Ok, it wasn´t a big deal, but there was an earthquake outside of Quito this morning. It lasted about 5 seconds according to news reports. It was a 4.0 on the Richter scale. If you read Spanish, you can read about it here.
It was my first earthquake! Not necessarily on my list of things to do before I die, but it was interesting. We were close enough to feel pretty significant trembling but not close enough for things to fall off the walls. I think had that happened I would have been a lot more freaked out!
Anyway, just thought I would share! :)
Saturday, October 29, 2011
Friday, October 28, 2011
30 Days to Being a Purposeful Mommy, Day 30
Day 30: Be the Person you Want your Kids to Become
Can you believe this is the end of our series? I hope it has been an encouragement to you! As I re-read these posts I am inspired to improve in many areas, because these little lessons are ones I think I will never stop perfecting.
We have come full circle, and in some ways are back where we started, hopefully a little wiser and more inspired and purposeful than we were 30 posts ago.
I know as mothers we have big dreams for our little ones, however ¨little¨ they may be. I am a big believer that we cannot expect others to do what we are not willing or able to do, no matter how good our intentions may be. So today´s advice is simple, yet hard to do.
Every day, take a look at what you are thinking, saying and doing. Are these things you would be proud to see or hear your child repeating, or would you be embarassed or dissappointed? Don´t buy into the ¨do as I say and not as I do¨ nonsense. Go for the ¨monkey see, monkey do¨ philosophy, and be the best person you can be, for their sakes and your own. And as you realize each day in what areas you have failed, realize as well that if you cannot be perfect, neither can your children.
Decide what things matter most to you, and act them out in your daily life. The truth is that a purposeful mommy is first and foremost a purposeful person. When you live your life with purpose, conviction and high expectations, every other role you play will follow suit. If you are a person of integrity and character, your children will be as much influenced by your example as by your words and discipline to them.
Thank you for joining me on this path to purposeful motherhood! It has been a challege to write for you, but I hope it was worth it. Let me know what you thought of our first series!
Can you believe this is the end of our series? I hope it has been an encouragement to you! As I re-read these posts I am inspired to improve in many areas, because these little lessons are ones I think I will never stop perfecting.
We have come full circle, and in some ways are back where we started, hopefully a little wiser and more inspired and purposeful than we were 30 posts ago.
I know as mothers we have big dreams for our little ones, however ¨little¨ they may be. I am a big believer that we cannot expect others to do what we are not willing or able to do, no matter how good our intentions may be. So today´s advice is simple, yet hard to do.
Every day, take a look at what you are thinking, saying and doing. Are these things you would be proud to see or hear your child repeating, or would you be embarassed or dissappointed? Don´t buy into the ¨do as I say and not as I do¨ nonsense. Go for the ¨monkey see, monkey do¨ philosophy, and be the best person you can be, for their sakes and your own. And as you realize each day in what areas you have failed, realize as well that if you cannot be perfect, neither can your children.
Decide what things matter most to you, and act them out in your daily life. The truth is that a purposeful mommy is first and foremost a purposeful person. When you live your life with purpose, conviction and high expectations, every other role you play will follow suit. If you are a person of integrity and character, your children will be as much influenced by your example as by your words and discipline to them.
Thank you for joining me on this path to purposeful motherhood! It has been a challege to write for you, but I hope it was worth it. Let me know what you thought of our first series!
30 Days to Being a Purposeful Mommy, Day 29
Day 29: Remember Why you Do what you Do!
The root of being a purposeful mommy is remembering our motivation. If our motivation is just getting through the day (trust me, we have all been there!), then being purposeful in our parenting is nearly impossible. We need a much bigger reason to help us through those moments when naptime seems way too far away.
Whether you planned to have your children or you were just blessed with having them unplanned, I know that once you held them in your arms you realized that there was a part of you that you never knew was empty, and now it is full. Being a mother gives us an eternal purpose and calling, and allows us to love more deeply and selflessly than we ever knew possible.
Even so, there are many challenging moments where you might be tempted to wonder if it was all worth it. Tomorrow, when your children are angels again, or at least human, you will come to your senses and all will be well. But today maybe you have trouble getting perspective.
Remember that when no other motivation seems to get you through the day, there is one all-important reason to keep doing what you´re doing instead of shipping them off to boarding school. The Bible tells us that children are entrusted to us by God, like a loan, and He expects to reap dividends on His investment. He tailor made our children for our families, with the perfect mix of what will help us grow as people and what will be the best environment for our children, should we realize our potential to train them up in the way they should go. Being a mother is a difficult job, but it is eternally important, because we will answer to God for every moment with our precious little bundles of joy. When we understand the eternal significance of today, we will take great care that our thoughts, words and actions are those which are pleasing to God and that is the definition of purposeful parenting.
The root of being a purposeful mommy is remembering our motivation. If our motivation is just getting through the day (trust me, we have all been there!), then being purposeful in our parenting is nearly impossible. We need a much bigger reason to help us through those moments when naptime seems way too far away.
Whether you planned to have your children or you were just blessed with having them unplanned, I know that once you held them in your arms you realized that there was a part of you that you never knew was empty, and now it is full. Being a mother gives us an eternal purpose and calling, and allows us to love more deeply and selflessly than we ever knew possible.
Even so, there are many challenging moments where you might be tempted to wonder if it was all worth it. Tomorrow, when your children are angels again, or at least human, you will come to your senses and all will be well. But today maybe you have trouble getting perspective.
Remember that when no other motivation seems to get you through the day, there is one all-important reason to keep doing what you´re doing instead of shipping them off to boarding school. The Bible tells us that children are entrusted to us by God, like a loan, and He expects to reap dividends on His investment. He tailor made our children for our families, with the perfect mix of what will help us grow as people and what will be the best environment for our children, should we realize our potential to train them up in the way they should go. Being a mother is a difficult job, but it is eternally important, because we will answer to God for every moment with our precious little bundles of joy. When we understand the eternal significance of today, we will take great care that our thoughts, words and actions are those which are pleasing to God and that is the definition of purposeful parenting.
30 Days to Being a Purposeful Mommy, Day 28
Day 28: Teach your Kids the Value of Hard Work
From the time they are little, kids should have appropriate chores around the house, with whatever kind of compensation seems good to you. (Incidently, a small allowance can teach great lessons about money management and savings.) This kind of work is rewarding in and of itself, as we learn to value the satisfaction of a job well done and a clean, neat house. This of course means we ought to value hard work ourselves!
On a spiritual level, learning to value wholesome work is very important. The Bible warns many times in Proverbs about the dangers of laziness, and as they say, idle hands are the devil´s workshop. A person who is lazy in life will most likely be lazy in spiritual disciplines as well, and that is extremely damaging to a person. Take it from someone who has had to overcome these bad habits of laziness herself! Shocking, I know!
I read in a great book what one mom did in regards to encouraging good work habits and I loved it. TV is probably one of the biggest time-stealers and promoters of laziness that we all have in our homes. Instead of limiting TV time and using it as a reward (reinforcing the idea that TV is great while work is no fun), this author only let her daughters watch TV while they were doing something else. For example, they could sit down to knit or fold laundry, and then when their hands found nothing left to do, the TV went off and they had to go find a new activity. The result, she says, is that her children now value the TV very little, and would much rather be productive. Work is more rewarding than a day spent watching TV.
Think about your child´s average day. Is there a lot of dead time in front of the TV or video games? Is there a lot of sleeping in? Maybe it´s time to make some changes and promote wholesome work at home, to help our children grow and become prepared for the life they will have when they set off to be adults!
From the time they are little, kids should have appropriate chores around the house, with whatever kind of compensation seems good to you. (Incidently, a small allowance can teach great lessons about money management and savings.) This kind of work is rewarding in and of itself, as we learn to value the satisfaction of a job well done and a clean, neat house. This of course means we ought to value hard work ourselves!
On a spiritual level, learning to value wholesome work is very important. The Bible warns many times in Proverbs about the dangers of laziness, and as they say, idle hands are the devil´s workshop. A person who is lazy in life will most likely be lazy in spiritual disciplines as well, and that is extremely damaging to a person. Take it from someone who has had to overcome these bad habits of laziness herself! Shocking, I know!
I read in a great book what one mom did in regards to encouraging good work habits and I loved it. TV is probably one of the biggest time-stealers and promoters of laziness that we all have in our homes. Instead of limiting TV time and using it as a reward (reinforcing the idea that TV is great while work is no fun), this author only let her daughters watch TV while they were doing something else. For example, they could sit down to knit or fold laundry, and then when their hands found nothing left to do, the TV went off and they had to go find a new activity. The result, she says, is that her children now value the TV very little, and would much rather be productive. Work is more rewarding than a day spent watching TV.
Think about your child´s average day. Is there a lot of dead time in front of the TV or video games? Is there a lot of sleeping in? Maybe it´s time to make some changes and promote wholesome work at home, to help our children grow and become prepared for the life they will have when they set off to be adults!
30 Days to Being a Purposeful Mommy, Day 27
Day 27: Model Communication
Depending on your own upbringing, modeling good communication in your family might be a challenge. However, it´s better that you teach your children to communicate even if it´s hard for you, because as adults you don´t want it to be hard for them.
I have seen examples of good communication and poor communication in many people. One person I know will almost never apologize, or even acknowledge a disagreement as having taken place. Moments after an argument, this person will simply act like nothing ever happened. Sweeping things under the rug will not help anything! It only teaches us to bottle up our feelings and we all know what will happen eventually--BOOM!
Another person I know will just become passive agressive at every turn when she is upset. This behavior will continue until she gets over it, and you will never know what you did to upset her!
Most of these kinds of disfunctions come from our own upbringing, which is all the more reason to learn to be communicators ourselves and not perpetuate the cycle in our children. Here are some basic starting points:
- Apologize to your kids when you´re in the wrong, and teach them to apologize as well.
- Teach them to communicate feelings (When you do this, I feel......)
- Teach them to talk about everything, whether it be the events of the day or a book they´re reading. Good communication in one area will encourage good communication in others.
- Encourage more than one-word answers.
- Explain your feelings to your children. (where appropriate)
- Teach your children to name their feelings. (Are you sad right now? Are you frustrated? Etc.)
And these are just tips. You can expand on them as you go. The important thing is to communicate! So grab a kid and get chatting!
Depending on your own upbringing, modeling good communication in your family might be a challenge. However, it´s better that you teach your children to communicate even if it´s hard for you, because as adults you don´t want it to be hard for them.
I have seen examples of good communication and poor communication in many people. One person I know will almost never apologize, or even acknowledge a disagreement as having taken place. Moments after an argument, this person will simply act like nothing ever happened. Sweeping things under the rug will not help anything! It only teaches us to bottle up our feelings and we all know what will happen eventually--BOOM!
Another person I know will just become passive agressive at every turn when she is upset. This behavior will continue until she gets over it, and you will never know what you did to upset her!
Most of these kinds of disfunctions come from our own upbringing, which is all the more reason to learn to be communicators ourselves and not perpetuate the cycle in our children. Here are some basic starting points:
- Apologize to your kids when you´re in the wrong, and teach them to apologize as well.
- Teach them to communicate feelings (When you do this, I feel......)
- Teach them to talk about everything, whether it be the events of the day or a book they´re reading. Good communication in one area will encourage good communication in others.
- Encourage more than one-word answers.
- Explain your feelings to your children. (where appropriate)
- Teach your children to name their feelings. (Are you sad right now? Are you frustrated? Etc.)
And these are just tips. You can expand on them as you go. The important thing is to communicate! So grab a kid and get chatting!
30 Days to Being a Purposeful Mommy, Day 26
Day 26: Form Family Traditions
Most of us probably remember certain family traditions that we enjoyed with our families growing up. In my husband´s case, he remembers that certain days of the week they got to eat special foods, and when his dad travelled out of town he always brought them special snacks. In my case, my favorite family traditions were our Christmastime traditions, like making Christmas cookies and decorating them, making a special Christmas ornament or reading the Christmas story from Luke before we opened presents.
Some traditions from your childhood you may want to carry over, and others you might want to invent. It doesn´t matter if it´s as simple as chocolate chip cookies on Friday night or as complicated as a yearly trip to the same place. Traditions are part of what makes childhood so fun, because children anticipate fun things for a long time leading up to the moment. And when we are older, traditions give us a sense of nostalgia and happiness in our memories, even if other parts of our lives were chaotic.
As the mommy, the job of making family traditions will almost always fall to you. Embrace it and have some fun! Be creative, taking into account your family´s unique style and personality. Your kids will look back on those traditions and smile, and the shared memories will only enhance the bonds of family in your home.
Most of us probably remember certain family traditions that we enjoyed with our families growing up. In my husband´s case, he remembers that certain days of the week they got to eat special foods, and when his dad travelled out of town he always brought them special snacks. In my case, my favorite family traditions were our Christmastime traditions, like making Christmas cookies and decorating them, making a special Christmas ornament or reading the Christmas story from Luke before we opened presents.
Some traditions from your childhood you may want to carry over, and others you might want to invent. It doesn´t matter if it´s as simple as chocolate chip cookies on Friday night or as complicated as a yearly trip to the same place. Traditions are part of what makes childhood so fun, because children anticipate fun things for a long time leading up to the moment. And when we are older, traditions give us a sense of nostalgia and happiness in our memories, even if other parts of our lives were chaotic.
As the mommy, the job of making family traditions will almost always fall to you. Embrace it and have some fun! Be creative, taking into account your family´s unique style and personality. Your kids will look back on those traditions and smile, and the shared memories will only enhance the bonds of family in your home.
30 Days to Being a Purposeful Mommy, Day 25
Day 25: Smile!
You know, turn that frown upside-down!
Ok, sorry for that. But this really is my advice for today. Kids are excellent little psychologists, and instanly know when something is wrong in your world. They are also wonderfully spongelike, and will soak up that bad mood in an instant, perpetuating the cycle of a bad day. So what to do?
Just smile! Look at your kids, think about how much you love them, and whip out a smile. Or a funny dance. Or a silly face. Turn that bad day upside-down. You´ll be glad you did. And when all else fails, sit in a big mixing bowl. It sure cracks Bella up.
You know, turn that frown upside-down!
Ok, sorry for that. But this really is my advice for today. Kids are excellent little psychologists, and instanly know when something is wrong in your world. They are also wonderfully spongelike, and will soak up that bad mood in an instant, perpetuating the cycle of a bad day. So what to do?
Just smile! Look at your kids, think about how much you love them, and whip out a smile. Or a funny dance. Or a silly face. Turn that bad day upside-down. You´ll be glad you did. And when all else fails, sit in a big mixing bowl. It sure cracks Bella up.
30 Days to Being a Purposeful Mommy, Day 24
Day 24: Go Get some Lovin´!!
Today´s post is brought to you by Isabella:
Bella was tired of waiting for her daddy to get up this morning, so she decided to just climb into bed with him and get her cuddle on.
Do you ever feel like you just really need a hug? Go get one! Just go grab one of those munchkins and get your cuddle on. If they protest, just start a tickle fight with them or something. Unless they are teenagers. Then you might want to pick your battles. Ha.
Today´s post is brought to you by Isabella:
Do you ever feel like you just really need a hug? Go get one! Just go grab one of those munchkins and get your cuddle on. If they protest, just start a tickle fight with them or something. Unless they are teenagers. Then you might want to pick your battles. Ha.
30 Days to Being a Purposeful Mommy, Day 23
Day 23: Say ¨I love you¨!
I was shocked to learn when I got married that there are actually families in this world who do not say ¨I love you¨ to each other every day. When I was growing up, we always told each other ¨I love you¨. Before bed, before hanging up the phone, before someone left to go somewhere, and just randomly, too, we made sure to say those three little words.
In my husband´s family, however, they hardly ever say those words. And despite having a wonderful family full of people who obviously love him, my husband still doubts their love for him. He feels their love is conditional, and can be revoked at any moment based on some personal failure.
I think of the two options, the better one is to overuse these words rather than to underuse them. I would rather my kids (and my husband) be sick of hearing how much I love them and how proud I am of them rather than to ever have the smallest doubt of my love.
No matter how old your kids are, it´s never too late (or too early) to start telling them what´s on your heart. It doesn´t matter if they reciprocate or not. Just say it. Say it often. Say it every day. Make it a habit. You won´t regret it, and you will be laying the groundwork for a sense of security that will last until adulthood.
I was shocked to learn when I got married that there are actually families in this world who do not say ¨I love you¨ to each other every day. When I was growing up, we always told each other ¨I love you¨. Before bed, before hanging up the phone, before someone left to go somewhere, and just randomly, too, we made sure to say those three little words.
In my husband´s family, however, they hardly ever say those words. And despite having a wonderful family full of people who obviously love him, my husband still doubts their love for him. He feels their love is conditional, and can be revoked at any moment based on some personal failure.
I think of the two options, the better one is to overuse these words rather than to underuse them. I would rather my kids (and my husband) be sick of hearing how much I love them and how proud I am of them rather than to ever have the smallest doubt of my love.
No matter how old your kids are, it´s never too late (or too early) to start telling them what´s on your heart. It doesn´t matter if they reciprocate or not. Just say it. Say it often. Say it every day. Make it a habit. You won´t regret it, and you will be laying the groundwork for a sense of security that will last until adulthood.
30 Days to Being a Purposeful Mommy, Day 22
Day 22: Don´t Expect a Thank You
Any mother who is waiting for a thank you from her husband or children is setting herself up for disappointment. It´s not that you will never get thank yous, but you will absolutely not get them as often as you would like or deserve. Plus, waiting for a thank you indicates a problem in our motivation.
Being a mother is the ultimate test of selfless service that there is, and it is generally a fairly thankless job. If we are doing all we do in the hopes of some kind of compensation, we are missing the mark. The job of being a mother is to reflect Christ´s character and sacrifice for us, which He made with no thought to whether or not many people would accept or reject Him. He did what He did for us purely because He loved us, and because we love Him, and because we love our families, we do all those monotonous mommy jobs, day in and day out, with very little thanks.
On those days when this service is especially difficult, try to remember that all you do, whether it be cooking, cleaning, ironing, changing diapers, etc. you are really doing for Christ, and not for your husband or children, who are bound to drive you crazy once in a while. And if you do all you do with this attitude, as Scripture recommends, instead of seeking human grattitude, you will find that those moments where you DO receive thanks from your family will be particularly sweet and unexpected.
Any mother who is waiting for a thank you from her husband or children is setting herself up for disappointment. It´s not that you will never get thank yous, but you will absolutely not get them as often as you would like or deserve. Plus, waiting for a thank you indicates a problem in our motivation.
Being a mother is the ultimate test of selfless service that there is, and it is generally a fairly thankless job. If we are doing all we do in the hopes of some kind of compensation, we are missing the mark. The job of being a mother is to reflect Christ´s character and sacrifice for us, which He made with no thought to whether or not many people would accept or reject Him. He did what He did for us purely because He loved us, and because we love Him, and because we love our families, we do all those monotonous mommy jobs, day in and day out, with very little thanks.
On those days when this service is especially difficult, try to remember that all you do, whether it be cooking, cleaning, ironing, changing diapers, etc. you are really doing for Christ, and not for your husband or children, who are bound to drive you crazy once in a while. And if you do all you do with this attitude, as Scripture recommends, instead of seeking human grattitude, you will find that those moments where you DO receive thanks from your family will be particularly sweet and unexpected.
30 Days to Being a Purposeful Mommy, Day 21
Day 21: Teach your Kids Compassion and Kindness
So, we´ve established that most of what we can teach our children we should teach first and foremost through our example. Every time we see someone who is ¨different¨, our kids will notice, and probably even point that person out to us if they have never seen someone like that. These are golden opportunities to help our children understand their world and develop correct reactions to it.
It´s a natural reaction to scold when our children point and stare at someone. (Bad manners, anyone?) But a better response is to correct that behavior while explaining to our children what is going on. Did they see someone with a different skin color for the first time? Why not point out that people from different places in the world have different skin colors, and ask your child what color skin they would like to have? Start up a conversation that teaches your children to value differences and find them interesting rather than weird or scary.
There are many different opportunities for teaching compassion, and it is so easy! Children are just beginning to understand the world, and look to us to guide them. If we go a step beyond simply scolding them, and teach them to value differences in people and to treat others with kindness, we are taking yet another opportunity to be purposeful in our parenting.
So, we´ve established that most of what we can teach our children we should teach first and foremost through our example. Every time we see someone who is ¨different¨, our kids will notice, and probably even point that person out to us if they have never seen someone like that. These are golden opportunities to help our children understand their world and develop correct reactions to it.
It´s a natural reaction to scold when our children point and stare at someone. (Bad manners, anyone?) But a better response is to correct that behavior while explaining to our children what is going on. Did they see someone with a different skin color for the first time? Why not point out that people from different places in the world have different skin colors, and ask your child what color skin they would like to have? Start up a conversation that teaches your children to value differences and find them interesting rather than weird or scary.
There are many different opportunities for teaching compassion, and it is so easy! Children are just beginning to understand the world, and look to us to guide them. If we go a step beyond simply scolding them, and teach them to value differences in people and to treat others with kindness, we are taking yet another opportunity to be purposeful in our parenting.
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