It’s not how I imagined my honeymoon starting out. I was thinking beach, candles, rose petals, alone. What I got was apartment, boxes, suitcases, and definitely not alone. The first 5 days of our honeymoon, we had at least two, sometimes more, guests passing through our house at random intervals. My best friend Bre was staying with us until her trip to Guayaquil, my husband’s good friend Jonathan was around every day until his trip to Guayaquil (a different trip, although they took the bus together), and then other random friends dropped in to say hi, to talk, or to lend a hand in the moving process.
When we got to our apartment we had nothing, because the delivery people still hadn’t dropped off our stove, fridge and washing machine. We hadn’t gotten our mattress yet, and had no gas for hot water. Poor Bre! But even though it wasn’t what we had planned, it ended up being a lot of fun, and a huge blessing. I got to see Bre before she gets to work here in Ecuador, Jairo got to spend time with his friend Jonathan, and because of everyone’s help, we got everything moved in...eventually!
There’s something I’m learning about marriage, and about life in general: What you expect and what you get are really almost never the same. But the cool part is that what you get, if you just agree to go along with it, a lot of times ends up being cooler that what you expected would have been. I’m learning to be more open to new ideas and experiences, new ways of thinking, and new adventures. If my marriage has been anything up until this point, it has definitely not been boring!! And it’s better than I ever imagined. Oh...and harder, too!
It’s funny, when people find out you’re getting married, their favorite thing to say after “congrats!” is “Are you sure? Have you thought about it? Marriage is hard work!” Even people who aren’t married! I had sixteen-year-olds giving me marriage advice! At first it was funny, then annoying, and then I just ignored it. As if I’m going to say, “Oh really? It’s hard? Count me out!!”
But the sad truth is that nowadays all over the world people are saying that to their marriages. I was watching Friends with Jairo the other night, which I don’t usually find to be a source of any kind of wisdom whatsoever, but there’s a part where Chandler and Monica, after recently starting dating, have their first fight. Chandler goes to Monica’s apartment and apologizes, and then says, “So...I guess it’s over then.” Monica laughs and says, “We don’t have to break up just because we had a fight. We’ll just work through it! Welcome to an adult relationship!” It’s supposed to be a funny line, but to me it was sad, because so many people never actually start having an “adult relationship” in the sense that they’re in it for the long-haul, and not just while it’s fun.
Yes, marriage is hard. And I’ve gathered that after a few days! But it’s also fun, interesting, beautiful, and totally worth it. I meant it when I said it: Till death do us part.
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