Sorry to all of my faithful followers out there...all four of you. I keep meaning to blog, but I just never sit down and do it. But today I was thinking that if I have 15 minutes to play games on facebook (don´t judge me!) then I probably have time to blog.
Actually, in order to write this particular entry, I had to test my skills at acrobatics to climb out of bed after nursing Bella. I had to maneuver myself out from under my daughter and then do a sort of twisty climb to get over Jairo, while avoiding that plastic grocery bag on the floor which could potentially make noise, which would mean GAME OVER.
I originally got back up to clean the stove, but since it is a chore I hate with my whole being, I thought blogging sounded like more fun. Aren´t you glad?
As I listened to my husband snoring and as I watched my beautiful baby girl sleep sprawled out on the bed (leaving about 3 inches for my acrobatics) I tried to remember what sleep was like. You know, real sleep. Like, when you go to bed just because you´re tired and you wake up when you´re all done sleeping and super refreshed? I have a vague recollection of being one of those blessed people who sleep, but it seems like such a long time ago.
Not that I´m complaining. They say Thomas Edison only slept four hours a night. And he got quite a lot done in a day. Also, when he died, the autopsy found that he had died of not one but four terminal illnesses. Hmm. He was also known to be cranky, something we have in common. Now if only I could invent something as genious as a lightbulb, everyone would forgive the crankiness and think I was awesome.
Nighttime hours are great when you´re a mom because there exist things in these hours that do not exist in the daytime. Things like quiet, stillness, peace, focus, and the ability to accomplish things that you really want to accomplish and which have nothing to do with diapers, meals, and just taking care of everyone else. Don´t get me wrong, I love to take care of my family. But you have to find some time for yourself. The best part is that while I do feel slightly more exhausted than if I get more sleep (but once you´re exhausted, what´s a little more?), I don´t feel like I´m missing out on those special family moments. And I don´t feel like anyone is really missing me. Except for the occasional cry from Bella, or, now that she is bigger, the occasional peeping out of her tiny face from behind the bedroom door, with a kind of drunk-looking expression that says, ¨What the heck are you doing??¨ I love those moments! And they are a reminder that a mother´s work truly is never done. You don´t see her poking her head out to look for daddy. So that´s kind of nice.
The best part of motherhood are the rewards that are so completely unexpected. Like moments where your baby turns the music on your cell phone and starts dancing, and you just can´t help but laugh. Or when she puts a raisin in the giant straw and grins as though she has really accomplished something fantastic. Not to mention the spontaneous kisses and hugs, the smiles shot at you from across the room or when you realize that in her constant babbling she is talking to her toys about you (MAMA! MAMA!).
And being a stay at home mom has allowed us to create a special little world just for our family, and especially for mommy and baby. It´s nice to feel like you have all you really need, without so much as stepping out your front door. (Although the occasional frappuccino is nice.) I´m not sure I ever felt that way as a grown up (if I really am a grown up) until I was a mother.
Those are my thoughts for now. Thanks for reading, millions of devoted fans. :) But, alas, if I don´t sleep soon, my family will not be grateful for my Edisonian crankiness. And Bella´s one year pictures are tomorrow morning! (Only 2 months late!) And since there will be some family pictures, I really must get some beauty sleep. Although at this point, I will settle for some not-ugly sleep.
