When I was younger and I would start complaining about some problem to my mom, she would ask me, “Ashley, are you looking for a solution, or do you just want to vent?” I think this is a wise question. So, I’m just letting you, the reader, know that I just want to vent.
Sometimes there are no words to describe how dumb rules can be. I mean, I’m all for rules. Rules that make sense, rules that serve some purpose, rules that protect from something, rules that are based on moral convictions...all of these are rules I respect. Rules that I do not respect are rules invented purely for the purpose of existing. It’s like someone realizes that they haven’t made and rules recently and so, purely for that reason, they make a new rule.
Here’s a rule I don’t understand. If I present all of my paperwork for residency and it is flawless, and I have 26 days left on my visa, I cannot get my residency. Why? Because the director recently made a rule, which even according to those who work in immigration is pointless, which says that I need to have 30 days left on my visa to file my paperwork. Not 26 days, 30 days. The best part is that in all the time we have been working with these lovely people, they never felt it necessary to mention that rule to us.
So what do I do? We’re squabbling over 4 days. 4 days! They suggest to me that I file the paperwork as if I were out of the country, then afterwards send a letter saying I find myself in the country again and would like the paperwork filed in Ecuador. So I consider this for a moment and then marvel as I realize that rather than letting me file my paperwork legally, they are counseling me to break the law, the actual law not some made up rule, twice!
And so, my friends, I have reached an impasse with my residency paperwork. But, I am trying to be calm and wait on God, because I’m sure He has a plan. He always does. I just every once in a while wish He would hurry up and tell me!!
I found this verse, and it made me feel a lot better: “Wait for the Lord and keep His way, and He will exalt you to inherit the land; you will look on when the wicked are cut off.”
Hopefully this verse applies to my own life, and that land is Ecuador! I’ll keep you posted...thanks for letting me vent.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Week Nine: Two Months Married
Today is our two-month anniversary. Looking back on the last two months, I’m once again struck by the way time works. How can a day like my wedding day feel so far away and yet so recent?
I think it’s because of the sheer amount of events that can fit into a two-month period of time, especially when those events revolve around the ministry, and then on top of that there’s mountains of legal work to be done in order to gain my residency! We have a schedule not to be envied! Almost every day is jam-packed, from the time we get up in the morning until the time we go to sleep. Even bedtime is pushed back in order to work on that last-minute project for one of the many ministries we’re involved in.
At the same time, I feel like two months is a long time and it has gone by entirely too quickly. It seems like we still are not even really settled into the routine of married life yet. We haven’t been able to plan too far into the future because today is way too complicated to even think about tomorrow.
So this anniversary finds me content that we’ve made it through another milestone month, but wondering when life is going to take on a more predictable quality. I know that might sound strange, but when you’re life is completely unpredictable, it makes you long for a little bit of certainty. I think if there’s one thing that our life is missing, it’s that. But all in all, I think if that’s the worst of our problems, we have a lot to be thankful for.
I think it’s because of the sheer amount of events that can fit into a two-month period of time, especially when those events revolve around the ministry, and then on top of that there’s mountains of legal work to be done in order to gain my residency! We have a schedule not to be envied! Almost every day is jam-packed, from the time we get up in the morning until the time we go to sleep. Even bedtime is pushed back in order to work on that last-minute project for one of the many ministries we’re involved in.
At the same time, I feel like two months is a long time and it has gone by entirely too quickly. It seems like we still are not even really settled into the routine of married life yet. We haven’t been able to plan too far into the future because today is way too complicated to even think about tomorrow.
So this anniversary finds me content that we’ve made it through another milestone month, but wondering when life is going to take on a more predictable quality. I know that might sound strange, but when you’re life is completely unpredictable, it makes you long for a little bit of certainty. I think if there’s one thing that our life is missing, it’s that. But all in all, I think if that’s the worst of our problems, we have a lot to be thankful for.
Week Ten: A New Addition to the Family
Let me put your mind at ease...no, I’m not pregnant! Thank goodness! But I do have a new baby...a baby rabbit! I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this yet in my blog, but I love animals. I absolutely adore them. I think my ideal place to live would be on a farm. One animal that I always wanted to have was a bunny. They’re so soft and adorable...
I was thoroughly warned about rabbits. First my mom warned me that her friend has a rabbit and likened it to a furry little demon. Then my husband gently reminded me that if we were to buy a bunny, he would have no part in taking care of it. I began to have doubts. What’s so bad about bunnies?
Well, when we arrived at the market and saw the adorable little bunnies there, my mind was made up. No more doubts. I wanted a bunny, come what may! The repeated “are you sure?” from my husband fell on deaf ears. I was in love with my new little bunny!
I have to say that my personal experience with my bunny has been a positive one. I had no idea how bunnies behave. First of all they eat everything, so you have to be careful about that. I find myself checking on my bunny every 3-5 minutes all day long if I’m home, making sure she’s not getting into trouble. (She usually is.) I think in this respect it’s much like having a toddler in the house. My bunny is a picky eater; she has to have variety. Jairo says she’s definitely in the right house, since she’s so much like me! But most of all this rabbit is hilarious. I find myself laughing all the time when she’s allowed to roam around the house. Even Jairo has taken to her.
Having a rabbit has been interesting as well because of the conversations it has sparked between Jairo and me. A lot of times we end up talking about parenting, usually with a comment I’ll make to him such as “You know, having a baby is a hundred times worse than this. If you want to have kids you’ll have to toughen up!” It makes for fun conversations and musings about the children that we someday (but not any day soon) want to have. Realizing the commitment involved in parenting (albeit parenting a rabbit for now) has made me appreciate the uninterrupted time that I have with Jairo now. I would love to have kids, maybe even a lot of them, but I’ve realized the importance of this formative time of our relationship.
As the Bible says, “For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; a time to seek, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; a time to tear, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; a time to love, and a time to hate; a time for war, and a time for peace.” (Ecc. 3:1-8)
I think much of life is understanding what time we’re in and being content to ride it out. The time for being newlyweds is just as important as the time for growing old together. And trusting God’s promise in Romans 8:28 that all thins work together for our good, we must be patient and trust that God knows exactly what time of our life is necessary. If I were to rewrite the passage of Scripture above to apply to our marriage, it might be something like this:
*For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter in our marriage: a time to have a wedding, a time to grow old; a time to invest time in each other, a time to reap the benefits of that investment; a time to argue, a time to make up; a time to change course, a time to keep going; a time to cry, a time to laugh; a time to mourn, a time to celebrate; a time to buy bunnies, a time to have children; a time to embrace, a time to keep our distance; a time to win, a time to lose (even when I know I’m right!); a time to cling, a time to let go; a time to wound for the other’s good, a time to heal; a time to be silent (I need to learn this!), a time to speak; a time to love, a time to love even more; a time for war and a time for peace.*
I was thoroughly warned about rabbits. First my mom warned me that her friend has a rabbit and likened it to a furry little demon. Then my husband gently reminded me that if we were to buy a bunny, he would have no part in taking care of it. I began to have doubts. What’s so bad about bunnies?
Well, when we arrived at the market and saw the adorable little bunnies there, my mind was made up. No more doubts. I wanted a bunny, come what may! The repeated “are you sure?” from my husband fell on deaf ears. I was in love with my new little bunny!
I have to say that my personal experience with my bunny has been a positive one. I had no idea how bunnies behave. First of all they eat everything, so you have to be careful about that. I find myself checking on my bunny every 3-5 minutes all day long if I’m home, making sure she’s not getting into trouble. (She usually is.) I think in this respect it’s much like having a toddler in the house. My bunny is a picky eater; she has to have variety. Jairo says she’s definitely in the right house, since she’s so much like me! But most of all this rabbit is hilarious. I find myself laughing all the time when she’s allowed to roam around the house. Even Jairo has taken to her.
Having a rabbit has been interesting as well because of the conversations it has sparked between Jairo and me. A lot of times we end up talking about parenting, usually with a comment I’ll make to him such as “You know, having a baby is a hundred times worse than this. If you want to have kids you’ll have to toughen up!” It makes for fun conversations and musings about the children that we someday (but not any day soon) want to have. Realizing the commitment involved in parenting (albeit parenting a rabbit for now) has made me appreciate the uninterrupted time that I have with Jairo now. I would love to have kids, maybe even a lot of them, but I’ve realized the importance of this formative time of our relationship.
As the Bible says, “For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; a time to seek, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; a time to tear, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; a time to love, and a time to hate; a time for war, and a time for peace.” (Ecc. 3:1-8)
I think much of life is understanding what time we’re in and being content to ride it out. The time for being newlyweds is just as important as the time for growing old together. And trusting God’s promise in Romans 8:28 that all thins work together for our good, we must be patient and trust that God knows exactly what time of our life is necessary. If I were to rewrite the passage of Scripture above to apply to our marriage, it might be something like this:
*For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter in our marriage: a time to have a wedding, a time to grow old; a time to invest time in each other, a time to reap the benefits of that investment; a time to argue, a time to make up; a time to change course, a time to keep going; a time to cry, a time to laugh; a time to mourn, a time to celebrate; a time to buy bunnies, a time to have children; a time to embrace, a time to keep our distance; a time to win, a time to lose (even when I know I’m right!); a time to cling, a time to let go; a time to wound for the other’s good, a time to heal; a time to be silent (I need to learn this!), a time to speak; a time to love, a time to love even more; a time for war and a time for peace.*
Week Eight: My Birthday!
This week I had my birthday! I turned 22. (I know, I’m getting so old!) The night before my birthday my whole family called me. All told the callers were my parents, my sister Tina, her husband Ryan and their two kids Bryce and Paige, My brother Nick who was home on leave from Afghanistan and his wife Taysha, my uncle Mike and my aunt Linda. It was a great surprise! (Although afterwards I felt somewhat homesick and nostalgic!)
My birthday fell on a Sunday, so after church when the people from our church caught wind of the fact that it was my birthday, they invited me to go to a cookout they wanted to have in my honor. Jairo and I decided to go, and spent most of the day there, hanging out, eating and watching a movie. It was another great example of the famous Ecuadorian hospitality, since they bought the food, soda and cake for me on the spot.
One birthday tradition I found unpleasant was one that I encountered after blowing out the candles on my birthday cake. As soon as I made a wish and blew them out everyone started chanting “Bite the cake! Bite the cake!” My reaction was a firm, “NO!” It sounded like a disgusting idea to me. Why would I bite the cake that everyone was going to eat? Well, eventually they tired of my resistance and I then realized the point of biting the cake, as the pastor shoved the cake in my face! I wasn’t that happy about it!
I told Bre about it later and we agreed that if you pulled that in the States, there’s a good chance you’d get punched! Jairo, however, didn’t see why it was bad. I asked him later, shocked, why they do that here. He replied that it’s just what they do, and it’s fun. Fun for everyone else maybe! I guess I still have some things to learn about Ecuadorian culture!
My birthday fell on a Sunday, so after church when the people from our church caught wind of the fact that it was my birthday, they invited me to go to a cookout they wanted to have in my honor. Jairo and I decided to go, and spent most of the day there, hanging out, eating and watching a movie. It was another great example of the famous Ecuadorian hospitality, since they bought the food, soda and cake for me on the spot.
One birthday tradition I found unpleasant was one that I encountered after blowing out the candles on my birthday cake. As soon as I made a wish and blew them out everyone started chanting “Bite the cake! Bite the cake!” My reaction was a firm, “NO!” It sounded like a disgusting idea to me. Why would I bite the cake that everyone was going to eat? Well, eventually they tired of my resistance and I then realized the point of biting the cake, as the pastor shoved the cake in my face! I wasn’t that happy about it!
I told Bre about it later and we agreed that if you pulled that in the States, there’s a good chance you’d get punched! Jairo, however, didn’t see why it was bad. I asked him later, shocked, why they do that here. He replied that it’s just what they do, and it’s fun. Fun for everyone else maybe! I guess I still have some things to learn about Ecuadorian culture!
Week Seven: A Blast from the Past
This week Jairo and I went to eat dinner with some friends from the US that were in Ecuador on a short-term missions trip. It was a reunion of mixed emotions for me. On the one hand, I was really excited to see them, and Jairo was too. On the other hand, it was an awkward situation, because it had been over seven months since I had seen them, and I realized how drastically I have changed.
First of all, I have changed linguistically. It’s much easier for me to speak Spanish than English. Something that you may not realize if you don’t speak two languages is that the majority of what you say in one language you cannot translate perfectly into the other. In order to reach the point where you are bilingual, you have to not just understand the words but also the culture behind the language. You have to learn to think differently. In essence, you become another person. I know it sounds unbelievable, but I have experienced it, and have talked with many other people who have experienced it as well. So, sitting there with my friends from seven months ago, I found that they were the same, or maybe slightly different, and I was worlds apart from them.
Secondly, I have changed in my perspectives. Living a life of full-time ministry and immersing myself in a completely different culture I found I was often in disagreement with the most basic statements that my friends would make. My response was generally to say nothing; after all, there’s no reason to get into those long discussions when you’re only going to see each other for one day! It’s better just to enjoy the time together, I think.
It was an experience that will stick with me for a while, because it was when I started to really realize how “successful” my acculturation has been! I’m more Ecuadorian than North American now! What a strange realization to come to!
First of all, I have changed linguistically. It’s much easier for me to speak Spanish than English. Something that you may not realize if you don’t speak two languages is that the majority of what you say in one language you cannot translate perfectly into the other. In order to reach the point where you are bilingual, you have to not just understand the words but also the culture behind the language. You have to learn to think differently. In essence, you become another person. I know it sounds unbelievable, but I have experienced it, and have talked with many other people who have experienced it as well. So, sitting there with my friends from seven months ago, I found that they were the same, or maybe slightly different, and I was worlds apart from them.
Secondly, I have changed in my perspectives. Living a life of full-time ministry and immersing myself in a completely different culture I found I was often in disagreement with the most basic statements that my friends would make. My response was generally to say nothing; after all, there’s no reason to get into those long discussions when you’re only going to see each other for one day! It’s better just to enjoy the time together, I think.
It was an experience that will stick with me for a while, because it was when I started to really realize how “successful” my acculturation has been! I’m more Ecuadorian than North American now! What a strange realization to come to!
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Week Seven: The Theology of Giving
I’m going to say something that you will probably think is crazy. I know the secret to having everything you need and want. You can have money, a car, a house, whatever it is that you want, within reason.
Interested? Give away everything you have. Give away your last penny to someone who will never pay you back.
God wants us to give to Him. He wants us to be the light of the world. He wants us to be willing to give everything to back up who we are in Him. But this command comes with a promise. In Malachi God demands our tithes and offerings, but offers also His provision. “Bring the full tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. And thereby put me to the test, says the Lord of Hosts, if I will not open the windows of Heaven for you and pour down for you a blessing until there is no more need.”
When Jairo and I need money for something, we give. And we don’t give fifty cents or five dollars. We give until it hurts. And you know what? We always have what we need. Money is nothing for God. He just wants to know where our hearts are. He loves to provide for us, and even more if we are depending on Him.
Who are you depending on? Your job? Yourself? Do you know who gave you your job? Do you know who gives you life each day? Serve God and give to Him, and He will bless you beyond your wildest dreams.
If you happen to see our bank account someday, don’t worry if it’s empty. We’re just making room for more.
Interested? Give away everything you have. Give away your last penny to someone who will never pay you back.
God wants us to give to Him. He wants us to be the light of the world. He wants us to be willing to give everything to back up who we are in Him. But this command comes with a promise. In Malachi God demands our tithes and offerings, but offers also His provision. “Bring the full tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. And thereby put me to the test, says the Lord of Hosts, if I will not open the windows of Heaven for you and pour down for you a blessing until there is no more need.”
When Jairo and I need money for something, we give. And we don’t give fifty cents or five dollars. We give until it hurts. And you know what? We always have what we need. Money is nothing for God. He just wants to know where our hearts are. He loves to provide for us, and even more if we are depending on Him.
Who are you depending on? Your job? Yourself? Do you know who gave you your job? Do you know who gives you life each day? Serve God and give to Him, and He will bless you beyond your wildest dreams.
If you happen to see our bank account someday, don’t worry if it’s empty. We’re just making room for more.
Week Seven: The ¨Day of the Woman¨
Here in Ecuador they have a special holiday just for women. It’s like mother’s day, only you don’t have to be a mother. They had a special moment in church for it and gave out roses to all the women, even the little girls.
Jairo always treats me really well, and takes great care of me, but he’s not always super tender and loving. It’s not because he doesn’t want to be. It’s because sometimes he’s tired, sick, stressed, etc. and on top of that, he’s a man! But today, on the “day of the woman” I could see how happy he was to be with me. I could see the effort he made to make the day special. I could see how much he loved me.
I think we women have to remember something, too. As a wife, when our husbands come home from work, every day should be “the day of the man”. These godly men sacrifice their time and effort to provide for us, to care for us and to show us in some way that they love us. They need to feel that we appreciate them and love them every day, not just one day a year. The most beautiful thing about marriage is that you can express your pure love for the person you married without shame or embarrassment. You can be loving and tender any time you want. It’s your right! AND your responsibility. If we are good wives every day, every day can be the “day of the woman” too. It depends on us!!
Jairo always treats me really well, and takes great care of me, but he’s not always super tender and loving. It’s not because he doesn’t want to be. It’s because sometimes he’s tired, sick, stressed, etc. and on top of that, he’s a man! But today, on the “day of the woman” I could see how happy he was to be with me. I could see the effort he made to make the day special. I could see how much he loved me.
I think we women have to remember something, too. As a wife, when our husbands come home from work, every day should be “the day of the man”. These godly men sacrifice their time and effort to provide for us, to care for us and to show us in some way that they love us. They need to feel that we appreciate them and love them every day, not just one day a year. The most beautiful thing about marriage is that you can express your pure love for the person you married without shame or embarrassment. You can be loving and tender any time you want. It’s your right! AND your responsibility. If we are good wives every day, every day can be the “day of the woman” too. It depends on us!!
Week Six: Seeing my Husband in a New Light
My husband has seen how much I don’t like being home alone all day, and he does his best not to leave me alone for too long, but sometimes he has to because of work. He’s a graphic designer working from home in his own business that he has with a few friends, and so some days he designs at home, some days he leaves to go get new clients, or to install something He has designed, and sometimes he just does errands. Today, however, he took pity on me and invited me to go with him, because it was just an errand day.
This was the first time I got to go with him for his work, and I was excited. He warned me that it was a lot of walking and we wouldn’t be able to slow down or rest, and I accepted the challenge. It was such an interesting experience. My legs are definitely sore—he wasn’t kidding about the walking! But even so, I’m glad I went. I’ve seen how talented he is at designing things because he always asks my opinion on his designs. But I’ve never actually seen him in action, until today.
I felt incredibly proud of him, listening as he talked to different vendors trying to get the best deal while delivering to his clients the best product. He was such a professional and an expert. I admire my husband for many reasons, and now I have one more.
I think it’s good to look for the talents and good qualities in our spouses. So often it’s easy to just see them in one light. The man who never washes the dishes. The woman who always nags. But when you actually get a chance to see them in their element, it’s enlightening. I feel like I know a whole new side of my husband that I didn’t know before. I encourage all you married women out there to take the next opportunity you have to see your husband in a different environment. Plus, if he’s inviting you it means he wants to share it with you!
This was the first time I got to go with him for his work, and I was excited. He warned me that it was a lot of walking and we wouldn’t be able to slow down or rest, and I accepted the challenge. It was such an interesting experience. My legs are definitely sore—he wasn’t kidding about the walking! But even so, I’m glad I went. I’ve seen how talented he is at designing things because he always asks my opinion on his designs. But I’ve never actually seen him in action, until today.
I felt incredibly proud of him, listening as he talked to different vendors trying to get the best deal while delivering to his clients the best product. He was such a professional and an expert. I admire my husband for many reasons, and now I have one more.
I think it’s good to look for the talents and good qualities in our spouses. So often it’s easy to just see them in one light. The man who never washes the dishes. The woman who always nags. But when you actually get a chance to see them in their element, it’s enlightening. I feel like I know a whole new side of my husband that I didn’t know before. I encourage all you married women out there to take the next opportunity you have to see your husband in a different environment. Plus, if he’s inviting you it means he wants to share it with you!
Week Six: My Justice vs. God´s Justice
I recently found out that someone I considered a close friend who lives in the US has been spreading lies about me to my other friends at my old church. It hurt me a lot to find this out, because this is a friend I trusted. I’m not sure why this person has started behaving this way, but it really hurts me.
I’ve wanted to be able to defend myself so that these destructive lies don’t affect my other friendships, but this person has been very crafty in the way they have told these lies, so that whatever I do, I look guilty. It’s something I’ve taken to God with a lot of tears, and He brought to my memory the story of Saul and David.
David was anointed to be king over Israel, and Saul, the current king, was jealous of David, and tried to have him killed, even though David had been like a son to him and was the best friend of Saul’s son Jonathan. Many years Saul pursued David, and one night David had the chance to kill Saul and take control of the kingdom of Israel. He snuck into Saul’s camp, and rather than killing him, cut off a piece of his robe. Then he snuck out and from afar called to Saul, with the corner of his robe in his hand and said, “May the Lord judge between me and you, may the Lord avenge me against you, but my hand shall not be against you.”
David could have had his revenge against Saul, but David believed God, and eventually God gave him justice in a much better way than what David could have done. Paul echoes this idea in Romans when he says, “Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written ‘Vengeance is mine, I will repay’ says the Lord.”
Whatever I could do or say to make this person regret what they’ve done, what they’re still doing, is nothing compared to what God will do if I wait for His perfect justice. I hope that when God corrects this person, our friendship will be restored. I know that God is faithful, and I believe He will give me justice, just like He gave to David.
I’ve wanted to be able to defend myself so that these destructive lies don’t affect my other friendships, but this person has been very crafty in the way they have told these lies, so that whatever I do, I look guilty. It’s something I’ve taken to God with a lot of tears, and He brought to my memory the story of Saul and David.
David was anointed to be king over Israel, and Saul, the current king, was jealous of David, and tried to have him killed, even though David had been like a son to him and was the best friend of Saul’s son Jonathan. Many years Saul pursued David, and one night David had the chance to kill Saul and take control of the kingdom of Israel. He snuck into Saul’s camp, and rather than killing him, cut off a piece of his robe. Then he snuck out and from afar called to Saul, with the corner of his robe in his hand and said, “May the Lord judge between me and you, may the Lord avenge me against you, but my hand shall not be against you.”
David could have had his revenge against Saul, but David believed God, and eventually God gave him justice in a much better way than what David could have done. Paul echoes this idea in Romans when he says, “Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written ‘Vengeance is mine, I will repay’ says the Lord.”
Whatever I could do or say to make this person regret what they’ve done, what they’re still doing, is nothing compared to what God will do if I wait for His perfect justice. I hope that when God corrects this person, our friendship will be restored. I know that God is faithful, and I believe He will give me justice, just like He gave to David.
Week Five: Why is it so Quiet?
Week five is ending, and my house is unnervingly quiet. Bre, my best friend who has been living here with us, left yesterday. She’s coming back in a few weeks to stay for a few months, so I can’t be too sad, but still, I feel lonely. Jairo is working all day, and I miss the company I had in the house in previous weeks.
This is the first time since we got back from our honeymoon and Jairo started working that I have been alone in the house. I don’t like it. Every little noise weirds me out and time seems to pass really slowly. I can only wash the dishes and sweep the floor for so long until I have nothing left to do.
I’m not sure if this is something I will get used to or just something I’ll deal with. Don’t get me wrong. I really like being the domestic wife, cooking the meals, cleaning the house, and making sure all is in order. I’m content in my role. I just don’t like feeling alone. I want Bre back!
Jairo likes to tell me that I’m never alone, because wherever I am I have three great people with me: God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. Sometimes I’m tempted to roll my eyes at this, but he’s actually right. How many times do we live our lives completely ignorant to the fact that God is right there with us? He sees every good and evil thing we do, hears every word we say, and even sees into our hearts. That kind of intimacy is impossible with humans, but with God all things are possible. He knows me better than anyone in the universe. I really can take comfort in the fact that I’m never alone. I’m in better hands than Allstate. I’m in the only hands that can heal me, protect me, guide me, comfort me, provide for me, and give me peace. There’s no better place to be.
This is the first time since we got back from our honeymoon and Jairo started working that I have been alone in the house. I don’t like it. Every little noise weirds me out and time seems to pass really slowly. I can only wash the dishes and sweep the floor for so long until I have nothing left to do.
I’m not sure if this is something I will get used to or just something I’ll deal with. Don’t get me wrong. I really like being the domestic wife, cooking the meals, cleaning the house, and making sure all is in order. I’m content in my role. I just don’t like feeling alone. I want Bre back!
Jairo likes to tell me that I’m never alone, because wherever I am I have three great people with me: God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. Sometimes I’m tempted to roll my eyes at this, but he’s actually right. How many times do we live our lives completely ignorant to the fact that God is right there with us? He sees every good and evil thing we do, hears every word we say, and even sees into our hearts. That kind of intimacy is impossible with humans, but with God all things are possible. He knows me better than anyone in the universe. I really can take comfort in the fact that I’m never alone. I’m in better hands than Allstate. I’m in the only hands that can heal me, protect me, guide me, comfort me, provide for me, and give me peace. There’s no better place to be.
Week Five: The Cold that Refuses to Die
I’m not sure how long I’ve had this cold. I feel like it’s been an eternity. It’s one of those that just when you think you’re getting better, it hits you ten times harder.
What I don’t like about colds is there’s like no way to function normally. If you don’t take medicine, you feel horrible. If you take medicine, you feel groggy and weird. What’s a girl to do?
It’s frustrating when you want to be able to do something 100% and all you’re capable of is the bare minimum. You can’t just stay home in bed when your job is serving God. You have to get up, try to be as happy as possible, and be there because people are depending on you. It’s hard to do if you focus on your own weakness and imperfections, but if you focus on the example of Christ, it’s a little easier.
Like Paul says in Philippians 3:8-14, “Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith—that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, that by any means possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead. Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.”
I like how Paul says that it is an upward call. It’s a call to be more than what you are, to be better than what you’ve been. We all know that walking uphill is harder than walking downhill. It’s a struggle, and sometimes, like here in Quito because of the altitude, you think you might pass out before you get to the top. But when you are walking with a friend it’s easier, isn’t it? You see them and they don’t even look tired, and it motivates you to go a little further, if only to not look like a fatty. We have to remember that it is an upward call, but we are not alone. We are walking with Jesus, and He can be our motivation to keep going a little further.
What I don’t like about colds is there’s like no way to function normally. If you don’t take medicine, you feel horrible. If you take medicine, you feel groggy and weird. What’s a girl to do?
It’s frustrating when you want to be able to do something 100% and all you’re capable of is the bare minimum. You can’t just stay home in bed when your job is serving God. You have to get up, try to be as happy as possible, and be there because people are depending on you. It’s hard to do if you focus on your own weakness and imperfections, but if you focus on the example of Christ, it’s a little easier.
Like Paul says in Philippians 3:8-14, “Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith—that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, that by any means possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead. Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.”
I like how Paul says that it is an upward call. It’s a call to be more than what you are, to be better than what you’ve been. We all know that walking uphill is harder than walking downhill. It’s a struggle, and sometimes, like here in Quito because of the altitude, you think you might pass out before you get to the top. But when you are walking with a friend it’s easier, isn’t it? You see them and they don’t even look tired, and it motivates you to go a little further, if only to not look like a fatty. We have to remember that it is an upward call, but we are not alone. We are walking with Jesus, and He can be our motivation to keep going a little further.
Week Five: One Month Married!
Today is February 24th, one month after our wedding day. To celebrate Jairo took me to eat Italian, my favorite! It’s weird...I feel like we’ve been married so much less and so much more than one month! In one way I feel like our wedding was just yesterday and I can’t believe how quickly time passes. On the other hand, we have had so many experiences, so much has happened, and we’ve grown so much as a couple that I can’t believe so much has happened in so little time.
They say that the first year of marriage is the hardest. I’m not sure if that’s true because I’ve only been married for a month, but I feel like we’ve accomplished something by being married for a month. I think every day that we stay together and keep loving each other is a day worth celebrating in a world where divorce is so common. And if it is true what they say, we’re officially 1/12 of the way through the hardest time of our marriage and still going strong! Now that’s something to celebrate!
They say that the first year of marriage is the hardest. I’m not sure if that’s true because I’ve only been married for a month, but I feel like we’ve accomplished something by being married for a month. I think every day that we stay together and keep loving each other is a day worth celebrating in a world where divorce is so common. And if it is true what they say, we’re officially 1/12 of the way through the hardest time of our marriage and still going strong! Now that’s something to celebrate!
Week Five: My Newly-Discovered Intolerance to Bloodshed
The adventures never end in Ecuador. I was cooking dinner, and Bre was helping me. She was washing the dishes when I hear something break. I turn to Bre to see what happened, and see that her thumb is gushing blood on top of a broken plate. And I mean, gushing. She ran to the bathroom, and then I heard her start moaning and sounding generally bad, so I went to see how she was. She said she needed something to stop the bleeding, and we’re in Ecuador so I don’t have bandages and stuff. I grab some napkins, and upon arriving to the bathroom realize from the amount of blood that the napkins aren’t going to cut it. I grab a clean towel and we tie it around the injured thumb with some left over ribbon from my wedding.
I calmly advise my husband that we will need to be making a trip to the hospital. He asks why we don’t just have Bre suck on it until it stops bleeding. He hasn’t seen the carnage in the bathroom. I try to stay calm and insist on leaving. He sees Bre and says, “Wow, she’s really pale. Let’s Go.”
We go to the pharmacy nearby to see what we should do. (They are like physician’s assistants there.) The guy says we absolutely need to get her stitches. She’s bleeding through the towel, but I brought another one. He tells us there’s a clinic like two blocks down the road so we walk there and find that they are still open. Good.
They only let me and Bre in, just so I can translate. They tell us to sit down and one of the two guys starts this sales pitch to the doctor. I got mad. I said, “Excuse me, I’m sorry to interrupt your meeting, but my friend is bleeding. I don’t know if you knew.” Welcome to Ecuador.
They realize I’m angry and the doctor decides he will see Bre now. He takes off the towel and there was so much blood I swear we were in Braveheart. I tell Bre not to look at it, it’s fine, while trying not to faint. He gives her a shot to numb it and starts sewing her up, and I’m starting to feel like I’m going to need medical attention too. “Don’t worry Bre, it’s fine. NO DON’T LOOK!!”
Well, thirty dollars and five stitches later, Bre and I are hobbling out of the doctor’s office. She’s lost like at least a pint of blood, and I feel like I have too. I have never seen so much blood come out of a person.
The good news is that during the stitches I got her to laugh several times by telling her I was going to faint. I’m not sure she knew I was serious. I felt woozy the whole rest of the night. It was incredible.
I never knew I was that intolerant to seeing blood. Well, now I know. At least I got through it without fainting. I’d hate to steal Bre’s thunder!
I calmly advise my husband that we will need to be making a trip to the hospital. He asks why we don’t just have Bre suck on it until it stops bleeding. He hasn’t seen the carnage in the bathroom. I try to stay calm and insist on leaving. He sees Bre and says, “Wow, she’s really pale. Let’s Go.”
We go to the pharmacy nearby to see what we should do. (They are like physician’s assistants there.) The guy says we absolutely need to get her stitches. She’s bleeding through the towel, but I brought another one. He tells us there’s a clinic like two blocks down the road so we walk there and find that they are still open. Good.
They only let me and Bre in, just so I can translate. They tell us to sit down and one of the two guys starts this sales pitch to the doctor. I got mad. I said, “Excuse me, I’m sorry to interrupt your meeting, but my friend is bleeding. I don’t know if you knew.” Welcome to Ecuador.
They realize I’m angry and the doctor decides he will see Bre now. He takes off the towel and there was so much blood I swear we were in Braveheart. I tell Bre not to look at it, it’s fine, while trying not to faint. He gives her a shot to numb it and starts sewing her up, and I’m starting to feel like I’m going to need medical attention too. “Don’t worry Bre, it’s fine. NO DON’T LOOK!!”
Well, thirty dollars and five stitches later, Bre and I are hobbling out of the doctor’s office. She’s lost like at least a pint of blood, and I feel like I have too. I have never seen so much blood come out of a person.
The good news is that during the stitches I got her to laugh several times by telling her I was going to faint. I’m not sure she knew I was serious. I felt woozy the whole rest of the night. It was incredible.
I never knew I was that intolerant to seeing blood. Well, now I know. At least I got through it without fainting. I’d hate to steal Bre’s thunder!
Week Four: Why Carnaval Made Me Violent
I’m not proud of myself. Ok, maybe a little.
See, right now we’re in Carnaval in Ecuador. It’s like Mardi Gras, but rather than having huge sin parties in New Orleans and flashing people for beads, here in Ecuador people try to get you wet. Water guns, water balloons, buckets of water...whatever. And you know, Quito is cold.
So, one day I’m walking with Bre down to catch the bus, and some guys throw literally like four buckets of freezing cold water on us from a rooftop. Not amused, I just kept walking as if nothing had happened, since I figured that most of why they do it is probably just to get a reaction. Very third grade in my opinion. In spite of the fact that they got a bunch of my books wet, I did my very best not to get mad.
Well, a few days pass and Bre and I go to the store to buy potatoes. I was already in a bad mood because Jairo and I had had a disagreement, and I also didn’t feel good. We walked by a mormon temple on our way and saw them playing with buckets of water and eyeing us suspiciously. On our way back, they start to approach with the buckets of water. I was not in the mood. I asked them not to get us wet (Bre had already run away...chicken.) and appealed to their sense of morals as they were coming from a temple. They obviously felt bad and explained it was just a game, but I said I didn’t care, we’re from the US and we don’t do that. So, situation diffused, they weren’t going to get me wet. (See, part of what I do here is diplomacy.)
Well, this is how diplomacy breaks down. One boy, who had not heard the conversation, came running up with the bucket to get me wet. I took this as a personal attack on my safety and before he could get me wet, threw the bucket back in his face, got him wet, and then chased him all the way back to his temple. He ran like a little girl, and honestly looked terrified. It was kind of awesome.
It was the first time in my life that I have ever actually attacked a person. Although in all fairness I wasn’t going to hurt him. The most ironic part is that the day before in our Compassion International group, I had taught our students about the difference between righteous and unrighteous anger. Bre and I agreed that my anger in this case was righteous!! I reasoned that if Elisha can send bears on a group of kids that call him “baldy”, I can chase a kid who tries to make me catch a cold in Quito.
What do you think? :)
See, right now we’re in Carnaval in Ecuador. It’s like Mardi Gras, but rather than having huge sin parties in New Orleans and flashing people for beads, here in Ecuador people try to get you wet. Water guns, water balloons, buckets of water...whatever. And you know, Quito is cold.
So, one day I’m walking with Bre down to catch the bus, and some guys throw literally like four buckets of freezing cold water on us from a rooftop. Not amused, I just kept walking as if nothing had happened, since I figured that most of why they do it is probably just to get a reaction. Very third grade in my opinion. In spite of the fact that they got a bunch of my books wet, I did my very best not to get mad.
Well, a few days pass and Bre and I go to the store to buy potatoes. I was already in a bad mood because Jairo and I had had a disagreement, and I also didn’t feel good. We walked by a mormon temple on our way and saw them playing with buckets of water and eyeing us suspiciously. On our way back, they start to approach with the buckets of water. I was not in the mood. I asked them not to get us wet (Bre had already run away...chicken.) and appealed to their sense of morals as they were coming from a temple. They obviously felt bad and explained it was just a game, but I said I didn’t care, we’re from the US and we don’t do that. So, situation diffused, they weren’t going to get me wet. (See, part of what I do here is diplomacy.)
Well, this is how diplomacy breaks down. One boy, who had not heard the conversation, came running up with the bucket to get me wet. I took this as a personal attack on my safety and before he could get me wet, threw the bucket back in his face, got him wet, and then chased him all the way back to his temple. He ran like a little girl, and honestly looked terrified. It was kind of awesome.
It was the first time in my life that I have ever actually attacked a person. Although in all fairness I wasn’t going to hurt him. The most ironic part is that the day before in our Compassion International group, I had taught our students about the difference between righteous and unrighteous anger. Bre and I agreed that my anger in this case was righteous!! I reasoned that if Elisha can send bears on a group of kids that call him “baldy”, I can chase a kid who tries to make me catch a cold in Quito.
What do you think? :)
Week Four: An Eye-Opening Tour of South Quito
What is the poorest area of the world that you’ve seen with your own eyes? A bad neighborhood in your city? Or in another state? Have you been in other country on vacation or a missions trip?
I live every day in the midst of extreme poverty. Every day I see people who literally have nothing. At the end of the day, they lie down in the streets with their children to sleep. Little children every day get on the busses to beg for money. In restaurants they come up to your table and beg you for your leftovers. There are people who are blind, mute, deaf, paralyzed, who can do nothing but sit on the side of the street and beg.
I see it every day. It breaks my heart. But even for having seen it every day, I never get used to it. A lot of times on the bus I have to try to hold back the tears. Today was a day like that. Jairo and I went with Bre and our friend Byron to the south of Quito, relatively close by where we live, to see some of the ministries of Isaiah 61, the non-profit organization of Byron and his wife Becky. We saw orphanages, poor schools, small churches, and a food bank.
Sometimes the evil in the world is almost paralyzing. I came home feeling like the problems in this world are so huge, and I’m so small. I will work my whole life to help people like these, orphans, widows, poor families, and I won’t even make a dent. How do you feel good about the five people you helped today when there are millions who are still dying?
In these moments, I have to cling to my God, who is bigger than all the poverty, all the illness, all the evil in all the world. I think the reason that we cry when we see these things, the reason we care, the reason we can’t sleep at night, is because God wants us in action. The Bible makes it clear that God wants His people lifting up these people and giving them new hope and new life. His heart aches for the lost, and ours should too.
It frustrates me that there are so many non-Christian organizations in the world feeding the hungry and giving medical care to the sick, while our churches do nothing. We should set the example in giving, in healing, in giving hope, in lifting up the downhearted, in liberating the world from evil and suffering. Why aren’t we doing anything?
God is going to demand an account for every person who died lost, without hope, while we were comfortable in our pews on Sunday morning. I want to see more Christians getting their hands dirty, like Jesus did. If you don’t know where to start, we need your help here in Ecuador. But please, just do something. We can’t fight this battle alone. Help us save the lost. It’s not just the job of “missionaries”. We’re all called to do it. It’s a commandment that comes straight from Jesus. You don’t have to look very far to see the need. Be a light in the darkness. Please. The world needs us. The world needs Jesus.
I live every day in the midst of extreme poverty. Every day I see people who literally have nothing. At the end of the day, they lie down in the streets with their children to sleep. Little children every day get on the busses to beg for money. In restaurants they come up to your table and beg you for your leftovers. There are people who are blind, mute, deaf, paralyzed, who can do nothing but sit on the side of the street and beg.
I see it every day. It breaks my heart. But even for having seen it every day, I never get used to it. A lot of times on the bus I have to try to hold back the tears. Today was a day like that. Jairo and I went with Bre and our friend Byron to the south of Quito, relatively close by where we live, to see some of the ministries of Isaiah 61, the non-profit organization of Byron and his wife Becky. We saw orphanages, poor schools, small churches, and a food bank.
Sometimes the evil in the world is almost paralyzing. I came home feeling like the problems in this world are so huge, and I’m so small. I will work my whole life to help people like these, orphans, widows, poor families, and I won’t even make a dent. How do you feel good about the five people you helped today when there are millions who are still dying?
In these moments, I have to cling to my God, who is bigger than all the poverty, all the illness, all the evil in all the world. I think the reason that we cry when we see these things, the reason we care, the reason we can’t sleep at night, is because God wants us in action. The Bible makes it clear that God wants His people lifting up these people and giving them new hope and new life. His heart aches for the lost, and ours should too.
It frustrates me that there are so many non-Christian organizations in the world feeding the hungry and giving medical care to the sick, while our churches do nothing. We should set the example in giving, in healing, in giving hope, in lifting up the downhearted, in liberating the world from evil and suffering. Why aren’t we doing anything?
God is going to demand an account for every person who died lost, without hope, while we were comfortable in our pews on Sunday morning. I want to see more Christians getting their hands dirty, like Jesus did. If you don’t know where to start, we need your help here in Ecuador. But please, just do something. We can’t fight this battle alone. Help us save the lost. It’s not just the job of “missionaries”. We’re all called to do it. It’s a commandment that comes straight from Jesus. You don’t have to look very far to see the need. Be a light in the darkness. Please. The world needs us. The world needs Jesus.
Week Four: More Fun in Immigration
I had the super-fun opportunity to go back once again to immigration, but this time it was for my friend Bre, who got here this week and will be staying with us for a while. She is here on a tourist visa, and had to go register it. It was definitely an adventure, as most things having to do with immigration in Ecuador are. We were all over town in buses, trolley and taxi, trying to get to each office before they closed. We were running from building to building at full speed, regardless of the high altitude and the near fainting. But victory was ours!
I don’t know if there’s anything as encouraging in this life as true friends. Everything you do with a true friend can be an adventure, and you almost always get back home exhausted, laughing and telling everyone else a million stories from the day that only the two of you really find funny. My favorite part about my friendship with Bre is that we have shared every kind of moment together, and there is nothing we wouldn’t do for each other.
The Bible says that a friend sticks closer than a brother. What do you think? According to this characteristic of a friend, do you have a lot of friends? Are your friends only good for laughing and hanging out, or are they there crying with you when you’re hurt? Are they at your side when there’s nothing in it for them? How many of those friends do you have? One? None?
My mom always told me that if you want good friends, you have to be a good friend. Are you good for more than hanging out? Would you give your friend whatever they needed? Would you be at your friend’s bedside when they’re sick? Would you be so sad to see your friend hurt that you would cry too? I think it’s true what my mom said. I think if you want to be loved, you have to love. You have to be vulnerable. You have to put yourself out there, even if you get hurt every time. You have to make the people you love the priority. You have to love freely.
Maybe as you’re reading this, you’re thinking about a friend of yours. Has life been busy lately? When was the last time you really talked with that person? When was the last time you gave up something in your life to be able to give to your friend? Remember that life is nothing without the people that make it worth living. Don’t let your life get in the way of your true friendships. If you have time to read my blog (thanks for reading, by the way) you have time to call your friend and set up a dinner date. You have time to call and apologize for that time you were an idiot, and start over. Why not do it now? Take some time and make sure those you love know how much you love them.
I don’t know if there’s anything as encouraging in this life as true friends. Everything you do with a true friend can be an adventure, and you almost always get back home exhausted, laughing and telling everyone else a million stories from the day that only the two of you really find funny. My favorite part about my friendship with Bre is that we have shared every kind of moment together, and there is nothing we wouldn’t do for each other.
The Bible says that a friend sticks closer than a brother. What do you think? According to this characteristic of a friend, do you have a lot of friends? Are your friends only good for laughing and hanging out, or are they there crying with you when you’re hurt? Are they at your side when there’s nothing in it for them? How many of those friends do you have? One? None?
My mom always told me that if you want good friends, you have to be a good friend. Are you good for more than hanging out? Would you give your friend whatever they needed? Would you be at your friend’s bedside when they’re sick? Would you be so sad to see your friend hurt that you would cry too? I think it’s true what my mom said. I think if you want to be loved, you have to love. You have to be vulnerable. You have to put yourself out there, even if you get hurt every time. You have to make the people you love the priority. You have to love freely.
Maybe as you’re reading this, you’re thinking about a friend of yours. Has life been busy lately? When was the last time you really talked with that person? When was the last time you gave up something in your life to be able to give to your friend? Remember that life is nothing without the people that make it worth living. Don’t let your life get in the way of your true friendships. If you have time to read my blog (thanks for reading, by the way) you have time to call your friend and set up a dinner date. You have time to call and apologize for that time you were an idiot, and start over. Why not do it now? Take some time and make sure those you love know how much you love them.
Week Four: Why God Created Marriage
My mom asked me if Jairo and I had had our first fight yet. I told her that not only had we had our first fight, we were expert fighters. But we’re also experts at making up.
We went through a few days of a rough patch, Jairo and I, and it seemed like every little thing was worth fighting over. It seemed like it would never end. It got me thinking about why I got married. Not in the sense that I regretted getting married, just literally thinking about the reasons. I think when people get married, they have pretty basic reasons for doing so. Things like, I want to be with this person forever, I love this person, etc. They’re not bad reasons. But they all kind of go out the window when the fairy tale gets paused and real life enters. Suddenly I don’t feel those warm fuzzies and I need something more to hold on to, to get through the storm.
I’m not sure how I would do it if I didn’t have God. I, as a Christian woman, know that when I said “I do” (although I actually said “Si lo prometo” but you get the idea) I was entering into something that I would never, ever be able to get out of. When I was walking down the aisle, when I said my vows, when I signed the papers, I knew that. This was the single biggest decision of my life. It is impossible for me to think about divorce in any situation, because I know what God’s position on divorce is, and His position is my position.
Sometimes I wonder if a 21 year old can really make that kind of huge decision, or if any person can, regardless of age. But I did, and many people do. Why? Why get stuck with the same person your whole life? Houses, cars, clothes...you can trade them in. But a husband? No way. Does God really expect us to make that kind of commitment?
Why not? He did! He created a universe full of human beings that would need a perfect savior. He created them knowing that one day He would lay down His own life and bear the sin, guilt and suffering of every person who ever lived, and who ever will live, all for love. Just because He loves us. Paul says that marriage is a reflection of the greatest mystery of all: God’s love for us.
There’s nothing warm and fuzzy about a crucifixion. It was literally one the single most horrific, violent, humiliating, and painful ways to die that has ever existed. I don’t know if you’ve seen the Passion of the Christ, but it was worse than that. Much worse. Jesus laid down his life willingly. He knew He was innocent. He knew they were murdering Him. But when He closed His eyes He could see your face. He could see what your life would be like if He didn’t die for you. He could see how much you would have to suffer in hell if He didn’t turn Himself over to die. And in history’s defining moment, He bore it all so you wouldn’t have to. Every illness you’ve ever suffered from, every tear you’ve cried, every horrible, ugly thing that you’ve passed through in your life, and not just you but every single human being who has existed, exists, and will exist, Jesus bore that. He bore the sin, guilt, suffering and punishment of billions upon billions of people to give you hope and a way out of receiving what you deserve.
Marriage is built on love. But love is not the warm and fuzzy feeling you get when you think about someone. It’s not kisses and hugs. It’s sacrifice. It’s choosing to suffer so the person you love doesn’t have to. It’s turning yourself over to the other person knowing full well that you are right, and bearing the burdens that don’t belong to you. When I think about what God did for me, it gives me strength to truly love my husband. God’s love for me will never end, and there is nothing that He would not or did not do for me. My most important job as a wife is to do the same for my husband.
This is what the Bible says about love: “Love is patient. Love is kind. It does not envy. It does not boast. It is not arrogant. It is not rude. It does not insist on its own way. It is not irritable. It keeps no record of wrongs. It does not rejoice with evil, but rejoices in the Truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-8
According to this definition, do you love your husband?
We went through a few days of a rough patch, Jairo and I, and it seemed like every little thing was worth fighting over. It seemed like it would never end. It got me thinking about why I got married. Not in the sense that I regretted getting married, just literally thinking about the reasons. I think when people get married, they have pretty basic reasons for doing so. Things like, I want to be with this person forever, I love this person, etc. They’re not bad reasons. But they all kind of go out the window when the fairy tale gets paused and real life enters. Suddenly I don’t feel those warm fuzzies and I need something more to hold on to, to get through the storm.
I’m not sure how I would do it if I didn’t have God. I, as a Christian woman, know that when I said “I do” (although I actually said “Si lo prometo” but you get the idea) I was entering into something that I would never, ever be able to get out of. When I was walking down the aisle, when I said my vows, when I signed the papers, I knew that. This was the single biggest decision of my life. It is impossible for me to think about divorce in any situation, because I know what God’s position on divorce is, and His position is my position.
Sometimes I wonder if a 21 year old can really make that kind of huge decision, or if any person can, regardless of age. But I did, and many people do. Why? Why get stuck with the same person your whole life? Houses, cars, clothes...you can trade them in. But a husband? No way. Does God really expect us to make that kind of commitment?
Why not? He did! He created a universe full of human beings that would need a perfect savior. He created them knowing that one day He would lay down His own life and bear the sin, guilt and suffering of every person who ever lived, and who ever will live, all for love. Just because He loves us. Paul says that marriage is a reflection of the greatest mystery of all: God’s love for us.
There’s nothing warm and fuzzy about a crucifixion. It was literally one the single most horrific, violent, humiliating, and painful ways to die that has ever existed. I don’t know if you’ve seen the Passion of the Christ, but it was worse than that. Much worse. Jesus laid down his life willingly. He knew He was innocent. He knew they were murdering Him. But when He closed His eyes He could see your face. He could see what your life would be like if He didn’t die for you. He could see how much you would have to suffer in hell if He didn’t turn Himself over to die. And in history’s defining moment, He bore it all so you wouldn’t have to. Every illness you’ve ever suffered from, every tear you’ve cried, every horrible, ugly thing that you’ve passed through in your life, and not just you but every single human being who has existed, exists, and will exist, Jesus bore that. He bore the sin, guilt, suffering and punishment of billions upon billions of people to give you hope and a way out of receiving what you deserve.
Marriage is built on love. But love is not the warm and fuzzy feeling you get when you think about someone. It’s not kisses and hugs. It’s sacrifice. It’s choosing to suffer so the person you love doesn’t have to. It’s turning yourself over to the other person knowing full well that you are right, and bearing the burdens that don’t belong to you. When I think about what God did for me, it gives me strength to truly love my husband. God’s love for me will never end, and there is nothing that He would not or did not do for me. My most important job as a wife is to do the same for my husband.
This is what the Bible says about love: “Love is patient. Love is kind. It does not envy. It does not boast. It is not arrogant. It is not rude. It does not insist on its own way. It is not irritable. It keeps no record of wrongs. It does not rejoice with evil, but rejoices in the Truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-8
According to this definition, do you love your husband?
Week 4: Back to Work
Well, the honeymoon’s over. Officially.
It’s pretty much exactly like I thought it would be. Really, really, unimaginably busy. But it’s also really fun. It’s great to finally be with my husband “in public” so to speak, and have everyone call me Jairo’s wife, and receive that kind of level of respect that people never give to a girlfriend. I’m not just some girl anymore. I’m his wife. So you better back off.
No, just kidding. Sort of. Haha.
Jairo works in the daytime and we’re in the church almost every night of the week. It’s challenging. But it’s also rewarding. I think about the normal jobs people have; you know, waitress, lawyer, doctor, accountant, teacher, etc. I can’t imagine that there could be any job as fulfilling as working for God. Sure, a lot of people after a good day at work come home and feel good about the work they did, and that’s good, but what other job has eternal value? What other people, besides those who work for God, can say that not only will their work continue on after they’re gone, but also that it will continue into eternity?
And, thinking of the same kinds of jobs, I ask myself, what’s the point of a doctor healing a body if the soul goes to hell? What’s the point of educating a mind if, when all is said and done, that mind never gets to understand the fullness and beauty of God’s love? I’m not saying those jobs are bad or pointless, not at all, but what could be more important than sharing the gospel and helping people stay on the right path so that after this life is over, they can live in eternal happiness and communion with God?
I see life here in some of the worst conditions imaginable. Everywhere I turn there is extreme poverty, suffering, violence, illness, struggle, and hopelessness. All the doctors, teachers, accountants and lawyers in the world can’t do anything to give meaning to this kind of life. There has to be more to life than this. Thank God there is so much more. What job could be more important, more rewarding, more lasting than bringing hope to the hopeless, loving the unlovable, and giving the gift of new, never-ending life? This is what Jesus did on earth, and I’m honored to be able to follow in his footsteps.
It’s pretty much exactly like I thought it would be. Really, really, unimaginably busy. But it’s also really fun. It’s great to finally be with my husband “in public” so to speak, and have everyone call me Jairo’s wife, and receive that kind of level of respect that people never give to a girlfriend. I’m not just some girl anymore. I’m his wife. So you better back off.
No, just kidding. Sort of. Haha.
Jairo works in the daytime and we’re in the church almost every night of the week. It’s challenging. But it’s also rewarding. I think about the normal jobs people have; you know, waitress, lawyer, doctor, accountant, teacher, etc. I can’t imagine that there could be any job as fulfilling as working for God. Sure, a lot of people after a good day at work come home and feel good about the work they did, and that’s good, but what other job has eternal value? What other people, besides those who work for God, can say that not only will their work continue on after they’re gone, but also that it will continue into eternity?
And, thinking of the same kinds of jobs, I ask myself, what’s the point of a doctor healing a body if the soul goes to hell? What’s the point of educating a mind if, when all is said and done, that mind never gets to understand the fullness and beauty of God’s love? I’m not saying those jobs are bad or pointless, not at all, but what could be more important than sharing the gospel and helping people stay on the right path so that after this life is over, they can live in eternal happiness and communion with God?
I see life here in some of the worst conditions imaginable. Everywhere I turn there is extreme poverty, suffering, violence, illness, struggle, and hopelessness. All the doctors, teachers, accountants and lawyers in the world can’t do anything to give meaning to this kind of life. There has to be more to life than this. Thank God there is so much more. What job could be more important, more rewarding, more lasting than bringing hope to the hopeless, loving the unlovable, and giving the gift of new, never-ending life? This is what Jesus did on earth, and I’m honored to be able to follow in his footsteps.
Week 3: Remembering Our Wedding
Week Three: Remembering Our Wedding
I’ve been a little sad lately because I don’t have any of my wedding pictures. Well, I have a few, but my parents have like literally 600 in the States. The problem is, how do they get them to us?
A couple of people have told me that they saw pictures and I was beautiful, blah, blah, blah...I want to see them too!! I’m the bride after all, and that was my day of glory! I want to be able to remember every minute of it!
Well, I feel a little better now than I did, because two of our friends who were at the wedding just gave us copies of their pictures. Jairo and I had a lot of fun flipping through them, remembering certain moments we had forgotten, and feeling the same feelings we felt in those moments. Life is already so normal feeling now, with the two of us together, used to each other. I think that’s a good thing, but every once in a while it’s also good to remember the magic that brought you together.
Sometimes I think about what I will remember in twenty or thirty years. Like, what will I tell my kids about this time in my life? I usually laugh when I think about it, because I imagine I will say something about how I was a crazy, impulsive kid who fell absolutely head over heels in love, and one day decided to fly down to Ecuador and marry the love of my life, without thinking twice about anything rational. But I wouldn’t want it any other way. I never wanted a normal life, a normal house, a normal anything. I wanted adventure, I wanted extraordinary, I wanted a fairy tale. I didn’t just want to say, oh we met at work, dated for a year, he took me in a hot air balloon and proposed and we were married that summer. I wanted something special.
Maybe there’s more to an adventure than what meets the eye. It sounds exciting and fun, and a lot of times it is, but it has also cost me a lot. It has been hard sometimes. I’m far away from my family and friends, thrust into a different culture and language (granted, I thrust myself, but still!), sometimes lonely and grumpy, and sometimes feel a little lost. But what good adventure doesn’t include problems, danger, battles and the like? If you took all of the bad stuff out of the lives of the characters of Lord of the Rings or Indiana Jones, what would be left? What kind of adventure would that be?
My wedding was only the beginning of the adventure I’m living. I think someday, my life will be a lot of fun to tell my grandkids about. I just hope I don’t have any kids that turn out like me!!
I’ve been a little sad lately because I don’t have any of my wedding pictures. Well, I have a few, but my parents have like literally 600 in the States. The problem is, how do they get them to us?
A couple of people have told me that they saw pictures and I was beautiful, blah, blah, blah...I want to see them too!! I’m the bride after all, and that was my day of glory! I want to be able to remember every minute of it!
Well, I feel a little better now than I did, because two of our friends who were at the wedding just gave us copies of their pictures. Jairo and I had a lot of fun flipping through them, remembering certain moments we had forgotten, and feeling the same feelings we felt in those moments. Life is already so normal feeling now, with the two of us together, used to each other. I think that’s a good thing, but every once in a while it’s also good to remember the magic that brought you together.
Sometimes I think about what I will remember in twenty or thirty years. Like, what will I tell my kids about this time in my life? I usually laugh when I think about it, because I imagine I will say something about how I was a crazy, impulsive kid who fell absolutely head over heels in love, and one day decided to fly down to Ecuador and marry the love of my life, without thinking twice about anything rational. But I wouldn’t want it any other way. I never wanted a normal life, a normal house, a normal anything. I wanted adventure, I wanted extraordinary, I wanted a fairy tale. I didn’t just want to say, oh we met at work, dated for a year, he took me in a hot air balloon and proposed and we were married that summer. I wanted something special.
Maybe there’s more to an adventure than what meets the eye. It sounds exciting and fun, and a lot of times it is, but it has also cost me a lot. It has been hard sometimes. I’m far away from my family and friends, thrust into a different culture and language (granted, I thrust myself, but still!), sometimes lonely and grumpy, and sometimes feel a little lost. But what good adventure doesn’t include problems, danger, battles and the like? If you took all of the bad stuff out of the lives of the characters of Lord of the Rings or Indiana Jones, what would be left? What kind of adventure would that be?
My wedding was only the beginning of the adventure I’m living. I think someday, my life will be a lot of fun to tell my grandkids about. I just hope I don’t have any kids that turn out like me!!
Week 3: Finding Balance
As I said in my last entry, this week is our last week of our honeymoon time. So, to round out our week, we decided to go to Puyo and stay for a few days with the in-laws. While we were there, Jairo’s niece (I guess she’s my niece too now!) turned 9. We bought her an ice cream cake and had a family birthday party. We ate dinner and cake together, played cards and laughed a lot. It was a great end to a great three weeks.
It made me think about what is important to me. What are my priorities? I think sometimes we forget, in the middle of doing all that life requires, what it is that we really care about. I can tell that something is important to me when I feel at ease when I’m doing it. For example, spending time with my husband, my family (and his), reading my Bible, praying...these are things that make me feel at ease, that restore balance to my life, and help keep my life peaceful. I’ve found that when these things don’t happen, I get too busy to spend quality time with Jairo, I can’t go see his family in Puyo or my friends in Ibarra, my parents forget to call on Sunday night, I don’t have time or am too tired to spend time with God, I start to flip out a little bit. I lose my equilibrium.
So I have to ask myself, what is the point of living life if we aren’t going to do what really matters? For example, so many people spend so much time working to afford their lifestyle, that it seems they blink and their kids are already in college, and they wonder where the time went. I always tell Jairo, I got married so I could be with my husband. It seems so obvious, but when life’s pace starts picking up, it’s easy to look back and realize you missed a whole section of your life. I don’t want that to happen to me.
I’m going into one of those super-busy, lose-your-equilibrium times of my life as this time off comes to a close and reality starts to sink in. My goal is to be able to focus on those things that are most important to me, even in the craziest of moments. God, my husband, and our families and friends are the ones that make everything else worth while.
It made me think about what is important to me. What are my priorities? I think sometimes we forget, in the middle of doing all that life requires, what it is that we really care about. I can tell that something is important to me when I feel at ease when I’m doing it. For example, spending time with my husband, my family (and his), reading my Bible, praying...these are things that make me feel at ease, that restore balance to my life, and help keep my life peaceful. I’ve found that when these things don’t happen, I get too busy to spend quality time with Jairo, I can’t go see his family in Puyo or my friends in Ibarra, my parents forget to call on Sunday night, I don’t have time or am too tired to spend time with God, I start to flip out a little bit. I lose my equilibrium.
So I have to ask myself, what is the point of living life if we aren’t going to do what really matters? For example, so many people spend so much time working to afford their lifestyle, that it seems they blink and their kids are already in college, and they wonder where the time went. I always tell Jairo, I got married so I could be with my husband. It seems so obvious, but when life’s pace starts picking up, it’s easy to look back and realize you missed a whole section of your life. I don’t want that to happen to me.
I’m going into one of those super-busy, lose-your-equilibrium times of my life as this time off comes to a close and reality starts to sink in. My goal is to be able to focus on those things that are most important to me, even in the craziest of moments. God, my husband, and our families and friends are the ones that make everything else worth while.
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