Since Jairo’s brother and sister and niece were in town for the funeral, we invited them to stay at our house overnight and visit. It was the first time they had been to our apartment. We got home in the evening and Jairo’s sister and I made dinner. We got to talk a lot, which was fun, and she taught me how to make something new! Over dinner they told me stories about when they were kids, and then we fell asleep watching movies. The next day we had a movie marathon and hung out, enjoying each other’s company.
I was sad when they had to leave. Jairo’s family from the beginning has always accepted me as part of the family and treated me really great. They have been a huge blessing to me, because here in Ecuador my only family is my husband.
When I think about our families, and how easily they have accepted each other, I think this is really the way it should be. They say, “You’re not losing a son, you’re gaining a daughter” but I think in most cases, that’s not really true. There’s all kinds of family politics and generally even though the two families usually behave, they don’t really love each other. However, in our case, my parents came to Ecuador for our wedding and met Jairo’s family, and at the wedding we all celebrated as one family. One big family with about as many differences as you can imagine. My parents felt good knowing that Jairo and his family love me, because they are far away from me, and can have some peace of mind knowing I’m in good hands. Jairo’s family accepted us as a bonus to the family. It was genuinely fun and nice.
I think this is part of God’s design for marriage. The man and woman leave their families and form their own, but even so, your family is what made you who you are, for good or bad. You might leave the house, but the family stays with you. They become your support system. In our case, my parents and my in-laws call us about once a week to check in, tell us they love us, and, recently, to warn us about the swine flu! I really am grateful to God for providing two great families for me, and I hope that all married couples can experience what a blessing it is.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Week 12: Funeral Thoughts
This week, Jairo’s favorite aunt died. She had cancer, and was sick for a very long time before she died. She lived here in Quito, so Jairo was able to visit her several times before she passed away. In her youth she became a Christian, but in adulthood she fell away. Only through the course of her illness did she reconcile with God, and now she’s in Heaven.
It was a very painful time for the whole family because she was very loved by everyone. However, it was also a very nice time, because we got to visit with all of Jairo’s enormous family and hear their stories and laugh with them. Jairo got the chance to talk to a lot of them about God, and in spite of the sadness, there was a lot of love present.
The funeral itself was an experience for me, because it was very different. The funeral was held the morning after she died, because here in Ecuador they don’t typically embalm, so the wake started the moment she died and lasted all night until the funeral started. In the typical Ecuadorian style it did not start on time and was not terribly organized as far as the service went. Then there was a lot of waiting and more waiting before we drove to the cemetery where they lifted the casket into a crypt type of thing in the wall. They sealed it in front of us, then everyone sang a few songs and we left. It reminded me of those old mafia movies.
It was our first family crisis, for me and Jairo, and it was hard to get through. Having had a few family members die, I knew that there really was nothing I could say or do to help Jairo other than just to be at his side. I think that was the hardest part for me, seeing how he was suffering and not being able to comfort him. Looking back on it though, I think just having been there was a lot of comfort for him.
The Bible says that we do not mourn as those who have no hope because we know that death is not the end. I’m so thankful that Jairo’s aunt was a Christian, because even though everyone was sad that she’s gone and they miss her, they can rejoice, knowing that she’s in Heaven and she’s not suffering anymore. Like Jairo said in his message at the funeral, it’s not a goodbye, it’s a see you later. Our desire is that those who are still with us will also know Jesus, so that we won’t even have to face a goodbye.
It was a very painful time for the whole family because she was very loved by everyone. However, it was also a very nice time, because we got to visit with all of Jairo’s enormous family and hear their stories and laugh with them. Jairo got the chance to talk to a lot of them about God, and in spite of the sadness, there was a lot of love present.
The funeral itself was an experience for me, because it was very different. The funeral was held the morning after she died, because here in Ecuador they don’t typically embalm, so the wake started the moment she died and lasted all night until the funeral started. In the typical Ecuadorian style it did not start on time and was not terribly organized as far as the service went. Then there was a lot of waiting and more waiting before we drove to the cemetery where they lifted the casket into a crypt type of thing in the wall. They sealed it in front of us, then everyone sang a few songs and we left. It reminded me of those old mafia movies.
It was our first family crisis, for me and Jairo, and it was hard to get through. Having had a few family members die, I knew that there really was nothing I could say or do to help Jairo other than just to be at his side. I think that was the hardest part for me, seeing how he was suffering and not being able to comfort him. Looking back on it though, I think just having been there was a lot of comfort for him.
The Bible says that we do not mourn as those who have no hope because we know that death is not the end. I’m so thankful that Jairo’s aunt was a Christian, because even though everyone was sad that she’s gone and they miss her, they can rejoice, knowing that she’s in Heaven and she’s not suffering anymore. Like Jairo said in his message at the funeral, it’s not a goodbye, it’s a see you later. Our desire is that those who are still with us will also know Jesus, so that we won’t even have to face a goodbye.
Week 12: Saying Goodbye to a New Friend
This week we had to say goodbye to a new friend. Sarah Malone from New York, a friend of Bre’s who had come to Ecuador for a month, went back to the US.
I got t know Sarah because she frequently stayed with us and Bre in our apartment. I’m always nervous about meeting friends of my friends because as women tend to be weird about things, we don’t always get along very well. However, Sarah is an extremely cool person and I really enjoyed getting to know her. I even got to translate for her twice while she preached.
I think when it comes to people I’m not very normal. I tend to very quickly get attached to people, which in the case of Sarah probably wasn’t the wisest idea since she was only in Ecuador for a month! However, I think Jairo also really enjoyed having her here, and the four of us had a lot of fun. It was hard not to get attached!
But, as I said, Sarah has returned safely to the US and is having fun with her reverse culture shock with which I am so familiar. She’s working in the ministry in New York and even though we weren’t that hapy to lose her, I am extremely happy that she’s serving God in the US. We’re hoping Sarah comes back to Ecuador someday, but until then, we’re praying for her and we’re very thankful to have had the chance to get to know her and count her as a friend.
I got t know Sarah because she frequently stayed with us and Bre in our apartment. I’m always nervous about meeting friends of my friends because as women tend to be weird about things, we don’t always get along very well. However, Sarah is an extremely cool person and I really enjoyed getting to know her. I even got to translate for her twice while she preached.
I think when it comes to people I’m not very normal. I tend to very quickly get attached to people, which in the case of Sarah probably wasn’t the wisest idea since she was only in Ecuador for a month! However, I think Jairo also really enjoyed having her here, and the four of us had a lot of fun. It was hard not to get attached!
But, as I said, Sarah has returned safely to the US and is having fun with her reverse culture shock with which I am so familiar. She’s working in the ministry in New York and even though we weren’t that hapy to lose her, I am extremely happy that she’s serving God in the US. We’re hoping Sarah comes back to Ecuador someday, but until then, we’re praying for her and we’re very thankful to have had the chance to get to know her and count her as a friend.
Week 11: Live from the South of Quito
Yesterday Jairo and I had the opportunity to go to a church in South Quito with our friend Bre to help her give a concert. She has her own cd and was invited to give a concert at a Holy Week event. She asked us to help her because here in Ecuador she has no band to play with her, so Jairo played guitar and I sang back-up. It was a lot of fun.
The church had a lot of things planned, including dance, drama, a time of praise and worship and a Christian movie. It was neat to be able to be a part of it. The church is actually close to our house and Jairo and I are talking about going back to visit now that we got to know the pastor a little bit. For us, one of our favorite things that we get to do in Ecuador is meet other Christians working to share Christ with the unsaved. It’s always such an encouragement to get to know other people working in the ministry. We also love to be a part of anything that has to do with music.
I think the best part was the chance to share the experience with a group of friends; Byron, Bre, Sarah (Bre’s friend from New York), me and Jairo. We went through the typical nervousness beforehand, adrenaline rush during the concert and meticulous critiquing of every moment afterwards, made more efficient by the videos and pictures that Sarah had recorded.
It’s neat to see how God opens the doors for unique experience that you never even imagined. I haven’t gotten to spend as much time as I would like with my friend Bre, but the times we have spent together have been a huge blessing and a lot of fun! It’s not a quantity friendship anymore, but it’s definitely quality. The coolest part is that we’re serving God together, all of us, as friends. I don’t what I’d do without Christian friends who are alongside me in ministry. It would be really difficult! Thank you, God, for all the friends you’ve blessed me with, in the US and here in Ecuador.
The church had a lot of things planned, including dance, drama, a time of praise and worship and a Christian movie. It was neat to be able to be a part of it. The church is actually close to our house and Jairo and I are talking about going back to visit now that we got to know the pastor a little bit. For us, one of our favorite things that we get to do in Ecuador is meet other Christians working to share Christ with the unsaved. It’s always such an encouragement to get to know other people working in the ministry. We also love to be a part of anything that has to do with music.
I think the best part was the chance to share the experience with a group of friends; Byron, Bre, Sarah (Bre’s friend from New York), me and Jairo. We went through the typical nervousness beforehand, adrenaline rush during the concert and meticulous critiquing of every moment afterwards, made more efficient by the videos and pictures that Sarah had recorded.
It’s neat to see how God opens the doors for unique experience that you never even imagined. I haven’t gotten to spend as much time as I would like with my friend Bre, but the times we have spent together have been a huge blessing and a lot of fun! It’s not a quantity friendship anymore, but it’s definitely quality. The coolest part is that we’re serving God together, all of us, as friends. I don’t what I’d do without Christian friends who are alongside me in ministry. It would be really difficult! Thank you, God, for all the friends you’ve blessed me with, in the US and here in Ecuador.
Week 11: Getting Connected
Ecuador isn’t what you might imagine if you’ve never been here. Yes, it’s a poor country, classified as an “underdeveloped nation” if I have my politically correct terms straight. Yes, a part of the country, known as Oriente, is jungle. But it can also be pretty modern. I don’t live in the depths of the Amazon; I live in Quito, the capital. It’s not that bad.
Even so, a lot of times I feel isolated. I get a weekly phone call from my parents, sometimes more, and usually once I week I can get online. But internet and phone calls are not always that fulfilling. Sometimes you want a more personal touch.
Not to mention that there are certain things I miss from the States. I miss Twizzlers and Starburst jelly beans. I miss apple cider. Little things that when I think about them, for just a minute, I start to miss home.
So, Jairo and I came up with the perfect solution. We got a PO Box! I cannot explain how excited I was when we got it! I can now receive letters, packages...mail! I know, for those reading my blog maybe mail is not really a novelty, but for me, it’s a huge step up in my being able to communicate with people in the US. I can’t wait to start getting mail and feeling that more personal connection that has been lacking in the last 6 months!
Even so, a lot of times I feel isolated. I get a weekly phone call from my parents, sometimes more, and usually once I week I can get online. But internet and phone calls are not always that fulfilling. Sometimes you want a more personal touch.
Not to mention that there are certain things I miss from the States. I miss Twizzlers and Starburst jelly beans. I miss apple cider. Little things that when I think about them, for just a minute, I start to miss home.
So, Jairo and I came up with the perfect solution. We got a PO Box! I cannot explain how excited I was when we got it! I can now receive letters, packages...mail! I know, for those reading my blog maybe mail is not really a novelty, but for me, it’s a huge step up in my being able to communicate with people in the US. I can’t wait to start getting mail and feeling that more personal connection that has been lacking in the last 6 months!
Week 11: Thoughts on the Easter Bunny
I was disappointed to find out that Ecuadorian Christians do very little to celebrate Easter. I have always love holidays, especially Christian ones. I find them exciting, and I like the traditions we have because they let me experience that day all over again, even though it happened over 2,000 years ago. For example, on Palm Sunday, the churches here do not have palm branches in church. What is that about? It’s PALM SUNDAY.
The pastor gave a message that was all in all a good message, but which I felt had a little too much opinion in place of just being God’s word. I think I’m spoiled...my dad in my opinion was an exemplary pastor when it came to these things; he was always organized and presented his opinion as just that—opinion. So that’s what I’m used to, and coming to Ecuador I’ve found that it’s not always what you get down here. I think it’s cultural. Here the pastor is not just a spiritual leader; he’s allowed to be a part of every aspect of your life. It’s actually kind of neat, but every once in a while I feel like my North American boundaries are being crossed.
So, as I was saying, Palm Sunday was one such day. The pastor commented that bringing Palm Branches to church was a pointless tradition that was completely unnecessary (opinion) and that really we should just remember the point of the holiday rather than get caught up in tradition. (My thought being, what if the tradition helps me remember the point of the holiday?) Then he went on to say, and here’s where the USA part of me got a little upset, that in some countries they even paint Easter eggs and go on Easter egg hunts and go see the Easter bunny instead of celebrating the real meaning of Easter.
Now, I can’t vouch for the Easter bunny. But I will say this. In my family, we were always taught the real meaning of Easter, and it was one of the most foundational days of our Christian faith. Without Easter there would be no salvation! It’s a real reason to celebrate. I’m not sure of the origins of the Easter egg, so I hesitate to really defend the tradition, but I know that in my life it was always used to enhance, not detract from, the holiday. In church we had an Easter egg hunt and the eggs had inside candy and a Bible verse. Not a bad way to get kids into the Bible! At home we colored Easter eggs and it was always a fun, wholesome time to be together as a family. We got Easter baskets, but only after church, because God was always number one.
Looking back on it, I think there was really no reason to get upset. (I didn’t say anything to the pastor, since even in my hurt feelings I realized that it was a silly thing to get upset about.) I think for me, my main complaint was on a cultural level. I told Jairo, I just think you should really understand something before you talk about it, either before you affirm it or bash it. It taught me a good lesson about acculturating. You can’t simply come into another culture and keep being the way you are. Well, you can, but you shouldn’t. I always say about people who come here from other countries, you figure they came because they wanted to. It was a choice. So they need to adapt. I say it because I have had to do it, and it has cost me a lot. It’s not easy to become something you’ve never been, but it’s as fulfilling as it is difficult. I love when Ecuadorians are surprised that I’m not from here! In those moments it has affirmed that all my hard work has paid off!
The pastor gave a message that was all in all a good message, but which I felt had a little too much opinion in place of just being God’s word. I think I’m spoiled...my dad in my opinion was an exemplary pastor when it came to these things; he was always organized and presented his opinion as just that—opinion. So that’s what I’m used to, and coming to Ecuador I’ve found that it’s not always what you get down here. I think it’s cultural. Here the pastor is not just a spiritual leader; he’s allowed to be a part of every aspect of your life. It’s actually kind of neat, but every once in a while I feel like my North American boundaries are being crossed.
So, as I was saying, Palm Sunday was one such day. The pastor commented that bringing Palm Branches to church was a pointless tradition that was completely unnecessary (opinion) and that really we should just remember the point of the holiday rather than get caught up in tradition. (My thought being, what if the tradition helps me remember the point of the holiday?) Then he went on to say, and here’s where the USA part of me got a little upset, that in some countries they even paint Easter eggs and go on Easter egg hunts and go see the Easter bunny instead of celebrating the real meaning of Easter.
Now, I can’t vouch for the Easter bunny. But I will say this. In my family, we were always taught the real meaning of Easter, and it was one of the most foundational days of our Christian faith. Without Easter there would be no salvation! It’s a real reason to celebrate. I’m not sure of the origins of the Easter egg, so I hesitate to really defend the tradition, but I know that in my life it was always used to enhance, not detract from, the holiday. In church we had an Easter egg hunt and the eggs had inside candy and a Bible verse. Not a bad way to get kids into the Bible! At home we colored Easter eggs and it was always a fun, wholesome time to be together as a family. We got Easter baskets, but only after church, because God was always number one.
Looking back on it, I think there was really no reason to get upset. (I didn’t say anything to the pastor, since even in my hurt feelings I realized that it was a silly thing to get upset about.) I think for me, my main complaint was on a cultural level. I told Jairo, I just think you should really understand something before you talk about it, either before you affirm it or bash it. It taught me a good lesson about acculturating. You can’t simply come into another culture and keep being the way you are. Well, you can, but you shouldn’t. I always say about people who come here from other countries, you figure they came because they wanted to. It was a choice. So they need to adapt. I say it because I have had to do it, and it has cost me a lot. It’s not easy to become something you’ve never been, but it’s as fulfilling as it is difficult. I love when Ecuadorians are surprised that I’m not from here! In those moments it has affirmed that all my hard work has paid off!
Week 10: Delusions of Grandeur
I decided today that I’m going to be a spy. It’s not that I’m not content with my life in the ministry—I am. It’s really rewarding work, I keep very busy and it’s never boring. I even get to travel pretty often. On the other hand, I’m not secretly breaking into buildings undetected or saving the world once a week with a wig and a different identity.
See, I’ve been watching ALIAS with my husband. We own all five seasons (they happen to have Spanish) and we’re addicts. I looked on the internet about how to become a spy, but it turned out not to be very productive. So I came back to my apartment on the third floor and I thought about how I could scale down the wall to the street, but I realized that I’m afraid of heights and don’t have any climbing equipment. My dream of being a spy all but died then, when I realized that what with my lack of equipment, fear of heights, intolerance to seeing blood and lack of kung-fu training, I don’t have much hope in the spy career.
It was a disappointing realization, to be honest. But then I thought about the work I do here with Jairo. Every day we work with our organization, Revolution Ministries, and we’re also trying to save the world. I don’t run around with tranquilizer guns and crazy wigs, I don’t break into buildings or disarm weapons, but I am a part of a very real war. It’s a war that’s been going on since before the creation of the world.
Paul says in Ephesians 6:12, “For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.” Every time an unsaved person comes to Christ, every time the sound of praise and worship fills the Ferroviaria Alta, every time we talk to people about God, every time we take time in our houses to pray and seek God, we’re doing battle. We understand that everything we do has spiritual significance.
The cool thing about this war is that it doesn’t matter that I’m afraid of heights or that I’m not kun-fu trained. The majority of this battle is won by people on their knees. God plans the missions and gives us the equipment that we need to carry it out. Maybe I still secretly would like to be a spy. It does seem pretty exciting. But even more exciting is to be part of a real battle—it’s not glamorous, but it’s not make-believe either.
See, I’ve been watching ALIAS with my husband. We own all five seasons (they happen to have Spanish) and we’re addicts. I looked on the internet about how to become a spy, but it turned out not to be very productive. So I came back to my apartment on the third floor and I thought about how I could scale down the wall to the street, but I realized that I’m afraid of heights and don’t have any climbing equipment. My dream of being a spy all but died then, when I realized that what with my lack of equipment, fear of heights, intolerance to seeing blood and lack of kung-fu training, I don’t have much hope in the spy career.
It was a disappointing realization, to be honest. But then I thought about the work I do here with Jairo. Every day we work with our organization, Revolution Ministries, and we’re also trying to save the world. I don’t run around with tranquilizer guns and crazy wigs, I don’t break into buildings or disarm weapons, but I am a part of a very real war. It’s a war that’s been going on since before the creation of the world.
Paul says in Ephesians 6:12, “For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.” Every time an unsaved person comes to Christ, every time the sound of praise and worship fills the Ferroviaria Alta, every time we talk to people about God, every time we take time in our houses to pray and seek God, we’re doing battle. We understand that everything we do has spiritual significance.
The cool thing about this war is that it doesn’t matter that I’m afraid of heights or that I’m not kun-fu trained. The majority of this battle is won by people on their knees. God plans the missions and gives us the equipment that we need to carry it out. Maybe I still secretly would like to be a spy. It does seem pretty exciting. But even more exciting is to be part of a real battle—it’s not glamorous, but it’s not make-believe either.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Week Ten: Nonsense, Nonsense, and More Nonsense
When I was younger and I would start complaining about some problem to my mom, she would ask me, “Ashley, are you looking for a solution, or do you just want to vent?” I think this is a wise question. So, I’m just letting you, the reader, know that I just want to vent.
Sometimes there are no words to describe how dumb rules can be. I mean, I’m all for rules. Rules that make sense, rules that serve some purpose, rules that protect from something, rules that are based on moral convictions...all of these are rules I respect. Rules that I do not respect are rules invented purely for the purpose of existing. It’s like someone realizes that they haven’t made and rules recently and so, purely for that reason, they make a new rule.
Here’s a rule I don’t understand. If I present all of my paperwork for residency and it is flawless, and I have 26 days left on my visa, I cannot get my residency. Why? Because the director recently made a rule, which even according to those who work in immigration is pointless, which says that I need to have 30 days left on my visa to file my paperwork. Not 26 days, 30 days. The best part is that in all the time we have been working with these lovely people, they never felt it necessary to mention that rule to us.
So what do I do? We’re squabbling over 4 days. 4 days! They suggest to me that I file the paperwork as if I were out of the country, then afterwards send a letter saying I find myself in the country again and would like the paperwork filed in Ecuador. So I consider this for a moment and then marvel as I realize that rather than letting me file my paperwork legally, they are counseling me to break the law, the actual law not some made up rule, twice!
And so, my friends, I have reached an impasse with my residency paperwork. But, I am trying to be calm and wait on God, because I’m sure He has a plan. He always does. I just every once in a while wish He would hurry up and tell me!!
I found this verse, and it made me feel a lot better: “Wait for the Lord and keep His way, and He will exalt you to inherit the land; you will look on when the wicked are cut off.”
Hopefully this verse applies to my own life, and that land is Ecuador! I’ll keep you posted...thanks for letting me vent.
Sometimes there are no words to describe how dumb rules can be. I mean, I’m all for rules. Rules that make sense, rules that serve some purpose, rules that protect from something, rules that are based on moral convictions...all of these are rules I respect. Rules that I do not respect are rules invented purely for the purpose of existing. It’s like someone realizes that they haven’t made and rules recently and so, purely for that reason, they make a new rule.
Here’s a rule I don’t understand. If I present all of my paperwork for residency and it is flawless, and I have 26 days left on my visa, I cannot get my residency. Why? Because the director recently made a rule, which even according to those who work in immigration is pointless, which says that I need to have 30 days left on my visa to file my paperwork. Not 26 days, 30 days. The best part is that in all the time we have been working with these lovely people, they never felt it necessary to mention that rule to us.
So what do I do? We’re squabbling over 4 days. 4 days! They suggest to me that I file the paperwork as if I were out of the country, then afterwards send a letter saying I find myself in the country again and would like the paperwork filed in Ecuador. So I consider this for a moment and then marvel as I realize that rather than letting me file my paperwork legally, they are counseling me to break the law, the actual law not some made up rule, twice!
And so, my friends, I have reached an impasse with my residency paperwork. But, I am trying to be calm and wait on God, because I’m sure He has a plan. He always does. I just every once in a while wish He would hurry up and tell me!!
I found this verse, and it made me feel a lot better: “Wait for the Lord and keep His way, and He will exalt you to inherit the land; you will look on when the wicked are cut off.”
Hopefully this verse applies to my own life, and that land is Ecuador! I’ll keep you posted...thanks for letting me vent.
Week Nine: Two Months Married
Today is our two-month anniversary. Looking back on the last two months, I’m once again struck by the way time works. How can a day like my wedding day feel so far away and yet so recent?
I think it’s because of the sheer amount of events that can fit into a two-month period of time, especially when those events revolve around the ministry, and then on top of that there’s mountains of legal work to be done in order to gain my residency! We have a schedule not to be envied! Almost every day is jam-packed, from the time we get up in the morning until the time we go to sleep. Even bedtime is pushed back in order to work on that last-minute project for one of the many ministries we’re involved in.
At the same time, I feel like two months is a long time and it has gone by entirely too quickly. It seems like we still are not even really settled into the routine of married life yet. We haven’t been able to plan too far into the future because today is way too complicated to even think about tomorrow.
So this anniversary finds me content that we’ve made it through another milestone month, but wondering when life is going to take on a more predictable quality. I know that might sound strange, but when you’re life is completely unpredictable, it makes you long for a little bit of certainty. I think if there’s one thing that our life is missing, it’s that. But all in all, I think if that’s the worst of our problems, we have a lot to be thankful for.
I think it’s because of the sheer amount of events that can fit into a two-month period of time, especially when those events revolve around the ministry, and then on top of that there’s mountains of legal work to be done in order to gain my residency! We have a schedule not to be envied! Almost every day is jam-packed, from the time we get up in the morning until the time we go to sleep. Even bedtime is pushed back in order to work on that last-minute project for one of the many ministries we’re involved in.
At the same time, I feel like two months is a long time and it has gone by entirely too quickly. It seems like we still are not even really settled into the routine of married life yet. We haven’t been able to plan too far into the future because today is way too complicated to even think about tomorrow.
So this anniversary finds me content that we’ve made it through another milestone month, but wondering when life is going to take on a more predictable quality. I know that might sound strange, but when you’re life is completely unpredictable, it makes you long for a little bit of certainty. I think if there’s one thing that our life is missing, it’s that. But all in all, I think if that’s the worst of our problems, we have a lot to be thankful for.
Week Ten: A New Addition to the Family
Let me put your mind at ease...no, I’m not pregnant! Thank goodness! But I do have a new baby...a baby rabbit! I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this yet in my blog, but I love animals. I absolutely adore them. I think my ideal place to live would be on a farm. One animal that I always wanted to have was a bunny. They’re so soft and adorable...
I was thoroughly warned about rabbits. First my mom warned me that her friend has a rabbit and likened it to a furry little demon. Then my husband gently reminded me that if we were to buy a bunny, he would have no part in taking care of it. I began to have doubts. What’s so bad about bunnies?
Well, when we arrived at the market and saw the adorable little bunnies there, my mind was made up. No more doubts. I wanted a bunny, come what may! The repeated “are you sure?” from my husband fell on deaf ears. I was in love with my new little bunny!
I have to say that my personal experience with my bunny has been a positive one. I had no idea how bunnies behave. First of all they eat everything, so you have to be careful about that. I find myself checking on my bunny every 3-5 minutes all day long if I’m home, making sure she’s not getting into trouble. (She usually is.) I think in this respect it’s much like having a toddler in the house. My bunny is a picky eater; she has to have variety. Jairo says she’s definitely in the right house, since she’s so much like me! But most of all this rabbit is hilarious. I find myself laughing all the time when she’s allowed to roam around the house. Even Jairo has taken to her.
Having a rabbit has been interesting as well because of the conversations it has sparked between Jairo and me. A lot of times we end up talking about parenting, usually with a comment I’ll make to him such as “You know, having a baby is a hundred times worse than this. If you want to have kids you’ll have to toughen up!” It makes for fun conversations and musings about the children that we someday (but not any day soon) want to have. Realizing the commitment involved in parenting (albeit parenting a rabbit for now) has made me appreciate the uninterrupted time that I have with Jairo now. I would love to have kids, maybe even a lot of them, but I’ve realized the importance of this formative time of our relationship.
As the Bible says, “For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; a time to seek, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; a time to tear, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; a time to love, and a time to hate; a time for war, and a time for peace.” (Ecc. 3:1-8)
I think much of life is understanding what time we’re in and being content to ride it out. The time for being newlyweds is just as important as the time for growing old together. And trusting God’s promise in Romans 8:28 that all thins work together for our good, we must be patient and trust that God knows exactly what time of our life is necessary. If I were to rewrite the passage of Scripture above to apply to our marriage, it might be something like this:
*For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter in our marriage: a time to have a wedding, a time to grow old; a time to invest time in each other, a time to reap the benefits of that investment; a time to argue, a time to make up; a time to change course, a time to keep going; a time to cry, a time to laugh; a time to mourn, a time to celebrate; a time to buy bunnies, a time to have children; a time to embrace, a time to keep our distance; a time to win, a time to lose (even when I know I’m right!); a time to cling, a time to let go; a time to wound for the other’s good, a time to heal; a time to be silent (I need to learn this!), a time to speak; a time to love, a time to love even more; a time for war and a time for peace.*
I was thoroughly warned about rabbits. First my mom warned me that her friend has a rabbit and likened it to a furry little demon. Then my husband gently reminded me that if we were to buy a bunny, he would have no part in taking care of it. I began to have doubts. What’s so bad about bunnies?
Well, when we arrived at the market and saw the adorable little bunnies there, my mind was made up. No more doubts. I wanted a bunny, come what may! The repeated “are you sure?” from my husband fell on deaf ears. I was in love with my new little bunny!
I have to say that my personal experience with my bunny has been a positive one. I had no idea how bunnies behave. First of all they eat everything, so you have to be careful about that. I find myself checking on my bunny every 3-5 minutes all day long if I’m home, making sure she’s not getting into trouble. (She usually is.) I think in this respect it’s much like having a toddler in the house. My bunny is a picky eater; she has to have variety. Jairo says she’s definitely in the right house, since she’s so much like me! But most of all this rabbit is hilarious. I find myself laughing all the time when she’s allowed to roam around the house. Even Jairo has taken to her.
Having a rabbit has been interesting as well because of the conversations it has sparked between Jairo and me. A lot of times we end up talking about parenting, usually with a comment I’ll make to him such as “You know, having a baby is a hundred times worse than this. If you want to have kids you’ll have to toughen up!” It makes for fun conversations and musings about the children that we someday (but not any day soon) want to have. Realizing the commitment involved in parenting (albeit parenting a rabbit for now) has made me appreciate the uninterrupted time that I have with Jairo now. I would love to have kids, maybe even a lot of them, but I’ve realized the importance of this formative time of our relationship.
As the Bible says, “For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; a time to seek, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; a time to tear, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; a time to love, and a time to hate; a time for war, and a time for peace.” (Ecc. 3:1-8)
I think much of life is understanding what time we’re in and being content to ride it out. The time for being newlyweds is just as important as the time for growing old together. And trusting God’s promise in Romans 8:28 that all thins work together for our good, we must be patient and trust that God knows exactly what time of our life is necessary. If I were to rewrite the passage of Scripture above to apply to our marriage, it might be something like this:
*For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter in our marriage: a time to have a wedding, a time to grow old; a time to invest time in each other, a time to reap the benefits of that investment; a time to argue, a time to make up; a time to change course, a time to keep going; a time to cry, a time to laugh; a time to mourn, a time to celebrate; a time to buy bunnies, a time to have children; a time to embrace, a time to keep our distance; a time to win, a time to lose (even when I know I’m right!); a time to cling, a time to let go; a time to wound for the other’s good, a time to heal; a time to be silent (I need to learn this!), a time to speak; a time to love, a time to love even more; a time for war and a time for peace.*
Week Eight: My Birthday!
This week I had my birthday! I turned 22. (I know, I’m getting so old!) The night before my birthday my whole family called me. All told the callers were my parents, my sister Tina, her husband Ryan and their two kids Bryce and Paige, My brother Nick who was home on leave from Afghanistan and his wife Taysha, my uncle Mike and my aunt Linda. It was a great surprise! (Although afterwards I felt somewhat homesick and nostalgic!)
My birthday fell on a Sunday, so after church when the people from our church caught wind of the fact that it was my birthday, they invited me to go to a cookout they wanted to have in my honor. Jairo and I decided to go, and spent most of the day there, hanging out, eating and watching a movie. It was another great example of the famous Ecuadorian hospitality, since they bought the food, soda and cake for me on the spot.
One birthday tradition I found unpleasant was one that I encountered after blowing out the candles on my birthday cake. As soon as I made a wish and blew them out everyone started chanting “Bite the cake! Bite the cake!” My reaction was a firm, “NO!” It sounded like a disgusting idea to me. Why would I bite the cake that everyone was going to eat? Well, eventually they tired of my resistance and I then realized the point of biting the cake, as the pastor shoved the cake in my face! I wasn’t that happy about it!
I told Bre about it later and we agreed that if you pulled that in the States, there’s a good chance you’d get punched! Jairo, however, didn’t see why it was bad. I asked him later, shocked, why they do that here. He replied that it’s just what they do, and it’s fun. Fun for everyone else maybe! I guess I still have some things to learn about Ecuadorian culture!
My birthday fell on a Sunday, so after church when the people from our church caught wind of the fact that it was my birthday, they invited me to go to a cookout they wanted to have in my honor. Jairo and I decided to go, and spent most of the day there, hanging out, eating and watching a movie. It was another great example of the famous Ecuadorian hospitality, since they bought the food, soda and cake for me on the spot.
One birthday tradition I found unpleasant was one that I encountered after blowing out the candles on my birthday cake. As soon as I made a wish and blew them out everyone started chanting “Bite the cake! Bite the cake!” My reaction was a firm, “NO!” It sounded like a disgusting idea to me. Why would I bite the cake that everyone was going to eat? Well, eventually they tired of my resistance and I then realized the point of biting the cake, as the pastor shoved the cake in my face! I wasn’t that happy about it!
I told Bre about it later and we agreed that if you pulled that in the States, there’s a good chance you’d get punched! Jairo, however, didn’t see why it was bad. I asked him later, shocked, why they do that here. He replied that it’s just what they do, and it’s fun. Fun for everyone else maybe! I guess I still have some things to learn about Ecuadorian culture!
Week Seven: A Blast from the Past
This week Jairo and I went to eat dinner with some friends from the US that were in Ecuador on a short-term missions trip. It was a reunion of mixed emotions for me. On the one hand, I was really excited to see them, and Jairo was too. On the other hand, it was an awkward situation, because it had been over seven months since I had seen them, and I realized how drastically I have changed.
First of all, I have changed linguistically. It’s much easier for me to speak Spanish than English. Something that you may not realize if you don’t speak two languages is that the majority of what you say in one language you cannot translate perfectly into the other. In order to reach the point where you are bilingual, you have to not just understand the words but also the culture behind the language. You have to learn to think differently. In essence, you become another person. I know it sounds unbelievable, but I have experienced it, and have talked with many other people who have experienced it as well. So, sitting there with my friends from seven months ago, I found that they were the same, or maybe slightly different, and I was worlds apart from them.
Secondly, I have changed in my perspectives. Living a life of full-time ministry and immersing myself in a completely different culture I found I was often in disagreement with the most basic statements that my friends would make. My response was generally to say nothing; after all, there’s no reason to get into those long discussions when you’re only going to see each other for one day! It’s better just to enjoy the time together, I think.
It was an experience that will stick with me for a while, because it was when I started to really realize how “successful” my acculturation has been! I’m more Ecuadorian than North American now! What a strange realization to come to!
First of all, I have changed linguistically. It’s much easier for me to speak Spanish than English. Something that you may not realize if you don’t speak two languages is that the majority of what you say in one language you cannot translate perfectly into the other. In order to reach the point where you are bilingual, you have to not just understand the words but also the culture behind the language. You have to learn to think differently. In essence, you become another person. I know it sounds unbelievable, but I have experienced it, and have talked with many other people who have experienced it as well. So, sitting there with my friends from seven months ago, I found that they were the same, or maybe slightly different, and I was worlds apart from them.
Secondly, I have changed in my perspectives. Living a life of full-time ministry and immersing myself in a completely different culture I found I was often in disagreement with the most basic statements that my friends would make. My response was generally to say nothing; after all, there’s no reason to get into those long discussions when you’re only going to see each other for one day! It’s better just to enjoy the time together, I think.
It was an experience that will stick with me for a while, because it was when I started to really realize how “successful” my acculturation has been! I’m more Ecuadorian than North American now! What a strange realization to come to!
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Week Seven: The Theology of Giving
I’m going to say something that you will probably think is crazy. I know the secret to having everything you need and want. You can have money, a car, a house, whatever it is that you want, within reason.
Interested? Give away everything you have. Give away your last penny to someone who will never pay you back.
God wants us to give to Him. He wants us to be the light of the world. He wants us to be willing to give everything to back up who we are in Him. But this command comes with a promise. In Malachi God demands our tithes and offerings, but offers also His provision. “Bring the full tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. And thereby put me to the test, says the Lord of Hosts, if I will not open the windows of Heaven for you and pour down for you a blessing until there is no more need.”
When Jairo and I need money for something, we give. And we don’t give fifty cents or five dollars. We give until it hurts. And you know what? We always have what we need. Money is nothing for God. He just wants to know where our hearts are. He loves to provide for us, and even more if we are depending on Him.
Who are you depending on? Your job? Yourself? Do you know who gave you your job? Do you know who gives you life each day? Serve God and give to Him, and He will bless you beyond your wildest dreams.
If you happen to see our bank account someday, don’t worry if it’s empty. We’re just making room for more.
Interested? Give away everything you have. Give away your last penny to someone who will never pay you back.
God wants us to give to Him. He wants us to be the light of the world. He wants us to be willing to give everything to back up who we are in Him. But this command comes with a promise. In Malachi God demands our tithes and offerings, but offers also His provision. “Bring the full tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. And thereby put me to the test, says the Lord of Hosts, if I will not open the windows of Heaven for you and pour down for you a blessing until there is no more need.”
When Jairo and I need money for something, we give. And we don’t give fifty cents or five dollars. We give until it hurts. And you know what? We always have what we need. Money is nothing for God. He just wants to know where our hearts are. He loves to provide for us, and even more if we are depending on Him.
Who are you depending on? Your job? Yourself? Do you know who gave you your job? Do you know who gives you life each day? Serve God and give to Him, and He will bless you beyond your wildest dreams.
If you happen to see our bank account someday, don’t worry if it’s empty. We’re just making room for more.
Week Seven: The ¨Day of the Woman¨
Here in Ecuador they have a special holiday just for women. It’s like mother’s day, only you don’t have to be a mother. They had a special moment in church for it and gave out roses to all the women, even the little girls.
Jairo always treats me really well, and takes great care of me, but he’s not always super tender and loving. It’s not because he doesn’t want to be. It’s because sometimes he’s tired, sick, stressed, etc. and on top of that, he’s a man! But today, on the “day of the woman” I could see how happy he was to be with me. I could see the effort he made to make the day special. I could see how much he loved me.
I think we women have to remember something, too. As a wife, when our husbands come home from work, every day should be “the day of the man”. These godly men sacrifice their time and effort to provide for us, to care for us and to show us in some way that they love us. They need to feel that we appreciate them and love them every day, not just one day a year. The most beautiful thing about marriage is that you can express your pure love for the person you married without shame or embarrassment. You can be loving and tender any time you want. It’s your right! AND your responsibility. If we are good wives every day, every day can be the “day of the woman” too. It depends on us!!
Jairo always treats me really well, and takes great care of me, but he’s not always super tender and loving. It’s not because he doesn’t want to be. It’s because sometimes he’s tired, sick, stressed, etc. and on top of that, he’s a man! But today, on the “day of the woman” I could see how happy he was to be with me. I could see the effort he made to make the day special. I could see how much he loved me.
I think we women have to remember something, too. As a wife, when our husbands come home from work, every day should be “the day of the man”. These godly men sacrifice their time and effort to provide for us, to care for us and to show us in some way that they love us. They need to feel that we appreciate them and love them every day, not just one day a year. The most beautiful thing about marriage is that you can express your pure love for the person you married without shame or embarrassment. You can be loving and tender any time you want. It’s your right! AND your responsibility. If we are good wives every day, every day can be the “day of the woman” too. It depends on us!!
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