My visa was set to expire the 29th of January. Obviously, that sort of interferes with my plan to live in Ecuador for my whole life. However, the procedure was simple. You just go to immigration about 2 days before your visa expires and ask for an extension. They can give you up to three months. Or so we thought.
The 27th of January, two days before my visa is set to expire, we go to immigration, just like we’re supposed to. We get there and the man at the desk kindly informs us that they no longer do extensions, but that they might be able to help us in Foreign Affairs across town. I’m starting to feel nervous.
We go to Foreign Affairs. We read a sign on the door that has their hours listed. We’re too late, by minutes. We’ll just come back tomorrow. No big deal. Wait. What day is tomorrow? Wednesday? They’re closed on Wednesday. And Thursday my visa officially expires. I’m starting to cry.
We go back to immigration. Explain our situation. The man at the desk says as long as we get the extension on Friday before midnight it’s no big deal. Ok. Deep breath. There’s still a chance.
Wednesday I’m worried. Very worried. I just got married. I don’t want to leave my husband. What will I even do in the US? My life is here now. I want to stay. I need to stay! I’m praying a lot.
Thursday morning, very early, we get up and head across town to Foreign Affairs, in bus. It takes over an hour. Now we’re both nervous. No one’s saying much. We get in to the office, take a number. Number 77. They finally call our number and we go talk to the man at the first window. He says Ecuador no longer gives extensions to American citizens, however they do give tourist visas, which take only a week to process. ONLY a week? I need it today!
We explain what happened, the bad information we were given in immigration. He says, ok no big deal. The visa only costs $230 and the late fee is only $200. Gee, what a relief. Because the next step after my visa is applying for dual nationality, which only costs $300! Only! I start to cry. Do you blame me?
Ok, he tells us to go to the next window and talk to Jaime. He knows more about the tourist visa. He probably can’t do anything to help us, but he’s our only shot. Once again we explain the situation. He’s sorry, there’s nothing he can do. Well, up until this point I had my tears held back, but not anymore. We don’t have $730 to burn.
A change of heart. Ok, he says. You have to get the visa if you want to stay. No way around that. But the late fee may not apply if we can get the paperwork in today. We close in one hour. Here’s a list of what you need: Two visa applications filled out, two passport-size photos, a bank statement for all bank accounts, a copy of your marriage license, a copy of your passport, and a letter to the director of immigration typed on the computer in Spanish explaining why I need the visa. Good luck!
We leave the office at warp speed, determined to get everything done. It’s our only chance! Right outside the office of Foreign Affairs there’s a business that offers passport-size photos. Apparently they realized that it would be a good opportunity for cash since a lot of people who have business in Foreign Affairs need these. I love Ecuador. We get the pictures. He has a copy machine, too. Great! Let’s get the copy of my passport, too. Two things done already. This is good! But I forgot a fundamental rule of all Ecuadorian businesses. No one has change for a twenty. He wants to know if I have any smaller bills. This time I honestly don’t. He goes to get change from a neighbor. Fifteen minutes pass. No change. Ok, no big deal. I’ll borrow a pen and get the applications filled out. I have to do that anyway. Another five minutes, and we’re in business. I take my change and we run to the nearest internet café...which isn’t that close by. I get into my account in Maine and print my statement. Yes! Now to print my Illinois account. The website is down. Crap. Ok, well we’re here anyway, let’s write the letter to the director. Actually, it would be easier for Jairo to write it, right? A few minutes of trying to sound as official as possible, and we’re off. The ATMs at Banco Pichincha give you your balance when you make a transaction, and we need to take out $230. So I just use my card from Illinois to take out the money and I get my balance. Nice! Back to Foreign Affairs with fifteen minutes to spare.
Take a number and wait. We’re out of breath. I’m still nervous. We go up to Jaime’s window. He looks over the papers and finds all but one. Our marriage license. Which we left in Puyo. Five hours from here. He wants to know why he should believe that we’re married. We tell him we can give it to him tomorrow. He says to be sure that we do.
We call the pastor in Puyo who has the license and he says he’ll send it to us by bus, and we’ll get it first thing tomorrow morning. Good. Friday morning we go to the terminal to get the paper and they don’t want to give it to us. More than a half hour of talking gets us nowhere until they decide to let us talk to the manager, finally. She says it’s fine, take the paper. We get to Foreign Affairs later than we planned, but they’re still open. Jaime says he believed us and approved the paperwork yesterday. It’s all set. My passport will be ready on Tuesday. We leave much happier than when we came in.
What did I learn? Don’t ever stop having faith. So many times I’ve seen God pull through at the last possible moment. He doesn’t always rescue us at what seems to be the opportune moment, but He is always in control, and He’s on our side. For God, all things are possible.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Week One: A House Full of Boxes...and Guests
It’s not how I imagined my honeymoon starting out. I was thinking beach, candles, rose petals, alone. What I got was apartment, boxes, suitcases, and definitely not alone. The first 5 days of our honeymoon, we had at least two, sometimes more, guests passing through our house at random intervals. My best friend Bre was staying with us until her trip to Guayaquil, my husband’s good friend Jonathan was around every day until his trip to Guayaquil (a different trip, although they took the bus together), and then other random friends dropped in to say hi, to talk, or to lend a hand in the moving process.
When we got to our apartment we had nothing, because the delivery people still hadn’t dropped off our stove, fridge and washing machine. We hadn’t gotten our mattress yet, and had no gas for hot water. Poor Bre! But even though it wasn’t what we had planned, it ended up being a lot of fun, and a huge blessing. I got to see Bre before she gets to work here in Ecuador, Jairo got to spend time with his friend Jonathan, and because of everyone’s help, we got everything moved in...eventually!
There’s something I’m learning about marriage, and about life in general: What you expect and what you get are really almost never the same. But the cool part is that what you get, if you just agree to go along with it, a lot of times ends up being cooler that what you expected would have been. I’m learning to be more open to new ideas and experiences, new ways of thinking, and new adventures. If my marriage has been anything up until this point, it has definitely not been boring!! And it’s better than I ever imagined. Oh...and harder, too!
It’s funny, when people find out you’re getting married, their favorite thing to say after “congrats!” is “Are you sure? Have you thought about it? Marriage is hard work!” Even people who aren’t married! I had sixteen-year-olds giving me marriage advice! At first it was funny, then annoying, and then I just ignored it. As if I’m going to say, “Oh really? It’s hard? Count me out!!”
But the sad truth is that nowadays all over the world people are saying that to their marriages. I was watching Friends with Jairo the other night, which I don’t usually find to be a source of any kind of wisdom whatsoever, but there’s a part where Chandler and Monica, after recently starting dating, have their first fight. Chandler goes to Monica’s apartment and apologizes, and then says, “So...I guess it’s over then.” Monica laughs and says, “We don’t have to break up just because we had a fight. We’ll just work through it! Welcome to an adult relationship!” It’s supposed to be a funny line, but to me it was sad, because so many people never actually start having an “adult relationship” in the sense that they’re in it for the long-haul, and not just while it’s fun.
Yes, marriage is hard. And I’ve gathered that after a few days! But it’s also fun, interesting, beautiful, and totally worth it. I meant it when I said it: Till death do us part.
When we got to our apartment we had nothing, because the delivery people still hadn’t dropped off our stove, fridge and washing machine. We hadn’t gotten our mattress yet, and had no gas for hot water. Poor Bre! But even though it wasn’t what we had planned, it ended up being a lot of fun, and a huge blessing. I got to see Bre before she gets to work here in Ecuador, Jairo got to spend time with his friend Jonathan, and because of everyone’s help, we got everything moved in...eventually!
There’s something I’m learning about marriage, and about life in general: What you expect and what you get are really almost never the same. But the cool part is that what you get, if you just agree to go along with it, a lot of times ends up being cooler that what you expected would have been. I’m learning to be more open to new ideas and experiences, new ways of thinking, and new adventures. If my marriage has been anything up until this point, it has definitely not been boring!! And it’s better than I ever imagined. Oh...and harder, too!
It’s funny, when people find out you’re getting married, their favorite thing to say after “congrats!” is “Are you sure? Have you thought about it? Marriage is hard work!” Even people who aren’t married! I had sixteen-year-olds giving me marriage advice! At first it was funny, then annoying, and then I just ignored it. As if I’m going to say, “Oh really? It’s hard? Count me out!!”
But the sad truth is that nowadays all over the world people are saying that to their marriages. I was watching Friends with Jairo the other night, which I don’t usually find to be a source of any kind of wisdom whatsoever, but there’s a part where Chandler and Monica, after recently starting dating, have their first fight. Chandler goes to Monica’s apartment and apologizes, and then says, “So...I guess it’s over then.” Monica laughs and says, “We don’t have to break up just because we had a fight. We’ll just work through it! Welcome to an adult relationship!” It’s supposed to be a funny line, but to me it was sad, because so many people never actually start having an “adult relationship” in the sense that they’re in it for the long-haul, and not just while it’s fun.
Yes, marriage is hard. And I’ve gathered that after a few days! But it’s also fun, interesting, beautiful, and totally worth it. I meant it when I said it: Till death do us part.
Wedding Day, Wedding Night
It’s the day every young girl dreams about; the dress, the shoes, the flowers, the bridesmaids, and most importantly, the groom. So here are some details, for starters.
My dress, a blessing from God, was a total accident. Jairo and I were walking in downtown Quito (Ecuador) on non-wedding business when it started to rain. We ducked into the first store we found, and there was my wedding dress, complete with veil, garter, bouquet, and flower girl basket at a price you wouldn’t believe if I told you. The owner of the store told me I couldn’t try it on unless I was for sure going to buy it, company policy. So, in a spur-of-the-moment decision, we bought it, before I even tried it on. I was so nervous going into the dressing room, but when I saw it in the mirror, I was hooked. Good thing, too!
The shoes I already had bought before I even saw my dress or new it existed. I found them in a market in Ambato (also Ecuador) and I loved them. White, embroidered, low heel (which is perfect for weak-ankled, accident-prone me) and very low price. We got Jairo’s shoes on the same day, the first pair of dress shoes he has ever liked. Before the wedding he was begging me to let him wear them to church. (Of course I said no!)
I had two bouquets, one made of fabric flowers which was beautiful, and which I did not use in the wedding but rather saved since I tossed my real bouquet, which was made of tons of white roses and cost me (get this) $10. That’s with the rose petals for the flower girl included. I love Ecuador. The flower girl, Jairo’s 8-year-old niece, ended up with it, although I’m not sure how because she didn’t catch it. She was pretty excited about it though!
As far as bridesmaids go, I had eight. Yeah. My sister was my matron of honor, but from afar because she couldn’t make it to Ecuador, so my best friend Bre had place number one as the maid of honor. Here in Ecuador the tradition is that the maid of honor wears a red dress, but my wedding colors were green and white, and I was not into having a Christmas-colored wedding, so she wore a green dress, too, but carried a bouquet of red flowers in honor of the tradition. After Bre came Jairo’s sister Mirian, then two married friends of mine, Eliza and Viviana (Viviana also happens to be my new neighbor). Then came three girls from our church, Doris, Elena (who never showed up!!), and Sara. Finally was Jairo’s older niece Nathalia, who is 13, and then my flower girl, Jairo’s other niece Genesis, who is 8.
So, all of the bridesmaids, my mom and I got ready in the basement of the church. We arrived about two hours before the wedding and got to work right away on hair and makeup. Bre was in charge of my hair, which I wore down with wavy curls, and I did my makeup, which I did pretty much normally. I wanted to still look like me! Bre, my mom, and Jairo’s mom helped my put my dress on, which had a lace-up corset in the back, and made me slightly woozy. My mom bought me a gorgeous tiara to wear with my veil which was my something new, a ribbon from my grandpa’s boutonniere from his wedding was my something old which my mom wove into my bouquet, my grandma’s handkerchief from her wedding was my something borrowed, which we wrapped around the base of my bouquet, and my garter was blue. So, all fixed up and with all the trimmings of a bride, I waited on the stairs outside for my turn to enter the church with my dad.
It’s such an interesting thing to be the bride after having seen so many friends and family members get married. It seems so glamorous, so magical. But when your day actually arrives, the only really magical moment is when the one you’re going to spend the rest of your life with promises you “till death” and you realize maybe for the first time the magnitude of the moment and what it is you are doing. Up until that moment, it is neither magical nor glamorous! It’s stressful, nerve-wracking, worrisome, emotional and sometimes down-right embarrassing!
For example, as far as things which are neither magical nor glamorous go, I’ll give you an example. Two days before the wedding, Jairo and I, our parents, and Bre all go to Misahualli, about 2 hours away from Puyo, to swim in the river and see the monkeys. When we were heading home I noticed I had a few bug bites on my leg but paid no attention. The next day when I woke up, one day before the wedding, my knee was swollen to twice its size. One day before the wedding happened to be the day of our civil ceremony (in Ecuador you have to do both), for which I had a white, knee-length dress, so you can imagine how attractive I felt walking around like that.
By late afternoon it was hard to move my leg, but the rehearsal was at 7pm. I started to develop a high fever and pain all through my body, so before the rehearsal I went with Bre, my parents, and Jairo’s mom to the hospital. They prescribed me three medicines, one of which was a shot I had to have given to me in the pharmacy. So while everyone else was getting ready to rehearse for the wedding, Jairo took me to the pharmacy where they gave me a shot of 500ccs of hydrocortisone in my butt. And you know what? It hurt like crazy! I showed up to my rehearsal crying with a popsicle strapped to my pants. It’s just how every girl imagines her rehearsal going, right? By the next day my knee wasn’t too swollen, but still painful, and on top of that my butt hurt. Factor in that my mom, my mother-in-law, and all my bridesmaids have now all seen me nearly naked, in only an adhesive bra and seamless panties, and you have probably figured out that it’s not actually as glamorous as it seems.
My not-so-glamorous day was followed by an equally not-so-glamorous night. After spending all day, from early morning hours until late at night, getting ready for the wedding, having the wedding, and then having the reception, plus having a swollen, ugly, painful knee and a sore butt, it doesn’t exactly get you super hyped for the wedding night. Jairo and I were so exhausted and I was so miserable, we just went to sleep! It was actually a relief, because there is so much pressure put on that one night, that looking back I’m glad we got to the wedding night activities in our own time, when we both actually wanted to, and not just because everyone says we should. Going through the motions when we were both so incredibly exhausted would have been such a letdown, whereas waiting until we recovered and letting it be natural was much more fun and rewarding. Take that as a tip, brides-to-be!!
Everything said and done, looking back on my wedding now, I don’t remember that much to be honest. Jairo doesn’t either! Everything moves at the speed of light on your wedding day, so if you’re a bride to be, make sure everyone takes pictures of everything!! I remember the most important things, though. I remember my dad walking me down the aisle and giving me away in Spanish that he learned the day before! I remember how my best friend Bre was trying not to cry from the moment we woke up and how she kept telling me how beautiful I was! Love you Bre! I remember walking into the church and seeing Jairo and thinking how insanely blessed I am. I remember Bre singing El Shaddai with Jairo’s brother Patricio in honor of my parents. I remember how we forgot to unhook my train until half way through the ceremony! I remember how happy everyone was for us. I remember dancing with my husband, who learned to waltz just for me. I remember dancing with my dad, too. I remember my dad praying for us. I remember throwing my bouquet, the garter (which I now miss...I think Jairo is going to buy me a new one!!), and cutting the cake. I remember almost passing out during pictures because it was so hot and I was in a corset! But most of all I remember the promises I made to my husband, and the promises he made to me, and I thank God every day for blessing me and letting me spend my whole life with my best friend.
My dress, a blessing from God, was a total accident. Jairo and I were walking in downtown Quito (Ecuador) on non-wedding business when it started to rain. We ducked into the first store we found, and there was my wedding dress, complete with veil, garter, bouquet, and flower girl basket at a price you wouldn’t believe if I told you. The owner of the store told me I couldn’t try it on unless I was for sure going to buy it, company policy. So, in a spur-of-the-moment decision, we bought it, before I even tried it on. I was so nervous going into the dressing room, but when I saw it in the mirror, I was hooked. Good thing, too!
The shoes I already had bought before I even saw my dress or new it existed. I found them in a market in Ambato (also Ecuador) and I loved them. White, embroidered, low heel (which is perfect for weak-ankled, accident-prone me) and very low price. We got Jairo’s shoes on the same day, the first pair of dress shoes he has ever liked. Before the wedding he was begging me to let him wear them to church. (Of course I said no!)
I had two bouquets, one made of fabric flowers which was beautiful, and which I did not use in the wedding but rather saved since I tossed my real bouquet, which was made of tons of white roses and cost me (get this) $10. That’s with the rose petals for the flower girl included. I love Ecuador. The flower girl, Jairo’s 8-year-old niece, ended up with it, although I’m not sure how because she didn’t catch it. She was pretty excited about it though!
As far as bridesmaids go, I had eight. Yeah. My sister was my matron of honor, but from afar because she couldn’t make it to Ecuador, so my best friend Bre had place number one as the maid of honor. Here in Ecuador the tradition is that the maid of honor wears a red dress, but my wedding colors were green and white, and I was not into having a Christmas-colored wedding, so she wore a green dress, too, but carried a bouquet of red flowers in honor of the tradition. After Bre came Jairo’s sister Mirian, then two married friends of mine, Eliza and Viviana (Viviana also happens to be my new neighbor). Then came three girls from our church, Doris, Elena (who never showed up!!), and Sara. Finally was Jairo’s older niece Nathalia, who is 13, and then my flower girl, Jairo’s other niece Genesis, who is 8.
So, all of the bridesmaids, my mom and I got ready in the basement of the church. We arrived about two hours before the wedding and got to work right away on hair and makeup. Bre was in charge of my hair, which I wore down with wavy curls, and I did my makeup, which I did pretty much normally. I wanted to still look like me! Bre, my mom, and Jairo’s mom helped my put my dress on, which had a lace-up corset in the back, and made me slightly woozy. My mom bought me a gorgeous tiara to wear with my veil which was my something new, a ribbon from my grandpa’s boutonniere from his wedding was my something old which my mom wove into my bouquet, my grandma’s handkerchief from her wedding was my something borrowed, which we wrapped around the base of my bouquet, and my garter was blue. So, all fixed up and with all the trimmings of a bride, I waited on the stairs outside for my turn to enter the church with my dad.
It’s such an interesting thing to be the bride after having seen so many friends and family members get married. It seems so glamorous, so magical. But when your day actually arrives, the only really magical moment is when the one you’re going to spend the rest of your life with promises you “till death” and you realize maybe for the first time the magnitude of the moment and what it is you are doing. Up until that moment, it is neither magical nor glamorous! It’s stressful, nerve-wracking, worrisome, emotional and sometimes down-right embarrassing!
For example, as far as things which are neither magical nor glamorous go, I’ll give you an example. Two days before the wedding, Jairo and I, our parents, and Bre all go to Misahualli, about 2 hours away from Puyo, to swim in the river and see the monkeys. When we were heading home I noticed I had a few bug bites on my leg but paid no attention. The next day when I woke up, one day before the wedding, my knee was swollen to twice its size. One day before the wedding happened to be the day of our civil ceremony (in Ecuador you have to do both), for which I had a white, knee-length dress, so you can imagine how attractive I felt walking around like that.
By late afternoon it was hard to move my leg, but the rehearsal was at 7pm. I started to develop a high fever and pain all through my body, so before the rehearsal I went with Bre, my parents, and Jairo’s mom to the hospital. They prescribed me three medicines, one of which was a shot I had to have given to me in the pharmacy. So while everyone else was getting ready to rehearse for the wedding, Jairo took me to the pharmacy where they gave me a shot of 500ccs of hydrocortisone in my butt. And you know what? It hurt like crazy! I showed up to my rehearsal crying with a popsicle strapped to my pants. It’s just how every girl imagines her rehearsal going, right? By the next day my knee wasn’t too swollen, but still painful, and on top of that my butt hurt. Factor in that my mom, my mother-in-law, and all my bridesmaids have now all seen me nearly naked, in only an adhesive bra and seamless panties, and you have probably figured out that it’s not actually as glamorous as it seems.
My not-so-glamorous day was followed by an equally not-so-glamorous night. After spending all day, from early morning hours until late at night, getting ready for the wedding, having the wedding, and then having the reception, plus having a swollen, ugly, painful knee and a sore butt, it doesn’t exactly get you super hyped for the wedding night. Jairo and I were so exhausted and I was so miserable, we just went to sleep! It was actually a relief, because there is so much pressure put on that one night, that looking back I’m glad we got to the wedding night activities in our own time, when we both actually wanted to, and not just because everyone says we should. Going through the motions when we were both so incredibly exhausted would have been such a letdown, whereas waiting until we recovered and letting it be natural was much more fun and rewarding. Take that as a tip, brides-to-be!!
Everything said and done, looking back on my wedding now, I don’t remember that much to be honest. Jairo doesn’t either! Everything moves at the speed of light on your wedding day, so if you’re a bride to be, make sure everyone takes pictures of everything!! I remember the most important things, though. I remember my dad walking me down the aisle and giving me away in Spanish that he learned the day before! I remember how my best friend Bre was trying not to cry from the moment we woke up and how she kept telling me how beautiful I was! Love you Bre! I remember walking into the church and seeing Jairo and thinking how insanely blessed I am. I remember Bre singing El Shaddai with Jairo’s brother Patricio in honor of my parents. I remember how we forgot to unhook my train until half way through the ceremony! I remember how happy everyone was for us. I remember dancing with my husband, who learned to waltz just for me. I remember dancing with my dad, too. I remember my dad praying for us. I remember throwing my bouquet, the garter (which I now miss...I think Jairo is going to buy me a new one!!), and cutting the cake. I remember almost passing out during pictures because it was so hot and I was in a corset! But most of all I remember the promises I made to my husband, and the promises he made to me, and I thank God every day for blessing me and letting me spend my whole life with my best friend.
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