-Ashley
Tell us a little bit about yourself. Who are you?
My name is Darci Brown. I’m from Champaign, IL but live in Bloomington, IL now.
Tell us about your family.
I have been married to my husband, Josh for 3 years and we’ve been together 5 ½.
How many children do you have, and what are their ages?
We have one daughter, Hayli who turned 2 on 5/14. Hopefully, we’ll be having another one soon. *UPDATE: Since the time this interview was written, Darci got her wish, and is expecting a baby boy on March 16th! Congratulations, Darci!*
This is an interview about motherhood, but your motherhood is shaped a lot by your marriage. How would you describe your relationship with your husband?
I think our marriage is very typical. We definitely have our arguments and even though we might not always like each other at the end of the day we always love each other.
What is the hardest thing about being married?
I think the hardest thing is just coming up with new things to do and stuff to talk about. Keeping things new and exciting is an important part of staying together.
What is the best thing about being married?
The best thing is always having someone there for you. Whether you’re celebrating or need a shoulder to cry on you can count on your husband.
Describe a memory between you and your husband that really stands out in your mind.
The two biggest ones for me are when he proposed and our wedding day. I also love thinking about him holding Hayli in the hospital. I have a couple pictures of him holding her for the first time since I was out of it from an emergency C-section, I didn’t get to see him but I will cherish those pictures forever.
Did your relationship with your husband change when you became parents?
Yes and no. There are things that if we didn’t become parents I would have never known so I am grateful for that. I think it’s made us closer and I can’t wait to add to our family and make the bond even stronger.
How does your parenting style compare with your husband´s?
I definitely have more patience than he does. I more just let her figure things out and take her time and he wants things done right away. Other than that we’re pretty similar.
In what ways have you changed since you became a mother?
I actually don’t think I’ve changed that much. I have always wanted to be a mom and knew my whole life that I would have kids. If there’s anything that’s different I guess I’m a little more emotional but mainly just toward Hayli which I think is pretty normal.
Describe a memory of pregnancy that stands out to you.
Well, this is not the prettiest memory but it definitely stands out. I was probably 7ish months and was at the OB office for a regular appointment. They took my blood for a test after my appointment. I hate having my blood drawn and even when I’m not pregnant I can’t stand it. So after she took it I asked if I could sit there for a minute because I felt like I was going to pass out. After sitting for 5 or 10 minutes I thought I was fine. I get up; walk out of the room and towards the appointment desk to schedule my next one. Just as I’m about there I start puking. There is nowhere even close that I could throw up in so I have no choice but to do it all over the floor. Luckily, there’s a door separating the exam rooms and the waiting room so not everyone saw but it was definitely still embarrassing.
Describe a memory of your first weeks of motherhood that stands out to you.
The memory that stands out most is just sitting in her room rocking with her. She wanted nothing to do with the crib so we rocked a lot.
In what ways are your children similar to you? In what ways are they different from you?
She’s definitely similar to me in looks, especially in when her hair is wet in the bathtub. And she has her father’s impatience for sure.
For each of your children, share one of your favorite memories.
I can’t pick just one but my favorite thing to do with Hayli is play at the gym. She takes classes every week and I love seeing her face light up, especially when she’s jumping on the trampoline.
Describe a moment as a mother where you felt overwhelmed.
I definitely felt overwhelmed in the beginning when everything was so new and I was trying to figure out a routine.
What are your favorite ways to relax when you need a little break?
Honestly, my favorite thing to do is either just chill out and watch TV or go out shopping with Hayli.
What has been the hardest lesson you have had to learn as a mother?
The hardest lesson I’ve learned is to just relax and not get worked up about the little things. Every child is different and there is no two that do things in the same way or at the same pace and each one is a gift from God.
What has been the hardest experience you have gone through as a mother? What did that experience teach you?
The hardest experience has been getting Hayli to sleep. It’s definitely a process and there have been tears shed (mostly on her part). It has taught me patience and understanding.
Looking back on your life as a mother, what, if anything, do you regret?
I don’t think there is anything that I regret. I have loved every minute, the good and bad, and I can’t wait for what is to come and going through all the stages again with our second.
What do you think is the most important quality in a mother?
There are definitely several important qualities, one being patience and another flexibility. Being able to change your schedule or what’s going on is important. A sort of go with the flow attitude will help especially in the beginning.
What do you think children need most from their mothers?
I think the most important thing is love. They need to know that we are here no matter what and will always love them.
What advice would you give to other mothers out there who are reading this interview?
I would say just remember that you know your baby best and there is no right or wrong way; do whatever you feel is right for your child. There are a ton of excellent resources out there but the best way is to listen to God and follow your heart.
Do you have any tips or tricks that have helped you stay organized, run your household or raise your kids more effectively?
I would say just try to keep a calendar of all the important dates (appts, playdates, etc.).
Any final thoughts you´d like to share?
Don’t be afraid to ask other moms for advice. Probably 99.9% of the time there is someone else that has gone through the exact same thing you are and it can help tremendously to have someone to talk to that knows exactly how you’re feeling.
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