. I travel a lot, and I study through a distance learning program which requires dedication and effort.
Tell us about your family.
My family is made up of 7 people, my mom Mirian who is 40, my dad Raúl who is 45, and my 3 sisters and just one brother.
From the age of 5 my parents came to know God, and since then we believe in Him.
I have my own family two, since I have been married for 2 years. My husband´s name is Jonatan, he is 25 and was born in Bogotá, Colombia. Together we lead a ministry which has blessed hundreds and thousands of people, and with our young age we have learned that age is not an obstacle for anyone who has a dream, and even less when God calls them.
My husband and I met in Argentina, when I was 18 and he was 21. We fell in love and in 2010 we were married.
How many children do you have, and what are their ages?
I have just one son, the apple of my eye. He is 1 and a half.
This is an interview about motherhood, but your motherhood is shaped a lot by your marriage. How would you describe your relationship with your husband?
My relationship with my husband is really good. I think we both have qualities in common, and one that is very important is dialogue. We both believe that to avoid problems, arguments, and other issues, the most important thing is dialogue. We get along really well, thank God, and we have a lot in common, including that we both love soccer.
What is the hardest thing about being married?
When we were first married, we had language differences, since we are from two different cultures. Many times we didn´t realize that the other person could be offended by a word that in your own culture is considered normal. But those things happened at the beginning, and thanks to God we have been getting through it. I think the hardest part of our marriage were the first three months.
Being married is complex, that implies adapting in everything, maybe getting rid of aspects of our attitudes and personalities is the hardest part.
What is the best thing about being married?
The affection and the companionship. We love to be together and support each other. We both have our own dreams and dreams in common, but when we carry out those individual dreams we support each other as if those dreams were our own. Also, in our marriage and our home there is lots of dialogue and affection, and that´s the nicest part.
Describe a memory between you and your husband that really stands out in your mind.
The moment we got engaged.
On one of our walks, of which we had a few while dating, on the beach, we decided to get married and got engaged. I remember that after that I didn´t see him for several months because he had to go on a long trip and was out of the country.
One afternoon on September 9th, sitting on the dock of the beach we made the most important decision of our lives, and we used pretend rings...ha! I will never forget it!
How did your relationship with your husband change when you became parents?
It got much better. A lot of things changed for the better when our baby came that really changed our lives.
We became much more united, a child can really mature a relationship...our character, time and dedication became strengths for our marriage.
How does your parenting style compare with your husband´s?
Well, it´s similar, although he is more of a disciplinarian, and I like to give second chances. Our baby is really active, so he makes lots of messes, and his dad tends to punish him more or challenge him, but I spoil him more, I correct him, but I spoil him, too.
In other ways our parenting styles are similar, we try to get him to eat well, we let him experiment.
In what ways have you changed since you became a mother?
Wow, I really changed 100%. I think the fact that I am a mom has made me stronger in every way, my way of seeing life changed. I am happier, I enjoy all of the little details of life, which I didn´t do before.
Since my baby was born I see myself as capable of much more. I was always a multitasker, but now I think I can do much more...I feel able to fight for things I wouldn´t have before. It´s impressive, but a child has the capacity to change a person´s whole life.
Describe a memory of pregnancy that stands out to you.
Here I could describe so many, but I will share one. At 3 and a half months of pregnancy the baby kicked for the first time and wouldn´t stop kicking. No one believed me, not even the doctor, because she said he was still too small...but it was such a unique sensation that I cried and I felt so excited that my baby wanted to communicate with me. It was beautiful and I will never forget it.
Describe a memory of your first weeks of motherhood that stands out to you.
I remember that my baby was born and slept all day and all night, he wouldn´t even nurse, he just slept. I almost didn´t sleep, trying to look after him, seeing if he woke up, making sure he could breathe, checking his diaper...haha...it was beautiful. After about three days his cycle changed and he wouldn´t let me sleep at night, he would sleep during the day and come alive at night...haha. I remember even wetting his face to wake him up and even that didn´t work. But thank God it only lasted about a week.
What would you do differently in the future if you have more children?
From the beginning I would let the baby sleep in the crib. That was a mistake I made, although luckily nothing has happened while he has slept, but he still sleeps with us. He got used to feeling us next to him to be able to sleep.
Describe your child´s personality.
Elías Jair has a very set character. I think the fact that we travel all the time with him, and he is around adults, has made his personality develop quickly, in some ways very different than other babies. He is very adaptable, to different climates, places, food, people.
He´s a baby that, when he doesn´t like someone, is totally serious, and it makes me laugh because nothing will get him to smile. But if he likes you he is super sweet. His personality is really well-defined.
In what ways are your children similar to you? In what ways are they different from you?
My baby is like me in lots of ways: His sleeping position (which I won´t share, haha) is just like mine, his laugh, he is affectionate, he is cranky all day if he doesn´t sleep well, his eyes and eyelashes are like mine, he loves ice cream...amongst other things.
For each of your children, share one of your favorite memories.
I store away all of my memories with love. The truth is that I have stored up so many memories in my mind and heart, but I will just pick one that came to mind right now...The day he started walking. I remember his joy, his face was so happy because he took his first steps, he looked surprised and smiled when he saw everyone looking at him...He took his first steps walking over to a young girl...It was one of the most exciting moments.
Describe a moment as a mother where you felt overwhelmed.
Those times when the baby doesn´t want anyone but momma, and he doesn´t let me get anything done...I can´t eat, go anywhere, it´s uncomfortable and exhausting. There have been lots of days when I needed to do homework or laundry and my son wouldn´t let me. A lot of times I run out of patience. Being a mom is hard work, not easy at all.
There are moments when you want to run away, be alone, with no noise and nobody counting on you every second.
What are your favorite ways to relax when you need a little break?
The only way I can relax is being with my family, without talking about work, money, contacts, trips...just enjoying the love of our family, eating an ice cream, snuggling together in bed...that is so nice...a few hours like that and I´m as good as new.
What has been the hardest lesson you have had to learn as a mother?
A lesson that life teaches all moms, that we´re not in control of things. As a mom we would like to have everything under control; the health of our children, their development, growth and lots of other things, but life teaches us that we can´t be everywhere at once. Life teaches us that our children get sick, even though we don´t want them to, and they have accidents, even though it hurts us, and they cry, even though we wish we could avoid it. That is the most difficult lesson that I am still learning, that I can´t control everything, which is why I always place my family in God´s hands.
Looking back on your life as a mother, what, if anything, do you regret?
Honestly I don´t regret anything. Being a mom has been God´s best gift to me on this earth, and I wouldn´t change it for anything and I´m not sorry for any of it. I know that as a mom sometimes we have to go through not-so-pleasant things, but I´m the one in charge of taking the stones out of the path, along with God´s help.
What do you think is the most important quality in a mother?
I think all mothers need extreme patience and love. I think that our children go through different stages and grow in maturity, and you can´t avoid it, but with patience we learn to get through it and go through those stages with our children.
What do you think children need most from their mothers?
A good example. Children learn from everything they see and hear. When a child is growing, his sense of perception gets sharper and sharper. Everything they see, even if we aren´t necessarily teaching them, they learn. I think it´s good to talk to them, but it´s also good to give a good example in all that we do. Tomorrow they will be everything they saw in mom and dad.
What advice would you give to other mothers out there who are reading this interview?
The first big piece of advice is that we always have to rely on God´s help, because without Him we can´t do anything.
For those women who aren´t moms yet, but are about to be or want to be someday, don´t be nervous about labor or start yelling. Although there is some inevitable pain in that moment, try to enjoy the moment and keep in mind that the pain will be over soon.
Although as a woman we always have a thousand things to do each day, look after our husbands, work, buy groceries, travel, study, and other things...always take time out to observe all the details in your children, because time flies so fast and you can´t get it back...Enjoy every stage, every smile and cry, enjoy being a mother. We should earn the title of mother every day.
Try to give your children good things, good advice, good nutrition...and how great it is if we can teach them more than one language...the time in life when the brain absorbs the most information is in childhood...teach your children wisdom, because what children learn will shape their lives forever.
Above all things, put your children in God´s hands each day. He does what we can´t do, and it´s God who looks after them at all times.
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