Get-through-your.Monday Girl Time - SuperMom Jeanne Gant

Tell the truth...you actually look forward to Mondays now, because you can´t wait to read the latest mommy interview, right?? Well, maybe that´s a slight exaggeration, but I know these interviews have been an encouragement to me, and a lot of you have told me the same thing! Today´s interview is another great one, from a mommy that I really admire! We have known each other since we were both freshmen in high school and I have watched Jeanne grow from a crazy, slightly hyperactive teen (haha) into a truly inspirational woman and mother! I think you will really enjoy her perspective on life, forgiveness and letting go!

Enjoy!

-Ashley

PS- Don´t forget to leave comments for our mommies!!

 Tell us a little bit about yourself. Who are you?
My name is Jeanne, I am a full time single mom, a full time student, and a full time busy person in general. I am currently going to school for microbiology, I love science, and have recently been very interested in chromosomal research. This interest was sparked by my special needs daughter who has a chromosome disorder. She is my drive and motivation to learn the most I can from school in hopes to one day be able to apply myself in laboratory research. Being a single mom and a student I tend to have a constant, busy schedule, but in my free time I enjoy creating recipes, painting and crafting, and I always find one day a week to unwind with my friends (this is the key to my sanity). I have been through a lot of struggles these past two years, but no matter how tough things may be at times, I always try to keep a good sense of humor along with a forgiving attitude. I have learned that anger and resentment don’t solve your problems, or make you feel any better about them, so laugh it off, and keep chugging along.

Tell us about your family.
My family consists of my daughter Sophia, our two dogs, my mother, and my father. I have been very blessed with parents who have taken us all in during these busy, difficult times. In May 2010, my husband and I separated, and we are now going through a difficult divorce. During all this I discovered there was something not quite right with my daughter, Sophia. She was delayed in all areas, and she had frequent muscle spasms. In 2011, I discovered my daughter had the chromosome disorder trisomy x, the mosaic form. Trisomy x is when a woman is born with an extra x chromosome, and the mosaic form is when some of the cells have three x chromosomes, while the rest have the normal two. This mosaic form is very rare, and doctors aren’t quite sure why she has such severe symptoms. I have definitely become a much stronger person having to deal with so many things put on my plate at one time. I am very grateful for my parents, and the rest of my support system who has helped keep me sane through this journey. The thing I am most grateful for is my daughter, Sophia, who has the prettiest smile, the best laugh, and who has proven to be one tough cookie through all this. She inspires me to let the little things go, and to always keep a smile on.

How many children do you have, and what are their ages?
Sophia is my only child, and she is 3 years old.

This is an interview about motherhood, but your motherhood is shaped a lot by your marriage. How would you describe your relationship with your husband?
Like I mentioned before I am going through a divorce, so my marriage is not a very good one. I got married when I was 19, and married someone I realized I didn’t really know. It was a very rough time with a lot of emotional battles. I have learned so much from this journey, I have a new self-respect that I did not have before, and I have learned how to be truly happy on my own. I used to think life isn’t complete until a woman gets married and has children; this caused me to rush into marriage at an early age. I do not regret getting married, and now getting divorced; I am glad I have discovered who I am through this journey. I am now satisfied being alone, because I no longer feel lonely. I enjoy my independence, take pride in the things I can accomplish on my own, and now love the person I have become. I also wouldn’t have my giggly little girl in my life if I hadn’t gotten married.

What is the hardest thing about being married?
Keeping track of each other’s spendings. If one or both of you aren’t keeping track of the money you spend, then you will probably have many unpleasant arguments about over-drafting the account. I don’t think this was necessarily the hardest thing, but I think it is something a lot of married couples don’t take into account until it’s already a problem. If you can keep the small things as drama free as possible, then you are less likely to get as distressed over the bigger problems.

How did your relationship with your husband change when you became parents?
Unfortunately my ex-husband has made the choice to not be a part of our daughter’s life, so our relationship is virtually nonexistent as this point.

In what ways have you changed since you became a mother?
Before I became a mother I wasn’t very organized, I was more materialistic, I took for granted all the free time I had, and I relied on my mother to make appointments for me. Once I became a mother, or actually when I became pregnant, a clean freak switch turned on inside of me. I now hate for my house to be cluttered or disorganized. I laugh at myself thinking about how my room used to be completely covered in clothes, and now I hang up my clothes in sections according to type, and my undershirts are arranged in color coordinated rows. I also have become a queen of clearance, whereas before I used to buy whatever I wanted without worrying about the price. I don’t care about name brands, or looking super fancy anymore. Wearing yoga pants with a jersey knit cardigan is fancy in my book, and there’s no way you can convince me otherwise. As a busy mom I now cherish every quiet moment I have to myself, I love going to the store and spending extra time really looking over all the cereal. As parents we learn to sacrifice a lot: style, taking a shower daily, sleep, and a little bit of our sanity. We no longer care if we look or feel perfect, as long as our children do.

Describe a memory of pregnancy that stands out to you.
My favorite moment was when I first felt Phia kick. I had just finished eating when I felt a little gurgle feeling in my tummy. I assumed it was just my stomach digesting the food I had just eaten, but then I felt it again, so I put my hands on my tummy, and I could feel the little flutters she was making. I fell in love with those little kicks; I sat around for hours with my hands on my belly singing songs to my little kick boxer. 

Describe a memory of your first weeks of motherhood that stands out to you.
There are so many good memories of the first week I brought my little bug home, but I think one of my favorites was when I gave her her first sponge bath. It was so funny to see her squirm and move around; it looked like she was trying to dance. When we were all done I took a picture of her in her ladybug towel, and she puckered her lips like she was blowing me a kiss. It was so cute, and I just remember feeling so happy finally, after 37 long weeks, to have my baby girl all to myself.

What things do you think you would do differently if you had another child in the future?
I would do a better job at setting up sensory and motor skill activities for my child to do. Since my daughter was quite delayed in developmental skills, I got discouraged that she couldn’t do those motor activities, so we didn’t do the learning play as much as I wish we would have. Next time around I want to create an activity game plan before my baby arrives, because once you bring home baby, creating these activities are not on the top of your list anymore.

Describe your child´s personality.
Sophie was a very happy, easy going baby. She would smile and giggle all the time. Even though we later found out about her development delays, I still felt so blessed to have such a giggly, smiley baby. She still has a very goofy, happy personality. She is constantly smiling and laughing at everything. She loves to interact with others, but also enjoys going to a quiet part of the house, and just playing by herself. One thing I am grateful for is that Sophie never went through the “stranger danger” phase; she falls in love with anyone around her. She enjoys dancing, and now that she is able to walk, she loves racing around, and playing chase. This sweet little girl also has a sour side, though. She laughs when she does something she knows she is not supposed to, like pull the dog’s tail, and she thinks that is hilarious. She also has her moments you tell her no, and she throws a fit, making it very clear she is not a fan of you at that moment. Overall, though, she is one very happy, loving child. Sometimes I get sad for her that she is farther behind then kids her age, but then I look at how happy she is, and realize she doesn’t let those issues slow her down. She really brings a lot of laughter and joy to my life, and I am happy that God blessed me with such a giggly girl.

In what ways are your children similar to you? In what ways are they different from you?
We are both very goofy, we love to dance all silly, and enjoy making people laugh. When I was a child I hated having my hair combed, which is something that my daughter also does not enjoy one bit either. She is always hiding things, which I also did a lot as a child. I now understand the pain behind digging through laundry baskets, the trash, and the dog food bin to find things like my mother use to have to do when I was a child. Something odd we both have in common is we both like to play in a dark closet. Well I don’t enjoy this anymore, but as a kid my parent’s closet was one of my favorite places to play. Now my parent’s closet has once again been claimed as a play spot, but this time by my daughter. We are also both left handed.
A difference is she does not like having anyone touch her hands or feet, whereas I use to find it hysterical when my sister would pop my toes. I know, I was a strange kid. Also she is not a picky eater at all, and I was the pickiest eater as a child. Luckily I am the complete opposite now, so hopefully she won’t switch to the opposite when she is older.

For each of your children, share one of your favorite memories.
When she was finally able to walk on her own. It was 3 months before she turned three when she got leg braces, within a few days she was able to take a few steps, after a few weeks she could walk across the living room, and after a month she was able to walk fairly well. It was such a joyful moment for me, because seeing her crawl around while the other children ran around just broke my heart. She wanted to walk so badly, but had problems crisscrossing her legs. I couldn’t believe how fast she was able to walk with the braces, and she didn’t even have to keep wearing them much longer after she was able to walk on her own. She now runs so fast, and has pretty good balance. I was and am so proud of how far she has come in just 6 months.

Describe a moment as a mother where you felt overwhelmed.
My daughter took forever to sleep through the night; she was close to 3, I think. She has always had issues with muscle spasms, and they would come when she was sleeping, because her muscles were less active. When she was two she went through a phase where she would be awake from 2-4:30 every night. Oh man that was horrible! I was in school, and I was so overly exhausted, and felt like there was no way I could make it through the entire day without having an emotional breakdown. My mom would help me out with the night shifts, and we were both grumpy and tired as could be. Muscle medicine didn’t really help, so finally her doctor put her on Benadryl. She slept through the night the rest of that week, and I remember being on the verge of tears, because I was so happy my giant toddler finally slept like a normal child.

What are your favorite ways to relax when you need a little break?
Believe it or not I love to go grocery shopping. I love creating recipes, and trying new foods, so the grocery store is my outlet to relaxation. I also get one day a week where my parents will watch Sophie for the night, and I have the freedom to go do whatever. I usually hang out with my friends every Friday, and I really enjoy getting this social time with them.

What has been the hardest lesson you have had to learn as a mother?
My daughter’s father was very verbally abusive to me, and has chosen not to be a part of Sophie’s life. I can’t even describe the anger I had built up towards him, I could not believe someone could so easily detach themselves from their own child so easily. I used to spend hours dwelling on this, asking God why he would let this situation happen to me. He would always tear me down, and showed no concern for our daughter while she was going through all her medical issues. It broke my heart that he did not want to help raise such a wonderful, happy girl. I hated him for this, and once he started to help raising his girlfriend’s child, I honestly wished he would just die. I let the anger build up, until one day I realized how unhappy and stressed it was all making me. It wasn’t worth it, he wasn’t worth it. All these bad thoughts towards him and all the anger weren’t changing anything. It wasn’t affecting his life at all, just making mine tougher. This past December I finally decided to let go of all the anger, to forgive him for the choices he has made, and to focus that wasted time and energy on positive things. I am much happier now, and wish I would have been able to let go much sooner.

What has been the hardest experience you have gone through as a mother? What did that experience teach you?
My ex-husband was in the navy, and has never been a part of my daughter’s life. Having to go through the discovery of Sophie’s medical issues all on my own was really tough. The constant doctor visits, all the tests they had to run, taking her to see 4 different therapists a week; it was really emotionally draining doing that alone. I shouldn’t say I was alone, though, because I was blessed to have my mother’s help, but I felt guilty that she had to put so much of her time and efforts trying to fill in his spot. I have now learned to adapt to how things are, but in the beginning it was all very overwhelming.

Looking back on your life as a mother, what, if anything, do you regret?
I regret holding onto the anger I had towards my ex-husband for so long, and letting that anger come out towards the people I love the most. One thing that happened often was I would yell, and throw a tantrum when I couldn’t find something. Yes, it’s silly, but I wish I would have been a better example for my daughter. 

What do you think is the most important quality in a mother?
Patience and a good sense of humor.

What do you think children need most from their mothers?
Unconditional love is most important for your child; this is like food for their soul.  

What advice would you give to other mothers out there who are reading this interview?
Let go of the anger and negativity you may have towards a situation, and focus on any and every positive thing going on in your life. Be silly with your kids, nothing lifts your spirits like when your child laughs at something funny you are doing. And set a specific time every week that is devoted just for you, even if it’s just to go to the store by yourself; every parent needs that “me time” to unwind.

Do you have any tips or tricks that have helped you stay organized, run your household or raise your kids more effectively?

• Wash dishes while you are waiting on dinner to finish cooking. Less mess means less stress.
• Keep a grocery list on the fridge that you can easily write down things you need while you are thinking about them. 
• I take 15-30 minutes every night to straighten up the house, so when the weekend comes I have more free time.

Get-through-your-Monday Girl Time- SuperMom Gretchen Castro

It´s Monday, girlies! And you know what that means....Get-through-your-Monday Girl Time!! So grab your coffee (or whatever!) and I will fill you in on today´s interview from my friend Gretchen. Gretchen is one of my closest friends, which is funny because we have only met in person once! We had a lot of mutual friends, and were both pregnant at the same time. Near the end we both had some tough experiences and were desperate for the Big Day. As we waited, we wrote each other messages back and forth on Facebook in one of those instant friendships that only motherhood (or impending motherhood) can form. Our due dates were both in May, but not too close together, but in an interesting turn of events, both of our babies were born on the same day. That sealed the deal, and we have been friends ever since, going through all of motherhood´s happy little stages together, and providing each other with moral support and some much-needed comic relief! Now I turn it over to Gretchen and her interview, which I totally relate to (obvious.) and I think you will, too. Enjoy!

-Ashley

Tell us a little bit about yourself. Who are you?
I am Gretchen, daughter of God, wife, mother, sister, friend, and graduate (from Central Christian College of the Bible).

Tell us about your family.
I am married to the most wonderful man I know, Luis, who is from Guayaquil, Ecuador, and my son is Jaden who just turned 2. My husband and I have been married since July 4, 2008 and when our son was almost 6 months old, we were able to travel to Ecuador and bring daddy home with us.

How many children do you have, and what are their ages?
I have one child for now and he turned 2 in May. (Update: Gretchen is now pregnant with another boy and is due May 20th!)

This is an interview about motherhood, but your motherhood is shaped a lot by your marriage. How would you describe your relationship with your husband?
Our relationship is relaxed and fun, we are comfortable with each other. We challenge each other in many ways and bring out the best in one another. Even when one is upset with the other, we are quick to forgive and forget. Our idea of relaxing is spending time with our family.

What is the hardest thing about being married?
The hardest thing about being married is remember that you are not the only one you have to think about before you do something, you have a family to take into account and they are an important part of the decisions.

What is the best thing about being married?
The best thing about being married is having someone to come home to, who loves you no matter what and will help you through any trial or struggle you face. You always have someone in your corner.

Describe a memory between you and your husband that really stands out in your mind.
This isn't really a specific memory but this is what comes to mind.

We are really bad a keeping secrets. Every time we plan to do something special for each other, we end up spoiling the surprise or doing it way before we had planned because we can't hide it. We have way more fun together spoiling our surprises than anything else.

How did your relationship with your husband change when you became parents?
Our relationship became more family focused, we would rather be at home with Jaden than going out for the evening and leaving him at home with someone else. We both love our son more than we could ever have imagined and we got to know a new side of each other as we adjusted to being parents together.

How does your parenting style compare with your husband´s?
I am always looking for new activities and things to keep Jaden busy, my husband is more relaxed and if he likes what he is doing why try to find something else? He is more stern and expects obedience, but I have a hard time disciplining and I am easily won over with a winning smile and a hug or a kiss.

In what ways have you changed since you became a mother?
I have become more crafty, I never sewed or tried to do things on my own. Now I feel more empowered to do for myself and save money anywhere I can. I am also more compassionate and have more patience than before.

Describe a memory of pregnancy that stands out to you.
I had a miserable pregnancy, my morning sickness lasted forever, I was exhausted and uncomfortable all the time, I was huge for months and I had lots of little things like a painful rash all over my back, difficulty with my hips, etc. I did love feeling him move though, it was really exciting and made it all worth it.

Describe a memory of your first weeks of motherhood that stands out to you.
I loved being my son´s favorite person, being the only one who could comfort him and nursing, even though it, too, was painful and caused me a lot of trouble, it was worth the special bond with my child.

What things do you think you would do differently if you had another child in the future?
I think in the future I would incorporate a lot more bible stories and singing from early on. Its hard to know how to incorporate Jesus into your child's life when they are trying to learn so many other things. I think incorporating it since birth would be a better way to go. I would also go about discipline in a different way, it’s hard but it’s for the best. When they are little it’s hard to get your point across but there has to be a good way out there.

Describe your child´s personality.
We always say that Jaden is “all boy”. He is definitely full of energy, fun-loving, affectionate, happy, and crazy. He loves to wrestle and tackle his father and play outside.

In what ways are your children similar to you? In what ways are they different from you?
Jaden sleeps like me, he tosses and turns and it takes him forever to get comfortable so he can sleep. He also has a lot of the same mannerisms. He loves books and playing in the rain and he loves to snuggle. All of which he has in common with me! He is different in his love of spending hours outside, he is very physical and I am definitely not, I would much rather curl up with a book inside. He also loves meat, when he is willing to eat it, and I hate meat.

For each of your children, share one of your favorite memories.
One of the things I love most about Jaden is watching him run to his father and yell daddy every time he comes home and watching the joy on his face as he plays with his dad. He is so happy and in his element rough-housing with Luis.

Describe a moment as a mother where you felt overwhelmed.
Trying to get Jaden to eat healthy and be healthy. He had very low iron several months ago and when we checked it about a month ago it still wasn't where it needed to be. I feel overwhelmed trying to force him to eat something when he doesn't want to. I also felt very overwhelmed with potty training, it went well for a couple days then he decided he wasn't ready so we quit, it was a very stressful, frustrating time. We will try again in a few weeks. (Update: Jaden is now fully potty trained! Good job hanging in there, Gretchen!)

What are your favorite ways to relax when you need a little break?
I love to relax reading my Bible and listening to worship music (and singing along) on my ipod, it helps me get away from it all and re-focus. I also love to sit down and read a good book, or watch a movie with my family.

What has been the hardest lesson you have had to learn as a mother?
The hardest lesson to learn is that I don't have to take everyone's advice and opinions to heart. Not everything others say is helpful. I have to do what is best for my child and myself and let everyone else worry about themselves. You can't ever please everyone and you have to be ok with that.

What has been the hardest experience you have gone through as a mother? What did that experience teach you?
Probably the hardest experience was right after Jaden was born, we found out he had a sacral dimple at the base of his spine. It was sealed but it was a scary day waiting to see if anything would happen, if it leaked it would have meant a lot of medical issues and serious problems for my brand new baby. It taught me that it’s all in God's hands, to take one day at a time, and that God's grace is sufficient.

Looking back on your life as a mother, what, if anything, do you regret?
I don't have a lot to regret, but I do regret letting the advice and opinions of others have such an effect on my parenting. I felt that I had to do things the same way others did or wanted me to and now I resent that. I know my child and our relationship better than anyone else and I need to do what is best for us.

What do you think is the most important quality in a mother?
I think the most important quality in a mother is love. Love should be the basis for everything we do in parenting. Everything else will be fine if we base it in love.

What do you think children need most from their mothers?
Children need love and an example of Jesus from us. Jesus needs to come first and our children should see that.

What advice would you give to other mothers out there who are reading this interview?
Don't let anyone else control you or make you feel bad because you don't do things the way they want you to. Pray and think before you act. Stop and ask yourself, will I regret this later? Are my actions based in the love of Jesus? Then do what you need to do.

Do you have any tips or tricks that have helped you stay organized, run your household or raise your kids more effectively?
Make a cleaning schedule, choose a day of the week to clean each room and clean it well. Use a planner or calendar to keep track of special dates, when bills are due, appointments, etc. It helps even to look back on when things happen. I don't always have time to write in Jaden's baby book or journal but I jot it down in my planner so I can go back and write about it later.

Get-through-your-Monday Girl Time - SuperMom Catherine Allison

Hello, Monday friends! I´m glad to have you back for another round of Get-through-your-Monday Girl Time! Today I am sharing one of my best friends with you, so you should feel very lucky! I have known this sweet lady since we were in high school together, and we have shared our lives since then, sometimes during sleepovers and soccer practice, and sometimes through facebook chat prayer requests from 3,000 miles away. Catherine, or Cathy as I know her, is a wonderful woman of God who strives to be the best she can be for her family, and she is a great encouragement to me! I hope you find her sweet, bubbly personality an encouragement as well! You can also read more from Cathy at her blog here. Enjoy!
Ashley

Tell us a little bit about yourself. Who are you?
Hello! My name is Catherine Allison. I am a blessed wife to an amazing husband, a happy mama to 2 beautiful children, and a saved woman by God’s grace. I was adopted at the age of 13, baptized at 16, married my best friend at the age of 21, and had my first child at the age of 23. My life has been one joyous and adventurous ride that I wouldn’t change for anything!

Tell us about your family.
I married my best friend/high school sweetheart my sophomore year in college. It was a beautiful happy day when we became Man and Wife! There were many happy tears shed that day! My husband is the worship leader at the church we attend along with serving as a Deacon. His job consists of him filming, producing and writing commercials for cable television. I stay home loving on my precious family, teaching them God’s beautiful truths, and serving my husband. I also teach the toddler Sunday school at our church. We have 2 children: J and E. J is 3, and E is 6 months. We strive to love Jesus together as a family, and we make it our goal to portray the gospel by the way we love and serve one another through our family.
How many children do you have, and what are their ages?
We have 2 children: J and E. J is 3, and E is 6 months.

This is an interview about motherhood, but your motherhood is shaped a lot by your marriage. How would you describe your relationship with your husband?
My relationship with my husband is based on grace. We love each other completely, and strive every day to serve one another the best we know how by God’s grace. We always look for ways to encourage each other, pray with each other, and speak God’s word into each other’s lives. We have been married for 5 years, and are still madly in love.

What is the hardest thing about being married?
We are told in the book of Colossians that wives are to be submissive to their husbands, as to the Lord. Ephesians also teaches this doctrine of family. As wives, we are commanded to be submissive and honoring to our husbands. However, we know that the curse on Eve, which was extended to all of God’s creation, would be that woman’s desire would be to rule over her own husband. This has been so true in my marriage at times, and I have had to repent several times because of this. The fact that we are commanded to submit and honor our husband makes it that important to God. This truly is one of the hardest things about being married: Being submissive and honoring to my husband, as is fitting in the Lord.

What is the best thing about being married?
My husband is my perfect helpmeet. He guides, leads, encourages and prays for his family. He speaks scripture into our lives. The best thing about being married to him is simply just getting to be his wife. I realize this probably sounds cliché, but seriously, I truly am one blessed woman to have him as my husband. He’s my best friend. He’s the man I get to spend all my days with, the man I get to watch raise our children by teaching them the joys of serving the Lord, the man I look forward to coming home to everyday just to chat with, cry with, and laugh with. He is the man I treasure; he is the man I want to make memories with that last a lifetime. I love being married to my best friend! I love that we get to serve the Lord together; that truly is the best thing about being married!

Describe a memory between you and your husband that really stands out in your mind.
I’ll never forget the moment when my husband became a father. It truly was the most beautiful picture. Watching the doctors place our boy into my husband’s arms, and watching my husband tear up and cheer that he’s a daddy made this Mama cry like a baby. At that moment, I realized I was one blessed woman. This moment is forever etched into my memory, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

How did your relationship with your husband change when you became parents?
Since becoming parents, my relationship with my husband has changed for the better. We have learned to be more patient with each other, show more grace to one another, and communicate better. Our love for each other has even deepened. My love and respect for my husband has grown stronger as I have watched him raise and teach our kids the joys of following the Lord. I have become more faithful in honoring and submitting to my husband’s direction and lead in our family as it relates to things like disciplining our children or how we should school our children, etc. My relationship with my husband has changed for the better!

How does your parenting style compare with your husband´s?
For the most part are parenting styles are pretty similar, and if they are not, we strive to make that happen. This is so that our children learn to respect both parents equally, and so that they can expect the same outcomes from both parents. However, if I were to point out one thing that was different in our parenting styles it would be grace and patience. My husband tends to show more grace and patience with our children than I do. I’m learning to be a mom that’s full of grace, and it’s definitely hard for me. It’s something I pray for everyday!

In what ways have you changed since you became a mother?
I would say I have definitely realized my need for Jesus more since being a mother. I have also had to rely more on Him for teaching me grace, patience and love. Prayer has become more a part of my life than ever before, and seeking His word has become more of a challenge, but necessary challenge in my life. Pray for me on this one friends and family! Spending time in God’s word and prayer is a necessary tool for living this life, and with children sometimes it can be hard to find time.

Describe a memory of pregnancy that stands out to you.
For both of my pregnancie it was the first time I felt them move. It was a joy of mine to get to feel them move in my womb. It was more of a real presence for me that I had a baby growing inside me; a baby I was truly grateful to have join our family.

Describe a memory of your first weeks of motherhood that stands out to you.
Late night feedings was a memory I didn’t expect and enjoy at first. I had such a hard time with this at first. When baby woke up wanting to nurse, I remember thinking to myself, “Please just go back to sleep. Mommy is so tired. I need to sleep.” This was when I realized how selfish of a person I was, putting my needs first before my child’s needs. Don’t get me wrong, I knew I was selfish before, but having a baby magnified it so much more. Now, I just cherish the moments I have with my daughter and son, because I know life is short and precious, and I know our children aren’t babies forever. I am only able to do this of course by God’s grace. It’s through his strength that I am able to love, care for and noursih my children, because without Him I would be a total failure.

In what ways has your parenting style changed with each child?
Since becoming a mom of two, I think I have become much more relaxed with life in general. I’m not so stir crazy when things go array, and when the house seems like everything is a mess from all the dishes being dirty, six loads of laundry needing to be folded and put away, and children toys, books, games, etc. sporadically tossed (or so it seems) all over the house.

As far as parenting two children, I think maybe I’ve encouraged more independence in my son, and tried teaching him to do some things on his own more without Mommy’s help. I have also seen myself relax more with him. I am not so uptight when his room is a mess; the house is a mess due to his messy concoctions, game playing, etc, and when he gets super dirty from painting, playing outside, etc. Overall, I would like to say I am more fun to be around now!

In what ways are your children similar to each other and in what ways are they different?
I’m pretty sure my children were twins separated by almost 3 years of life. My son and daughter look identical, and have very similar personalities. Both, so far, were/are easy, easy babies. Neither one of them cry(ied) a lot, had weird sleeping habits, etc. They both were/are very happy babies, and smile and laugh a lot. E is a lot more content by herself  than J was being by himself. He didn’t hate it, but he wouldn’t play on his own for more than 10 minutes at a time without getting upset or throwing a fit. E can be left a lone for a long time (close to 30 minutes), and she is happy. We don’t make a habit with leaving E alone, but I do let her jump in her Jumperro for 15-20 minutes in the morning and afternoon while I do some “tot school” with J. She is totally ok with this, too! E also learned to self-soothe at 2-months, so she didn’t need Mommy’s touch/help every time she is/was upset like J did when he was a baby. She is a thumb sucker, and J liked the pacifier. There are definitely pros/cons of both, but man I’m loving that E is a thumb sucker, that’s for sure!

In what ways are your children similar to you? In what ways are they different from you?
My children are very much like their Dad and me. I would say though that their dramatic behavior when things don’t always go their way is more similar to my behavior, because their father never stresses out or gets upset. It’s pretty incredible how he leads such a stress free life. I pray, by God’s grace, I am able to do that this year. Both of my children are/were easy babies, and for the most part my husband and I were as well. My children are happy and cheerful most of the time, and I’d like to say the same goes for my husband and me. Both of my children are also very athletic, and their father and I were in high school. We still play sports occasionally, but we’re so out of shape, so it’s not often that we do. Lord willing, this will be changing in the New Year! My son is musically talented. This he gets from his father, and not from me. My son is also a very organized toddler. This he gets from me. I think it’s because I taught him to be that way at such a young age…haha!

For each of your children, share one of your favorite memories.
There are always too many favorite memories to list from your child’s life, so I’ll pick out a few:
For J one of my favorite memories was when he first started walking, and he toddled over to me with a big smile on his face, gave me the biggest hug, and then promptly kissed me (snot and all) on my cheek. It was gross, but I loved every minute of it.

Hearing him say, “I wuv you, Mommy,” for the first time is something I will never forget.

Hearing his first cry the day he was born is something I can’t explain, nor do I think anyone can explain. It did something to me. I will forever hold on to that memory so etched into my brain.

Seeing my husband became a father for the first time was definitely a favorite memory. Watching him carry his son, J, out to meet his family for the first time is a memory I’ll never forget.

For E it was her first cry, her first smile, and her first sneeze. It was seeing her Daddy totally smitten by her. Babies are simply adorable and loving, and she is by far one of the most loving and happiest babies I have ever known. She provides lots of joy in our family! We are so thankful God blessed us with her!

Describe a moment as a mother where you felt overwhelmed.
Again. There have been, and will probably be several more moments where I feel completely overwhelmed and not adequate enough to be a mother, which bare with me on this one, I’m not adequate to be a mother, and life isn’t going to be easy-especially for those who belong to Christ. It is only be God’s grace that I’m able to love, care for, teach and nurture my children. Without God in my life, I wouldn’t be the mother I am today, and my family wouldn’t be the family they are today, because apart from Him we are nothing. It is by His grace, His son’s blood on the cross, and His victory over Satan that I can stand and be a good mom. It is through His strength that I can overcome the hardships and trials as a mother. It’s because of Him that when my son was diagnosed with a severe peanut and milk allergy I was able to believe and trust in His word and promise that He’s a good God. His plans are perfect. That somehow these allergies would bring Him glory. So yes, I’ve been overwhelmed many times, and yes, there are some that stand out more than others (like J’s constant battle with peanut and milk allergies), but I rest assured in His promises that He’s a good God, His plans are perfect, and He will redeem His people! Praise God for that! I look forward to His return when all pain, suffering, sickness and death will be vanquished! Come Lord Jesus!

What are your favorite ways to relax when you need a little break?
My favorite ways to relax when I need a little break are too many to list, and not enough time for me to get to do them during the day…lol! Anyhow, I love spending time in prayer, God’s word and listening to a sermon or podcast while resting on the couch during the kid’s naps. Most of the time, I fall asleep myself. That is simply fabulous when I get a nap in during the day. I’m not going to lie though about my favorite way to relax. I enjoy sitting on the couch or in my recliner with my feet propped up reading a good book or watching a fabulous television show. Love those rare moments when that happens. I also enjoy shopping, eating chocolate and getting a manicure as a way to relax. Please don’t judge…lol!

What has been the hardest lesson you have had to learn as a mother?
Patience. I have never been a very patient person (just ask Ashley, she can tell you), and raising a toddler calls for that character quality for sure. I still struggle with this, and pray every day that God would make me more patient, more like Him as He relates to His people. I do know I have developed more patience since becoming a mother, but it’s nowhere perfect or close to where it should be. Praying this changes in my life.

What has been the hardest experience you have gone through as a mother? What did that experience teach you?
The one that stands out to me the most is my son’s constant battle with severe peanut and milk allergies.  If given a drink of milk or one peanut, he can go into anaphylactic shock, which ultimately can kill him.  I can’t tell you how many close calls we have had, and how on edge I tend to be when we go new places. This is a battle I hated at first, and was angry with God at first, but now I see how God has used this for His good. He has drawn my family and I closer to Him, He has caused us to be smart and healthy with what we eat, and ultimately, He has turned us into a prayer warrior family. I find myself always praying for my children, for their ultimate healing, which is their salvation, but also for J’s healing with his allergies. If you’re a prayer warrior, then feel free to pray the same.

Looking back on your life as a mother, what, if anything, do you regret?
I have only been a mother for 3-years, so I don’t feel like there is much too look back on in my mothering life, but what I do know is this that there have been many times where I haven’t been patient and loving to my children. This I regret. I pray to change this. I hope to change this. I long to change this. I want to be like Christ as He is with His people. I want my children to see the love of Jesus in me as I love for, care for, and nurture them.

What do you think is the most important quality in a mother?
A mother who loves with a Christ like love, prays for her children daily, and devotes her time to her family is something to be admired. One who seeks Jesus in all of life is something to be talked about, and something I pray that I do. A mother who serves her family happily, and rejoices always is important as well!

What do you think children need most from their mothers?
LOVE, because without love everything is meaningless. (1 Corinthians 13)

Get-Through-Your-Monday Girl Time - SuperMom Theresa Fuller

Well, here ya go kids, another wonderful interview for our ¨Get-through-your-Monday Girl Time!¨ I had so much fun reading this interview, and I think you will, too. I remember babysitting Theresa´s first daughter when she was just a toddler, and I was probably in middle school! It´s fun to read about their ups and downs as a family, what it means to grow up, and how to make cleaning the house an adventure! So grab your cup of coffee, or whatever your guilty pleasure is, and take a few minutes out for girl time! Enjoy!
-Ashley

Tell us a little bit about yourself. Who are you?
I’m Theresa Fuller. I’m a stay-at-home mom and I’m currently working on my Bachelor’s Degree in Healthcare Administration.

Tell us about your family.
I’ve been married for 9 years to my husband, Stephen. We met in the Army National Guard about ten years ago and fell in love at first sight. Not really, though… Actually he asked me out a bunch of times, I said no a bunch of times, and then my car broke down and he just happened to stop to help me, so I was forced to say yes when he asked me out again.  Then, we were a bit careless and a couple months later while he was in Korea I sent him an email, “We need to talk when you get home.” He responded with, “Are you pregnant?” The answer was yes… And that should make the math easier for anyone who starts doing the math on the next question…

How many children do you have, and what are their ages?
Stephanie, 9 years; Christopher, 8 years; Makenzie, almost 5 years

This is an interview about motherhood, but your motherhood is shaped a lot by your marriage. How would you describe your relationship with your husband?
We have a lot of fun. We play fight and argue and joke around constantly. People often think we’re arguing, when really we’re just joking around with one another. We enjoy each other´’s company and love laughing at/with each other. When we actually argue, it rarely lasts long. We’ve been through some rough times, especially after his dad died, and I think we both seriously considered divorce for a good year, but we stuck it out and now we’re a lot happier.

What is the hardest thing about being married?
I think the hardest part for us is disciplining the children together. We both have different ideas on parenting and he’s quick to discipline while I’m quick to just talk to the kids about what they’re doing wrong. I base more importance on communication and he bases more importance on punishment so that they’ll learn from their mistakes.

What is the best thing about being married?
The best thing about being married is having someone to share things with. Whether something good happens, or something bad happens, he’s always the first one I want to tell.

Describe a memory between you and your husband that really stands out in your mind.
As I mentioned before, we barely knew each other when I got pregnant. I was 19 years old and we hadn’t seen each other for weeks because he was in Korea. He got back home and I expected him to say he wanted nothing to do with the baby or me. I even thought he might bring up adoption or abortion. I was terrified and thought I was going to have to have my baby and take care of it alone. I was also self-conscious because I was so skinny when I got pregnant that I was starting to show already.

We went on a date and talked and I don’t remember much of that at all, but afterwards he drove me back to my car. I remember still expecting to never see him again, but before I got into my car he put his arms around me and hugged me. We stood in a parking lot next to my car, under the stars, and he just held me for what seemed like forever. I remember thinking to myself, “Wow, I might be able to fall in love with this guy.” And then I did…

How did your relationship with your husband change when you became parents?
Since our story isn’t the normal story of love, marriage, babies, we didn’t really know one another very well by the time I had Stephanie. She was born prematurely and was in NICU for a while before she came home on an apnea monitor. Stephen and I were clearly both still kids before she was born, but as soon as she was born we both grew up quite a bit. He woke up with me every 2 hours to go back to the hospital and feed Stephanie, and he made sure I ate enough and took care of myself. We started really relying on each other after Stephanie was born, and I finally realized not only how much I loved him, but how much he loved me. He’d asked me to marry him before, but I had said “no” because I didn’t want him to marry me just because I was pregnant. A week after Stephanie was born, he asked again, and I knew at that point that there was so much more to our relationship than just having a baby together. I said yes and we got married the next day.

How does your parenting style compare with your husband´s?
If the kids do something wrong, Stephen scolds them or makes them take a time out. I usually start with a warning or a discussion. I’m big on making them discuss their feelings, whereas he doesn’t. He jokes around with the kids more than I do, and they wrestle with each other all the time. He’d rather stay at home and play with the kids or work in the yard with them, but I like to take the kids places and try to avoid being at home with them if the weather’s nice.

In what ways have you changed since you became a mother?
I’ve become a million times more patient. I’ve changed so much that I don’t really know where to begin, but with each child I’ve become progressively more patient and understanding.

Describe a memory of pregnancy that stands out to you.
I loved being pregnant, so this is a difficult question to choose just one! Of course, I remember the first time I felt my babies move, and I remember the first time I put Stephen´s hand on my belly so that he could feel them move with each pregnancy… I guess one of my favorite memories is probably listening to Stephen read to my belly. He used to read Oh Baby, the Places You’ll Go to my belly every day. Right before I had Stephanie, he read it again and I cried the whole time.

Describe a memory of your first weeks of motherhood that stands out to you.
When Stephanie was 28 days old, Stephen deployed. I drove to Ft. McCoy, Wisconsin every single weekend with our tiny, premature newborn to make sure that he got to see her as many times as possible before he went overseas. I was never more than a few feet from Stephanie for the first few months because I couldn’t stand being away from both her and my husband.

In what ways has your parenting style changed with each child?
I’ve become less nervous about everything. Now I know that a fever is usually nothing to worry about, so I baby my kids and treat them, but I don’t panic. I still keep my kids close, and it still annoys me when I see other kids running free with no parents in sight, but I’ve learned that it’s okay if they climb a tree (not TOO high) and maybe fall and scrape a knee, etc. I’ve just generally allowed each kid to have a little bit more fun because I know that they might get hurt, but they can still play and have fun without getting hurt even if I don’t keep them on a tight leash.

In what ways are they similar to each other and in what ways are they different?
All three of my kids are very loving. They still randomly give me a hug or a kiss on the cheek and tell me that they love me. Stephanie’s feelings are easily hurt, and she’s quite the drama queen. Sometimes she’ll run off screaming that “nobody loves her,” but she’s quick to smile when I remind her that she’s actually very loved, even when she’s being dramatic. A small scolding is all she needs if she does something wrong. She’s so eager to please. Christopher is stubborn and has a temper. Scolding does little good, but grounding him from his favorite toys keeps him in line when needed. Makenzie is a trouble-maker. She’s quick to shed crocodile tears if she gets caught doing something wrong, and she’s usually the one who starts the arguments. She’s also hilarious. It’s hard to punish her without laughing most of the time.

All three of my kids are VERY polite. I love it when I receive compliments on their manners/behavior. It reminds me that I’m doing something right, and it makes them feel good about themselves, too!

In what ways are your children similar to you? In what ways are they different from you?
Remember that drama queen thing? Stephanie gets that from me. Christopher’s temper? That’s his dad. And Makenzie’s trouble-making ability? Also me. I call my mom and apologize weekly.

For each of your children, share one of your favorite memories.
How do I choose just one? This question has taken me forever because I feel like I make a new favorite memory every week.

I think for Stephanie, my favorite memory is my wedding. One of the NICU nurses brought Stephanie to the hospital chapel so that she could be there for Stephen and I’s last-minute wedding. I didn’t think she’d be allowed to go, so it was a huge, amazing surprise for me. I’ll always be grateful to that nurse for allowing us that memory.

Christopher- I think my favorite just happened a couple weeks ago. I took him to Turkey Run with my mother-in-law and his sisters and at the end of a great day (before he’d received a SINGLE present, mind you), he informed me that this was the BEST birthday ever, and told Makenzie that she should go there for her birthday, too.

Makenzie- I can’t choose a single memory of Makenzie… My favorite general memory about her was when she was a baby. From the time she was born, she was the fussiest, loudest baby. I knew she was my last, though, so I didn’t mind. I cuddled, rocked, patted, walked, soothed, and nursed her with such patience for so many months. I don’t know where I got the patience from, but I don’t remember ever feeling overwhelmed with her like I did with the other two. I enjoyed every single minute of it, even without any sleep.

Describe a moment as a mother where you felt overwhelmed.
When Stephen got on the bus to deploy, I’ve never felt so overwhelmed. I had this tiny baby, my new husband was going to go overseas, and I was very young. I really can’t describe how difficult it was for me to be strong for Stephanie, or how painful it was to see my husband cry as he told our little girl goodbye.

What are your favorite ways to relax when you need a little break?
I love a hot bubble bath and a good book. My kids might not have survived this long if not for hot water and books. Okay, they may have SURVIVED, but they might be in cages or something. (Kidding, I swear).

What has been the hardest lesson you have had to learn as a mother?
I think it’s that babies really DO grow up way too fast. I could elaborate, but I think any mom reading this already understands.

What has been the hardest experience you have gone through as a mother? What did that experience teach you?
I think this goes back to when Stephen deployed. It taught me that I could do more than I ever thought I could. I could handle more than I knew. It also taught me that things were no longer about me; they were about my baby(ies). I learned to rely on my family, and on my little girl for comfort because I didn’t have to do anything alone. I had other people.

Looking back on your life as a mother, what, if anything, do you regret?
I regret not getting antidepressants sooner after I had Christopher. I had postpartum depression and I didn’t realize it. Because of that, I barely remember the first 6 months of his life, really. I didn’t enjoy him as much as I should have. To be honest, I didn’t really even like him at first. I loved him, but I didn’t like him. That is my only regret.

What do you think is the most important quality in a mother?
Patience. If you become frustrated quickly or forget that these little people rely on you to teach them, you miss out on so many chances. Everything can be a learning experience, and with a little patience, everything can be fun.

What do you think children need most from their mothers?
Love, but that seems obvious.

What advice would you give to other mothers out there who are reading this interview?
You will make mistakes. So will your kids. Big deal! Learn from them, teach from them, and move on. Love every single minute. A friend of mine has metastatic breast cancer and 2 young girls. She lives every day with the sole purpose of making memories for her kids, and now I do, too. If something happens to me tomorrow, I know my kids will have amazing memories because I’ve helped make them.

Do you have any tips or tricks that have helped you stay organized, run your household or raise your kids more effectively?
Organized? Ha! I’m horrible with organization in all forms. Lately I’ve developed a policy… If I wake up one day and want to take the kids to the zoo, we go to the zoo. If the laundry isn’t folded, it can wait until we get home. If we stay home to clean the house, I put on loud music and we sing and dance while we clean. Everything should be an adventure. If you can do that with organization, great, but I’m better at doing it all “on the fly.”

Things You Forget to Remember, Continued

If you are a friend of mine on facebook, you probably know that my facebook account exists primarily for the purpose of recording all of the adorable things my daughter says until I can write them down somewhere. Now, I don´t know how much other people really care about reading my daughter´s quotes, but it doesn´t really matter. It´s mostly for me anyway.

I was amazed at how early she started saying things that I wanted to remember. So in my free moments, I think back to the things she has said that day or in the past few days that were special to me. Sometimes they are funny things, or sometimes they are things that reflect who she is as a person, and those are things that I don´t want to forget. But I will. And every so often there is a moment where I turn to my husband and say, ¨What was that funny thing Bella said this morning?¨ Sometimes we remember, sometimes we don´t. As a parent, you get this nagging feeling that your kids are growing up right in front of your eyes, every single day, and no matter how much you determine to remember, there will still be a million things you will forget.

It isn´t just the things they say. It´s in the looks they give you, the things they do, the moments you share. Sometimes, to an onlooker, that moment that you wish you could bottle up and save forever looks totally commonplace. It´s not all about the first steps or the first word. Really, it´s not about those moments at all. You know you will remember those, and, if you´re like me, you will probably have five thousand pictures and videos of those moments to help you remember in case you should get amnesia.

Tonight I was thinking, as I was putting my daughter down to sleep for the night, that sometimes it can even be the moments that you think, as you´re living them, are just annoying. Like when they won´t sleep, and you are pregnant and hot and you don´t really want anyone touching you and you just want this kid to fall asleep so you can have a little space! And then that little scoundrel, as if reading your mind, turns around, tucks one arm under you, and with the other hand, roughly pats your head, mimicking the way you stroke her hair as she falls asleep. Kids are great with that stuff. They diffuse you, just like that, and make you wonder what you were so annoyed about in the first place.

It´s the way they say. ¨I love you¨. Sometimes they actually say those words, but as wonderful as those words are, the meaning behind them is still developing. The real love a child gives her mother is active. It is given. It is returned to you in the way you give it to her. She learned to express love from you! I think that might be the most exciting thing about motherhood.

I love to watch my daughter play with her dolls and stuffed animals. She is attentive, thoughtful and affectionate. She is tender and loving. She speaks kindly to them, showers them with affection and cares for them meticulously. It makes me feel like I am doing something right. I am teaching her to be a mother.

Of course, she also picks up some of my bad habits. Ahem. So don´t think I´m bragging. I´m not.

I just love to see her blossom, and to know that I had something to do with that, even with all my flaws and failures.

I´m getting ready for the arrival of our second daughter, and just thinking about what I want to remember about Bella as she is right now. Soon she will be adding ¨big sister¨ to her list of experiences, and I´m glad for her. I think having a sibling is a blessing, and something that really helps develop character. But I´m also sad. Sad because while she will always be my baby, she will no longer be THE baby, and I know that will be difficult and confusing for her. I´m sad that we will never be just the two of us girls again. (Although I´m excited to be the three of us girls!) It´s a bittersweet time, and I´m trying to savor our last weeks as a twosome.

Some of Bella´s favorite things right now:

Stuffed animals of every variety, playing doctor, taking our order and making us a meal in her kitchen (algo más?), stickers, jewelry and TV (a relatively new discovery since in Ecuador we watch a total of 0 TV...)

Hugs, kisses, cuddles (cummy me, mommy!!), climbing all over me, trying to lick us (gross)

Ice water, fruit, candy (another USA discovery), meat of all kinds, pizza, donuts

Spiderman, but not Batman (he nasty, mommy)...and ¨Hulk for dadda¨ (Why? We don´t know...)

Trying to be bossy (I told you no, mommy!)

Beetles, but not spiders (I don´t yike it spiders)

Bathtime, especially with bubbles or colored water, but not getting out of the bath

Pink

Looking at herself in the mirror

Taking off her pants and running around the house in her undies


Shoes!!


Doing ¨exercises¨

Church, but only because the nursery has tons of toys. Ha.

Story time at the library (probably the thing I will miss most about the US)

Eating snow (another happy USA experience!)

Helping clean up (Me do it!)




Matt Redman, Toby Mac, Old MacDonald, Twinkle Twinkle, The Itsy Bitsy Spider, 5 Little Monkeys, ¨Yo soy¨...and others

Watching the ministry videos that daddy makes (Pa mano, papá!)



And I´m sure there is so much more! All of these things change and grow every day, just like she does, but sometimes it´s good to take a little snapshot, because there is so much that we forget to remember.

What are the things your children say or do that you want to be sure to remember?