Get-Through-Your-Monday Girl Time - SuperMom Theresa Fuller

Well, here ya go kids, another wonderful interview for our ¨Get-through-your-Monday Girl Time!¨ I had so much fun reading this interview, and I think you will, too. I remember babysitting Theresa´s first daughter when she was just a toddler, and I was probably in middle school! It´s fun to read about their ups and downs as a family, what it means to grow up, and how to make cleaning the house an adventure! So grab your cup of coffee, or whatever your guilty pleasure is, and take a few minutes out for girl time! Enjoy!
-Ashley

Tell us a little bit about yourself. Who are you?
I’m Theresa Fuller. I’m a stay-at-home mom and I’m currently working on my Bachelor’s Degree in Healthcare Administration.

Tell us about your family.
I’ve been married for 9 years to my husband, Stephen. We met in the Army National Guard about ten years ago and fell in love at first sight. Not really, though… Actually he asked me out a bunch of times, I said no a bunch of times, and then my car broke down and he just happened to stop to help me, so I was forced to say yes when he asked me out again.  Then, we were a bit careless and a couple months later while he was in Korea I sent him an email, “We need to talk when you get home.” He responded with, “Are you pregnant?” The answer was yes… And that should make the math easier for anyone who starts doing the math on the next question…

How many children do you have, and what are their ages?
Stephanie, 9 years; Christopher, 8 years; Makenzie, almost 5 years

This is an interview about motherhood, but your motherhood is shaped a lot by your marriage. How would you describe your relationship with your husband?
We have a lot of fun. We play fight and argue and joke around constantly. People often think we’re arguing, when really we’re just joking around with one another. We enjoy each other´’s company and love laughing at/with each other. When we actually argue, it rarely lasts long. We’ve been through some rough times, especially after his dad died, and I think we both seriously considered divorce for a good year, but we stuck it out and now we’re a lot happier.

What is the hardest thing about being married?
I think the hardest part for us is disciplining the children together. We both have different ideas on parenting and he’s quick to discipline while I’m quick to just talk to the kids about what they’re doing wrong. I base more importance on communication and he bases more importance on punishment so that they’ll learn from their mistakes.

What is the best thing about being married?
The best thing about being married is having someone to share things with. Whether something good happens, or something bad happens, he’s always the first one I want to tell.

Describe a memory between you and your husband that really stands out in your mind.
As I mentioned before, we barely knew each other when I got pregnant. I was 19 years old and we hadn’t seen each other for weeks because he was in Korea. He got back home and I expected him to say he wanted nothing to do with the baby or me. I even thought he might bring up adoption or abortion. I was terrified and thought I was going to have to have my baby and take care of it alone. I was also self-conscious because I was so skinny when I got pregnant that I was starting to show already.

We went on a date and talked and I don’t remember much of that at all, but afterwards he drove me back to my car. I remember still expecting to never see him again, but before I got into my car he put his arms around me and hugged me. We stood in a parking lot next to my car, under the stars, and he just held me for what seemed like forever. I remember thinking to myself, “Wow, I might be able to fall in love with this guy.” And then I did…

How did your relationship with your husband change when you became parents?
Since our story isn’t the normal story of love, marriage, babies, we didn’t really know one another very well by the time I had Stephanie. She was born prematurely and was in NICU for a while before she came home on an apnea monitor. Stephen and I were clearly both still kids before she was born, but as soon as she was born we both grew up quite a bit. He woke up with me every 2 hours to go back to the hospital and feed Stephanie, and he made sure I ate enough and took care of myself. We started really relying on each other after Stephanie was born, and I finally realized not only how much I loved him, but how much he loved me. He’d asked me to marry him before, but I had said “no” because I didn’t want him to marry me just because I was pregnant. A week after Stephanie was born, he asked again, and I knew at that point that there was so much more to our relationship than just having a baby together. I said yes and we got married the next day.

How does your parenting style compare with your husband´s?
If the kids do something wrong, Stephen scolds them or makes them take a time out. I usually start with a warning or a discussion. I’m big on making them discuss their feelings, whereas he doesn’t. He jokes around with the kids more than I do, and they wrestle with each other all the time. He’d rather stay at home and play with the kids or work in the yard with them, but I like to take the kids places and try to avoid being at home with them if the weather’s nice.

In what ways have you changed since you became a mother?
I’ve become a million times more patient. I’ve changed so much that I don’t really know where to begin, but with each child I’ve become progressively more patient and understanding.

Describe a memory of pregnancy that stands out to you.
I loved being pregnant, so this is a difficult question to choose just one! Of course, I remember the first time I felt my babies move, and I remember the first time I put Stephen´s hand on my belly so that he could feel them move with each pregnancy… I guess one of my favorite memories is probably listening to Stephen read to my belly. He used to read Oh Baby, the Places You’ll Go to my belly every day. Right before I had Stephanie, he read it again and I cried the whole time.

Describe a memory of your first weeks of motherhood that stands out to you.
When Stephanie was 28 days old, Stephen deployed. I drove to Ft. McCoy, Wisconsin every single weekend with our tiny, premature newborn to make sure that he got to see her as many times as possible before he went overseas. I was never more than a few feet from Stephanie for the first few months because I couldn’t stand being away from both her and my husband.

In what ways has your parenting style changed with each child?
I’ve become less nervous about everything. Now I know that a fever is usually nothing to worry about, so I baby my kids and treat them, but I don’t panic. I still keep my kids close, and it still annoys me when I see other kids running free with no parents in sight, but I’ve learned that it’s okay if they climb a tree (not TOO high) and maybe fall and scrape a knee, etc. I’ve just generally allowed each kid to have a little bit more fun because I know that they might get hurt, but they can still play and have fun without getting hurt even if I don’t keep them on a tight leash.

In what ways are they similar to each other and in what ways are they different?
All three of my kids are very loving. They still randomly give me a hug or a kiss on the cheek and tell me that they love me. Stephanie’s feelings are easily hurt, and she’s quite the drama queen. Sometimes she’ll run off screaming that “nobody loves her,” but she’s quick to smile when I remind her that she’s actually very loved, even when she’s being dramatic. A small scolding is all she needs if she does something wrong. She’s so eager to please. Christopher is stubborn and has a temper. Scolding does little good, but grounding him from his favorite toys keeps him in line when needed. Makenzie is a trouble-maker. She’s quick to shed crocodile tears if she gets caught doing something wrong, and she’s usually the one who starts the arguments. She’s also hilarious. It’s hard to punish her without laughing most of the time.

All three of my kids are VERY polite. I love it when I receive compliments on their manners/behavior. It reminds me that I’m doing something right, and it makes them feel good about themselves, too!

In what ways are your children similar to you? In what ways are they different from you?
Remember that drama queen thing? Stephanie gets that from me. Christopher’s temper? That’s his dad. And Makenzie’s trouble-making ability? Also me. I call my mom and apologize weekly.

For each of your children, share one of your favorite memories.
How do I choose just one? This question has taken me forever because I feel like I make a new favorite memory every week.

I think for Stephanie, my favorite memory is my wedding. One of the NICU nurses brought Stephanie to the hospital chapel so that she could be there for Stephen and I’s last-minute wedding. I didn’t think she’d be allowed to go, so it was a huge, amazing surprise for me. I’ll always be grateful to that nurse for allowing us that memory.

Christopher- I think my favorite just happened a couple weeks ago. I took him to Turkey Run with my mother-in-law and his sisters and at the end of a great day (before he’d received a SINGLE present, mind you), he informed me that this was the BEST birthday ever, and told Makenzie that she should go there for her birthday, too.

Makenzie- I can’t choose a single memory of Makenzie… My favorite general memory about her was when she was a baby. From the time she was born, she was the fussiest, loudest baby. I knew she was my last, though, so I didn’t mind. I cuddled, rocked, patted, walked, soothed, and nursed her with such patience for so many months. I don’t know where I got the patience from, but I don’t remember ever feeling overwhelmed with her like I did with the other two. I enjoyed every single minute of it, even without any sleep.

Describe a moment as a mother where you felt overwhelmed.
When Stephen got on the bus to deploy, I’ve never felt so overwhelmed. I had this tiny baby, my new husband was going to go overseas, and I was very young. I really can’t describe how difficult it was for me to be strong for Stephanie, or how painful it was to see my husband cry as he told our little girl goodbye.

What are your favorite ways to relax when you need a little break?
I love a hot bubble bath and a good book. My kids might not have survived this long if not for hot water and books. Okay, they may have SURVIVED, but they might be in cages or something. (Kidding, I swear).

What has been the hardest lesson you have had to learn as a mother?
I think it’s that babies really DO grow up way too fast. I could elaborate, but I think any mom reading this already understands.

What has been the hardest experience you have gone through as a mother? What did that experience teach you?
I think this goes back to when Stephen deployed. It taught me that I could do more than I ever thought I could. I could handle more than I knew. It also taught me that things were no longer about me; they were about my baby(ies). I learned to rely on my family, and on my little girl for comfort because I didn’t have to do anything alone. I had other people.

Looking back on your life as a mother, what, if anything, do you regret?
I regret not getting antidepressants sooner after I had Christopher. I had postpartum depression and I didn’t realize it. Because of that, I barely remember the first 6 months of his life, really. I didn’t enjoy him as much as I should have. To be honest, I didn’t really even like him at first. I loved him, but I didn’t like him. That is my only regret.

What do you think is the most important quality in a mother?
Patience. If you become frustrated quickly or forget that these little people rely on you to teach them, you miss out on so many chances. Everything can be a learning experience, and with a little patience, everything can be fun.

What do you think children need most from their mothers?
Love, but that seems obvious.

What advice would you give to other mothers out there who are reading this interview?
You will make mistakes. So will your kids. Big deal! Learn from them, teach from them, and move on. Love every single minute. A friend of mine has metastatic breast cancer and 2 young girls. She lives every day with the sole purpose of making memories for her kids, and now I do, too. If something happens to me tomorrow, I know my kids will have amazing memories because I’ve helped make them.

Do you have any tips or tricks that have helped you stay organized, run your household or raise your kids more effectively?
Organized? Ha! I’m horrible with organization in all forms. Lately I’ve developed a policy… If I wake up one day and want to take the kids to the zoo, we go to the zoo. If the laundry isn’t folded, it can wait until we get home. If we stay home to clean the house, I put on loud music and we sing and dance while we clean. Everything should be an adventure. If you can do that with organization, great, but I’m better at doing it all “on the fly.”

Things You Forget to Remember, Continued

If you are a friend of mine on facebook, you probably know that my facebook account exists primarily for the purpose of recording all of the adorable things my daughter says until I can write them down somewhere. Now, I don´t know how much other people really care about reading my daughter´s quotes, but it doesn´t really matter. It´s mostly for me anyway.

I was amazed at how early she started saying things that I wanted to remember. So in my free moments, I think back to the things she has said that day or in the past few days that were special to me. Sometimes they are funny things, or sometimes they are things that reflect who she is as a person, and those are things that I don´t want to forget. But I will. And every so often there is a moment where I turn to my husband and say, ¨What was that funny thing Bella said this morning?¨ Sometimes we remember, sometimes we don´t. As a parent, you get this nagging feeling that your kids are growing up right in front of your eyes, every single day, and no matter how much you determine to remember, there will still be a million things you will forget.

It isn´t just the things they say. It´s in the looks they give you, the things they do, the moments you share. Sometimes, to an onlooker, that moment that you wish you could bottle up and save forever looks totally commonplace. It´s not all about the first steps or the first word. Really, it´s not about those moments at all. You know you will remember those, and, if you´re like me, you will probably have five thousand pictures and videos of those moments to help you remember in case you should get amnesia.

Tonight I was thinking, as I was putting my daughter down to sleep for the night, that sometimes it can even be the moments that you think, as you´re living them, are just annoying. Like when they won´t sleep, and you are pregnant and hot and you don´t really want anyone touching you and you just want this kid to fall asleep so you can have a little space! And then that little scoundrel, as if reading your mind, turns around, tucks one arm under you, and with the other hand, roughly pats your head, mimicking the way you stroke her hair as she falls asleep. Kids are great with that stuff. They diffuse you, just like that, and make you wonder what you were so annoyed about in the first place.

It´s the way they say. ¨I love you¨. Sometimes they actually say those words, but as wonderful as those words are, the meaning behind them is still developing. The real love a child gives her mother is active. It is given. It is returned to you in the way you give it to her. She learned to express love from you! I think that might be the most exciting thing about motherhood.

I love to watch my daughter play with her dolls and stuffed animals. She is attentive, thoughtful and affectionate. She is tender and loving. She speaks kindly to them, showers them with affection and cares for them meticulously. It makes me feel like I am doing something right. I am teaching her to be a mother.

Of course, she also picks up some of my bad habits. Ahem. So don´t think I´m bragging. I´m not.

I just love to see her blossom, and to know that I had something to do with that, even with all my flaws and failures.

I´m getting ready for the arrival of our second daughter, and just thinking about what I want to remember about Bella as she is right now. Soon she will be adding ¨big sister¨ to her list of experiences, and I´m glad for her. I think having a sibling is a blessing, and something that really helps develop character. But I´m also sad. Sad because while she will always be my baby, she will no longer be THE baby, and I know that will be difficult and confusing for her. I´m sad that we will never be just the two of us girls again. (Although I´m excited to be the three of us girls!) It´s a bittersweet time, and I´m trying to savor our last weeks as a twosome.

Some of Bella´s favorite things right now:

Stuffed animals of every variety, playing doctor, taking our order and making us a meal in her kitchen (algo más?), stickers, jewelry and TV (a relatively new discovery since in Ecuador we watch a total of 0 TV...)

Hugs, kisses, cuddles (cummy me, mommy!!), climbing all over me, trying to lick us (gross)

Ice water, fruit, candy (another USA discovery), meat of all kinds, pizza, donuts

Spiderman, but not Batman (he nasty, mommy)...and ¨Hulk for dadda¨ (Why? We don´t know...)

Trying to be bossy (I told you no, mommy!)

Beetles, but not spiders (I don´t yike it spiders)

Bathtime, especially with bubbles or colored water, but not getting out of the bath

Pink

Looking at herself in the mirror

Taking off her pants and running around the house in her undies


Shoes!!


Doing ¨exercises¨

Church, but only because the nursery has tons of toys. Ha.

Story time at the library (probably the thing I will miss most about the US)

Eating snow (another happy USA experience!)

Helping clean up (Me do it!)




Matt Redman, Toby Mac, Old MacDonald, Twinkle Twinkle, The Itsy Bitsy Spider, 5 Little Monkeys, ¨Yo soy¨...and others

Watching the ministry videos that daddy makes (Pa mano, papá!)



And I´m sure there is so much more! All of these things change and grow every day, just like she does, but sometimes it´s good to take a little snapshot, because there is so much that we forget to remember.

What are the things your children say or do that you want to be sure to remember?

Get-through-your-Monday Girl Time - SuperMom Allison Bohn

Hello, Monday! And hello, blog readers! Welcome back to our favorite little moment of the week, ¨Get-through-your-Monday Girl Time¨! Today we bring you another fun mommy interview, from a mommy who was recommended to me! I don´t know her personally, but we are friends on Facebook, so that is a good start. Just kidding. Actually we have several mutual friends, and this young lady comes highly recommended! I thoroughly enjoyed reading her interview and getting to know her, and I think her honest answers will be uplifting to you on this Monday! But don´t take my word for it--dive right in! Enjoy!

-Ashley

Tell us a little bit about yourself. Who are you?
My name is Allison Bohn. I have been married for almost 5 years to my amazing husband. I am very fortunate to be able to be a stay at home mom.

Tell us about your family.
I have two wonderful kids, and for the time being we are living in Maine. We are waiting for God to tell us where he wants us next.

How many children do you have, and what are their ages?
I have two children Hadassah 2 years, Aedan 2 months.

This is an interview about motherhood, but your motherhood is shaped a lot by your marriage. How would you describe your relationship with your husband?
I love my relationship with my husband. He is my best friend who I talk to about everything. We complete each other.

What is the hardest thing about being married?
Learning to give up control.

What is the best thing about being married?
Getting to spend the rest of my life with my husband

Describe a memory between you and your husband that really stands out in your mind.
The way he looked at my the night he proposed. I could just tell how much he loved me.

How did your relationship with your husband change when you became parents?
It is getting stronger as we learn together how to raise our children. It makes me love him even more to see how much he loves his children.

How does your parenting style compare with your husband's?
I think we have similar styles. We pretty much agree on how we do most things. He just rough houses more because he is stronger lol.

In what ways have you changed since you became a mother? I think I have become even more paranoid unfortunately because I am always scared something is going to happen to my kids, but other than that I think I have become more understanding as I try to see things from my children's perspective.

Describe a memory of pregnancy that stands out to you.
I loved both the times I felt both my kids move. It will never stop being amazing.

Describe a memory of your first weeks of motherhood that stands out to you.
Just having my little ones fall asleep on me. I love it when that happens.

In what ways has your parenting style changed with each child?
It is hard to say if my style differs because my son is so young so we are still in the adjusting phase.

In what ways are your children similar to each other and in what ways are they different?
Again hard to say for the most part since my son is so little, but he is more needy than she was. He wants to be held all the time.

In what ways are your children similar to you? In what ways are they different from you?
Haddie is more curious than I think I was. But she is a litte fireball like I was.

For each of your children, share one of your favorite memories.
I don't think I can pick just one. But I love when she starts to understand things and she gets so proud of herself. With Aedan I was so glad to be able to see him right after he was born since I was awake for his c- section.

Describe a moment as a mother where you felt overwhelmed.
When both my children are crying at the same time.

What are your favorite ways to relax when you need a little break?
Probably watch tv or sleep, and read if I have a good book.

What has been the hardest lesson you have had to learn as a mother?
I will have to let them go someday.

What has been the hardest experience you have gone through as a mother? What did that experience teach you?
One thing is just the process of how they came into the world. I did not want a c-section and I have had to have two. I am now able to deal with the fact that God has his own plan in mind and I just need to go with it.

Looking back on your life as a mother, what, if anything, do you regret?
Getting too upset at times.

What do you think is the most important quality in a mother?
Understanding.

What do you think children need most from their mothers?
Unconditional love.

What advice would you give to other mothers out there who are reading this interview?
Just breathe.

Do you have any tips or tricks that have helped you stay organized, run your household or raise your kids more effectively?
Just stay on top of things as best you can. Everything can get out of hand real quick. I know from way too much experience that the house gets super messy before you know it.

Get-through-your-Monday Girl Time - SuperMom Teresa Legere

It´s Monday again, and that means it´s ¨Get-through-your-Monday Girl Time¨! Today we have an interview from a supermom who will challenge and encourage you. When I think of Teresa and her family, there is one memory that always sticks out in my mind. When I lived in Maine, I lived with a pastor and his family, and helped translate for their newly adopted Guatemalan daughter. She was becoming good friends with Teresa´s daughters, and I was called upon one afternoon to translate as the pastor and his wife told their little daughter that one of those little girls had passed away, and the other was in the hospital in critical condition. Since then, I have seen how God has used this tragedy in Teresa´s family to do wonderful things, both within their family and throughout the world (no exaggeration!). I hope this glimpse into Teresa´s life will help you refresh your perspective on motherhood, and the true reason we become mothers. Enjoy!

-Ashley

Tell us a little bit about yourself. Who are you?
I grew up in a small town in Maine, the youngest of 5 girls.  I married my best friend when I was 21 and we have remained together through good times and bad.  I am 38 years old. I worked as a nurse for 11 years before deciding to stay at home to raise my family.

Tell us about your family.
I grew up in a home with a Christian mom who took me to church every week. My dad was less involved when I was younger, but I am glad to say that he has now come to know the Lord and he and my mom are very actively involved in their church. My older sisters are a very important part of my life as well as the life of my children. 

How many children do you have, and what are their ages?
I have 6 daughters:
Grace was 9 years old when she went home to be with Jesus 4 years ago.
Sarah is 12, Deanna is 11, Hannah is 5, Anita is 3.
Our 6th daughter is coming to us from Latvia later this year. She is 5 years old as well.

*Update: Since this interview, Teresa´s 6th daughter has been officially adopted. Here´s what Teresa says: ¨Allison came home with us in August, the adoption was finalized in November, and she had to return in December to finalize her passport/ visa hearing with the US Embassy. She was a great Christmas present!¨

This is an interview about motherhood, but your motherhood is shaped a lot by your marriage. How would you describe your relationship with your husband?
My husband is my absolute best friend.  We have been together for almost 23 years and I cannot imagine my life without him.  After God, he is my Rock.  He keeps me grounded.  He has remained faithful to me through my emotional ups and downs.  He knows me better than any other person.  (sometimes he even knows me better than I know myself).   After the death of our daughter we were warned that our marriage could suffer.  Just the opposite happened.  We bonded together stronger then ever and keep growing closer every single day. 

What is the hardest thing about being married?
Communication!  Men and women communicate differently and it often is the cause of much misunderstanding.  It takes a tender man to be sensitive enough to his wife to truly “listen” to her heart.  It takes a strong woman to be able to go beyond her emotions to talk through hurts. 

What is the best thing about being married?
Spending every day of your life with your best friend!

Describe a memory between you and your husband that really stands out in your mind.
There are so many, but I guess the first one that comes to mind is sitting in the back of my brother-in-law’s car as he drove us from one hospital where we had just heard our oldest daughter declared dead to another hospital where our youngest daughter had been flown due to a skull fracture.  We sat there in the dark holding hands and crying. I remember asking him, “Are we going to be OK?”  Without hesitation, he leaned over and kissed me and reassured me that everything was going to be OK.  I knew then and there that we would become stronger as a result of this tragedy.

How did your relationship with your husband change when you became parents?
We didn’t become parents in the “traditional” way. After 6 years of infertility we adopted a sibling group of 3 sisters from Romania. We went from 0 to 3 over night!  It was a whirlwind and it turned our lives completely upside down.  My husband, true to form, remained solid and would redirect me when my lack of sleep led to emotional upheavals.  I wouldn’t say that our relationship “changed” but was further enhanced by the addition of our girls.  Parenting brings out the best and the worst in us, forcing us to deal with our issues.

How does your parenting style compare with your husband´s?
My husband tends to be the more patient parent.  I am more short tempered and see things very black and white. 

However, our styles tend to compliment each other. When one of us is struggling to deliver the much needed grace that our girls need, the other parent steps in.  When one of us struggles with deciding on a consequence for a family offense, the other one will remind the group of our set family rules.  It is a definite team approach to parenting.

In what ways have you changed since you became a mother?
I would have to say that becoming a mother has taught me patience and grace.  As I mentioned before, parenting brings out the best and worst in us.  Issues that you could “hide” before you had kids become front and center when you have children.  God has a funny way of using our children to bring out emotions and behaviors that you have tried for years to ignore in yourself.  You are forced to deal with them when they happen in front of your children.  You can’t hide anything from your kids.  This has forced me to take a very painful road of counseling and deep soul searching to recognize some very negative traits in myself that needed to be changed. 

Describe a memory of pregnancy that stands out to you.
Our children are all adopted so I have no “pregnancy” story; however, if you would like a detailed story of mountains of paperwork, doctors appointments, birth certificates, dossiers, apostillements, embassy hearings, court dates, etc. I’d be happy to fill you in.  When you are pregnant you may feel physically violated at every step of the way. When you adopt you are violated in every aspect of your life….your home, your marriage, your finances, your emotional stability, your physical fitness.  There are NO secrets. You need to fully document every aspect of your parenting plan from what you will feed the children on the first day home to what plans you have in place in the event of your untimely demise.  It can be a little intimidating to have to think about these things when you haven’t even met your precious little angels yet!  

On top of the bureaucratic nightmare you have to deal with constant comments and unsolicited advice from well intentioned family members all the way up to complete strangers.  (I have heard that this is true for pregnancy as well and I am at least thankful that complete strangers don’t approach me and touch my belly!)

“Now that you are adopting you’ll get pregnant!”-Well, gee, that’s exactly why I started all of this. I had some sick notion that if I started to fully engage myself in the adoption journey for one of the 147 million orphans in the world that I would somehow miraculously become pregnant and just put this all aside!
“They’re from Africa?  Will they be black?”-Duh!

“What if they have a disease?”-What if they do?  My precious Grace was healthy as a horse and was struck by a car 12 miles from my home.  There are no guarantees in life.

“Why don’t you adopt from America?”-Because my child(ren) is/ are not from America.

“Those children are so lucky.”-No. WE are the lucky ones!

 “Are they real sisters?”-Well, yes, I suppose they are.

“Are you their real mother?”-Last I checked.  I sometimes feel like Pinocchio and want to shout “I’m a real boy!” 

“I couldn’t do that.”-You’re right. You probably couldn’t.

Describe a memory of your first weeks of motherhood that stands out to you.
Sitting on the washing machine, rocking back and forth saying, “I can’t do this. We need to send them back.”  To which my sweet, dear husband replied, ‘Well honey, we can’t give them back. We need to figure this out together.” And…we did!

In what ways has your parenting style changed with each child?
We currently have 2 very distinct sets of children.  We are parenting 2 pre teens, while parenting 2 preschoolers.  Ugh! 

I have said all along that it is much easier the “second” time around.  The addition of our 5 and 3 year old to the family 20 months ago went fairly smooth.  It is easier when you have the older girls to help out. Plus, you have the knowledge that all of the irritating phases that your children go through are just that…a phase….and that it will pass and that you will survive!

In what ways are your children similar to each other and in what ways are they different?
Our children are certainly all very unique. However, it is funny to see similarities between our 11 year old and the 5 year old.  They are both very passionate and emotional.  This causes some interesting clashes between them, but usually it is due to their similarities.

In what ways are your children similar to you? In what ways are they different from you?
My 11 year old is an exact replica of me…crazy since she was knit together in her biological mom’s belly and not mine.  We are so similar that my husband often calls her “Little T” (my name is Teresa).  She carries her heart on her sleeve and you always know exactly what she is thinking. She is extremely passionate and feels things from her toes.  When she is angry…she is ANGRY!  When she is loving…she is sweet as can be.   I see so many similarities between her and me it is scary. I was definitely predestined to be her mother.

For each of your children, share one of your favorite memories.
Grace loved horses. She was happiest on our annual family vacations to the Outer Banks where the wild horses roam free.  She would just run care free down the beach and watch the horses for hours on end.

Sarah is my serious, more refined daughter.  She is very quiet, yet witty.  Just when you least expect it she can come up with some very funny, dry humor.  While stopped at a stop light one day we saw a small hatchback with a picnic table strapped to the top.  The top of the table laid out on the top of the car, with the legs pointing up to the sky.  After a few moments of awkward silence, Sarah finally broke the silence with a quiet, “Huh….now there’s something you don’t see every day.”  We all broke into hysterical laughter.

Dee is a swimmer. She has been on our local swim team for 7 years.  My favorite memory was watching her at our state meet when she was about 8 years old. She was an entire lane behind the fastest swimmer in her heat. Once she made her flip turn and realized she was far behind she kicked it in and ended up winning her heat.  She looked up at the score board and saw that she had come in first and pumped her little fist in the air. It was priceless!

Hannah is so full of life! She is constantly moving, dancing, singing.  I often look up from what I am doing and can see her shaking her little body to whatever music is on. 

Anita is the baby of the family.  She is such a sweetheart and a snuggle bug.  I love rocking her to sleep every night. When she was still sucking her thumb she would lie in my arms, sucking her thumb with her right hand and she would gently place her left hand, palm open, on my face while I would sing softly to her.

Describe a moment as a mother where you felt overwhelmed.
Just one?!?  Ha!  I generally have at least one overwhelmed moment each day.  When you are a stay at home mom with 4 children, trying to homeschool 2 of them while keeping the other 2 out of trouble, help your husband with a foundation to help bring hope and healing to orphans and vulnerable children, be the wife of a pastor to a church plant to the downtown city filled with broken people and 10,000 refugees from Africa, serve at your local community outreach facility with homework help and meals it is easy to become overwhelmed.  Oh yeah…and don’t forget trying to keep your marriage alive and happy while cooking, cleaning and carpooling to music lessons, soccer, dance, swim and play dates.   If you don’t stay grounded in the Lord and keep your priorities straight you can easily become overwhelmed with the details of life and forget why you are really doing all of this…to grow and nurture these children to love the Lord and to grow into adults who love and serve Him.

What are your favorite ways to relax when you need a little break?
Go out to lunch with my girlfriends. Or take a walk.

What has been the hardest lesson you have had to learn as a mother?
That our children do not belong to us. They belong to God and He only lends them to us….sometimes for a short period of time.

What has been the hardest experience you have gone through as a mother? What did that experience teach you?
The hardest thing I ever had to do as a mother was to bury my daughter.  It has taught me to not take anything for granted. Each day is a gift. Treat it as such!  It is sometimes hard to do in the stress of every day life with children but try to find at least one moment each day when you can look at your children and cherish the treasure that they are.

Looking back on your life as a mother, what, if anything, do you regret?
Not playing more with my girls when they were younger.  If I had it to do over again, I would have left the real cooking and the cleaning so that I could enjoy pretend pies, sidewalk chalk and sand castles with my girls.

What do you think is the most important quality in a mother?
I think every child needs different things from their mother, but overall I would have to say that consistency is the key.  If your children know what to expect from you then they will feel secure in themselves. They will know that you love them by holding them accountable to consistent rules and consequences (maybe not right away but they will as they grow older).

What do you think children need most from their mothers?
To feel loved.  No matter what they do they need to know that you will love them with an unconditional love.

What advice would you give to other mothers out there who are reading this interview?
Stop being so hard on yourself!  You don’t have to be the perfect mother nor do you have to raise the perfect children. Just be willing to learn from your mistakes, laugh at yourself and teach your children what it looks like to be honest about your short comings.

Do you have any tips or tricks that have helped you stay organized, run your household or raise your kids more effectively?
Ha ha!  This is funny.  I think this is a constant battle for all mothers; regardless of where you live.  You can live in a mud hut in Africa or a 5800 square foot home in America and every mother struggles with organization.  No matter how hard you try to keep life organized, your children will always throw a wrench in the plan when they decide to live with you. And that is what kids do…they LIVE with you. They are messy, creative, artistic, inquisitive. All of these things involve messes!  You can have things in place to help you stay organized to a certain degree but please don’t allow your organizational plans to interfere with your children exploring all of their potential to become the person God wants them to be.

Any final thoughts you´d like to share?
Motherhood is hard.  Find some good friends. Not fake friends….REAL friends! The last thing you need is women who are pretending that everything is perfect.  If someone tries to sell you that line of goods…RUN FAR AND FAST from her!  She is a liar!  You need brutally honest, real women around you to help you on this journey.

Get-through-your-Monday Girl Time - SuperMom Julia Rodrick

This Monday morning, or as we affectionately call it around here, ¨Get-through-your-Monday Girl Time¨ we have a very special treat. We have an interview from a veteran mom today, with lots of experience. She has four kids, three of which are pretty cool, and one of which is AWESOME. It´s my mom! (And I am the awesome one. Just in case that wasn´t clear.) I really enjoyed reading this interview, and I think you will appreciate the hard-earned wisdom she has to share. Raising me was a joy, no doubt, but even the most wonderful children have a few lessons for their mom´s, right? Ok, enough of that, on to the good stuff. Coffee? Check. Comfy slippers? Check. Back massage from husband? Check. Well, maybe not, but a girl can dream! Here it comes! Enjoy!

-Ashley

Tell us a little bit about yourself. Who are you?
I’m Julia Rodrick. I am the wife to Phillip. I am the mom to Tina, Todd, Nick and Ashley. I am also the grandma to Travis, Brandon, Bryce, Paige, Isabella and Maddox.

Tell us about your family.
We are a blended family. My two oldest children are from my husband’s first marriage. Our “middle” son is from my first marriage and our youngest is ours, together. In spite of this “blending” I believe our family dynamics reflect a unity that is rare and blessed. I don’t think our kids think of themselves as having “step” relationships with each other. It hasn’t always been easy but I like to think that each of our kids know that we (My husband and I) hold each of them as close in heart equally. There is no “yours” or “mine”, just ours…

How many children do you have, and what are their ages?
Four; Tina 40, Todd 35, Nicholas 30 and Ashley 25

This is an interview about motherhood, but your motherhood is shaped a lot by your marriage. How would you describe your relationship with your husband?
I would say Committed and loyal. We aren’t always best friends but we are  always  in love.

What is the hardest thing about being married?
I believe marriage is about “dying to self” everyday, and doing it willingly. That’s difficult because to do that requires total trust that your spouse will do the same…scary stuff

What is the best thing about being married?
Despite the challenges, it’s fun. It’s an adventure each day.

Describe a memory between you and your husband that really stands out in your mind.
So many…I remember when we bought our first ford truck. I wasn’t thrilled because I didn’t see how it would be something I would use…My husband surprised me the night he brought it home by placing soft blankets in the back, bought wine and chicken to create a picnic in the back of the truck (while Randy Travis’ “Forever and Ever, Amen” played in the background…very sweet)

How did your relationship with your husband change when you became parents?
We were already parents so I can’t say it changed…I will say that it was a challenge to transition from having one 2 ½ year old boy to three kids (including a pre-teen).

How does your parenting style compare with your husband´s?
He is a man of few words when it comes to discipline.  He has a way of communicating expectations and the kids never challenged it.  I am an over-communicator so I’m sure I wore my kids out.

In what ways have you changed since you became a mother?
I hope I am less selfish. I hope that I am more generous. I know that I am much more committed to Christ

Describe a memory of pregnancy that stands out to you.
My two pregnancies were physically demanding. I was very ill during my first. Blood pressures and protein levels were abnormal most of the time. I was hospitalized. I gained a lot of weight. They thought my son “wouldn’t be right” and suggested I terminate the pregnancy at first. I couldn’t do it. It’s amazing how you can love a child when they are just a hope…no bigger than a lima bean. My first husband was absent emotionally so I felt very much alone. I focused all my attention on staying as healthy as possible for the baby. It was difficult because I was trying to finish college and had to work part-time.  My second time around, I was sick but had a lot of emotional support from my new husband. We were excited.

Describe a memory of your first weeks of motherhood that stands out to you.
It felt natural, even though I spent most of the time on the couch nursing. Having my son in my arms was calming. He was a good baby.

In what ways has your parenting style changed with each child?
I think each of our children are very different and we eventually learned that each required a different approach. A firm hand worked for our oldest son…it NEVER worked for our youngest daughter.

In what ways are your children similar to each other and in what ways are they different?
Tina is guarded but very loyal to those she loves. She is giving and patient, creative and sensible. Todd is very black and white. He needs control, is very strong-willed, but can be very loving. Nick is a funny, creative, bold young man with an intense sense of duty. He loves life and loves with passion. Ashley is strong-willed, but fair. She loves deeply and with fierce loyalty. She is a philosopher and dreamer but is sensible. She likes to plan life and used to get pretty frustrated when life didn’t conform to her plans. She is very funny and entertaining.

In what ways are your children similar to you? In what ways are they different from you?
I think the sense of loyalty comes from both my husband and me. I think the strong-will comes from me… I think the dreamer is from me but the sensible side is from my husband. I know it’s irritating to ALL my kids that I’m a morning person!

For each of your children, share one of your favorite memories.
Tina’s wedding day (wow, she was so beautiful), Todd when he hit the softball for the first time, he has some disability so that was HUGE! Nick’s first step. It was just him and me, playing after his bath and, after helping him to steady, he took two steps. I was amazed because he was so chubby I didn’t think he could balance. Ashley, the day she started to read. I knew she was going to be unstoppable. Of course her wedding was very special too…

Describe a moment as a mother where you felt overwhelmed.
Gee, just one moment…sometimes it has seemed that I felt overwhelmed for months! Most recently, I’d say the day my son returned after deployment. It was a very tough period in our family and great relief to have him home safe. It broke my heart as I realized how emotionally affected he was from his experience there. It still does.

What are your favorite ways to relax when you need a little break?
I like making jewelry, reading Max Lucado, shopping or enjoying a good movie.

What has been the hardest lesson you have had to learn as a mother?
That I’m not always right in my choices. I thank God that I have forgiving children...

What has been the hardest experience you have gone through as a mother? What did that experience teach you?
I’m still going through it, but I think that it’s that you can’t make choices for your (grown) children. Totally have to rely on God.

Looking back on your life as a mother, what, if anything, do you regret?
Working  full time. I know, with our situation, it was unavoidable but I wish I would have been around more. I so relate to young moms who try to balance work with family. It’s so difficult.

What do you think is the most important quality in a mother?
Faith, know what you believe. Grace, extending to your children at all times; Integrity, don’t compromise your faith. Protection but balancing when to let go (still learning that one, even after all these years)

What do you think children need most from their mothers?
Humor, Love, confirmation that they are special and worthwhile. Forgiveness when they “screw-up”

What advice would you give to other mothers out there who are reading this interview?
After 30 years, I’m still learning so, I’d say the reality of that would be that life is a process. Hang in there,  enjoy your children, be genuine and honest and fair… don’t sweat the small stuff…

Do you have any tips or tricks that have helped you stay organized, run your household or raise your kids more effectively?
Do a little each day to stay ahead. Teach your kids early to clean up after themselves. Make it fun. Don’t judge perfection…if the bed is crooked, they missed some crumbs, etc. but they tried… yeah for them!

Get-through-your-Monday Girl Time - SuperMom Jessica Llancafil

Hello, hello! How is your Monday so far? Well, it´s about to get better! For our weekly ¨Get-through-your-Monday Girl Time¨, wouldn´t you just love to chat with your best Argentinian buddy? What´s that? You don´t have one? Well, not to worry. I will lend you mine! All the way from Argentina, my friend Jessica is sharing with us today in her mommy interview. She has lots of great insight for such a young mommy! (So great, in fact, that I took the trouble to translate the whole interview into English for you!) So make yourself a nice cup of South American coffee and get in the mood for some girl talk with your new Argentinian friend! Enjoy!

-Ashley

PS: Don´t forget to leave comments!

Tell us a little bit about yourself. Who are you?
My name is Jessica Paola, I was born in Trelew in Chubut Province, a city in the south of my country known as the Argentine Patagonia. I am 21!

I am a mom, a wife, a student, and a servant of God´s Word. With all of that, I have a lot of activities and sometimes I get worn out. I travel a lot, and I study through a distance learning program which requires dedication and effort.

Tell us about your family.
My family is made up of 7 people, my mom Mirian who is 40, my dad Raúl who is 45, and my 3 sisters and just one brother.

From the age of 5 my parents came to know God, and since then we believe in Him.
I have my own family two, since I have been married for 2 years. My husband´s name is Jonatan, he is 25 and was born in Bogotá, Colombia. Together we lead a ministry which has blessed hundreds and thousands of people, and with our young age we have learned that age is not an obstacle for anyone who has a dream, and even less when God calls them.

My husband and I met in Argentina, when I was 18 and he was 21. We fell in love and in 2010 we were married.
How many children do you have, and what are their ages?
I have just one son, the apple of my eye. He is 1 and a half.

This is an interview about motherhood, but your motherhood is shaped a lot by your marriage. How would you describe your relationship with your husband?
My relationship with my husband is really good. I think we both have qualities in common, and one that is very important is dialogue. We both believe that to avoid problems, arguments, and other issues, the most important thing is dialogue. We get along really well, thank God, and we have a lot in common, including that we both love soccer.

What is the hardest thing about being married?
When we were first married, we had language differences, since we are from two different cultures. Many times we didn´t realize that the other person could be offended by a word that in your own culture is considered normal. But those things happened at the beginning, and thanks to God we have been getting through it. I think the hardest part of our marriage were the first three months.
Being married is complex, that implies adapting in everything, maybe getting rid of aspects of our attitudes and personalities is the hardest part.

What is the best thing about being married?
The affection and the companionship. We love to be together and support each other. We both have our own dreams and dreams in common, but when we carry out those individual dreams we support each other as if those dreams were our own. Also, in our marriage and our home there is lots of dialogue and affection, and that´s the nicest part.

Describe a memory between you and your husband that really stands out in your mind.
The moment we got engaged.
On one of our walks, of which we had a few while dating, on the beach, we decided to get married and got engaged. I remember that after that I didn´t see him for several months because he had to go on a long trip and was out of the country.
One afternoon on September 9th, sitting on the dock of the beach we made the most important decision of our lives, and we used pretend rings...ha! I will never forget it!
How did your relationship with your husband change when you became parents?
It got much better. A lot of things changed for the better when our baby came that really changed our lives.
We became much more united, a child can really mature a relationship...our character, time and dedication became strengths for our marriage.

How does your parenting style compare with your husband´s?
Well, it´s similar, although he is more of a disciplinarian, and I like to give second chances. Our baby is really active, so he makes lots of messes, and his dad tends to punish him more or challenge him, but I spoil him more, I correct him, but I spoil him, too.

In other ways our parenting styles are similar, we try to get him to eat well, we let him experiment.

In what ways have you changed since you became a mother?
Wow, I really changed 100%. I think the fact that I am a mom has made me stronger in every way, my way of seeing life changed. I am happier, I enjoy all of the little details of life, which I didn´t do before.
Since my baby was born I see myself as capable of much more. I was always a multitasker, but now I think I can do much more...I feel able to fight for things I wouldn´t have before. It´s impressive, but a child has the capacity to change a person´s whole life.

Describe a memory of pregnancy that stands out to you.
Here I could describe so many, but I will share one. At 3 and a half months of pregnancy the baby kicked for the first time and wouldn´t stop kicking. No one believed me, not even the doctor, because she said he was still too small...but it was such a unique sensation that I cried and I felt so excited that my baby wanted to communicate with me. It was beautiful and I will never forget it.

Describe a memory of your first weeks of motherhood that stands out to you.
I remember that my baby was born and slept all day and all night, he wouldn´t even nurse, he just slept. I almost didn´t sleep, trying to look after him, seeing if he woke up, making sure he could breathe, checking his diaper...haha...it was beautiful. After about three days his cycle changed and he wouldn´t let me sleep at night, he would sleep during the day and come alive at night...haha. I remember even wetting his face to wake him up and even that didn´t work. But thank God it only lasted about a week.

What would you do differently in the future if you have more children?
From the beginning I would let the baby sleep in the crib. That was a mistake I made, although luckily nothing has happened while he has slept, but he still sleeps with us. He got used to feeling us next to him to be able to sleep.

Describe your child´s personality.
Elías Jair has a very set character. I think the fact that we travel all the time with him, and he is around adults, has made his personality develop quickly, in some ways very different than other babies. He is very adaptable, to different climates, places, food, people.

He´s a baby that, when he doesn´t like someone, is totally serious, and it makes me laugh because nothing will get him to smile. But if he likes you he is super sweet. His personality is really well-defined.

In what ways are your children similar to you? In what ways are they different from you?
My baby is like me in lots of ways: His sleeping position (which I won´t share, haha) is just like mine, his laugh, he is affectionate, he is cranky all day if he doesn´t sleep well, his eyes and eyelashes are like mine, he loves ice cream...amongst other things.

For each of your children, share one of your favorite memories.
I store away all of my memories with love. The truth is that I have stored up so many memories in my mind and heart, but I will just pick one that came to mind right now...The day he started walking. I remember his joy, his face was so happy because he took his first steps, he looked surprised and smiled when he saw everyone looking at him...He took his first steps walking over to a young girl...It was one of the most exciting moments.

Describe a moment as a mother where you felt overwhelmed.
Those times when the baby doesn´t want anyone but momma, and he doesn´t let me get anything done...I can´t eat, go anywhere, it´s uncomfortable and exhausting. There have been lots of days when I needed to do homework or laundry and my son wouldn´t let me. A lot of times I run out of patience. Being a mom is hard work, not easy at all.

There are moments when you want to run away, be alone, with no noise and nobody counting on you every second.

What are your favorite ways to relax when you need a little break?
The only way I can relax is being with my family, without talking about work, money, contacts, trips...just enjoying the love of our family, eating an ice cream, snuggling together in bed...that is so nice...a few hours like that and I´m as good as new.

What has been the hardest lesson you have had to learn as a mother?
A lesson that life teaches all moms, that we´re not in control of things. As a mom we would like to have everything under control; the health of our children, their development, growth and lots of other things, but life teaches us that we can´t be everywhere at once. Life teaches us that our children get sick, even though we don´t want them to, and they have accidents, even though it hurts us, and they cry, even though we wish we could avoid it. That is the most difficult lesson that I am still learning, that I can´t control everything, which is why I always place my family in God´s hands.

Looking back on your life as a mother, what, if anything, do you regret?
Honestly I don´t regret anything. Being a mom has been God´s best gift to me on this earth, and I wouldn´t change it for anything and I´m not sorry for any of it. I know that as a mom sometimes we have to go through not-so-pleasant things, but I´m the one in charge of taking the stones out of the path, along with God´s help.

What do you think is the most important quality in a mother?
I think all mothers need extreme patience and love. I think that our children go through different stages and grow in maturity, and you can´t avoid it, but with patience we learn to get through it and go through those stages with our children.

What do you think children need most from their mothers?
A good example. Children learn from everything they see and hear. When a child is growing, his sense of perception gets sharper and sharper. Everything they see, even if we aren´t necessarily teaching them, they learn. I think it´s good to talk to them, but it´s also good to give a good example in all that we do. Tomorrow they will be everything they saw in mom and dad.

What advice would you give to other mothers out there who are reading this interview?
The first big piece of advice is that we always have to rely on God´s help, because without Him we can´t do anything.

For those women who aren´t moms yet, but are about to be or want to be someday, don´t be nervous about labor or start yelling. Although there is some inevitable pain in that moment, try to enjoy the moment and keep in mind that the pain will be over soon.

Although as a woman we always have a thousand things to do each day, look after our husbands, work, buy groceries, travel, study, and other things...always take time out to observe all the details in your children, because time flies so fast and you can´t get it back...Enjoy every stage, every smile and cry, enjoy being a mother. We should earn the title of mother every day.

Try to give your children  good things, good advice, good nutrition...and how great it is if we can teach them more than one language...the time in life when the brain absorbs the most information is in childhood...teach your children wisdom, because what children learn will shape their lives forever.

Above all things, put your children in God´s hands each day. He does what we can´t do, and it´s God who looks after them at all times.

Get-through-your-Monday Girl Time - SuperMom Kimbre Varney

Another Monday, are you excited? Well, of course you are, because that means it´s time for ¨Get-through-your-Monday Girl Time¨! I have another knock-out interview for you, this time from my sweet friend Kimbre. She is a young mom, but don´t let that fool you, she has been through a lot! I love her upbeat attitude and her total reliance on God to get through everything from crankiness to immune disorders. I also wouldn´t mind eating one of those pies I see her post pictures of on Facebook. (hint, hint) I loved her interview, and I bet you will, too! Coffee in hand? Let´s do this! Enjoy!

-Ashley

PS- I know tons of you moms are reading these interviews, since you tell me so, but don´t forget to become part of the girl time and leave comments for our SuperMoms!

Tell us about your family.
Where do I even begin? I LOVE my family! My husband and I married on July 12, 2008. I can’t believe it will be 4 years in just a few months! Time really does fly when you are with the one you love. It seems like our love for one another continues to grow deeper in every circumstance that we confront because we have the amazing example of Christ to follow.  My husband proudly serves in the United States Air Force and just completed his third year of service.  In August of 2010, we welcomed our son, Gideon, into our family.

How many children do you have, and what are their ages?
I have an awesome 20 month old little boy.

This is an interview about motherhood, but your motherhood is shaped a lot by your marriage. How would you describe your relationship with your husband?
My husband and I have a very strong marriage because of the grace that God has given us. Without God as the center of our marriage, who knows where we would be.

What is the hardest thing about being married?
The hardest thing about being married is putting your spouse before yourself and being submissive. It is our natural tendency, since the fall of man, to be self-centered and want to rule over our husbands.  

What is the best thing about being married?
You get to share the wonder of God together and walk hand –in-hand with your true love.  God has perfectly designed marriage to bring honor and glory to His name. The constant encouragement from my husband is truly amazing!

Describe a memory between you and your husband that really stands out in your mind.
My husband currently serves in the United States Air Force. He enlisted after we had been married for eight months. When he left for basic training, it was extremely difficult for both of us. When graduation weekend finally came around, I flew down to Texas to see him for the first time in 8.5 weeks. My heart was pounding, my palms were sweating. I was so nervous to see him again. When he finally came around the corner during the ceremony, I could not wait to hug him. The most torturous part was that they made you wait until after the ceremony to say hi. As I watched him from a distance, I knew that my life had drastically changed for the better. I already knew that I loved this man, but I didn’t realize how much I needed him. Spending time away from my spouse was the most difficult thing I have had to do, but God showed me how to appreciate the love that he has given us.

How did your relationship with your husband change when you became parents?
When my son was born, he was only 5.8 pounds even though he was full term. Doctors could not explain why, but thought that he was perfectly healthy.  After a few days at home, we got a call from our son’s doctor telling us that we needed to make our way to the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia (CHOP). My son’s body was not producing enough red blood cells for his body to function properly. At 12 days old, Gideon received his first blood transfusion. This is only a small part of our story, but I thought it was important to give a little background before I actually answered this question. When my son was born, my relationship with my husband became so much stronger. Everything that we had experienced in our dating and married lives could not prepare us for what we were going through. I felt myself leaning on my husband because I couldn’t even stand by myself. We had no idea what was going on or what to expect. We only knew that we needed to trust that God was in complete control of the situation. Becoming parents completely changed our relationship, but in a great way. We learned that we needed to utterly rely on God in any and every circumstance.

How does your parenting style compare with your husband´s?
The biggest way that my husband and I differ in parenting is what we allow our son to eat. I am usually very strict in what I allow him to eat, but my husband wants my son to experience everything the world has to offer for food. Other than that, my husband and I talk a lot about parenting our son and I try to allow my husband to decide how we can best raise our son. In our society today, men are made to be domesticated when God made them to be warriors. Because of this, I take the lead from my husband and let our little boy be a boy. We are not saying that you don’t need to discipline your boys, but that God created them differently than women and they need to be raised differently.

In what ways have you changed since you became a mother?
I have changed in so many ways since becoming a mother. I can take a shower in less than 5 minutes, I desperately rely on coffee to get me through the day, and I often find myself praying more for the strength to make it until daddy comes home from work =)  I have encountered SO many trying experiences since becoming a mom and it has truly taught me to rely more on God. I have complete and total trust that God has a purpose for everything that we experience in life. He plainly shows us through the most horrific experience in history – the death of His Son – that everything can be used for His good.  If the greatest good in our history came from the most horrific experience, then there has to be good in EVERY situation.  Romans 8:28 “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.”

Describe a memory of pregnancy that stands out to you.
Gideon has always been a very active baby, even when he was still inside me. I remember very distinctly, near the end of my pregnancy, Mattie and I were doing a paper route for a friend really early in the morning. Gideon decided to wake up and play ¨guess what body part¨. I grabbed Mattie’s hand as we were driving and had him feel all the little bony parts that were sticking out. We had so much fun trying to guess what we were feeling.

Describe a memory of your first weeks of motherhood that stands out to you.
My husband and I decided to wait to find out the gender of our baby until he was born. Many people called us old fashioned and some even said we were crazy. We struggled for a very long time on what to name our precious baby. We had so many that we liked, but couldn’t decide. We wanted a strong and meaningful name. I can’t even begin to express the sheer joy that we experienced when my midwife placed my son in my arms for the first time and asked me if it was a boy or a girl. I was crying so hard I had to blink the tears from my eyes and then began to sob all over again when I saw that it was a boy!  I couldn’t stop saying it’s a boy! It’s a boy! His name is Gideon Tucker! It was truly the most amazing experience ever. What a miracle!

In what ways are your children similar to you? In what ways are they different from you?
Our family and friends often joke that Gideon looks like my husband, but acts like me. Gideon loves to sing and dance. He has had a love for music since he was first born. His favorite song when he was little was Give Me Jesus by Jeremy Camp. Whatever the reason was for his crying, this song would stop him in an instant. His love of dance comes from me, but he does not get his dance moves from me.

For each of your children, share one of your favorite memories.
I don’t think that I can pick just one, but I absolutely love when Gideon laughs. His laugh is so captivating and it makes you laugh right along with him. Even just last night, we were getting him ready for bed and he thought that brushing his teeth was hysterical. He must have been overtired, but it was awesome to be caught up in that moment with my two boys. 

Describe a moment as a mother where you felt overwhelmed.
Right after Gideon was born, when he ended up back in the hospital, I was completely overwhelmed. Mattie and I have always wanted at least two children of our own and then to adopt. I felt downright dismayed by all of the medical problems that we were dealing with. Even though I wanted to experience pregnancy again, I let the devastating experience overpower me. I was in tears telling my husband that we were never having any more children. God has truly been working in our hearts and through the experiences that we have gone through. We are trusting that if God wants us to have more children with medical issues, that He will give us His strength to make it through.

What are your favorite ways to relax when you need a little break?
Once Gideon is down for the night and all of my daily chores are done, I love to read, make crafts, or run. My husband realizes that I do need some time away from our son every now and then. Even though he is extremely busy with his work and school schedules, my husband allows me to attend ladies Bible study every other Tuesday night. He is the most caring and loving man I have ever met.

What has been the hardest lesson you have had to learn as a mother?
I think that the hardest lesson I have had to learn as a mom is self-sacrifice. When you become a wife, you learn to make sacrifices for your spouse, but it is nothing compared to the sacrifices you make as a mom. You sacrifice sleep, time alone with your spouse, quiet devotional time, and a regulated schedule. You no longer get to decide exactly what happens in your day. Even if you have your whole day planned out, it is often changed by unexpected blow outs, melt downs, and crankiness.

What has been the hardest experience you have gone through as a mother? What did that experience teach you?
I have given you a small glimpse of the medical issues that we have experienced with our son, but I will further explain what has happened and what we have learned from it. Gideon was born very small. Although he was born a few days after his due date, he was only 5.8 lbs. when he was born. The doctors could not explain why, but thought that he was healthy. Upon further testing, they discovered that Gideon was extremely anemic. This caused him to sleep most of the time because his body was working overtime to function as close to normal as possible. Gideon received his first blood transfusion at 12 days old and his second one at 13 days. After the Hematologists performed dozens of test to assess what was ailing Gideon, they did not come to any conclusions. Miraculously, Gideon’s blood counts remained fairly stable. We absolutely attribute it to the wonderful work of God.

Gideon’s first winter was filled with runny noses and ear infections. Near the end of winter, Gideon contracted bronchitis and stopped growing. He had always been near the bottom of the averages, but around 6 months of age, Gideon flat lined in growth. This frightened the doctors and in turn it frightened us too. Gideon was sent to a Gastroenterology specialist to see if he was not properly receiving nutrition from the food that he was eating. The testing was inconclusive and they decided to place Gideon on calorie boosters to try and increase his weight gain. During the process, they also sent him to a Pulmonologist to assess his breathing and they thought that he might have cystic fibrosis. Through testing and analysis, they discovered that Gideon was asthmatic and he did not have cystic fibrosis or sleep apnea. During the testing, they did notice some abnormalities in his immune system. The core immunoglobulins that make up his immune system were extremely low. Furthermore, from this discovery we were sent to an Immunology specialist.  Right before Gideon’s first birthday, they discovered that he had an immune deficiency. The doctors told us that Gideon was too young for them to know exactly what was causing this imbalance in his body and that they would have to wait until he was older to complete the testing. With the doctors, we discussed what this meant for out little man. They explained to us that Gideon’s body could not fight off normal infections and that we needed to be extremely careful about what he is exposed to. The course of treatment was called IVIG and was needed every 28 days. At the same time that we were learning all of these new things about Gideon’s immune system, his Gastroenterologist was extremely dissatisfied with how Gideon was growing and was trying to force us into using a feeding tube. It was extremely hard as a parent, but once we heard both sides of the argument, we decided to start the IVIG treatment and forgo the feeding tube. The Immunologist decided to do 8 treatments (once a month) of IVIG and then take Gideon off for a few months to test how his body did without it. Through the 8 months of treatment, we experienced minor reactions to the sudden influx of immunoglobulins in Gideon’s body, but our greatest struggle was getting our rambunctious little guy to sit through a 4 hour treatment while attached to an IV poll. We are currently in the waiting period. Gideon received his last IVIG treatment in March 2012 and will be going in for testing on June 7, 2012. We are praying for a miracle. How amazing would it be to hear the words, “he is perfectly healthy”? We have seen God heal our little man before and we know that He can do it again. Through this whole process, we have learned to trust God. The rougher situations become, the more we need to rely on God’s strength to get us through. We never would have chosen this experience for ourselves, but through it we have become a stronger family, learned to trust that God is in control, and had the opportunity to witness to many families.

*Update: I asked Kimbre to update me a little on Gideon´s health. Here is what she said: ¨Since G's testing, they discovered that his counts had gone slightly up. They are not normal, but it was a great sign to see them go up. Because of this, his Immunologist decided to take him off the monthly treatment of IVIG! He has been doing quite well. Throughout this cold and flu season we are being very cautious and as long as he doesn't have more then three infections, he will continue without the treatment. So far, he hasn't had any!!! We daily pray for his his health and thank God for his life. Gideon still is very small in size and has problems growing, but we have seen God work in his little body before and are confident that he will continue to do so.¨

Looking back on your life as a mother, what, if anything, do you regret?
I am not a perfect mom. I have made mistakes and learned from them, but I don’t regret anything.

What do you think is the most important quality in a mother?
I think that the most important quality in a mother is love. Without love, nothing else matters.

What do you think children need most from their mothers?
The absolute most important thing that a child needs from their mother is Christ’s love. It is extremely important to raise our children in obedience to God. As hard as it may be, we need to teach our children about the wonderful things that God has done for us and discipline them out of love. Proverbs 13:24 is very clear when it states, “Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.”  I don’t think that any parent likes to discipline their child, but it is very important to love our children in this way.

What advice would you give to other mothers out there who are reading this interview?
Talk to other mothers and pray. As a mom, you experience so many new things and it is hard to know what to do. The Bible is a great resource and a strong relationship with God is essential. It can be difficult to adjust to parenthood, but devotional time is extremely important. The book, A Gospel Primer for Christians: Learning to see the glory of God’s love by Milton Vincent is what helped me to receive nuggets of the gospel when I did not have much time or energy in the beginning of my mommy hood. I would often read it while nursing.  Another tip is listening to sermons while in the shower. I would wait until Gideon’s nap time to take a shower and I could spend extra time relaxing in the shower and listening to the gospel.

Do you have any tips or tricks that have helped you stay organized, run your household or raise your kids more effectively?
Go with the flow. Things don’t always go the way you plan or the way you want them to, but if you trust that God is in control, He will not steer you wrong.

Get-through-your-Monday Girl Time - SuperMom Darci Brown

Happy Monday, girlfriends! You used to dread Mondays, but now you love them, because you know they mean ¨Get-through-your-Monday Girl Time¨! It hasn´t gotten any easier to say, but it gets to be more and more fun every week, right? I know, the anticipation is killing you, so I will let you get to reading our latest mommy interview! This week we are hearing from my good friend Darci, who I have known since we were just wee little high schoolers on the cheerleading squad...*sigh* Now we are all grown up and mommy-fied, but Darci has a fun, laid-back style of parenting that is refreshing to be around! Her interview is light-hearted, just like she is, and the perfect thing to go with your first (or fifth, no judging here) cup of coffee this morning! Enjoy!

-Ashley

Tell us a little bit about yourself. Who are you?
My name is Darci Brown.  I’m from Champaign, IL but live in Bloomington, IL now.

Tell us about your family. 
I have been married to my husband, Josh for 3 years and we’ve been together 5 ½.

How many children do you have, and what are their ages? 
We have one daughter, Hayli who turned 2 on 5/14.  Hopefully, we’ll be having another one soon. *UPDATE: Since the time this interview was written, Darci got her wish, and is expecting a baby boy on March 16th! Congratulations, Darci!*

This is an interview about motherhood, but your motherhood is shaped a lot by your marriage. How would you describe your relationship with your husband? 
I think our marriage is very typical.  We definitely have our arguments and even though we might not always like each other at the end of the day we always love each other.

What is the hardest thing about being married? 
I think the hardest thing is just coming up with new things to do and stuff to talk about.  Keeping things new and exciting is an important part of staying together.

What is the best thing about being married? 
The best thing is always having someone there for you.  Whether you’re celebrating or need a shoulder to cry on you can count on your husband.

Describe a memory between you and your husband that really stands out in your mind. 
The two biggest ones for me are when he proposed and our wedding day.  I also love thinking about him holding Hayli in the hospital.  I have a couple pictures of him holding her for the first time since I was out of it from an emergency C-section, I didn’t get to see him but I will cherish those pictures forever.

Did your relationship with your husband change when you became parents? 
Yes and no.  There are things that if we didn’t become parents I would have never known so I am grateful for that.  I think it’s made us closer and I can’t wait to add to our family and make the bond even stronger.

How does your parenting style compare with your husband´s? 
I definitely have more patience than he does.  I more just let her figure things out and take her time and he wants things done right away.  Other than that we’re pretty similar.

In what ways have you changed since you became a mother? 
I actually don’t think I’ve changed that much.  I have always wanted to be a mom and knew my whole life that I would have kids.  If there’s anything that’s different I guess I’m a little more emotional but mainly just toward Hayli which I think is pretty normal.

Describe a memory of pregnancy that stands out to you. 
Well, this is not the prettiest memory but it definitely stands out.  I was probably 7ish months and was at the OB office for a regular appointment.  They took my blood for a test after my appointment.  I hate having my blood drawn and even when I’m not pregnant I can’t stand it.  So after she took it I asked if I could sit there for a minute because I felt like I was going to pass out.  After sitting for 5 or 10 minutes I thought I was fine.  I get up; walk out of the room and towards the appointment desk to schedule my next one.  Just as I’m about there I start puking.  There is nowhere even close that I could throw up in so I have no choice but to do it all over the floor.  Luckily, there’s a door separating the exam rooms and the waiting room so not everyone saw but it was definitely still embarrassing.

Describe a memory of your first weeks of motherhood that stands out to you. 
The memory that stands out most is just sitting in her room rocking with her.  She wanted nothing to do with the crib so we rocked a lot.

In what ways are your children similar to you? In what ways are they different from you? 
She’s definitely similar to me in looks, especially in when her hair is wet in the bathtub.  And she has her father’s impatience for sure.

For each of your children, share one of your favorite memories. 
I can’t pick just one but my favorite thing to do with Hayli is play at the gym.  She takes classes every week and I love seeing her face light up, especially when she’s jumping on the trampoline.

Describe a moment as a mother where you felt overwhelmed. 
I definitely felt overwhelmed in the beginning when everything was so new and I was trying to figure out a routine.

What are your favorite ways to relax when you need a little break? 
Honestly, my favorite thing to do is either just chill out and watch TV or go out shopping with Hayli.

What has been the hardest lesson you have had to learn as a mother? 
The hardest lesson I’ve learned is to just relax and not get worked up about the little things.  Every child is different and there is no two that do things in the same way or at the same pace and each one is a gift from God.

What has been the hardest experience you have gone through as a mother? What did that experience teach you? 
The hardest experience has been getting Hayli to sleep.  It’s definitely a process and there have been tears shed (mostly on her part).  It has taught me patience and understanding.

Looking back on your life as a mother, what, if anything, do you regret? 
I don’t think there is anything that I regret.  I have loved every minute, the good and bad, and I can’t wait for what is to come and going through all the stages again with our second.

What do you think is the most important quality in a mother? 
There are definitely several important qualities, one being patience and another flexibility.  Being able to change your schedule or what’s going on is important.  A sort of go with the flow attitude will help especially in the beginning.

What do you think children need most from their mothers? 
I think the most important thing is love.  They need to know that we are here no matter what and will always love them.

What advice would you give to other mothers out there who are reading this interview? 
I would say just remember that you know your baby best and there is no right or wrong way; do whatever you feel is right for your child.  There are a ton of excellent resources out there but the best way is to listen to God and follow your heart.

Do you have any tips or tricks that have helped you stay organized, run your household or raise your kids more effectively? 
I would say just try to keep a calendar of all the important dates (appts, playdates, etc.). 

Any final thoughts you´d like to share? 
Don’t be afraid to ask other moms for advice.  Probably 99.9% of the time there is someone else that has gone through the exact same thing you are and it can help tremendously to have someone to talk to that knows exactly how you’re feeling.

Get-through-your-Monday Girl Time - SuperMom Dusty Koepp

Monday, glorious Monday! Day of our favorite moment of the week: ¨Get-through-your-Monday Girl Time¨! Are you as excited as I am? Well, you should be, because today´s interview is wonderful! I´d like to introduce you to Dusty, my friend and, I guess, cousin. She is an experienced mom, and I really envy her zen-like mothering skills, considering her brood of playful and active children! I love this interview because it comes from someone who has been a mom long enough to learn those important mommy lessons, but is still human. (A desirable quality in our fellow girlfriends.) Let her advice and stories encourage you this morning, along with that caffeine burst (or whatever it is you do Monday mornings) from your super jumbo coffee cup. Enjoy!

-Ashley

Tell us a little bit about yourself. Who are you?
Growing up I didn't really have a desire to find a husband like some women do, and I didn't think I had the patience to be a mother.  My perspective changed when I started dating my husband in college. He had such a strong desire to be married and have a family that God softened my heart to the idea. During college I had trouble fully committing to a field of study and eventually graduated with the major of psychology because of it's broad possibilities.  Nevertheless, I could never really envision myself in my future job. Now I know it's because God had a different path for me.  I've now been a stay at home mom for 6 years. I feel like I'm always learning to do my 'job' better. Two year ago when we started home schooling, I thought the kids would be doing all the learning, but God has definitely found His own teaching moments for me.

Tell us about your family.
Our family make-up is fairly traditional. First and foremost, we believe in the one true God. We strive to center our choices and child rearing on His teachings found in the Bible. With God's direction, we decided early on that I would stay home to raise and teach the children, while my husband, Jake, works outside the home. However, that's about were our traditional roles begin the blur. Jake works long and sometimes inconvenient hours. That being said, I am not a very patient or "delicate" woman and you can often find me doing some traditional husband chores (i.e. mowing & trimming the lawn) along with my other daily tasks.  As a whole we try...to serve God, love others, be productive, and find time to have fun.  Yes, we try.

How many children do you have, and what are their ages?
We have the privilege of raising three children (2 girls and 1 boy Ages 6, 4, 23 month old).

This is an interview about motherhood, but your motherhood is shaped a lot by your marriage. How would you describe your relationship with your husband?
Our relationship is ever changing and growing.  It seems like with our busy lifestyle and three kids we often have to figure out how to relate to each other. 

What is the hardest thing about being married?
Compromises.  We have the hardest time making decisions everyone ends up being happy with.

What is the best thing about being married?
Not only did I marry my best friend, but he's also my gift from God and He knows that I am his. There's nothing better than the peace and joy of knowing that where I fall short God made Jake to fill in and vice versa.

Describe a memory between you and your husband that really stands out in your mind.
I remember at the end one of our first fights we both started laughing about some joke one of us made.  My husband remarked,"look at us, we're laughing."  I replied, "yup, as long as we can make each other laugh we'll be just fine."  It was just such a relief to end our emotionally-charged disagreement with joyful laughter.

How did your relationship with your husband change when you became parents?
We became pregnant just a few months into our marriage so it's kind of hard to remember when we weren't parents, but I think our relationship became more serious.  It no longer was just us. We suddenly had a family and a quickly growing one at that.

How does your parenting style compare with your husband's?
The longer we've been parents it seems like our parenting style has become more alike.  However, I have more rules and I'm a more uptight about rough play.  I think moms tend to think more about all the ways something could go wrong or how someone could get hurt.

In what ways have you changed since you became a mother?
I see things differently.  I want to protect my children's innocence so the things I used to think were in "poor taste" are now unwelcome in my home or children's presence.  

Describe a memory of pregnancy that stands out to you.
With each of our children I've strived to give birth naturally using the Bradley method, which is very birth-coach involved.  With our first I was in labor for 23.5 hours, and my husband was by my side through all of it.  We had three doulas aid us in the process and many nurses along with our doctor come to visit. It felt really nice to hear how well we were doing and to hear others brag on how well it all went later, but the best part was that we got to point to God's strength and glory.  Without the Lord by our side, that labor could have gone in a terrible direction.  It was such a blessing to have that wonderful experience with my husband as we officially became parents.

Describe a memory of your first weeks of motherhood that stands out to you.
I remember being in a weird fog after we left the hospital.  I was tired, emotionally drained, and overwhelmed through those first few weeks.  I remember thinking I couldn't wait for this baby to be born, but I'd love to just be pregnant again because I knew what to do then.  I think it probably took a little over a month before I started feeling like myself and things felt easier.

In what ways has your parenting style changed with each child?
I've let more things go.  I don't do everything according to the parenting books like I did with my first.  Sometimes you have to cut corners where it's safe to so you can keep up with the things that really matter. 

In what ways are your children similar to each other and in what ways are they different?
Each of them has their own personality, disposition, and preferences.  Our oldest is probably the most dramatic.  I blame myself a little.  Being the first, I overreacted about most things. Our second born is probably the most detailed oriented and the most stubborn.  She's the one that will spend the most time working on an art project and she won't leave the table till she's done.  I've joked that she was stubborn from the beginning because she was five days over due and had to be induced. Our youngest is super smiley and the most physically aggressive.  Everywhere we go people comment on how cute his smile is, but he is not to be crossed because he's also known by his sisters to have a mean pinch.

In what ways are your children similar to you? In what ways are they different from you?
They are pretty creative and crafty like me. The girls often ask to do projects and they all love to repurpose toys and make up new games.

However, they are all much more bold than I have ever considered myself. 

For each of your children, share one of your favorite memories.
G: This past school year I remember finishing up a lesson that had been a little tough for her. When it finally clicked, she turned to me and said, "you're the best, mom."

E:  She's our little gracious one.  Recently, we went shopping for her big sister's birthday gift and not once did she think of herself.  She continuously thought about her sister and would she would like.

A:  A few months ago we went to Shell Island, Florida.  As soon as he saw the ocean, he ran as fast as he could for the water.  He would have dove right in if I hadn't caught him... my little adventurer.

Describe a moment as a mother where you felt overwhelmed.
Having our second child was probably my most overwhelming time.  I've struggled with postpartum depression with each of our children's births, but going from one, who was 19 months, to two was the hardest.

What are your favorite ways to relax when you need a little break?
I love to have a cup of coffee and watch a creative design show or funny sitcom.

What has been the hardest lesson you have had to learn as a mother?
I can't control and protect my children from everything.  Sometimes they are going to get hurt or make poor choices.  In those times we just get to help with the aftermath.  The only unfailing thing I can do is pray for God's covering when I can't protect them myself.

What has been the hardest experience you have gone through as a mother? What did that experience teach you? 
The hardest experience I've had as a mother was losing our twin sons.  Three years ago we had a miscarriage. We had two kids already. I'd had healthy pregnancies and never thought it could really happen to me. It really made me value my children in a very different way. It was also time that I learned to lean on the Lord and others.  Other women I knew shared there stories and shoulders with me.  I was so blessed by God provision and support.

Looking back on your life as a mother, what, if anything, do you regret?
Those times I've been too hard on my children.  There are times I have lost my temper and had to ask my children for forgiveness.  Those are the times I've had to ask the Lord to cover my mistakes.

What do you think is the most important quality in a mother?Patience. It's the quality I've found lacking in myself.  I've often joked that patience is God's life lesson for me.

What do you think children need most from their mothers?
Encouragement.  We all need encouragement, but sometimes we forget during all the correction to praise our children. Sometimes we need to catch our kids doing something good.

What advice would you give to other mothers out there who are reading this interview?
Find mentor moms, but don't be negatively comparative.  Your going to make mistakes and have short comings but everyone does.  Those are the times we need to choose to learn a lesson rather than beat ourselves up.

Do you have any tips or tricks that have helped you stay organized, run your household or raise your kids more effectively?
The kitchen is our house hub. I keep a wall calendar of everyone's schedule; a small bulletin board to pin notes to; a plastic file bin to hold bills and important papers. However, the best advice I can give is to take it one day at a time.  Every evening I write the things I need or want to get to the following day on my dry erase board and as the day goes along I erase the things as I finish them. The advice I need to take is to be realistic about your task load.  There are only 24 hours in the day and don't be too hard on yourself when you don't finish everything.